15 - A rare pearl

Can

But what have I experienced with this girl? Did I ask her to marry me not once but three times? How much did I love her to do such a thing?

It's clear that I cared for her enormously, I could already tell from the photos in the gallery on my phone and her words only confirm it.

- Do you think it'll still be able to perform her miracle? -

I ask her this because, at this point, I don't really know what to think, I still have a lot to process, I need to put my thoughts in order and I am more confused than ever, for the moment I prefer to change the subject.

- How did we become partners in Fikri Harika? -

She tells me about Cey Cey and Muzo's initiative and how this brought Aziz here to the estate and consequently me, how she was the major shareholder with them, then a partner with Aziz and how I eventually sold the boat and became a partner in turn.

- I sold my boat? -

- Yeah, you sold it to be with me and I bought it back for you, now it's our boat... I mean it was then we'll see - She lowers her gaze embarrassed.

I shake my head once again in disbelief, I would never have thought of selling my beloved boat, it was a part of me, it had always been my release valve, it's no coincidence that I left for a year on my boat. It's a dimension that calms me down and makes me feel free like nothing else in the world, sailing manages to keep my demons and fears at bay, it has always been essential for me to do it in times of stress. Evidently I have found something, or rather someone, that I consider more important than freedom, that gives me more peace than anything else, including the boat.

The way she talks to me makes me feel at home, I feel a warmth that I don't think I've ever felt before, and I have to think about that too.

- Hey in the end you're not eating anything, are you afraid that my cooking could be so terrible? Come on eat, I was thinking of taking you for a tour of the estate after lunch if you want to tamam, is that ok? -

I nod and start eating, we both need to lighten our spirits from too many thoughts - Tell me about your book, how was the publication, did you tour a lot? -

Her eyes light up with joy, she tells me that it is his childhood dream come true, he was the first to believe in her when they were still almost strangers, it was a surprise for her that it was so popular and that it was published in more than 20 foreign countries.

- And how many of these did you visit for the book presentation? -

She looks around uncomfortably - I travelled the length and breadth of Turkey, but I didn't go abroad, you had promised me that we would travel together and you weren't there, I wasn't able to do it on my own at that time -

I am struck once again by his words, I ask myself once again: what were we to each other? She is telling me about a feeling that not only I have never felt before but I feel I have never known in others either, it was something very, very special.

- Now I'm writing another book, but the agency and the business and... now this one ... have distracted me a bit but it won't be long before I finish it, I'll let you read that too if you like -

- Tabii ki evet, of course I will, I will be happy to read it, tell me about yourself, your life, where you grew up -

Again her eyes sparkle, expressing a crazy energy, a boundless love for her family and her noisy neighbourhood.

- And then Layla and Ayhan... -

- Layla, isn't that the Layla from Fikri Harika's accounting department? -

- Evet, Layla's my sister.

I shake my head in surprise - You couldn't be more different both physically and in manner, I never would have guessed you were sisters -

I see her tilting her head to the side thoughtfully - Can, but did you understand that Layla is your sister-in-law? I mean, that she married Emre? -

I open my eyes wide in amazement. - What? No, I mean she came with my parents and Emre the night I woke up, I thought her presence was strange, in fact ... damn, a lot has happened in these two lost years -

-Yes, they have been intense years, I don't lose hope that you can come back to remember them, you just have to rest and take things slowly, slowly everything will find its right place in your mind I am sure. What do you think then, did you enjoy your lunch? Do you want a coffee -

I compliment her on what she has prepared, I'm honest, it was really good. I help her tidy up and we have a coffee before leaving, as we walk down the steps of the house Sanem takes my hand, it must have been a habit of hers obviously, then she realises and moves away running it through her hair embarrassed.

She didn't make me feel uncomfortable I must say, in fact maybe I was sorry that she left her, phew Can, you don't even know what you want I think to myself as I walk alongside her up a stretch of road through the trees. She has become silent but it is not an embarrassed silence, it seems more like a moment of recollection and reflection, she needs it and I must say I need it too.

We finally arrive at an alley flanked by a high hedge and in front of us a crazy view opens up, the Bosphorus, the vegetation on its banks, the thousands of boats that cross it at all hours of the day and night, and in the background the great bridge linking Asia and Europe, one of the symbols of Istanbul.

- How wonderful! You have chosen a beautiful corner of paradise for yourself, it must be said.

She sits at the end of the pier with her feet dangling, I stand there for a while looking around, then I put my hands behind me to breathe deeply. After a month of being immobile in a room I feel like I can finally breathe, but with the salty smell of the sea comes her perfume, I try to inhale even more deeply to capture as much of it as possible. I turn to look at her, she does the same, our eyes remain chained for an eternal moment, it seems to me to live a dejavu, how many times have I looked at her like that and she has returned my gaze so intensely?

Is something of my feelings for her resurfacing or is it me who is experiencing something special at this moment?

I can't understand it, I only know that I feel attracted like a magnet to this very special girl, as my father says, a rare pearl.