never,

you were sobbing about your

parents divorce again,

even after all the time that had flown by.

but this time, on another shoulder;

and i wonder if he wore specially

absorbent clothes just for your tears?

or was he just better at dealing

with your catastrophic mindset,

undoing knots in your cerebellum

with his nimble fingers?

because either way, you were

beaming constantly afterwards,

as we went to drink coffee together.

you leaned forward and whispered,

your breath scented by caffeine and cream,

"you should find your soulmate too, declan."

you tapped your pinkie

affectionately against my nose.

my teeth ground together.

"i'm sure i already have."

"really?" you said absent-mindedly,

stirring your skinny latte with a wooden stick.

"then why are you still single?"

i shrugged my shoulders,

letting my eyelids droop.

"you should really go for it.

you don't know how much matthew

has helped me getting over my parent's

divorce. i finally feel i can move on.

and my mum approves. she took one

look at him, and hauled me into the

kitchen, hissing enquiries." you

giggled girlishly, unknowingly twirling

your hair around and around your finger.

constricting me tighter and tighter.

"matthew is my saviour.

he's helped me more than anyone-"

screech. the sound of my chair scraping

backwards.

"i have to go to the bathroom." i

interrupted, ignoring

your inquisitive eyes as they followed me across

the bustling café.

in the bathroom,

i clenched the sides of the sink

with both my hands and i glared

into my reflection. i wasn't bad looking;

i was actually quite striking when i

bothered with my appearance.

but i only had self-hate in that moment.

and for matthew.

two years helping you, skye,

and it was all forgotten by some

dreary, lost-boy blonde?

i decided that i was going to destroy him with my own hands.

and destroy him i did.