skye,

i still remember the night

when we were falling asleep

together on your mum's

threadbare rug, on your

thirteenth birthday.

i had you wrapped in my

arms, and you had your

hand, barely noticeable,

fluttering against my cheek.

i was looking at you, into you

and i felt like i was enveloped in

hysteria.

your breaths were sweet, and tickled

my nose. i could barely see you,

but the moonlight trickled onto

your expression, and you looked so

content.

"do you remember kieran?" you asked

me quietly.

"from two years ago?"

"yeah."

a silence.

"i wonder if my first

real boyfriend was like that,

will i have any luck with the rest?"

i pulled you closer to me,

until your angel heartbeat was the

metronome to mine,

and i said, "skye, he was an arsehole."

"i can't help wondering

if every guy will treat me like that.

cheating on me i mean.

my dad's cheating on my mum, you know."

you sat up, abruptly, your hand shaking

as you raked it through your loose waves.

"i'm so scared that love doesn't exist."

it was right in front of you,

skye. i always loved you.

i tapped your arm.

"skye. you've only just turned thirteen.

you have many years ahead of you

to worry about love. kieran was one

wave in an entire sea, a speck of dust

on one singular plant in a whole

field. don't let bad pasts depict the future."

slowly, you lowered yourself

back down and snuggled into me.

"if you weren't my best friend,

i could honestly love you, declan."

"shh. go to sleep, angel."

"i love you." you said lightly.

i knew you meant it lightly.

but all the same my heart beat

fast.

i closed my eyes. "i love you, too."