Chapter 38

Sylvana watches me over the rim of her coffee mug as I eat breakfast. Jake is due today, and I’m starting to get serious withdrawals over his absence.

The only good thing about him being gone for three whole days is that I seem to have built a bond with Sylvana. We’ve spent a lot of time together these past couple of days, chatting about everything and nothing. I’m more comfortable in this woman’s presence than I ever was in my own mother’s. She has a gentle way about her that makes you relax and never judges you.

“You look so much better today, ~Miele~. So much more color in your face than the day you arrived with Jake,” she regards me with an affectionate warmth in her eye.

“I don’t feel as bad. The nausea is improving, and I’m no longer tired and emotional. I think my body is settling with the hormones.” I drink my cup of cocoa and nestle my feet under myself on the couch beside her.

“It’s that Carrero blood. Jake, especially, was a trying pregnancy. I was so up and down in the beginning and so very tired. It could be a sign you’re carrying another hot-tempered ~Italiano …~” She smiles, placing a hand on my knee for a moment and squeezing gently. “…a mini hurricane.” The sheer pride in her statement has me smiling too.

I can imagine Jake must’ve been a handful as a child. He’s a handful as an adult, and that’s with maturing. I can’t imagine what his offspring are going to be like.

“Sometimes it doesn’t seem real, and then other times it’s so real I find myself panicking.” I sigh and realize at this moment it’s heading toward the latter. I’m a little breathless at the thought of a junior Jake giving me a good run around as a mother.

“You’ll be fine. Jake will be a doting father as much as he will be a doting husband. You’re lucky to have such a strong relationship to work with, a strong man who isn’t afraid to show the world he loves you,” she smiles my way dreamily, a twinkle in her eye at the obvious adoration of her child.

We’re sitting in the cozy lounge reserved for family and have a cheesy romance movie on the big screen. She had the breakfast served here this morning, bagels and cream cheese, and we’re both sat in our fluffy robes curled up in the quiet, cozy room.

“Yes, he does. I didn’t think I would ever be here. There was a time I believed Jake never saw anything other than a friend.” I sigh at the memory; it seems light years ago that I was that closed-off version of myself, getting Jake’s inner thoughts very wrong.

“Jake always was a little lost when it came to verbalizing his feelings. He had a bad time with that Marissa, and it caused him to be a little overprotective of his heart. He had no defenses for you, though. I still remember him coming to me so broken-hearted because he sent you away from his office, thinking he could never live up to what he thought you wanted him to be or ever had a chance at gaining your love.” For a moment, she’s so pained that I get tearful.

The thought of Jake so hurt brings tears to my eyes and a deep ache to my heart.

“Please don’t. I can’t bear to think of Jake that way, knowing we were both hurting and too stupid to be honest with each other. If we’d been honest after we did get together, then the mess with Marissa would’ve never happened.” I sigh, laying my cup on the low table in front of us.

“Honesty is very important … as is communication, and still cherishing one another even after the first throes of passion and excitement have died.” Sylvana focuses on me very seriously. “I know from first-hand experience that marriages can stray if you don’t focus on what you mean to one another and if you stop telling each other how you feel.” She pats me again, and I get the impression she’s talking about Giovanni’s affair.

I have no idea what to say or ask or even let on that I know what she’s talking about. It’s too forward to say a word, so I say nothing. Sylvana doesn’t seem to notice my awkward silence, more intent on carrying on. “Giovanni had an affair with a woman I’d thought my friend,” she states rather factually. No flicker of emotion at all, which completely surprises me. “We grew apart, no time for one another anymore, and sadly we’d forgotten to still love and cherish one another. He found solace in another’s arms.” She sighs at the memory.

“Oh, Sylvana, I don’t know if I could ever forgive Jake for more than a kiss. I can’t imagine.” The tears start brimming in my eyes as I try not to think of the pain she must’ve endured. How much that would destroy me if I had been in her shoes, a kiss was hard enough to forgive.

“In a way, it saved our marriage. We’d grown so distant from one another, and this brought emotion and pain to the surface. I realized by the depth of my heartbreak that I still loved him, and by seeing me so heartbroken, he realized he still loved me. The guilt pained him so much that it eventually brought us back together; now, we’re stronger than ever. The same will be said of you and Jake over this nonsense with that girl.” She seems completely unfazed by this revelation about her marriage, yet I’m so gobsmacked that she could’ve ever forgiven something so utterly destructive.

The thought of her husband having full-on sex with someone else doesn’t even seem to flicker across her face.

“What happened with her? The other woman?” I sigh at the thought of an affair. My heart wrenched for this woman I adore so very much.

“I’m sure Jake told you that it was Daniel’s mother? I know Jake tells you everything, ~Miele.~ It’s okay. Unfortunately, his relationship with his father is very strained because of it, and I know Jake believes that Giovanni had more affairs, but I know the truth. Giovanni cut that woman from his life and has never had another dealing with her.” Her expression holds only conviction, and I believe her.

I nod rather than deny the fact, sure that she won’t be upset about my prior knowledge. I nod to show I’m listening because I don’t have any actual words to say; I nod to agree that Jake does believe his father is some womanizing man-whore and still despises him for it … Ironically. Whatever she took my nod to mean, I hope I covered all bases.

“Jake was already becoming more than a handful. He’d gone off the rails, with that hot blood and impulsive nature of his meeting teen hormones and then a broken heart, and Giovanni was having a very difficult time reeling him in. Jacob has always been a very big handful to deal with.” She smiles affectionately for a second, wrinkling her nose with a sigh. “He had a chip on his shoulder about trust and love, so finding out his father hurt me that way sort of sealed his fate. Jake has never trusted him since, and he’s so stubborn, like his father, that he wouldn’t listen to reason.” Sylvana looks so sad and broken that her son and husband are still at odds over something she has long forgiven.

“Maybe if he knew the finer details of the affair and knew for sure his father never did it again … or even why he did?” I offer, trying to find a way to help. Really wanting my beloved to find a way to mend bridges with his dad.