Chapter 26

“We need to go out today, Emma,” Jake says, waking me from my nap with a gentle kiss. I’m on the couch where I fell asleep with a book. Kissing has made a definite comeback, although Jake never lets it escalate into full-on passion. I know it’s because he doesn’t want to escalate things, but he has returned to kissing me softly, tenderly, and sometimes erotically. I’ve managed to gain control of the Demon Bitch appearing in my head, at least when it comes to kissing; she doesn’t pop in there as easily anymore.

“Where?” I stretch out and yawn. This last week, I haven’t felt like doing anything or going out; morning sickness and tiredness are currently ruling my life. I guess I’m finally starting to accept the idea of a baby growing inside me; appointments with doctors have been arranged for a week. I’m not exactly jumping around with excitement, but at least I’m not trying to ignore that this child exists anymore. I’m slowly coming to terms with it; whether that acceptance has found happiness yet is another issue entirely, but I’m no longer fretting every time I think about it.

I’ve been lazing around the rooms, watching movies, eating a lot, reading, curling up with him, or watching him work out at the gym while I laze on a lounger with a smoothie or a book. Jake has been working from home a lot more and generally letting me get away with extreme laziness since that day in our bedroom.

My anger is calming with his constant affections, and I have found myself in more level moods if still a little touchy at times. I’m more in control and at peace with myself, sort of. Jake’s touch and his intimacy are what I needed all along. We’re still healing. I still need to forgive him fully, and I’m not sure where I am with trusting him yet because we haven’t gotten to a point where it has been tested.

Demon Bitch is still a situation he hasn’t even begun to approach yet, still not facing the fact he needs to contact her regarding the child she’s carrying, pushing that issue aside in favor of focusing on me. I have the impression that he avoids her because of how it makes me feel and what he did. It’s a mess in his mind, and it’s obvious his guilt is right up there beside my heartbreak.

“The Hamptons.” He smiles, leaning down and kissing me on the cheek before helping me to my feet. He smooths down my dress and hauls my cardigan around me to button it up in a very paternal way.

“Why are we going there?” I lazily watch his fingers at their task and ignore the urge to have them on my naked skin, the desire to be with him fully still aching inside me. But I trust him to know that sex wouldn’t help how I am thinking or feeling. He asked me to give him a little faith in knowing what I need, and so I am.

“First, we need to tell my family about this.” He smooths a hand down my flat stomach affectionately, making me smile warmly. He’s been waiting to see his mother face-to-face and had wanted things between us to be more stable before telling them. “Secondly, I set up a house viewing.” He pauses warily, that flicker of doubt crossing his eyes and furrowing his brows as he waits for my reaction. Tenses for my response, more like. I am still at the subtle change in his demeanor and can’t help but roll my eyes that only he could bring us back around full circle to the reason we’d ever hurt one another in the first place.

“A what?” I ogle him with narrowed eyes, but he only kisses me quickly, with a fleeting look of apprehension, and continues straightening out my appearance for me, acting like he’s in full control and not nervous in the slightest.

~Hmmm.~

I rub the tiredness from my eyes and try to get my foggy brain together. I’m not sure if I even have any real reaction to this.

“We’re going to look at a house … Our possible future home.” He at least has the grace to seem uncomfortable and straightens up to lock eyes with mine. “You wanted commanding bossy asshole back? Here he is. Now, if you want to tell me you still don’t want it, then fine, I won’t be an asshole about it, but at least let me show you first.” The confidence doesn’t quite reach his tone, but I sigh and realize I’m not even mad. I’m not anything. No fear, no panic, no irritation. He is exactly who I wanted him to be, and I should accept that a future with him involves a new house.

“Okay.” I run my fingers through my hair and try to fluff it out.

“Okay, you’ll let me show you the house?” he queries, with a severe look of trepidation on his face. The cute youthfulness he sometimes gets when he doubts himself makes him more adorable.

“Somewhere with a garden and maybe less bachelor pad décor might be nice,” I sigh, waving around the apartment. It’s modern, sleek, and male, and even though I am happy here with Jake, most of the time, it’s not exactly child-friendly or homely, and the city is never somewhere I’ve loved living. It was convenient for work, but I’ve never bonded with it.

Jake’s grin widens, and he throws a toe-curling kiss on me, taking my breath away and upping the hormones in my blood as he wraps his arms around my waist and thoroughly ravages my mouth. I’m almost panting with horniness when he pulls away. As kisses go, this is one of the ~pre-fucked up relationship~ varieties. He sits me back on my feet but stays close, nose to nose, as I try in vain to catch my breath and cool the heat creeping up over my skin. This no-sex thing better not be something we need for much longer.

“We’re driving, not flying, so it’s going to be a long trip, ~Bambina~; pack some books. Nora is fixing you some snacks for the road.” He turns and walks off toward his office, a place he’s frequently using nowadays.

“Why driving? The flight is only an hour.” I watch his strong back and shoulders dip as he picks up his cell from the charging dock on the way past. I’m a little too enamored with his butt and its lack of nakedness lately.

“You can’t fly in the first trimester of pregnancy; it’s too risky, ~Bambina~.” He throws me a smile and walks into the open door, leaving me to watch him depart and shake my head.

~Jake, the attentive daddy-to-be. Who knew?~

It makes me smile despite myself; this is another side to the Carrero playboy I met long ago. I never in a million years imagined that the smooth Casanova with a sexy smile and hunky body would be the guy pampering me to insanity over his unborn child. I swear one of the books I’ve seen him read lately is a pregnancy book.

I stare after him blankly as my head swims with how different he’s being with me over this, compared to Demon Bitch. He seems to want this a whole lot but never seemed to care with Marissa about any of this and never seemed to take any real interest in her pregnancy.

I know he’s kept in contact with the lawyers since their kiss, and she’s fighting the DNA request; it seems after getting her hopes up with a kiss, she’s now digging her claws in to make things difficult. He told the lawyers a few days ago that he won’t attend maternity classes with her as planned and doesn’t intend to be at the birth. He said he saw no need to complicate things further, not that he won’t be attending those things with me anyway. I gaze down at my normal flat stomach and sigh. We’ll be needing those things soon enough, and the idea doesn’t appeal at all.

~You have a lot to answer for, tadpole.~

Going to tell his family is nerve-racking, and neither of us knows what the reaction is going to be, considering he already has another baby on the way with another woman.

I haven’t even contemplated telling my mother. That’s a whole other ball game I don’t want to approach just yet; something in me knows she wouldn’t exactly be a doting or happy grandmother, either.

***

“Ready?” Jake appears at the door as I zip up my case, placing it beside his. He’s already done his, finishing before coming to get me off the couch. I’m playing catch-up under his watchful eye.

“Yup.” I smile and squeal as he scoops me into his arms for a kiss and tells me he loves me. I have missed this kind of spontaneity from him; the last couple of days have been filled with never-ending touching and giggles. He’s still being gentlemanly with where he places his hands, and it reminds me a little of the man he was before I was properly his, that boundary of what is appropriate touching but still hands-on in every way.

“I love you too,” I whisper, breathing him in before he sets me back on my feet. I bite my lip in painful adoration as he bends and kisses my abdomen softly, murmuring, “I love you too,” to my dress before leading me to the living room. A gush of complete infatuation washes over me at that little thoughtless moment. It’s just instinctual for him to tell his child he loves them. I know he will be the kind of father I can only dream of.

He directs Mathews to our bags and asks for the Mercedes keys.

“Mercedes? What about your Batmobile?” I ask, watching him take keys from one of the other men. Mathews hands me my case.

“It’s a long trip, ~Bambina~. If you want to nap, you can’t in the P1. Its seats don’t move and aren’t built for long-distance travel. You need to be able to stretch out and get comfy. The Mercedes is that car unless you want me to take one of the SUVs? They’re bigger and more spacious.”

I gape at him in complete awe.

~Where did I find him? What has he done with Jake Carrero? The super-hot playboy who dropped women by the wayside weekly? Here he is, sacrificing driving his pride and joy, so his girlfriend can take some pregnancy naps and be comfier.~

I couldn’t love him more if I tried.

“I love you,” I say with so much conviction that he turns around and looks at me like I’ve never said it before. A grin breaks over his face, and he closes the gap between us, kissing me softly right in front of the waiting men. A wave of sheer emotion runs through me, my stomach tingling with butterflies. I can’t imagine a life in which Jake didn’t kiss me anymore. It doesn’t bear thinking about. That gorgeous face, masculine jawline, teasing lips, and the pearly white Hollywood smile he always casually throws my way. He has no idea how devastating he is to me.

I am finally starting to leave the pain behind to make space to appreciate what he still is to me. I will never leave him. We will get through this. We have to; life without Jake doesn’t bear thinking about ever again.

“Feeling’s mutual.” He smiles with his most seductive ~‘I’m hot’~ twinkle, leading me by the hand to the waiting elevator.