26: Secrets and Regrets

I shot down the stairs after Liz, hoping I could explain everything to her. "Liz, please wait"

She stopped at the end of the stairs, her eyes zoning in on me with unshed tears "What exactly are you going to explain to me?" she shouted. "I've already seen everything with my own eyes"

"What's going on here?" my dad asked, coming into the hallway.

Jason came down and stood behind me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Does your dad even know?" Liz scoffed.

"Know what?" my dad asked, confused at the situation.

"Liz please, can we go back upstairs and talk about this" I pleaded.

"Of course, you haven't told him" Liz sneered and turned to face my father "Did you know that Rosie and Jason are together?"

"Is this true?" my father asked, looking at both Jason and me.

Before I could explain anything to my dad, Jason cut in "Its true sir. I'm in love with your daughter. We were just waiting on the right time on telling everyone"

"Love?" Liz shouted; her eyes wide. "How long has this been going on for?"

"Liz, just give me a chance to explain. I never wanted you to find out like this. We were going to tell you, I promise" I said, my voice wavering.

My mother walked in at that moment, joined by Max, her eyebrows furrowed in concern "Is everything okay?"

"No, no its not" Liz screeched. "Rosie and Jason are dating and thought it would be a good idea to keep it a secret"

"It wasn't like that" I tried to explain "We were- "

"I knew it" Max smirked, "I knew something was going on between you two"

"Please Max, this is not the right time" I groaned, frustrated.

"This was exactly why I wasn't happy with you going away on your trip with Jason. You kept saying how there was nothing going on between you two, but I could tell from a mile off"

"What? You broke up with Max because of Jason?" Liz shook her head.

"No... well... not exactly... it wasn't like that...please let's just get away from here and let me explain everything" I pleaded.

"No amount of explaining will make up for how hurt I feel right now" Tears fell down her face as she wiped away at them furiously.

The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt Liz. She wasn't supposed to find out this way. I could see how this would hurt her, but I just hoped that I would get the chance to explain everything.

"Please Liz, just hear us out" Jason begged.

Liz just shook her head at Jason "How could you Jason? I thought we told each other everything. What hurts the most is that you, of all people, kept this a secret from me"

At this point, Ian had walked in, seeing everyone at  . "Are you okay Liz?" he asked, seeing Liz face splotched with  .

"Don't put the blame on Jason" I pleaded.

"Of course," Liz scoffed "I can just imagine it was all you that wanted to keep this a secret right? Just like you asked me to keep the secret of me and-" she paused, realising what she was about to say.

"What secret?" Jason asked.

"Oh, nothing" Liz looked to the floor, her voice now quiet.

"Nothing?" I scoffed. "Now that it's time to tell your secret, you go all quiet?" I shouted back.

"What secret?" Jason repeated.

"Oh, hasn't Liz told you? She's dating your best friend" I smirked.

Jason's eyes furrowed as he looked to Ian "What is she talking about?" Ian stepped closer to Liz and took her hand in his. Jason zeroed in on this, and took a deep breath in. "Please tell me this is a joke"

I instantly felt guilty about telling Jason Liz's secret. In that moment of anger, I wasn't thinking and took all this out on my best friend. What had I done?

"How could you?" Jason cried out, stepping past me to face Ian. "That's my little sister" he said, as he pushed Ian.

"Jason don't" Liz pleaded, trying to push Jason away from Ian. "Let me explain"

"Okay, no need for violence. Please take this upstairs." My dad said, trying to diffuse the situation. "We don't want to cause a scene in front of everybody at the party. I have a feeling you all have a lot to discuss"

Jason stormed back up the stairs and into my room without saying a word to anybody. Ian and Liz held onto each other as they slowly followed suit. I looked up at my dad, frozen on the spot, my own tears falling down my face "We'll talk about this later" he said, shaking his head before heading back to the garden, with my mother following closely behind, giving me a small smile.

I sighed as I stared at Max. I suppose I owed him an explanation. "Listen- "

"You don't have to explain anything" Max said.

"I just want you to know that nothing was going on between Jason and I when we were together"

"But you did have feelings for him" It wasn't a question but more of a statement.

I shrugged "Maybe. I didn't know at the time. It was only afterwards that I realised that I liked him as more than a friend"

"I get that" Max smiled. "I hope he treats you well. If he gives you any bother, you know where to come"

"Thanks Max" I smiled, giving him a small hug before rushing inside my room. It seemed like the discussions had already begun.

"You're my best friend" Jason shouted, the mindless thumping of the music from the garden now background noise. "I just can't believe you would keep something like this from me"

"We were just waiting for the right time to tell you" Ian explained back.

"And what about you and Rosie? Isn't that the same thing?" Liz shouted.

I entered the room, all eyes on me as I walked in. "I'm sorry Liz" I said sincerely "You're right. It is the same thing. Like you, we were also waiting on the right moment to tell you. In fact, we were going to tell you the next time we saw you. I didn't realise that would be today"

"You weren't supposed to find out this way" Jason sighed "I hated keeping this secret from you, but we thought it best to wait and see how it plays out before we told everyone"

"I hated keeping this a secret too" Liz said, pointing to her and Ian.

"I think we all went about this the wrong way" Ian said "None of us should have been keeping secrets in the first place. If we were honest and upfront with each other to begin with, we wouldn't be in this position"

Jason shook his head "I just can't believe we are even discussing this. I mean, it's you. And my little sister.  I can't get my head around it"

"And I can't even imagine what you have been doing with my best friend" Liz shouted back.

"I hold my hands up, we should have spoken to you sooner about this, but I can't believe you didn't tell me about you and Ian. He's my best friend"

"I didn't know how you would take it" Liz defended. "and from what's happened today, you clearly didn't take it well"

"How else did you expect me to react? Did you think I would jump for joy at the fact that you were sneaking around with my best friend?"

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way" Ian said "but trust me when I say that I love Liz and I would never do anything to hurt  "

Jason pursed his lips as he stared at Ian "You may not hurt Liz, but you've hurt me. The fact that you didn't value our friendship enough to even tell me anything, really hurts"

"Do you know what hurts even more?" Liz scoffed "Seeing my brother and my best friend locking lips like they've been together forever"

Jason sighed, placing his hand against his head. I wanted to take his hand and tell him everything would be okay, but I didn't want to add any more fuel to this already burning fire.

"If I could go back in time and change that moment, I really would" I pleaded to Liz. "I didn't mean for you to find out that way. I wished that we could have had a conversation like this ages ago where we could have aired out our differences"

"Too late for that now" Liz jeered.

"Please Liz, can we just have a civil conversation about this now that we are all here" Jason sighed.

Liz pursed her lips and looked out the window, folding her arms "I really don't feel like talking much right now. To be honest, I'm all talked out. I now know how you feel right now Jason. I feel betrayed, I feel hurt, I feel so much resentment. If you're feeling anything like I am feeling right now, you'll know that I just don't have the energy to fight anymore"

"Please, Liz. Can't we just sit and talk about this" I said, biting my lip to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm done talking to you. Like Jason said, I'm hurt that you didn't feel like you could speak to me about this. I'm hurt that you thought it was okay to sneak behind my back and do, god knows what, with my brother. I'm hurt that as my best friend you would do something like this to me"

Up to this point, I had tried to remain calm, but I could no longer hold back, a flood of tears flowing down my cheeks "Do you know how painful it was to keep your secret from Jason? I admit, it was funny at first but then it just got too much to take on. I felt so guilty keeping your secret from Jason and my secret from you. Keeping these secrets from the two people I love most in the world was so difficult. This has been just as hard on me as it has been for you"

"Oh yeah, this must have been so difficult for you to keep a secret while you were screwing my brother" she sneered.

"Right, that's enough Liz" Jason shouted out, making me jump. I had never seen Jason so angry before. He was usually so calm and collected and nothing had ever bothered him. Now, his face was so red, I wouldn't have been surprised if he punched a wall.

"Let's go Ian" Liz said, taking Ian's hand and walking towards the door "And tell mom and dad I won't be home tonight" she said, before slamming the door shut in my room.

Jason sighed, taking a seat on my bed, rubbing his hands over his face. I went to sit behind him, and placed my hands on his shoulders, hoping that little gesture would comfort him.

"Are you okay?" It was a stupid question really, but I didn't know what else to ask to make this situation better.

"I think I just need some time to wrap my head around this" he sighed. "I just can't believe that my best friend would do something like this to me"

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way. It's been a tough day for all of us"

"I'm sorry your birthday is ruined. I didn't plan for it to go this way"

"Well, it will definitely be a birthday to remember" I chuckled, hoping to make light of the situation.

He remained silent for a while more. I didn't know what else to say or do to make the situation better.

"Did you really know about Ian and Liz?" he asked, now turning to look at me.

My heartbeat faster, completely forgetting about how this would look to Jason. If I learned anything from tonight, it was to tell the truth.

"Erm... yes, yes I did" I admitted.

"And you didn't think to say anything?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

I didn't think anything I would say would make this better. "I didn't think it was my secret to tell"

"But you knew all this time"

I had to figure out something to say to make up for the mess I had just made "Liz really likes Ian. She has for a while. I think you should give them a chance"

"I think it's going to be a while before I can trust anyone right now" Jason shook his head and sighed as he got up off the bed.

"Jason, I- "

"I think I just need some time for myself" he said, not looking my way as he walked out my room.

I was on the verge of tears once again. What had I done?