Ajo: Chapter Eleven

Ajo arranged to have dinner alone with Galeia.

At his request, the Queen joined their guests in another hall and instructed the servants to set the table and leave the future monarchs in uninterrupted privacy. Ajo waited in the shadows, choosing not to join Galeia when she arrived, but keeping his distance to study her. She barely recognized she was alone, moving like one in a trance to take her seat. She did not take time to enjoy her food as she usually did, but chewed and swallowed numbly, eating only to satisfy her hunger. Her brow was set in deep concentration, and her aura grew more forlorn as she wrestled with herself.

Unable to watch her suffer a moment longer, Ajo left the shadows and joined the table. He reminded himself to remain patient and give Galeia the chance to voice her concerns.

When she saw him, Galeia gave a startled gasp.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," he said as if it wasn't the most familiar thing in the world for them to eat together.

"You didn't," Galeia answered. "I was lost in thought."

"Anxious about a certain wedding?"

"It does seem...a bit soon, doesn't it?"

Ajo gaped at her. "No, it doesn't. I'm to be king in two days. I don't think soon is the right way to describe it."

"It means something different to you."

"What does it mean to you?"

"I'm not ready."

"Why not?" His voice rose, hinting at anger. "Am I such a monster to you?"

"No, Ajo—"

"Then why are you acting condemned?"

"Because I have a life outside of this castle," Galeia spat, cutting Ajo's anger off.

"What—do you mean the Gretch?"

Galeia scowled. "What?"

"I know it's you. I told you today, right before we almost kissed."

"Before we—what?"

"Are you really going to continue with this? Galeia, grow up." It came out more venomous than intended. He ran his hand through his hair and steadied his voice, berating himself for being unable to control his emotions. He commanded himself to bite his tongue and listen without interrupting. "Tell me what you mean when you say you have a life outside of the castle."

"I mean...I've spent years, so many years, alone. You left for your trial, Isolam was chasing pretty faces, and everyone else treated me like I was this feral thing. Even before that, you were given books and expectations, and I was...there. This wild little girl that everyone indulged but secretly feared. I was tolerated...because of you. Because I was your future queen. I've been so lonely, Ajo. For so long. Something was missing from my life. Purpose. Meaning. Beyond the walls of this castle. Beyond being the object of your affection."

Ajo's jaw clenched.

"You were indulged," he seethed, "and too often. It spoiled you. You think you know loneliness? Do you know what it was like for me, all those years, watching from behind a window while you played at whim?"

"Please—"

"Mother let you do whatever you wanted, while I burned candle after candle over The History of Tree Cats or Confrontations of the Old Lands! And when I finally looked up, when I was allowed a moment to breathe—I went to you! Because you were my respite from those boring, ancient words, and the weight of a kingdom on my shoulders. I spent most of my childhood—no, my entire life—alone, and you despair over a few years of it?"

"I know you had it rough—"

"Rough?" He laughed bitterly. "A life devoted to others while you played under the sun. That's not rough, Galeia. That's torture." He paused as the rush of anger left him. In its place was fatigue, and shame that he had let his emotions get the better of him.

"I can understand," he began carefully. "I know loneliness better than most. I wish to comfort you. Why can't I be the same to you as you are to me?"

"You didn't let me finish. You chose to grasp at me for your joy, but I ventured forth. I knew that if I couldn't find purpose here, I would have to seek it somewhere else."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't need your hand to pull me from solitude, because I've already done it myself. I've solved my loneliness, and now it's the burden of yours that weighs me down. I've found some—"

She stopped herself.

But Ajo wouldn't let it die so easily.

"What have you found? Spit it out, this monumental thing you've discovered."

"I don't wish to cause you any pain, Ajo."

"Then why can't you be content in our marriage?"

He knelt before her and Galeia did not attempt to pull away.

"I have something for you."

From his pocket he withdrew a book wrapped in brown paper.

"No, Ajo, please. Not another gift from your travels—"

"It's not."

He tore the paper away to reveal a green cover with a silver dragon. He placed it in her lap, and the dragon stared up at Galeia in wait.

"You know I've little appetite for books," she muttered as she touched the dragon's face.

"You will like this one."

He turned to a particular page and watched her eyes roam over the words.

"Read," he urged.

"A wild thing lives here, in my heart..."

Her voice began to tremble, and her body followed suit.

"Its temper is fierce and untamed, and that is why I adore it.

I chase it, I feel it slip between my fingers.

What is it, if not my own heart, my own desire?

Who am I if I choose not to follow it, even unto my very death?

When my blood has dried to dirt

And grass grows between my bones

When all that I was is lost to time—

Will the stars remember my name?

It matters not, for I am bound to the chase.

One day, perhaps, my hunt will be over.

Only then will my eternity begin.

I must cling to its image, and will never lose that—"

"Face, that light," Ajo interjected with his own recitation. "Of the wild thing that lives here, in my heart."

There were tears on Galeia's lips and cheeks. Ajo wanted to kiss them away.

"You've read this poem to me before," she said.

"You said it was your favorite. What you didn't know was that it was written about you. For you."

"Oh," she said with a slight gasp.

Ajo took it as an encouraging sound.

"I wrote everything in this book. I've been adding it to its pages since we were children. You've listened to quite a few poems about yourself, though you didn't know it. This is your book. My love for you, written and drawn. Your purpose was never to only be the object of my affection. Your purpose is to be yourself, to be Galeia, and our love is not demanded or expected. It's natural."

Galeia stared at the page.

"I do not deserve this."

"I thought the same of this," Ajo said and pulled at something under his collar.

A piece of string looped around his neck. Tied at its center was a cracked, white snail shell.

The treasure of the Frog King.

"I've fought to be worthy of you. And now, I know I am."

"Ajo—"

He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her towards him.

Their lips met in a gentle kiss.

They remained that way for a moment, as shock bounced between them. Galeia closed her eyes but Ajo kept his open to watch her. Growing bold, he tried to part her lips with his tongue, a technique of passion he had read about many times before. For a glorious second she relaxed and her mouth opened.

She accepted him. All that he was, her betrothed. Love of her life.

But it was a second and nothing more.

Galeia pulled away and put her hand on his chest to push against him, and when she opened her eyes they were full of shame.

"But...we're to be married," he said.

It was a pathetic reply, but the only one he could conjure.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You want to marry the girl in this book, but it's not me. The real girl is still wandering the woods. She's not a queen, she never could be. And she would rather marry the trees than someone she doesn't love as a wife should a husband."

He watched in horror and humiliation as Galeia rose from her seat and ran from his sight.

***

Against his own caution, Ajo hid himself in the wind and followed Galeia into the woods.

He kept his distance and stopped when he saw Galeia approach a young man, a human, who appeared to be waiting for her. Galeia fell into his arms and wept. The human held her, running his fingers through her hair and kissing her head.

The wind swelled with Ajo's anger and blew through the couple until they shivered and moved on.

Ajo followed.

He did not interrupt them as they ran and chased after one another.

He did not interfere when they settled onto the forest floor and the man held Galeia in his arms.

"I want to tell you something," Galeia said to the man.

"Go on," he urged.

Her face scrunched in concentration and the human remained silent and patient, as though he had all the time in the world for her.

"A wild thing lives in my heart," she said and placed her hand on his chest. "Its temper is fierce and that's why I adore it."

The air around Ajo turned to ice.

"When I am bones and dust and the world does not remember my name, I will still love it. One day it might answer my call, and I will stop chasing. Then my true eternity can begin. That is why I cling to its image and never forget the face...of the wild thing that lives here, in my heart."

Ajo's words. His love.

Stolen and torn apart.

Used on someone else.

"That's lovely," the human said. "Did you think of that?"

"I found it in a book. When I read it I thought of you."

"Funny thing, for as you spoke it your face was the one I saw in my mind."

"Honest?"

"Honest."

Galeia raised her face to his—

Ajo did not stay to watch their lips meet.

***

Revenge coursed through his veins.

Ajo wanted to squeeze the man's heart until it burst, so that he would know a sliver of the pain he had caused.

Instead, Ajo retreated to the castle and asked his mother for a moment of privacy in her bedroom. He paced before her with clenched fists and bleary eyes. He was manic, and when he spoke his voice was unsteady.

"You lied to me. You said she loved me."

"She does."

"She told me she would rather marry the trees."

"Galeia is frightened," the Queen said in an attempt to console him. "Or confused. Perhaps it really was a surprise that you chose her."

"It should not have been."

"Truly, Ajo, I did not think it would be."

"I should have told her of my love all those years ago. When I wanted to. You cautioned me against telling her how I felt—"

"I told you to declare your love before your King's Trial. I told you to make sure there was no doubt in her mind." Her expression softened. "I will speak with her."

"If she doesn't love me, if she refuses to marry me—"

"You'll what? Burn down the woods? Lock her away?"

Ajo fell into a chair, exhausted. "I've lost everything."

The Queen placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Galeia will marry you."

"She doesn't love me."

"Nonsense. Galeia has always been willful to a fault. She must be refusing you out of some childish spite."

"That's not it. I saw her in the woods with someone else. A human."

The hand on his shoulder tightened.

"I'm afraid she's going to do something rash. And I will—"

He stopped himself and looked at his mother.

"Help me," he begged. "My happiness hinges on her love. You made sure of that."