Secrets We Keep: Chapter Ten

"Will you tell me the truth?"

The Queen looked at Credence curiously, surprised by the question.

"The truth about what?"

"Everything. About your son and Ma. About the promise that was made before I was born." Credence's jaw tightened. "He told me I couldn't trust you. But you're the only one I can trust, I think."

The Queen studied Credence for a moment.

"Maybe you can't," she answered mournfully. "But I will tell you what you wish to know. I only hope, in the end, you can forgive my part in it."

A shiver of anticipation rolled over Credence's skin.

"Before the woods feared him, before he was given that horrid name, the Collector...he was a shy, intelligent boy...and I remember when Galeia called him friend and brother.

Galeia was a child full of curiosity and mischief, always searching for trouble to get into. That curiosity lent itself to good, for Galeia learned the language of the woods and met its inhabitants with an open heart. Isolam was her closest confidant, as he had been just a fawn at their meeting, a babe like her. Oh, to see them learning to walk together, tripping over their own feet and chasing each other when they finally found their legs! But as they grew, they began to see the world with more than a child's eye.

Isolam found it first. Galeia caught him in a field next to a doe, acting very strangely. He told Galeia the doe confused him. Isolam wanted to protect her—maybe even kiss her. When Galeia retold the encounter to me, I asked if there was someone she felt the same way about. Someone she may want to kiss.

'No,' she told me, 'but someday I might.'

Her reply made my heart sing.

I had already chosen the perfect match. My son, Ajo."

"Ajo," Credence whispered. The Collector's real name.

She had a vague recollection of it, but it was buried deep in her memories.

"My little Ajo was born under a Mead moon, from the trees and rain, a few years before I found Galeia. He was my heart and soul, the Prince of the Wood, and I intended for him to take my place as ruler one day. But the greatness I thrust upon him was costly, and he spent his childhood pursuing knowledge. This hardened him, molding him into a serious boy with little time for frivolity—but there was love in his heart, wonderful love, and his soul was pure and devoted to protecting life. He would be a stern, but kind, ruler.

He changed when he saw Galeia. When I brought her into my kingdom, the very instant he looked at her, a crack formed in his somber nature.

And I was quick to deepen it.

While Galeia gallivanted in the woods, Ajo clung to his books—but his eye was always following her, and I sensed that deep inside was a heart that cried for her alone.

But she was so wild, and he was so careful. When Ajo came to the edge of a cliff, he stopped to study the length of the fall—while Galeia jumped without looking. They loved each other very much, but they loved differently.

Long before Galeia and I talked of kisses, Ajo had come to me to ask for her hand. I urged his love as I tried to coax her into his arms.

I was certain that one day, Galeia would open her eyes to see him in kind. Ajo would take his place as king, and no evil could thrive that his hand wouldn't perish. And by his side, Galeia would become a queen. They would be the calm and the wild, a perfect balance, like nature itself.

But Galeia was always a will unto herself.

The day arrived when she appeared before me with an odd smile on her face. My heart sank as she told me about a human boy. Her desire to kiss him.

It seemed a trivial thing at first, a fleeting fancy—how could Galeia's love for this boy be true? She was always reckless and carefree, and her attraction must have been nothing but an affect of it. At best, her dalliance with this boy was a distraction, a rebellion from the real love she had for Ajo. At worst, her fondness for this human was treason.

But she pressed on, swearing her love for the human was honest.

I grew angry. I called her ungrateful child. Traitor.

I remember Galeia's face when I said those words.

One day I followed her through the woods, until she slipped beyond the border of my kingdom. From the trees, I saw her meet with the human boy. I watched them marry. I remember she looked towards the woods, as if she knew I was there, and there was an ominous smile on her face. And when I learned that she had shared her soul with her mortal husband, a piece of myself was torn away.

Galeia no longer belonged to the woods.

She gave up her eternity, and I would be forced to watch my precious daughter age with time, until one day she closed her eyes forever.

I cannot explain how such a thing tears at a mother.

She was always so rash—but to give up her life? It was more than foolish.

And then, to spite us, Galeia settled in the forest.

Ajo changed. Gone was the wise and gentle prince. In his eyes I saw a fury that meant to ruin the woman he loved.

And I could not help but find blame in Galeia.

Yet I loved her, so I pleaded with my son—but found that my clever children had already met.

'We made a vow, mother,' Ajo told me.

'Has she come home to you then?'

I was, perhaps, a little too eager.

'No,' Ajo said. 'There is one yet to be born. She will mend everything by taking my hand. Galeia's daughter, her firstborn, her blood, promised to me. To save herself, she gave the child away.'

He looked content. Hopeful. Then his face fell, as he considered the gravity of what he'd done.

I flew from Ajo to seek Galeia, and found her belly full and round.

'There will be peace.' Galeia's voice was cold and unfeeling. 'Ajo gave his word.'

'And the child?'

'Will belong to him.'

'Galeia, this is a wicked, foul thing.'

Always so wild. Unpredictable to a fault. She held up her hand to show the red across her palm.

'As blood hits the earth, it binds this promise. Dare to break it, and see nothing but ruin upon my life. I've said the words, mother. I cannot take them back.'

These events were no more Ajo's fault than Galeia's, for both had made the vow willingly. And to my shame, in my desperation to see my children happy, I allowed it.

You were born, and with your arrival, a new contempt rose in Galeia. It could have been jealousy, it could have been a mother's protective passion. It could have been nothing but hatred for Ajo.

Whatever it was, she talked of breaking her promise. Of destroying Ajo.

She told him as much.

To imagine such a betrayal, it shattered him. Why couldn't Ajo be loved? Why did he not deserve it, too? Under the burden of Galeia's hate, he transformed. I didn't want the woods to know what had become of their prince, so I shouldered the blame for his misdeeds. I called him my fury, for that is what he was, shaped and formed from my failures.

Galeia destroyed everything, and so I waited for one who would restore peace. I dared to hope that, in the end, he would be saved. That someone would take Galeia's scorn and turn it into something glorious."

The Queen's eyes were closed, and a deep sorrow painted her face. Credence wanted to reach out and touch her, but the barrier of the tree forced distance between them.

"I will never understand what made Galeia hate him. What grew in her heart to overtake the love built there. I wanted happiness for both of them, and assumed they would find it in each other. But that choice has fallen to you."

"Yet you kept him from finding me. Why?"

The Queen opened her eyes and there were precious tears in them, that glittered under her light like jewels.

"He was twisted into a monster, no doubt you know that. I didn't know what that monster was capable of. I didn't know if Ajo was still inside."

"And now?"

"I believe, buried deep...there is a spark of hope. My son is there."

"But after all he's done—he's imprisoned you!"

"Had I not done the same to him, when I pushed him down a path that led to his ruin? Had I not hurt him deeply, the child I was supposed to love, when I kept him from finding happiness? He had every right to take his revenge. I must accept that, and my punishment. He is the king, and I must live with my guilt. "

Credence clenched her fists. "He killed Ma. Was that an acceptable punishment?"

"Lilith told you?"

"I heard him admit it."

The Queen shook her head. Her next words were careful, calculated.

"He was not without cause."

"There is never cause to kill."

"Your own actions prove otherwise. Careful, child, lest you condemn yourself."

"I was surviving. He killed out of vengeance."

"Or does he not see love and happiness as a necessity for survival? Do you not wish for happiness yourself? Isn't it important to you?"

"Not if it means taking an innocent life."

"Would you be so resolute, I wonder, if it had been Galeia who dealt the final blow instead?"

"You pity him."

"I am his mother. There will always be a place in my heart for him. I will hold no scorn if your decision leads to his end, but neither will I turn you away from something that could bring peace. You asked if he could love you, and I told you that love must be built. I should have added that Ajo feels for you. The promise he made dictates that. It may not be love. But it may be the beginning of it, and of all the paths we could choose to walk, love may be the most noble of them all."

The Queen placed her hand against the trunk.

"Can you forgive me, Credence? For the part I played in all of this?"

Credence swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Please say you might."

The Queen of the Wood, begging her forgiveness. That familiar tingle of power rose within Credence, but it was not the giddy, joyful kind. It was a numbing, sad emotion.

Credence opened her mouth. "I..I..."

"In time," the Queen amended. "I hope, in time."

"Thank you," Credence whispered, "for telling me the truth."

The sad smile on the Queen's lips trembled.

"My words have troubled you, and you desire solitude to make sense of them."

"I am grateful for your understanding."

"Please remember, I thought it was for the best."

"I will try."

"Until next time then."

As Credence left the Queen, she heard whispers from the beings in the tree. Unease rose among those who had listened to the Queen's story.

Credence felt all the more unsettled to have heard it, too. Lilith's story had been true, the Queen confirmed it. Credence was born to pay for Ma's sins.

In the Queen's own words, Ajo was a tragic figure. A love-sick boy who'd been rejected and scorned. Who was only searching for happiness.

Galeia hurt him. Galeia had twisted his love into fury. Galeia was to blame for his monstrous turn, and everything that followed, all his horrible deeds, bore the mark of her betrayal.

That didn't feel right.

Pa taught Credence that every act of good or bad had a single owner—the one who saw it through. It wasn't fair to blame Galeia for the Collector's misdeeds. Was it fair to blame her for his fall from grace, too?

And why, after everything he had done, did the Queen still urge Credence towards him?

It feels like a half-truth, Credence thought. What piece am I missing?