Chapter 35

I didn't start out wanting to exploit my customers for financial gain, and yet that's what I'm doing now. Maybe mom was right; I am relentless. If I could go back, would I? Tear my pink book apart with all the secrets and the lies. The one page I had from my pink book was in my hand. The date printed in my neat handwriting at the top, February 2019. That was a month ago.

"Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore-" Holly sang out loud with a Frozen microphone. The windows shook from the fierce, cold spring air. The March weather was chillier than last year. Georgia weather was so bipolar.

No. I wouldn't have done anything differently because we're all vying for a position at the top. The only question is, who will you knockdown to get there? Me, anyone. Or so I thought. It had been two days since the showdown with Lillian and her family. As you can see I was still working and so that met Lillian's parents hadn't told on me to SitForMe. It was a far greater kindness than I deserved for all the pain I put them through mainly Lillian and Julian.

I wondered how they were all doing. If Julian and Kennedy were still together or if she moved out temporarily. I still had all their numbers but I didn't dare call or text. Holly would be going to bed soon. I liked to start an hour early to get her into bed on time since it took her a while to fall asleep. The key was having rain sounds on and not looking at her when she slept. I liked Holly's family. They were sweet. Her parents were on the older side having Holly only three years ago in their forties. They were both successful operating a hotel-like business.

Holly fell asleep and I made sure she was nicely tucked in before double-checking everything in the house was in order. They recently moved here into this eight-bedroom of a castle. A bit much because there were only three of them but if you got it flaunt it. I suppose. The master bedroom was impressive with two walk-in closets, a bathroom with a separate shower and oval tub and a chandelier made the bathroom sparkle in an array of colors above. There were electric fireplaces in a few of the bedrooms and dining room. You could change the color of the fire with a remote and the temperature. It was an impressive house indeed.

"Thanks so much Mi'a." Mrs.Lake said as she and her husband entered the house. She was a tall, elegant woman with dark chocolate skin while Mr.Lake was short and quiet with dark skin. They seemed like a happy enough couple. I could never find anything about them to exploit.

I looked at the extravagant house from inside my car. The kind of house you dreamt of living in as a little kid who grew up living in one apartment to the next. The kind of house your mom promised you but never got. My phone rang in my pocket. A text message from Lillian. I read it slowly. She was asking to meet more so demanding at Grant Park. I texted back and started my car. Grant Park was located in a safe neighborhood but still it was ten pm at night. What would Lillian have to discuss at this time of hour that couldn't wait until tomorrow?

Traffic was light with few people driving. I made it to Grant Park half an hour later. The street lamps were on, illuminating the street and the park some. I parked behind Lillian's car and exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding. My hands were sweaty and I cleaned them with the stress relief hand sanitizer I got from Bath and Body Works. I inhaled the calming scent and allowed it to relieve me of some of my nerves. I reached into my bag taking out two things that I had been carrying since yesterday.

I sat on the swing beside Lillian who said nothing when she saw me. I pushed my feet against the ground and rode the wind. I wanted to say hi but it didn't feel right not after everything I had done. "Why?" Was the only warning I got before Lillian lunged out of her swing and tackled me out of mine. She pinned my arms down with her hands and laid on my stomach. Anyone who was walking around would have thought we were fooling around but this was no joke. "Why?" Lillian repeated. She brought my arms up with her hands before slamming them back into the ground. She repeated the action and asked the same question over and over.

I didn't know if she really wanted an answer or just to vent. "Why did you do it? Become my girlfriend. Get me to like my dad again. Not tell me about my real dad. Was it all a ruse? Did anything we shared was real or were you just looking, looking and hoping that you could find something on my family and take what you could from my parents? Was it really just about the money?" Lillian asked as she sat on top of me. I didn't answer and when she started crying I couldn't cry.

Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't have a right to. I hurt her on purpose. Why would I cry? Lillian collapsed on top of me as her face hit my breasts full force. Ouch. I let her lay there and cry. Her chest expanding and deflating with each heavy, sorrowful breath. I wanted to rub her back. Apologize for all the pain I caused her and her family. I wanted us together in New York. I wanted a nice house, with a job I liked and a son who I adopted. I wanted a fridge full of food that wasn't bought with food stamps and other things.

I didn't feel like I deserved any of that anymore. I didn't know who I was anymore. If this were a book or a movie in the beginning I say I was just a girl working hard to help pay for my grandma's medical expenses and bills. That when I started exploiting people it wasn't just for the money it was for her. When I had enough I would stop but then she died and instead of grieving I worked. I worked and went to school and I didn't stop. I looked for people to exploit and to take from. It wasn't personal. It was for the money. In the beginning I had morals and I cared about someone and now I had no morals and the people I cared about I hurt.

I didn't deserve a happy ending. I used my strength to push myself and Lillian up. I turned my body to the side gently laying her on her butt to sit. She wiped her eyes and looked at me. It was hard to see but just a shadow of her face. "I'll answer you now with nothing but honesty." I said.

"That's all I want." Lillian replied.

"I fell for you and that wasn't planned and that's the truth. On Valentine's Day your dad came and I turned him away that's the truth. I wish I could say something noble like he deserved it. He picked money over you but I just saw an opportunity to get money for myself. I'm no better than him or your mom who kept him from you because she was mad he picked money over you. I bargained with your mom for money for my silence and that's the truth."

"Was getting my dad and I to get along again just a sorry attempt at making amends? I have him so why would I need to meet my biological dad."

"No, I was trying to get you to forgive him before your dad came into the picture. Mr.Anderson is a good dad. That all happened before."

"A good dad. What would you know? He and my mom aren't talking and he might divorce her. If I, if I don't stay." Lillian whispered,

"What?" I asked confused.

"Him and my mom were arguing I overheard him say the only reason he wasn't taking the twins and leaving is because he didn't want to leave me with her. I want to go and stay with my biological dad but if I do he will leave my mom. I hate her but not enough that I want her to be alone, not enough that I want to never see the twins and my dad again. So in the end everyone gets what they want me away from my dad. There's no point if seeing him means destroying the family I've ever known."

"Don't be stupid. Don't be selfless being selfless has never benefitted anybody before. That's how I felt two days ago and now I look back and think if I hadn't been so selfish we'd still be together. I might still be in school and I might be a person that my grandma would still be proud of. You can have your family and have your biological dad. I can take you to meet him. I know where he works. It's the least I can do. Your parents don't have to know meet him and see for yourself if he's someone you want to get to know."

"I would say thank you but like you said it's the least you can do. Can you take me tomorrow?"

"I can. Twelve p.m as soon as it opens."

"Great. I'll meet you there." Lillian started to walk towards her car up the small grassy hill. My stomach clenched and my hand squeezed the papers in my pocket.

"Oreo wait!" I yelped, catching up to her. "Here these are for you." I handed her the check for twenty grand and the remaining page fro, my pink book. "I tore the book apart. I'm done with all of it and that's your money or give it back to your mom. I don't care."

"You didn't have to stop for me." Lillian sighed into the night. “I had my suspicions about you. I saw you the day of the fundraiser with that couple. They were cheating and you helped them get away with it. . .for a price. I didn’t say anything. So don’t stop on my behalf.:

"I did stop for you and for myself." I said looking at her and then up at the moon. It was getting chilly.

"Here. You earned it might as well keep it. My parents aren't gonna tell on you by the way. I convinced them not to." Lillian said, giving me the check back. She opened her mouth before I had the chance to respond, "Just do something good with it."