Chapter 31

I was kicked out of school. It was to be expected. I was also student loan-free with an extra five thousand dollars to keep my mouth shut. I also would not be able to transfer my credits to any institution in the U.S. So, I was now sitting at IHOP, my grandma's favorite restaurant, and silently telling her everything that had happened.

"You were always a good writer Mi'a. You weren't the nurse type. Go with writing." I imagined she say wearing the same purple shirt she always wears with blue, baggy jeans.

Writing, huh. I was always good at writing. I took my phone out looking for a specific email. There it was. An email asking if I wanted to apply to the School of the New York Times this summer. There were good schools in New York and lots of writing opportunities there. I did need a change of scenery. I clicked on the apply button.

I had just arrived home and Trick was already there eating a bag of Cheetos and playing some war game. He always said, 'I'm saving mankind." Uh-huh, yeah, sure Trick, right way. He didn't look up at me and I so I took the seat beside him on the couch.

"Wassup loser?" He greeted me looking at me from the corner of his eye.

He knew what he did, "You beat up that guy anyway."

"Yeah." He answered not even trying to deny it,

"Thanks." I said hugging him. I snatched the remote from his hands and threw it onto the carpet. "But don't disobey me again."

. . . . . . . . . .

A date. This is what my life has come to. It was Feb 28th. The last day of February and it fell on a beautiful Sunday. It had been about a week since I had gotten kicked out of school and applied to the SoNYT for a six-week semester in New York.

"I can't believe you dropped out of school, changed your major and applied to the SoNYT. Your like an inspiration to girls everywhere to follow their dreams and say fuck you to society and your my girlfriend." Lillian boasted.

I might have not told her everything that had occurred in the past few days. We were sitting across the street from the Atlanta Zoo. I had ordered a turkey sandwich and iced coffee and Lillian an everything bagel and milkshake at a coffeehouse called Grant Park. It was a nice neighborhood with a park, a nearby coffeehouse, and the zoo all conveniently located for those who could afford it.

I babysat for two families in the neighborhood and they were both pretty decent families. "Well, I don't know about all of that. I have to wait another two weeks to hear back and then I still need to win the scholarship to be able to afford to go. It's eight thousand dollars." I said although I had more than twenty grand in the bank right now. I wasn't going to spend it on the SoNYT. It was an amazing opportunity and to go to New York was a dream but for eight grand. I really needed that scholarship.

"I'm sure you'll get it bae! You're brilliant." Lillian assured me as we threw our empty containers away. We weren't going to the zoo today. It was a pretty spontaneous date. As in Lillian texted me two hours ago and said let's go on a date. "I could help you if you didn't get the scholarship. I have some money saved up and-"

"I am not taking my girlfriend's money." Her mom's money was another matter. "But thanks for the offer. What are your plans this summer?"

"To follow my girlfriend whether she is."

"Lillian, you don't need to be with me. You can have your own thing going on." I said a bit annoyed. A little more so at myself than with her. I never had a girlfriend before and the first one that I got I blackmailed her mama. I should just tell her the truth.

"Well fine then. Be that way."Lillian mumbled as she walked further ahead without me.

Or I could argue with her, let her break up with me, and be done with it. Who needs a relationship? Or love and affection? I lived this long without affection. I wasn't missing much. I put a hand to my cocoa butter-covered lips. My lips silently said they weren't going another two years without being kissed.

"I just meant that if you want to go to New York. Come for me but also to maybe promote your fashion or see what you can do to get in front of the right people." I suggested to Lillian. She stopped walking and moved her legs this way and that.

"I guess you're right," She whispered. "Can you imagine me and you in New York, together. We could do whatever we wanted."

"You mean like we're doing now." I responded, extending my hand to her paler one to hold. She grabbed ahold of it and leaned her head onto my upper limb.

"Yeah, but I feel like in New York it would be better. No mom and dad or older siblings or younger for me. It'll just be we. Could you imagine?"

I rub my thumb against the front of Lillian's hand before saying, "I can."

I dropped Lillian off at home before heading to my next job- the Watson's. They were one of my top favorite families. That's how amazing they were. They hit all the bullet points on my list of what I looked for in a family. They always had food for me, their kid took a nap and there was only one of her. Which is why even though they paid the regular amount of money I didn't mind babysitting for them.

Gabe, short for Gabrielle, was the sweetest one-year-old going on two. She looked like her mom but had her dad's puffy cheeks and artistic abilities. I remember first meeting Gabe. She was as adorable as she was now and could only crawl. She didn't understand much and liked staring out her windows at people. Gabe was now walking perfectly and understood most things such as naptime and walk time. She was a stalker though and loved to look at people from her bedroom window.

A few people would see us and they would just wave back at the little lady. I would try to hide because a grown woman looking at people all day wasn't as cute as a baby doing it. Gabe's mom Florence and dad Mike were also sweethearts. "The chicken tenders are in the fridge Mi'a. Help yourself. Gabe's plate is already done and is right here," Florence instructed me. This wasn't my first time at the Watson's new house but Florence being Florence loved to give me reminders. She was such a doll. I found it cute and annoying.

"Got it." I answered. Florence went to finish getting ready for her dinner date with Mike. Mike was standing by the door already ready. Of course, it would be the female that was preventing the holdup.

Mike looked snazzy in his blue dress-up shirt and dark blue slacks. He made the outfit work with his dark, brown hair and his nerdy charm. I liked Mike. He was always nice, calm, and collected. I didn't spend much time with dads as I did moms and sometimes it felt weird being around Mike. It could also do with the fact that he was handsomely dorky. He was a coder for something and had a vast amount of knowledge on several topics.

Florence came down the stairs in a simple, black dress and a little bit of jewelry looking equally as attractive as her husband. Is it weird that I'm attracted to them both? Florence was nice, talkative, and eccentric while Mike was even-tempered, nice, and quiet. They fit perfectly.

"We're going to Wacky Betty's, if you need anything Mi'a. " Dustin said as he opened the door for his charming wife.

"Understood. Have a nice night." I looked down at Gabe and asked her if she wanted to color. She shook her head yes. I brought down some art supply that was in a clear container and there were already several pieces of paper pulled out. I drew Gabe's family as stick figures of course and their bunny wasn't half bad looking. The smooth crayon marker melted into the thin, white paper. A bunny with brown ears and legs was drawn eating a carrot in grass.

Gabe did her own special touch and scribbled on top of my artwork with a green marker. I stood up and placed the picture on the fridge. "Hey Gabe. Come look." I said motioning her over. She looked at me as if she was deciding if she wanted to or not. In the end, she decided to and I bent down to point to our artwork on the refrigerator. Gabe oohed and aahed at it before moving onto something new.

The Watson's new house was bigger and nicer than their last apartment. They had a cabinet to store their mini-fridge, extra food, and spices. A nice front and back yard. Their neighbors weren't nosey. . .like the last ones and it was a spacious enough neighborhood to take a walk-in. "How about a walk Gabe?"

She nodded her head yes. I went to the door and Gabe passed me her shoes. She sat in between my legs so I could put them on her feet. I then grabbed our water bottles and my bag. I locked the door and the stroller was already set up on the porch. It was lovely weather for a walk with the sun shining high and yet the breeze was strong. I listened to music and Gabe enjoyed the ride. We passed by nice, colorful houses, people walking dogs-Gabe's favorite and construction workers.

As I walked Gabe I imagined my life five, ten years from now. Would I be living in such a nice neighborhood with such polite, quaint neighbors? Or would I be living in the same rough neighborhood with gunshots and crazy people? What kind of job would I have? Lawyer, doctor, owner of my own business? The type of careers that allowed the people I babysat for to live so comfortably. I couldn't imagine myself being any of those things. I had over twenty grand in the bank and no idea what to do next. I wanted to go to New York for the SoNYT but that was only one option if I didn't get accepted then what?

"What do I do Gabe?" I asked her. She looked at me and kicked out her feet. "Yeah, it's about dinnertime." The walk back to Gabe's house was short and once we were inside I took off Gabe's shoes and my own. I heated up our food and put The Bee Movie on for us to watch. Gabe loved the movie so much I had to point to her food every five minutes to remind her to eat. It was a good movie.

"So you're just going to work us to death?" Berry in the movie asked.

"We'll sure try,"

I laughed and then thought about my grandma. We got into it so much about her working hard and just giving her money away to Trick, or Brayden, and our mother. "You're going to work until the day you die." That is what I often said to her as a joke. Then one day it wasn't a joke. It had become a fact. My grandma worked and worked to give and give and then she had a stroke and died.

My grandma was an inspiration to me. I worked hard for what I earned. I valued what I have. Family meant a lot to me but I also learned a lot from her. I wouldn't give everything away and have nothing to show for it in the end. I definitely wouldn't be working a minimum wage paying job and struggle to make ends meet. No, I couldn't. That couldn't be my future.

I also couldn't be my mom who barely worked and so was broke every month. She lived paycheck to paycheck. She always said she wanted more and yet she never did anything to get more. To say I was scared that I would end up like either of them was an understatement. Broke, tired, and miserable. I finished my parmesan chicken and looked at my empty plate. That couldn't be my life.