Chapter Sixteen

"The dumb shit you do. Why? Just why? You like being in abusive relationships. You like drama. There's no other reason as to why you constantly and might I add consistently stay in toxic relationships." I lectured my sister after her boyfriend had left. Boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend, because if you think she would dump him just for this, you'd be wrong. This is like foreplay for Talia. The scarier a situation, the better. Me? I'm not so much of a thrill-seeker.

"Man, at least I have relationships Mi'a. When was the last time you been with anyone?" Talia concluded as she went into her room.

When was the last time I was in a relationship? High school? Middle? No, it was high school. There was a guy and a fair. Some second base I might have regretted afterward. I could easily say I didn't do relationships, but if I'm honest, people didn't do me. I didn't know why. I'm good-looking, nice enough, have my own cash, and drama-free minus my work life. Yet, I wasn't the one pulling girls or guys. Nope. It could have something to do with the fact that I'm not on social media as my other age-appropriate counterparts or using words like counterparts. I also had a hard time identifying girls who liked girls.

My sister says I have a type- straight, girly-girls. I guess she wasn't a hundred percent wrong. She didn't need to know that, though. She also didn't need to know I wanted a relationship. I wanted someone to love and to have in my corner. It wasn't easy being me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. If you saw me, you'd see a black girl with an afro first, then you'd notice my casual attire, and if you still were just standing awkwardly, creepily around, you see that I try to portray confidence, a sure of myself and life decisions kind of aura.

I did a pretty good job, too, because it's how my family sees me, and they’re supposed to be the people that know me the best and yet. I touch my face in the mirror. This mask fools them. This mask fools them clear of makeup and guilt. This mask has become permanent.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Class, today we discuss importance. What is important to you? What was important during Maslow's era do you believe is still important today?" Ms.Patterson asked us on a stormy Wednesday. The weather outside is frightful, become not a student wants to talk. So the teacher just stands around and sulks. The weather outside is frightful.

I look around the class at the bored physiognomy of my peers. A few sitting in the back with me are on their laptops pretending to do work. One student is on Netflix watching 13 reasons why. Okay. The clock behind Ms.Patterson is a reminder of the mere seconds that are passing. Tick. Tick. Tick. I roll my eyes and look at the time. I can't read a regular clock. I may not be a social media Gen Z baby, but I was still a Gen Z baby. One thirty. February the seventh. It had been almost ten days since the incident with Talia's boyfriend, and as predicted, he was back. Surprise, surprise. Today was just a regular day, but tomorrow, I was babysitting for the Andersons at some kind of fundraising gala. It was at their house, and some other parents would be bringing kids so, it would be two other SitForMe sitters and me. Gosh, I hope Aurora wasn't there. I would be spending a night because Lilian's birthday was the next day, and her parents were leaving for the weekend for "adult time" They would return Monday morning, and I'd go to school from there.

My math class wasn't until twelve, and I made sure to take it easy on picking up papers this week. I would be paid four hundred for overnight fees and two hundred a day for watching everyone. So one thousand dollars and food money would be left plus gas money so that we could all go to the movies, mall, and arcade. It sounded like a lot for one sitter, but Lillian could only invite three guests, and they all had to have cars and parents’ permission. Lillian was turning seventeen, so her parents agreed she could go out on her own, but she had to be home by dark, and if her friends were staying, there was to be no drugs or alcohol. The twins were my primary responsibility and just ensuring their parents Lillian was home and their house intact.

"Okay. So what are we doing after this?" Alex purred as she painted her nails, an eye aching red.

"I don't know about you, but I have work. It's an all-weekend shift." I replied, writing the pages I needed to read in my psychology book down in my planner.

"Ugh, ya work too much."

"Ugh, pay me money then. How are things with your new bae?"

Alex's face instantly shifted, "Amazing! He's so everything. I want him to meet my parents, but he doesn't want to. He's all like meeting parents; who does that anymore? And I'm like anyone who’s worth introducing. Then he was like, I love you. And I was like stunned I love you. Then he said then that should be enough. And I was like, okay. We had breathtaking sex and ate Chick-fil-A. Tell me we're not#goals?"

I looked at Alex's love-stricken face wanting to barf, but because I was such a good friend, "Ohh yes, #goals."