Chapter Ten

I swiped an almond Hershey from the dining room dish before letting Melody out to use the bathroom. She did her business and I wiped her paws with the towel that was at the bottom of the stairs. Melody walked to her food bowl and I followed her into the kitchen. On the counter was a knife covered in green leaves. I peered closer. Broccoli. There was a bottle of ranch out as well. I placed the ranch back into the fridge and cleaned the knife. Ranch and broccoli. That brought back memories of when I was in middle school trying to lose my belly fat and thighs. It was carrots and ranch for me though.

Lillian came into the kitchen with a now empty plate. I turned away from her, putting the knife in it's rightful drawer. Grrr! I placed a hand on my stomach instinctively. Was that you? I thought to my stomach. No, but I did need to eat. Grrrr! This time I knew for sure it hadn't come from me. Lillian was standing right behind sipping from a cup of clear water. Her stomach growling in protest.

I should have known. Skipping meals, the unusual meanness, standing in the mirror. "Lillian are you-" I paused and she looked at me with a quizzical expression. Weight was such a sensitive topic. I knew that more than anyone. I had been battling thick thighs and belly fat for years with on and off diets and exercise. It took me a long time to accept that being on the thicker side just ran in my family and as long as I ate right I was okay.

Lillian was a gorgeous young woman. She wasn't fat and was at least twenty pounds lighter than me. I wasn't fat but I was thick and kept my weight under control with yoga and better eating. Lillian looked like she ate well and had no belly fat or excess meat on her limbs. I would have never thought she was worried about her looks. "You're a beautiful, young woman who is getting older. It's okay for your body to be changing. It's not okay not to eat. You had some veggies so have a slice of pizza and it's not too unhealthy of a meal."

Lillian blushed and looked at the white-colored floor. Her ears turning a bright red at the tips. I handed her a single slice of pizza and one for myself as well. I bit into mine and Lillian mimicked my actions licking the grease from her lips. When Lillian finished her pizza I breathed a little easier. It was a tough world for girls to act a certain way, be a certain way and to look a certain way. There were fewer role models telling girls that it was okay to like sports, be brave and outspoken and that fat was not always bad. Today I just might have helped one of those girls who needed a role model.

I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out ~

Mindy Kaling.

I once read that in a book, can't remember which book but at the time I remember thinking, "So true! So that's why I give two fucks about everyone else's problems. I got my own -ish to deal with." I know what you're thinking, "Bullshit. Didn't she just help someone last night?"

Yeah, I did but come on I'm not a psychopath. My grandma believed in helping everyone while she complained about being tired of helping everyone.

"Ugh, Amaya is a fucking psycho. How she going to charge me for child support when I'm the main parent watching Amarah. I should be charging her and that's what I'ma do if she tries this shit!" Bryant yelled Thursday afternoon. It was twelve pm and I couldn't even enjoy lazing about in bed until two.

I got up stretching my long limbs. A repercussion of sleeping until twelve o'clock. Today's outfit was a dark purple shirt with some black Nike leggings and my purple Nike hoodie. I loved leggings, Nike and PINK. A deep yawn reminded me that I needed to brush my teeth. I did my morning routine moving from my bathroom to my bedroom consistently.

"Can I borrow your blue and white PINK hoodie?" Talia asked, coming into my room unannounced.

"Well, you never-"

"Ok, got it. Bye!" Talia interrupted after she grabbed my hoodie from my closet. I swear what's the point of me buying stuff when she's going to end up wearing it more than I do. Older sisters, what are you going to do?

In the kitchen Bryant was still talking about his baby mama Amaya. Amaya was three years younger than Bryant and every bit immature. She grew up considerably after having Amarah but didn't see her daughter often. Bryant was Amarah's main parent and took care of her with the occasional free babysitting from Talia and I. I didn't think he should have to pay child support either but getting a lawyer, hella expensive.

"What do you think Mi'a?" Bryant asked me as I made myself a strawberry and banana smoothie.

"Fight her. You are Amarah's primary care provider. Any court can see that. You should gather receipts, statements from family and such to prove it." I advised my eldest brother. Forget nursing school. I should be a lawyer but I hate arguing with people. I get so tired.

"Facts. That's what I'ma do." Bryant agreed before leaving the kitchen. Talia turned her head around the corner to make sure he had left before adding her two cents.

"You know he ain't going to do it. He still loves his baby mama. He just posted a picture of him, Amarah and Amaya from Christmas." Talia nagged waving her McDonald's breakfast sandwich around.

"Even if he does love his baby mama still and not saying he does. Bryant loves his money more. I think if Amaya tries to take him to court he going to fight her." I reasoned.

"We'll see. I got to get to work. They was expecting me at ten." Talia said, gathering her Target badge.

I looked at the oven clock. "It's past one Talia." I said giving her a dumb look.

"I know. Mhm! They tried it, bet you they won't put me on the morning shift again. They lucky I'm showing up now." Talia said popping her lips and fixing her soft, short ponytail. I bet you five bucks she won't have her job when she gets back.

I looked into the fridge again. There was a little bit of organic vegetables left and some fish nobody felt like eating. I needed to go shopping. It was easier said than done when one didn't have a car. Bryant was the one who mainly did the shopping for two reasons. One, his girlfriend Courtney let him use her car and two, he received food stamps.

I sat on the living room couch browsing at cars. I wanted a yellow car but there weren't too many available for a good price. What was my price range? I went to my Bank of America app on my phone typing in my password. I had ten grand saved up and another fifteen grand in my checking account. I didn't want to spend no more than five grand on a car. I looked through a couple of websites Cargurus, Carvana, and I hadn't found a car yet that was within my budget and cute.

I didn't need a fancy car but I did want to be proud to drive it. Wait. . .don't I know. . . I ran to my room and reached into my blue PINK bag. I pulled out a tiny, pink notebook. It held all the names, numbers and information on my 'special' babysitting clients. I could remember one or two families but when I started receiving more side money from more families I started forgetting why I was taking money from certain families. I then started writing it down in the memo app on my phone before I transferred the information to my little, pink notebook. No, electronic trail.