XXXIII

It was strange, like you were just a consciousness living in a shell. A shell you couldn't control but kept you trapped.

It was hard to think. Everything was just so hazy. It was like there was a cloud over your entire body, plugs in your ears like you were on an airplane. You were floating, your limbs light and thoughts gone.

Sometimes there was pressure. Pressure on your numb fingers, pressure on your side, pressure on your face. The weight varied but, in some part of your foggy mind, you knew it was a comforting weight.

Slowly, it was like your consciousness merged back with your body. A connection was made between your soul and your brain and you felt your nerves light up. Feeling spread across your body once more, but now you felt weighted instead of light.

It was still hard to move but the plugs were removed from your ears and the fog drifted away.

-

It was like waking up from a long dream when you opened your eyes. Your vision was bleary and and movements sluggish.

A deep breath and a couple blinks allowed you to gather yourself enough to realize that you were in a hospital bed and Ariel was curled up on an uncomfortable plastic chair right by your side.

He was draped weirdly, legs hanging over the arm while his body twisted enough to keep his head on the back. His wings were spread out to keep them from being crushed which led to one being over the other arm and the other near his head.

It was so awkward you couldn't help but let out a low, raspy chuckle, but that seemed to be enough to have Ariel's eyes snap wide open. His head jerked up with shock and he looked at you with eyes so wide you couldn't see his eyelids.

"Hey angel." Your voice dragged oddly and cracked painfully, but you still managed to muster a small smile.

Ariel lurched towards you, his hands coming to cup your face as he practically leaned on top of you. His fairy wings fluttered wildly and his dark brown eyes were covered in a glassy sheen.

"You're awake." He whispered.

"Yeah." You coughed. "It kinda sucks right now."

His head dropped to your collarbone, his hands to your shoulders. "Don't joke right now. Please... just not right now." His voice cracked and it was then you realized the tears dripping down your chest.

The heaviness in your hand didn't stop you from lifting it so you could rest it against his neck, your fingertips lightly drawing circles on his nape. "Come on angel, I'm right here. I'm okay."

"No," he choked out. "You're not, and you haven't been for the past two months."

You thought your heart stopped in your chest right then and there. Two months? TWO MONTHS?! It was like a shock to your system.

Ariel raised his head, tears streaking down his cheeks, his eyes rimmed red. "It was bad [Y/n]. It was so bad. It took a week before the doctors were sure you would push through and even then they didn't know when you would wake up!"

His voice was hysterical and it made your own eyes teary. "I'm sorry."

"I-" He sighed, sniffling when he couldn't think of something to say. "I don't even know- I don't know how to respond to an apology."

"I should've paid more attention to what was happening on the platform." When Ariel didn't respond you tried something else. "How is... everyone? Did it all turn out okay?"

Ariel finally leaned back, wiping the tears from his face. "Aether's been a complete wreck. His phantom pain acted up again and it took a while to get him to let me administer the injection because he wanted you to do it." Ariel took another breath. "He's been coming to the hospital everyday to lay by your side. He wanted you to know that he was there so you didn't feel so alone."

The tears finally fell from your eyes and you took a gasping breath. Your bandaged hands covered your face as you cried. "I hurt him." Your scratchy throat rubbed uncomfortably. "He already lost Lumine and then I do this stupid shit?"

"Don't do that." Ariel shook his head. His fingers gently intertwine with your own, lowering them from your face.

"Do what?" Your voice cracked harshly. "Call myself stupid because I nearly died trying to be some fucking hero? Chasing some adventure dream? I nearly left Aether, I nearly left you because... because... I don't fucking know!"

Your breathing grew more shallow as you cried, your hands falling limply to your sides. Ariel leaned in, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest. "Breath [Y/n], breath."

Your angel's head on your chest as you layed there, providing that comforting weight you remembered from when you were floating, sleeping, allowed you to focus, to ground yourself. You closed your eyes and took Ariel's advice, doing everything you could to focus on your breathing. Counting and gripping the bed sheets eventually led to your steading breath, your throat raw.

"You should've said more about what was going to happen on the platform, especially to me." Ariel whispered against your chest. "I didn't know the platform would break, that you would fall. That's all true. But you got lucky and now you can make up for it by not doing anymore stupid shit."

"Just do better? Is that all the advice you got for me angel?"

"That's all I got." Ariel chuckles weakly and so do you.

"Then I'll take it to heart."

Ariel scoffed. "I sure hope you will."

-

The next morning you were now sitting up, a little cup of sunsettiasauce in one hand and a spoon in the other. Ariel never left but when the night check came, you got a little laugh when you spooked the nurse looking over your monitors.

That led to a night visit from your doctor and a lot of talking. He explained to you the many, many bones you broke when you hit the water, the internal bleeding, and the serrated fingers. The damage was so severe it took a lot of constant care for the doctor to finally declare that you would physically heal.

He had smiled, called you lucky and told you to go to sleep again so you would be awake enough to surprise the golden boy (Aether) that he knew would come tomorrow to cuddle as he had been since doc gave permission for him to do so.

You thanked him for taking care of you and swiftly passed out. That's what led to this morning where you were anxiously swirling your sunsettiasauce waiting for Aether to show up.

Your head snapped up when the door creaked open and Aether slid in. His hair was messy and unbrushed, not even in his usual braid, eyes with heavy bags, and limps practically dragging.

It was actually Paimon who noticed you first. The little fairy floated behind Aether and screamed when she saw you sitting there, hutchbacked over your tiny cup. Aether's head looked up in a similar fashion to Ariel, eyes wide and glassy.

You raised your hand and waved, a kinda comforting (very dry) smile on your lips. "Hey kid."

Aether was locked in place, tears slowly dripping down his face. You expected him to hug you so now that he was just standing there, you didn't know what to do. You glance over to Ariel but the lazy angel was leaning across two chairs now. You put your sauce to the side and hold your arms out.

"Aether? I can't really get outta bed so you gotta come over here, please."

Aether slowly walked over, his movements robotic as he sat on the bed and leaned into you. One arm went around his shoulders, the other cupping his head to tuck it in the corner of your neck. Just like with Ariel, tears dripping down your neck, but unlike Ariel, Aether was limp, not hugging you back.

You leaned close to his ear and whispered. "Aether? Are you okay, hun?"

"You're awake." He mumbled to the skin of your neck.

"I'm awake."

"Truly?"

"As true as the rising moon and setting sun." You say a little dramatically.

To your satisfaction, Aether let out a little scoff and finally wrapped his arms around your waist. "That was bad."

You leaned your head against his own. "Sorry."

The two of you sat in silence for a while. Paimon hovered around where Ariel laid but for now you put your attention on Aether. You hand switched from trailing up and down his spine, brushing through his hair, and rubbing his shoulder blades.

"I thought you were gonna die." Aether muttered. You paused in your movements. "I saw your body and I thought you weren't going to make it."

Aether pulled back, taking off his gloves. You were confused for only a moment until his hand cupped your cheeks and he pressed his forehead against your own. "I thought I was going to lose you. I don't know what I would've done if I did."

His hands went from your cheeks to your neck, the cool of his fingers somewhat soothing your rough throat. "I can't- I don't- I-" Aether takes a shuddering breath. "You're my Polaris, my guiding star. I want you by my side."

You hug him closer, planting a kiss on his forehead and burying your face in his hair. "I'm so sorry."

"Just don't be stupid anymore?"

You chuckled wetly. "I think you've been hanging around Ariel a little too much these past two months. I already got the talk from him."

"Good. You deserve it." He lightly pushed your shoulder. "You scared me."

You didn't want to promise. Promising would inevitably turn out badly. Promising was practically a prediction for bad things to come. But hearing Aether's defeated voice, you could help but swear. "I promise I won't do anything so reckless again."

"I'm holding you to that."

You kiss his forehead once more. "I expect you to."

-

Xiao's reaction was exactly as you expected.

You were leaning back on your hospital bed, quietly speaking to Aether who was curled into your side and Ariel who had propped his feet up on the edge of your bed.

He had slammed the door open, an angry scowl on his face and his arms crossed. Your eyes were the ones wide with shock this time.

You laugh nervously. "Heeeey Xiao. Wassup?"

"'What's up?' you say? You mortals are all so reckless!" He huffed and crossed his arms. "You do not think! No thought went through your mind! Do you think you are indestructible? Or are you just stupid?"

"Damn." You muttered as Xiao went on.

"And then you end up in the hospital! You frightened us, frightened your family! The winds have been restless! I have never been more- more- aggravated!"

"Xiao?" You stopped his rant. His face was red with anger or embarrassment, you could tell, and his hands were clenched. "Thank you for worrying about me. I appreciate it."

"Worrying..." Xiao scoffed, his face turning ever so slightly redder. "Just heal."

The yaksha disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"That went better than expected."

-

The last one on the list to visit you was Jinfeng.

In her red ensemble she stood in stark contrast to the white of the hospital, and she somehow managed to look regal sitting in a hard, plastic chair. Her hair was in a neat, low bun and gold rings were stacked on her slim, tan fingers that tapped against each other as she sat in silence.

At some point you couldn't take it anymore. "Soooo, you turn into a giant nine - headed phoenix."

A smile tilts her crimson lips. "Yes. I do." Jinfeng sighed and crossed her legs. "I'm an adeptus, an illuminated beast called a Jiu Feng."

"I didn't know about the Jiu Feng."

Jinfeng sighs again and it was then you noticed the spark of sadness in her eyes. "I'm not surprised."

You felt something churn in your stomach. "You don't gotta explain your sad backstory or anything."

"No, it's alright. It would actually be nice to have one normal person know this story." You were quiet as Jinfeng stopped talking. You could tell from the way her eyes drifted that she was thinking.

"The Jiu Feng were a neutral race. A small but happy population. For the most part we were left alone but occasionally a god would come to us." Jinfeng's eyes drifted to the wall. "We had a special talent, the ability to perceive the future. It was cultivated within our culture and spread to dream reading, special meditation techniques to grow your vision ability, herb farms, and such. We word got around to the gods of Teyvat that there were creatures who could see snippets of the future. It was... appealing."

"They came to you for guidance?"

Jinfeng nodded. "They asked about the coming crop seasons, advice with herbs, questions about dreams they had. For the most part it was a very commensalistic relationship. That is, until the archon war.

Like I said, we were a very neutral race. We chose not to participate in the war, not fighting for a seat as an archon and giving no god any advice. But so many would climb our mountains, beg to hear about the strategies of others, wanting us to know who would attack them and when, if they would win or lose, and so on and so forth."

Jinfeng went silent again. She leaned back in her chair and her hand cupped her other, a long nail tracing her veins. "One day, a god who was upset we refused her, accused us, very publically, of betraying our proclamation of neutrality. She had said that she witnessed us telling a god the outcome of a battle he would soon engage in, as well as giving the little strategic advice we knew.

The other gods got angry, absolutely furious that we would go back on our word to remain neutral, joined forces and attacked. We were not fighters, not tacticians nor inventors. We were fortune tellers, farmers. We stood no chance.

I was young then, small, and I snuck away in the heat of battle. Soon after, I was found by Lord Morax and I agreed to sign the contract, becoming an adeptus. I fought for him, killed for him, and protected this country. Now without his presence."

"So now, you are the last Jiu Feng?" I ask hesitantly.

"I am."

"I would give my condolences but I feel you're not one who would take well to receiving them."

Jinfeng's lips quirk and her eyes sparkle. "I'm not." Her head tilted, not unlike a bird you realized. "You're quite good at reading people."

You laugh. "You think?"

"Like recognizes like."

-

Visiting hours were over. Aether had been clingy, not wanting to leave. He had confessed that being alone in the inn was uncomfortable. Paimon was there but she didn't give him the same kind of comfort you, or even Ariel did, and with Ariel always at the hospital (being able to get away with it because he's invisible) he was left alone.

You convinced Ariel to go back to the inn with Aether (and to get some rest in a proper bed, not a hospital chair) leaving you alone in your hospital room.

You had no problem being alone, even if it was dark, because you knew that after the two left you'd be going straight to sleep, and that's what you did.

Nonetheless, you were a light sleeper, so when the sounds of a portal and a bright blue light lit up your room, you were roused.

Your eyes fluttered open only to see the Abyss Princess herself sitting neatly on the chair next to your bed, shrouded by darkness with a pyro abyss hovering by her side.

She stared at you emotionlessly. "I think it's high time we had a chat, just us siblings."