XXV

It was a completely encompassing, surrounding darkness. You felt it gather around your body, trapping your limbs in their uncomfortable spread position, arms twisted and legs bent terribly. You couldn't see, the blackness heavily shadowing your eyes, but you could still feel the pain of your broken bones and bloody fingers. Heavy syrup coated your body and a disgustingly metallic smell filled your nostrils, burning them to the point tears gathered in the corners of your eyes, slowly sliding down your bloody cheek.

You wished you could move, wished you could drag yourself away from this nothing, this never-ending nothing, but not even your fingers, would twitch, and you laid there with stilted breathing. Muffled noises entered your ears, it sounded like conversation but it could hardly be heard with the ringing in your own ears.

You felt a hand cup your cheek, uncomfortably warm compared to the chill of your dying body. They were speaking to you now, the other hand cupping your face and trying to get you to open your eyes. Despite the muffling and the ringing, you could hear their voice become steadily more frantic the longer you didn't respond.

You wanted to respond, truly, but a deep-seated apathy came over you, like a blanket weighing down your already unmoving limbs. Your brain felt fuzzy and you couldn't care to even open your eyes and let the frantic person now cradling you to their body know that you were still alive. With the movement to that person's chest, you slowly realized a gush of blood had trickled down your throat, matting your already crumpled clothes, the one holding onto you let out a pathetic scream and gripped your body tighter.

You noticed your breathing was slowing down, short breaths became short and farther apart. You were hanging on by a string now, you could tell. It was odd to be so acutely aware of the way you were dying, to understand every last breath taken and every feeling of calm, no, resignation, to your own death. It almost scared you, it definitely would've if you felt anything anymore, but both your emotions and the pain in your body was disappearing.

The last thing you heard was a desperate cry.

-

You woke up, eyes widened frantically as something constricted your throat, a weight settled heavily right on the center. After a few seconds, it passed and you took a deep, distraught, breath. Sitting up in your bed at Wangshu Inn, you noticed the window was open and the curtain fluttered in the breeze, revealing scatterings of stars against the inky black sky.

Getting up out of bed you raced, quietly as possible, out of the room to the balcony. Your room felt restricting, which is the last thing you wanted to feel after that dream, and sitting in the highest balcony while looking at the vast, beautiful sky would be a good way to do that.

Creeping through the empty hallways of the inn, you were, not for the first time, dreaded by its silence. The stillness sank into your bones, creating a deafening sense of unease that had you speeding up to get to your destination. You felt like a kid running up the stairs after turning off the light when you finally got to the balcony, escaping the 'monster' following you in the dark.

The balcony was open, exactly as you hoped it would be, looking over the road that led to and from the inn, the moonlight shining on the worn wood. You rested against the railing, letting your head fall down to lean on your forearms as you breathed deeply, settling the shaking of your bones and heavy heart rates.

It happened again, another terrifyingly realistic dream. A shiver racked your spine as you recalled every detail you could remember, and remember it you could. In perfect clarity you could recall every drop of blood down your throat and every failed attempt to twitch your remaining fingers. Now that you were awake, and could think properly, that previous apathy from your dream washed away and you were left with fear.

If you were under the impressions that these were in fact visions and not stress dreams, then does that mean you would be dying?

The thought scared you greatly. As much as you would like to feel like a badass and say 'I don't fear death! I laugh in the face of death!', the truth is you were. The fear of the pain, of leaving behind your loved ones, the agonizing unknown of the other side. Reincarnating in Genshin seemed like a miracle, a once in a lifetime thing given Ariel's first impression of your being here, more specifically that you weren't supposed to be here.

If that's true that means that you were supposed to go somewhere else at your untimely death, and that frightened you, because it meant that if you died in this world, you would not be sent on a cool dimension traveling life, but instead to the unknown afterlife.

You took another deep breath. You were rambling in your head now, thinking about things that were very important, but you couldn't be sure they were to be brought to fruition. But the doubt still tingled in the back of your mind. Though the first dream seemed so abnormally terrifying and disgusting, this one was more real, and more importantly, you felt it.

It was in these spiraling thoughts that Xiao found you, shocking your already worn system. The guardian yaksha appeared by your side, stoic as ever with a strange look in his eyes. The two of you stood there, silent, for how long? You couldn't tell.

You broke the silence first. "Taking a midnight stroll Adeptus Xiao?" Of course with something stupid.

He scoffed. "Adepti don't need such small comforts. I am on duty, and I saw you looking distressed."

"How sweet." You murmured, still leaning on your forearms.

He rolled his eyes and you couldn't help a twitching smile. "I simply recognized you from when you and your traveler friend came to inform me of Rex Lapis' demise."

"A lovely first meeting if I do say so myself."

"Was it the first though?"

You finally stood from your lean basically across the railing to look Xiao in the eyes. "What do you mean?"

"On your first departure from Wangshu Inn, you waved to me, and the night before, you left almond tofu on my table along with a prayer for peace and happiness." Xiao's eyes squinted with confusion, brows furrowed alongside.

"Yes I did." You confirmed.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you do such a thing?"

You sighed. "I had heard that the guardian yaksha protects Wangshu Inn, and has protected Liyue for even longer. I got word that you enjoyed almond tofu so I made some and sent along a little prayer of well wishes."

Xiao looked exasperated at your explanation from the little movement of his facial features you could pick up on. "Yes I understand that part, but why?"

You shrugged, looking him dead in the eye. You were a little too tired to tease or argue with Xiao, as much as you wanted to, so you simply said, "Because I think you deserve it."

Xiao's face slackened. "Deserve it."

You waved your hand around in the darkness. "Peace, happiness, comforts, nice books, friends, good food, rest, whatever else that's nice I don't know. I just think you deserve much more than you have, especially for protecting this country as long as you have."

"An adeptus doesn't require-"

"Such comforts?" Xiao nods. "You might not necessarily need it, or maybe you don't want it, but you definitely deserve it."

"Oh."

And that was the last thing said for a little while. Xiao was a silent, protective comfort, one that calmed the nerves in your system and chased away the spiraling thoughts. You knew you'd be safe with Xiao. He, as a guardian of the people, wouldn't let you die should trouble find you right now, and maybe that was selfish of you to think about, but it did help clear your head.

It was Xiao who broke the silence this time. "Why did you come to the balcony tonight?" His voice was quiet, as if there was someone sleeping close by and he didn't want to wake him up, but not quite whispering.

"I had a nightmare." It could hurt to tell him you figured. Xiao was probably experienced with nightmares himself and would understand your need to get air.

"About?"

You lip twitched upwards. "Pushy."

"Apologies." Xiao's cheeks were tinted pink.

You chuckled. "No, I'm kidding." You thought for a moment about how to articulate it, but the easiest answer in this case was the most direct one. "It was my death, I think."

"And it frightened you?"

"Very much so."

"I understand." You turned from your star gazing to see true sympathy in Xiao's eyes, a frown settled on his lips.

Knowing how terrible his backstory was, you didn't doubt that Xiao had dreams about his death. Whether they were dreams of getting killed by his previous master, getting destroyed by an enemy, finally succumbing to his karma like the other yakshas, or in a thousand other ways, it pained your heart to think about his dreams, or nightmares rather.

"Thank you." You smiled at him, even if it was a tired, small smile. "You're very kind."

Xiao stayed silent at that, and for the rest of the night, the two of you sat in that comfortable silence. You didn't ask Xiao why he didn't return to his duty and Xiao didn't ask you why you didn't leave his presence.

It wasn't until the sun crept over the specially figured mountains of Liyue that the adeptus flashed out, presumably to return to the duties he left behind that night. You, on the other hand, felt the regret for not simply going back to sleep.

With your shoulders hunched and eyes drooping you meandered your way back to your room, flopping on the bed as the morning rays peeked through the still swaying curtains.

So much for getting some fucking sleep.