CHAPTER 219 **Would You Give it Up?**

After a moment of getting over his shock, Felix quietly started to really wonder…

Putting his lips in a straight line, and swallowing, Felix then said once again, “Sahara?”

“Matilda. I changed my name.”

…It was a scary thing, to see a man almost cry.

She could tell that he wasn’t one to cry and that he was holding it in, but a tear dropped anyway.

“Sahara!” His cry came out louder.

“Shh! I’m a secret! Secret!” Matilda stated, looking around…Perhaps it would have been better if someone were in the room, then she wouldn’t have stupidly come to be here! But luckily no one had heard him!

Obtaining his composure back, Felix nodded and then finally smiled. He didn’t utter a word, but Matilda shook her head to his thoughts…

“You’re a man now uh, all grown up!”

“I was always a man!” Felix stated proudly.

“Right, you were born with a beard like some freak, I get it!” Matilda uttered. She’d forgotten what he was like!

He frowned at her but didn’t hold it long. In what felt like a long time he went to pick up her hand and held it very gently. “You are real.”

Matilda nearly broke down to his thoughts then.

He had hoped to have seen her a lot earlier…The times that he had called out to his master…

“I’m sorry…” Matilda didn’t know what else to say.

Her hand fell down, and she watched him move his hands closer to himself once again, “Where have you been? Why are you…Different?”

Yeah, I should be prepared for these questions…But I’m not!

“I came back like this.” Was all she could come up with…

“Came back?”

She knew he already had suspicions, but she didn’t want to feed them with the truth. But was he going to let it go?

“Yeah.”

“Did my imperial father kill you?”

Why…Why was her apprentice so upfront and blunt! How was he going to rule a Haven like this!?

Looking away from him, Matilda tried to smile but it didn’t work at all.

Felix watched her like a hawk, and he could tell, straight away, “He will pay!”

Matilda turned back to him and glared, “No! This isn’t the time to avenge someone who’s…Not dead!”

Well…It was true…She was at this current moment breathing and in his presence as a human being…

It was one of those trick questions, like if a plane fell in the forest and no one heard it, does it make a sound…

Haha, what if I’m the real Schrodinger’s cat!? I’m I dead or alive? Wait, was that it?

…Felix went quiet for a moment and so did Matilda.

“…You are looking for the Golden Emperor? Why? Why does that include my father?”

Matilda finally felt a bit less emotional, “All Haven Emperor’s need to agree to one person for that person to become the Golden Haven Emperor. That is why he is invited, like all the others, to go to Golden Haven!”

In time Felix nodded his acknowledgement, it was like the usual and similar Katherine, and Matilda missed him once again.

Silence entered the room and Matilda closed her eyes…She didn’t see anything but just felt that comfort that perhaps she had forgotten about.

Was it because she trusted Felix? Or perhaps she liked his personality? Whatever it was, Matilda felt herself grow slightly lax being with her apprentice once again.

Felix, on the other hand, looked at Matilda a few times, hardly believing this to be true.

He had wished so badly to have seen her again but after five years he had started to give up. But now, right at this moment, here she was…Right in front of him.

There was so much he wanted to show her, so much he wished to say…

“…I got a bone to pick with you.” Matilda suddenly said, making Felix immediately pay attention to...What was that that she just said!?

A bone?

Seeing her lovely apprentice waiting for her to continue, Matilda looked at him squarely, “What’s going on with your wife!? I know you love each other, why not go to her!?”

Felix had shut his ‘doors’ upon hearing the word ‘wife’ and just blankly stared at Matilda.

Seeing into his thoughts upon being betrayed and that he has doubts, Matilda smiled at him, “How long have you wasted, how long will you still just not accept it, when it is all in the past?”

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“I do not trust her.”

Knowing trust is a big thing with a relationship, Matilda nodded, “It is important but…What you don’t ‘trust’ isn’t her…It’s other men. And considering what had happened to her, and how, she will probably never sleep with someone ever again with the lights off…So tell me, little boy, when will you accept it? When you are grey and old, when ya dick won’t give her your own real child? When are you going to fill that void inside her that is tearing her apart?”

Felix frowned at his master showing him anger, especially when he felt like he hadn’t done anything wrong! It was also her type of language! His master was never so…Blunt…Or was she? But for her to state something so easily…

But still does language matter when he had done nothing wrong!?

“I did not sleep with another man! She did!”

Matilda suddenly flicked his forehead. “You fuckin imbecile, if she knew it was another man it would have been rape!”

Felix rubbed his forehead and knew about all this! He knew it! He had thought about all this many times!

It was just the first time that someone had told him…

“It is my own business!” He stated, giving off a clear and obvious want to end the conversation.

“Stupid!”

Matilda was silent for a moment, closing her eyes and Felix swallowed…

He was sometimes scared of his master…She was sudden, harsh…Sometimes she was like a devil!

What is she going to do!?

Suddenly another person was in the room and Cordelia looked around in shock, “I was just…”

“Hello honey, I’m Matilda.”

Cordelia went quiet after a quick polite greeting and then looked at Felix, “Your Highness?”

Felix didn’t state a word, just going quiet.

He did look at Cordelia though, he did see her, he always saw her…

Matilda sighed, “I really should just leave you two in here until you make up but I’m not sure if it’ll happen! You’ve been like this for so many years!”

Cordelia took a deep breath in and became anxious at the topic of conversation, her sudden disappearance and appearance elsewhere forgotten.

No one really knew! No one knew…

“It’s not a great thing, that happened, someone got the better of you.” Matilda started, feeling slight betrayal as she tried to put herself in their shoes…It was more than betrayal though…There was a pure exhaustion and a case of forbidden fruit…On both sides.

…Both of them did not say a word.

Cordelia was still panicking about what Matilda might know and Felix was accepting the ‘scolding’.

There was just nothing that she could do but actually show them!

Matilda grabbed both of their hands and linked them together. She showed Felix that night, showing him the dark, showing him Cordelia’s thoughts of Felix, while not knowing that it was not him on top of her. In return, Matilda showed Cordelia Felix’s thoughts, his wants…How he loved her like no other. How he had felt and still felt about it all.

When Matilda finished, she let go of the hands and looked at both of them, waiting for them to adjust to what they had felt and seen.

“I know it’s not ideal, I know life is a fucking bitch and it sucks but do you know what is real? Do you want to hear the facts?”

Both Felix and Cordelia looked at each other and stayed quiet.

Matilda just bluntly said what they already know, “She wishes it was you! You both love each other! You both still love each other! If you don’t at least try, you might as well just give up and get over it! Stop this lingo, this never-ending wheel upon all that is between you that is something bad that happened a long time ago…So…What’s it going to be!?”

Sadness filled the room…Almost like one of them, or perhaps both of them had given up…

That’s bullshit!

Matilda stood up and both Felix and Cordelia looked up at her.

“Sit closer!”

Felix did as he was told, but Cordelia hadn’t moved. She was not happy!

“Hold hands and close your eyes.” Matilda stated, shaking her head.

It took longer than she had wished, as this was her precious time but…

“I want you to circle your thumb over the other’s hand, slowly…”

Touching, it’s a good start…

They had rarely kissed before today, ever!

If they didn’t know what it was like to be intimate, how could they strive for this type of life?

It was like one had to know both worlds of being poor and rich, and it was like these two only knew the ‘rich’ life…Just for instance…

Probably a bad way of putting it but whatever!

After a time, they both went to open their eyes and Matilda watched them look at each other and then look away…Shyly.

Getting somewhere!

“Link one of your hands and let go with the other.”

Felix did as he was told and felt a push on his back. He saw Matilda move her head towards Cordelia and pushed him lightly again, so he moved closer to his wife.

“Put your hand to her neck and play with her ear.” Matilda said to him then.

“I can’t do this!” Cordelia said suddenly and went to stand up, breaking the link between her and her husband.

Matilda stood in front of her and stared at her, “If this was the last chance that could bring you two together in happiness, would you give it up?”

Cordelia looked away, a whole minute passed by quietly as they watched her, and then her lower lip quivered.

She went to speak but nothing came out. Blinking a few times she then just as quickly sat back down and looked at Felix and started to cry.

If anyone knew about Felix and his love for her, it was Cordelia. She had used her cultivation many times to see what he was he thinking and many times she’d know he still loved her! Never did she get the chance to move on from him, thinking perhaps what she could do and how she could leave, because she knew he had never wanted her to go anywhere! He just wasn’t being greedy with her…Every time she went to try and close the distance between them, he would pull away. It was simple…As long as she stayed and he could see her from time to time, he could endure…

“Go on, give her a cuddle.” Matilda sat down once again and tapped Cordelia on her shoulder, as Felix weirdly gave his wife a hug.

It looked uncomfortable but it seemed it was enough for Cordelia to cry even harder.

Felix looked stricken and looked at Matilda.

What do I do?

His thoughts only made Matilda give him a sad smile, “Let her know that you are there for her! Take her into your arms and protect her!”

Perhaps ‘protecting’ her from her own emotions was all Felix thought was enough to hug Cordelia slightly better.

For a couple of quiet minutes, they all were just hoping for Cordelia to quiet down a bit, considering neither Felix nor Matilda was very good at consoling somebody…

But finally, Matilda quietly said, “I suggest that you spend five minutes of everyday just massaging one another. Your ears, like earlier, hands…Feet. Arms…That’s it! Do you think it is hard? Have I put you guys in hell?”

Letting out a small laugh, Matilda got up then and looked down at them, “You both have grieved enough, it’s time to finally become a real husband and wife! Oh, don’t tell anyone about me! Got it!? And do as you’re told!”

With a wink, Matilda disappeared and sighed upon returning back to a silent Katherine.

“…Why do you never ask where I’ve been or what I was doing?” Matilda suddenly asked her new twin sister.

“I know that you look after yourself well, prin…I mean, Tilda. I worry though but that is about your safety.”

Matilda narrowed her eyes at her, “I’ve caused many problems for many people, and you trust me this much!”

Katherine smiled at her, which was rare, “You are a good person, one that shows a better road to many people. The problems that come to you aren’t always done by you…”

That was probably all she was going to get out of Katherine…She looked done…

Shaking her head and sighing, Matilda stretched, “The Emperors have all read the letter…Now it’s time for the Golden Heir’s…”

Katherine looked at her, or through her…

They both thought about one particular group.

She did not state a thing though, as Katherine once again looked away.

It seemed that now that they had a time limit, Katherine was starting to get anxious.

There wasn’t much that Matilda could do about that, so it was probably time to start sending off more letters!