Chapter 25

"MY BABY MOVED!"

Avery's hand and mine stayed on my belly. Another first I got to experience, and Art missed. The guilt keeps piling up. The successive welcomed movements in my stomach stirred me up as if the little human inside me was giving their sentiment. Yes, baby. We will tell Daddy today. Let's tell him when he calls to check in.

"No! I'll call him now."

"Slow down, Mommy!" Avery's eyes widened as she watched me stand up and sweep my phone from the table. My hands were shaking. I could hear my heartbeat from my chest. Hormones or not, I knew I couldn't wait another second not to inform Art. My fingers pressed the number one in my contacts.

In just three rings, I heard Art's voice. His forehead wrinkled as his eyes checked my face.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"Im good. We're all good." I sniffed, trying to control my tears. "I miss you. We both miss you."

Art chuckled. "I miss you too, Shells. You and Avery both."

"Arty! I missed you too!" Avery shoved her face into my phone screen.

"But it's not just Shells and me who miss you." I felt my best friend's hand clasped into mine that, gently pressed on my protruding bump.

"Uhm... yes." My voice croaked. "There's someone special missing you so much."

Art's eyes brightened. His lips curved into a teasing smile. "Is my mother visiting you guys? I asked her to visit you often. To make sure Ave is a good girl!"

"No!" My tone pitched. "We meant someone else. I want you to meet someone."

Art's brows creased. His eyes looked around the background behind me, which he could see over his phone screen. I knew he was trying to check for others besides Avery And me, not seeing anyone else, his eyes glued on mine. "Who do you want me to meet, baby?" he asked.

Slowly I moved down my phone to focus its camera on my pregnant belly. Art's eyes widened. I gently stroked my bump, my eyes not leaving his.

"Art, babe." I sniffed as I tried to hold back my tears. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner." my sniffles turned into soft sobs.

Immediately Avery was beside me, her hand patting my back in slow motion. It didn't escape my vision when Art's head stiffened as he bit his lip hard.

"Please listen to my explanation, baby," I told Art as I wiped the tears on my cheek. "Baby..." I couldn't finish what I was about to say when he looked me in the eye and asked coldly, "How far along are you?"

His question struck me. Did he think I was pregnant with another man's child?

"Baby, this is your child. This baby is ours."

Art took a deep breath. "Since when did you know? Before or after I left for Munich?"

"I'm sorry for not telling you." Art sighed aloud. "Shells, before or after?" "Before," I answered with my eyes closed.

Total silence from Art's end followed. Unable to think of what to say next, I kept my eyes closed for a few more seconds. Before I could open my eyes, I felt Avery's hand removing the phone from my grasp.

I opened my eyes quickly. When I looked at my phone in Avery's hand, she shrugged her shoulders and told me that Art ended the call.

Avery spent hours calling Art back. But after multiple unanswered calls, she got tired when her calls were sent to voicemail. All the while, I was in my bed crying the most tears I've ever cried in my life.

Despite it all, I don't blame Art. His reaction was valid. I hid vital information from him. And I decided without giving him a chance to decide for himself. If there was someone to blame, it was me.

I should have seen his reaction coming. A part of me was hoping I could turn back time so I could have made the better decision. But every time I think of Art staying and giving up his scholarship, I always go back to the idea that I was thinking what I thought was best for him.

***

Days passed, and despite my and Avery's relentless calls and text messages to Art, we failed to get any response. When his mom called to check on me, she told me to calm down and give him time to let the situation sink into him.

But when a month passed with no call or even a text from Art, fear dawned on me. Doubts started creeping in. Maybe Art realized his love for me couldn't surpass his anger toward my hiding the pregnancy.

Avery's usual line that Art would surely come around days after the call turned into different curse words she only had for him. My only hope is that he will find it in his heart to feel the happiness of becoming a father dissipated slowly. And I couldn't complain since I brought everything that was happening upon me.

Since then, every night, as I lay in bed, I ask for forgiveness from my baby. Forgiveness for not having them experience their dad around. It was selfish of me to think I was doing the right thing for Art.

***

"Did he answer?" Avery asked when she saw me trying to ring Art.

It had been exactly five weeks since I revealed to Art my pregnancy.  Days ago, his mom visited to remind me about my doctor's appointment tomorrow. It was another sad talk. Auntie Jenny tried assuring me that Art was just busy and still trying to face the situation.

I couldn't say a word without crying. It had been weeks of tears and never-ending regrets. When Avery and I talked after Auntie Jenny left, I told her how sorry I was for hurting Art, but I had to continue living for my baby. It pains me to know Art may have had a change of heart about me. But his silence and lack of communication after our numerous texts and calls pained me more, knowing he now had an idea he would soon be a father.

"If I had known Art would be ghosting us after knowing, I wouldn't have pressured you to tell him." Avery's voice was soft but firm. "One month and a few weeks more of no communication is freaking stupid! I'm sorry, Shells!"

I shook my head and gave my best friend a half smile. "It's not your fault. Everything is on me. No one should blame Art." My voice croaked. "It was a foolish move on my part to hide everything from him."

"And I'm part of it." Avery squeezed my hand. "I should have told him. So it's not just you. Okay?" Avery gently caressed my stomach. "I will always be here for you, Shells. For you and my godchild. Who, I swear, got bigger after the great reveal!"

Avery's words made me smile a little. She was right. After that infamous phone reveal, my pregnant belly looked rounder and more prominent for some reason. "I noticed the same." I gently stroke my stomach. "If anything good came out of telling Art, it lifted the heaviness I've been carrying on my shoulders."

Avery nodded. She was about to make another statement when her phone started ringing. Auntie Jenny told us to drive to my OB's clinic, and she would meet us there.

As expected, my pregnancy journey had become a family affair. Every month Avery and Auntie Jenny come with me to the clinic. Her dad handled my midnight food cravings. Her mom took care of my vitamins and maternity clothes. And the endless baby shopping had been a weekly affair of the mothers.

Even though I miss my mom so much, I could feel her presence through all the love and attention of all the parents, and Avery had been giving me. And every day, since I last talked to Art, I couldn't help but tell myself everything should have been perfect if not for my selfish decision.

But I couldn't dwell on my regret and self-blame for long. My pain towards Art and our relationship come second to the baby's health. Everything else could wait. I have to set aside my interest for the baby's sake. Another truth about motherhood I've learned and experienced a lot lately.

As we walked toward the clinic, Avery kept babbling about her bet with our parents on the baby's gender. Today's visit is also when we learn about the baby's gender. Thinking Art chose not to share this moment with me opened the floodgates again. I had to step into the restroom to compose myself.

I have to be stronger, especially now that the possibility of not having Art in the picture gets confirmed daily. It took me a few minutes to repeat affirming words for me and the baby. And just as Avery would always say, I could blame everything on pregnancy hormones.

As much as I would want to make a hole inside the restroom, Avery's loud knocking wouldn't allow it.

"Hey, Shells. You're next. The secretary already called your name."

"I'm coming!" I took a deep breath and walked out with my head held high.

Avery smiled and squeezed my hand as I came out of the door. "Auntie Jenny is on her way. She will get inside once she arrives." I mouthed a thank you to my best friend as we walked toward the doctor's clinic.

The preliminary process and Q and A went smoothly. My blood pressure, weight, and everything else got all checked. When it was time for the ultrasound, Avery got ready with her phone. As we practiced in the apartment, I slowly closed my eyes once my OB started squirting the cool gel on my stomach. We'd decided only Avery and the doctor would know the gender in preparation for the gender reveal party. The mothers and my best friend insisted.

As the doctor moved the ultrasound gadget around my belly, I soothed with my baby's loud and strong heartbeat. The quiet inside the room paused with the sound of the door opening.

"I'm here!" Auntie Jenny's voice sounded, to which Avery responded, "Yey!"

A few seconds after, Avery's loud gasp and nerve-sounding "Triple OMG!" filled the room.

"What's going on?" I asked with my eyes still closed. "Everything is fine," my doctor answered. But in the background, I could hear Avery whispering triple omg continuously.

I was about to say another word when Auntie Jenny whispered not to worry about anything. I felt a hand squeezing into mine. But unlike Auntie Jenny's soft and small hand, it was hard and bigger. Slowly I felt it lacing on my fingers. A jolt of goosebumps filled me. When a sudden realization hit me, I immediately opened my eyes.

Art's smiling face and teary eyes darted on my face. His fingers laced with mine. My tears fell, and the only words that came from my mouth were, "Triple OMG!"

***