Forever

I can remember every detail of that night like it was yesterday.

My family and I had just completed the move to Nashville, and my parents were busy settling in at the farmhouse, but I still had finals to take in North Carolina. Our old house was under-agreement and sat empty with  just a couple mattresses on the floor in our bedrooms for whoever went back to wrap up the last details of the move.

My parents were reluctant about me traveling to the house and sleeping over for a couple nights to finish up school, but I convinced them I could handle being alone for a few days.

The first day of finals, I drove to the school and the parking lot seemed empty. The seniors, including Nate, were gearing up for their graduation the next day. I tried focusing on school work, but all I could think of was making a fresh start for myself in a new high school and focusing on my budding career.

That night, I spent most of my time in my plain, empty room. I sat on the mattress eating Chinese takeout with chopsticks and reading through my notes for my last day of finals, which included my dreaded chemistry class.

My notes were like chicken scratch, barely legible. I opened my laptop and started entering the password into my school account to look at the online textbook. Before logging in, I received a text on my phone.

I had been staring at my notes so long I was convinced my eyes were blurry. I swore I saw the name, Nate, on the screen.  I only had one Nate stored in my phone, and we hadn't spoken or texted in over a year and half.

The text read:

Jenna really liked her doll, tell your mom thanks.

I was in complete shock at the out of the blue text from Nate about my mother's birthday present she dropped off a few weeks prior.

With phone in hand, I stood up and walked over to the window. I discreetly pulled back the white sheer covering the window and looked across the street. I saw Nate's bedroom light on and a silhouette standing in front of the window looking in my direction.  A few seconds later, the lights turned off and the room went dark.

I released the sheer out of my hand, letting the window treatment fall back into place. I plunked back down on my mattress, completely confused as I contemplated my next move.

To text or not text, that was the question.

I decided to give Nate the same courtesy he showed me the last year and half of school, which was none.

I didn't answer him back.

His correspondence bothered me, lingering like a bad smell that I couldn't get rid of. I tossed and turned in bed that night as many questions lingered in my mind.

The next morning, I drove to the school and the entire place was packed. Off in the distance, the football field was set up for graduation. Parents and students, wearing cap and gowns, eagerly arrived in the parking lot.

I avoided looking over at the chaos, I had no interest in the seniors, including Nate. I rushed into the air-conditioned building. Even though I wore jean shorts and a white tank top, the weather was still way too humid and sticky for me.

I definitely could've done better on my chemistry final, but when I texted my parents I was done with school, they seemed relieved and didn't seem to care how the test went.

After doing errands for my parents, I pulled into the driveway and noticed Nate's mailbox had blue and gold balloons, our school colors, tied to the post.

I walked into our house and realized this would be my last night in North Carolina. That thought was slightly bittersweet, this home was all I ever knew. I began to clean from the night before, picking up class notes that I had sprawled out all over the bedroom carpet.

After tidying up, I retrieved a pencil, guitar pick, and one of my lyric books from my small suitcase. I grabbed my guitar from the corner of the room and sat down on the mattress. I placed the guitar pick in my mouth and shoved the pencil behind my ear as I flipped through the book to find the current song I was working on.

As I contemplated lyrics and potential chords, I was interrupted by a text.  I glanced down at the screen and saw Nate's name  for the second consecutive night.

The text read:

Nick, I know you're home. I need to see you.

I immediately placed my guitar down, went over to the window, like the night before, and peeked across the street to his house. I saw no lights on or cars in his driveway.

Nate was probably at some graduation party with his friends and thought it would be funny if he played a joke on me one last time.

I chose to do the same thing I did the night before, I ignored the text.

I picked up my guitar and tried to focus again.

Then, my phone rang.

My parents usually called to say goodnight right around that time so I didn't think anything of it until I glanced down and saw Nate's name staring back at me.

I panicked, not knowing what to do. Nate texting me was odd, but Nate calling me was really odd.  For many reasons, including being too curious,  I answered the phone.

"Hello," I said in a tone as to not let on I knew who was on the other end.

"Nick, it's me," he said sort of mumbling.

"What do you want?"

"I'm in the treehouse," he said definitely mumbling.

"What's going on?" I said confused.

"I need you to come over," he said mumbling again then his words trailed off.

"Where are your parents?" I asked as I started to worry just a little.

"Not home. If you don't come here, I'm coming over," he said slurring his words that time.  I realized he definitely had a few "beverages" under his belt.

I began imagining Nate high up in the treehouse, intoxicated and slightly sloppy. I should not have cared at all, but the last thing  I needed on my last night in my old house was to have Nate fall out of the treehouse and be unconscious on the ground all alone in his backyard.

This was a complete nightmare.

I turned the corner in Nate's backyard and realized how long it had been since I was last there.  The treehouse looked weathered, the exterior paint was chipping off in spots.  I looked up and saw flickering lights coming from the inside of the treehouse which illuminated some of the darkness in the sky.

I started to climb up the ladder to the treehouse, navigating passed two missing rungs.

"Nate, are you up there?" I shouted.

I heard a muffled sound as I made my way to the top of the ladder.  I peeked in the tree house and was completely thrown off guard.

Instead of string lights hanging from the walls,  lit candles were scattered around the floor as Nate sat up against a wall. He was surrounded by the same old throw pillows and blankets that were so familiar to both of us over the years, plus two opened beers that sat next to him.

"I knew you would come," he said clear as day and not mumbling.

"Are you ok?"

I sat near the exit not fully committed to being in our old hideout spot.

"Better now," he confessed with no sign of being drunk.

"Have you been drinking?" I pointed to the bottles.

"Just a couple sips. I thought maybe you'd have a drink with me? For old times' sake."

He picked one of the bottles up.

"I thought you were in trouble. I'm so mad at myself!"

I placed my foot on the top step of the ladder to begin my descent.

"Please, hear me out!"

I sat still for a second. I noticed the humid and sticky weather had carried over into the night as I started to sweat a little, partially due to my ex-best friend's untimely invitation.

"Jenna's at a sleepover, my parents are out to dinner. It's just us," he said weirdly emphasizing the word, "us."

"What happened to all your friends? Now that you graduated, they don't need to suck up to the quarterback, anymore."

He didn't respond. Instead, we just stared at one another.

Then, he glanced down at the ground.

"I missed you," he said softly. "I know you're leaving tomorrow, can you just hear me out?"

Everyone knew I was moving to Nashville to pursue my dreams, but no one, including Nate, knew I already had a record deal.

I crawled back into the treehouse and decided to give him one last chance to say whatever he needed to say to me, "for old times' sake," like he said.  I sat on the opposite side of the treehouse and settled in.

"Five minutes," I said sternly.

He held the beer up and asked if I wanted any. I hesitated for a few seconds, then I realized I might need some liquid courage to get through whatever he was about to say. I reluctantly took the bottle, closed my eyes, and winced internally as I took my first chug of beer.

It tasted disgusting, but I needed something to calm my anxiety and growing nerves.

I opened my eyes and told him to start talking.

"I've missed all of this," he said pointing around the treehouse.

I rolled my eyes. His words were just words.

"I thought when we were here together,  it would last forever," he said.

"But it didn't. You pretended you didn't know, ME, your best friend, for how many years?" I loudly replied.

"I didn't want to be around here anymore," he pointed towards his house. "That summer I started football,  my parents were stressed. They fought about money, then they just fought about everything."

"I'm sorry they fought, but all parents fight. That's just an excuse. You discovered you could throw a football real far. You all of a sudden had new friends and a bunch of girls all over you."

"You were my girl," he said softly.

"Don't say that."

"I watched your videos,  you sounded really good," he confessed.

I didn't know what to say so I grabbed the beer bottle again and took another swig, the taste was more bitter than the first time.  I managed to choke back a few more sips before placing it down.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Nate."

I was in disbelief he had the gall to say all of this now.

Nate moved closer to me.

"I want you to say, you missed me, too."

I did miss him. I missed him every day. My emotions started to get the best of me.

"Is this some kind of senior prank?" I said more vulnerable than ever.

"I've never been this serious. I'm trying to tell you I screwed up. That I'm sorry."

He moved next to me, shoulder to shoulder, with his back on the same wall as mine.

I turned away and looked in the other direction.

"I don't believe you," I said trying to hide my emotions, but he knew better.

"Look at me."

I slowly looked over and met his gaze.

"I've liked you since that first day we met."

"Don't lie to me," I said, tearing up as I shook my head.

He simply pointed to the ceiling. I tried focusing through my tears as I glanced up and saw our carved initials still present but with something extra added on.

N & N Forever

"It has been forever, Nick."

"I trusted you the last time we were here together, how can I trust you now?" I said, searching in his eyes for a truthful answer.

"I'll show you."

Nate slowly leaned in towards me. I felt his warm breath on my face. My heart beat faster. His soft lips touched mine for the first time.  Every part of me tingled as he moved down my neck, to my bare shoulder, then back up to my mouth again.

That moment felt like an eternity, then he stopped.

I opened my eyes to see if I was really in a dream.

"Do you believe me now?" he asked.

I searched his face for any hint he was being deceitful or just using me.

I found nothing.

I was too caught up with emotion to verbally answer his question so I simply nodded.

Then, it was like the stars lined up and nothing could stop us.

He removed my tank top,  his touch felt like home. He unbuttoned my jean shorts and seductively kissed my belly button which sent shivers through my spine. I removed his t-shirt and unzipped his jeans.

His impressive body ended up on top of mine. We were both naked, skin on skin, which made me want him even more. The, he suddenly stopped and looked into my eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I didn't have to think too long.

Nate probably had done this before, but I had not. He was gentle and caring, like I had always known him to be when we were growing up.

We were both sweaty from the warmer than usual June night as we became entwined, one body, one soul.

I thought my heart couldn't take any more surprises that night, but right before we fell asleep in each other's arms,  Nate whispered in my ear.

"I love you, Nick."