Chapter 40

The past 'me' crouching down at that horrible school trying to bottle up the feelings sat in front of me. This was me back at excruciating-thirteen.

I took a deep breath and offered her my hand.

"Dear Blair of the past, I'm not you anymore. You have no reason to hold back. No one will scold you for being a little selfish and doing what you want. Chase after your dreams. Chase after love. I will not throw you away. I will embrace you so please, let's change for good. Are you with me?" Cliché yes, but, it told me everything I needed to hear back then.

"Do you think that would work?" My past self asked me with a pitiful face.

"I know it will." I reached out my hand to the little me who was suffering. I saw my past hesitate but finally held on to me. I smiled at her. I opened my arms to hug her and she ran towards me.

In a few seconds, the small girl I was hugging vanished into thin air. The guilt I was unconsciously carrying this whole time washed away in a second. Genuine relief flooded over me and enveloped me.

I felt lighter and easier. I felt real warmth from a really long time.

Now, let's solve the other problems. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, taking my time.

"I'm not weak or terrible as you think I am. Do you know why? Because you are an illusion. The Alvin, I know, would never spout such nonsense even to a beggar on the road." I smirked at the phantom of Alvin in front of me. It frowned at me but it withdrew the fight and disappeared.

One down!

"I don't care if you think I'm dumb. If you were pitying me, you won't have hugged me while I was crying on the hunting competition. You won't rely on me when you needed help to change your fate. So, buh-bye." I waved at Phantom Carlisa and swished my hair a little to throw her off her game.

"I'm sorry if I end up speaking with disrespect but you have no right to tell me that. I did not take away your daughter. Rather, I helped her build up a more valuable personality. I have nothing to regret about it." I aimed at the phantoms of my parents. I was angry! How dare these phantoms imitate my parents? Who gave them the right to do so? I feel like tearing the one responsible to a gazillion pieces.

Ok, now I feel like a proud and vicious villainess. Who cares either way! I'm not the petty female lead who'll forgive each and everyone around. I'm not that naïve.

"You trusted me with your own decision. I never asked you to join forces with me or treat me nicely. You decided it on your own and I'm forever grateful for all your help. Now then, phantoms just shoo along! I have a bigger problem to solve." I directed at the phantoms of my brothers. They withered away just as the others.

Finally, the core of the problem.

Our Rose.

Little Rose was crying in front of me. I knew what I had to do.

I walked near the crying little Rose and lifted her up in my steady arms. She screamed, flustered, at my sudden action.

"Don't you hate me? I was very mean!" She asked between sobs and a cute hiccup.

"I don't hate you. But, did I really take away your life?" I asked her in a smile.

"You...Yo...I..I.." She stammered while I wiped away her tears.

"Rose, did you know that you were always there with me this whole time?" I told her by keeping my palm on my heart.

"Right there?" She pointed at my heart. I nodded.

"If I had been here alone without your help and courage, I would have never lasted this long." I told her the honest truth after putting two and two together ever since the minute I took up swordsmanship and the dagger at the weapon shop.

She had been in my subconscious the whole time.

"It was you who guided me through your own life. You wanted emotional support and I helped you with that while you aided me to develop physically." I stated.

"Really? I- i helped you?" She asked me in a shocked expression.

"Yes, you helped me a lot." I told her lowering her up to face level.

"Do you want to know a secret?" She asked me improving her mood, suddenly. She really is one mood-changer.

"Yes?"

"You and I are the same person." She whispered in my ear with a giggle and vaporized from my arms.

Huh?!

>

"Why?" I yelled at Richard.

"That's abusing my authority." Richard replied.

"It's for Rose!" I screamed back. Why is he so uptight today?

"Haizz! You are impossible." He told me.

"Is it that hard for you to try to locate Rose?" I asked him with a scowl. What's wrong with him?

"She asked us to trust her and wait. We should trust her---"

"Brother Robert!!!" I heard Lily's voice coming out from Richard's study. I opened the door to let her in.

"What are you all up to?" She asked.

"How are you feeling, Lily?" Richard asked, concerned.

"I'm doing fine. It's all thanks to brother Richard." She spoke with a cute smile. Lily seems to be the complete opposite of Rose. She's gentle, nice and believes everything we say. When I tease her, her face sobers up in tears and I have to immediately stop or else I'll have to sleep in the hammock.

I'm sure when she turns sixteen in the coming months, half the faction of nobles will ask for her hand in you-know-what. Her personality seems too good to be true.

Rose, on the other hand, is rough. She's strong, too strong really, and sees people in their true nature, beats up anyone who says rubbish on us and teases us in the same way as we do to her. It's easy to get along.

It's amazing how different they are even when they are twins just like us but then again, I should speak for myself.

"Is Lady Rose a nice girl?" She asked us, with a hopeful face. We nodded our heads not wanting to tell that she just might not survive getting teased from two people in the same house.

"Back to topic. What are you hiding from me?" I scowled at Richard after sending Lily away in search of Mum for deciding colors for a family function.

"Rose talked to me. She---"

"What?! Why the hell didn't you tell me?" I slammed my hands on his desk and a pile of papers flew into the sky out of my own temper.

"This is why!" He glared at me. I helped him collect the papers. Many say that I'm the same as my mother with the same temper of a hot pepper.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"Rose talked to me with the crystal she gave each of us. Apparently, she couldn't use yours or of the others--"

"Wait, I'll---" I interrupted trying to run to my room. Richard created a silver barrier to the exit and I smashed my face-flat on it. It hurt.

"Shut up and listen. She didn't tell me where she was or when she'll come but asked us to trust her. I didn't say because of this exact same reaction and I bet three muffins that Rose knew you'd react like this too." He narrated after stopping me by grabbing my collar.

"Let go. It hurts." I winced. He pulled away and piled back the papers on his table.

"Then, I should ask Secretary Carlisa to go back then." I thought out loud.

"It's Crown Princess now and why is her highness here?" Richard asked, curiously.

"She came to know if we found anything. You rushed off after the ceremony and Lily fell ill so we had to come back. We were planning to use...I mean, ask you if we could track her." I blabbered.

"Tell her that we would have to wait. I have no intention of going back on my words for Rose." Richard declared.

"You should loosen up a little, you know." I teased him.

"You should start getting more serious in practice. You are the commander of one of the knight orders. Stop Slacking!" He bit me back. I pouted and exited his room.

>

Alvin was hiding something. Even, Lewis was. Like some hidden secret that only they knew. I balanced most of my secretary and Crown Princess duties. I'm flexible like that but this is starting to get annoying.

So, now, I'm here at the Eskater duchy to find out a location on Rose. I felt like she would come soon but our sassy Robert dragged me out.

First, it was Baby Alvin trying to coax me to find her and now it's this Idiotic brother.

He was more efficient in his work and completed all his reports in due time which never usually happens unless a blue moon shined the night before. Then again, this world has that possibility as well.

"I'm sorry, Secretary Carlisa but Richard seems to be too busy and is so stubborn. He keeps saying that we should trust Rose and wait." Robert came from the left and informed me. He is the only one who refused to call me just by name but I will tame him. Someway or the other.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you this whole damn time." I told him with a glare. This guy has no patience!

"I'll take my leave then." I calmed down, remembering my dignity as the Crown Princess, and bowed my head at the knight commander.

"Let me escort you. Otherwise, Lewis will have my head tomorrow."

"I'll take care of that. Just get me a horse. Carriages hurt my back." I told to Robert, who in turn, nodded in respect.

He's only a clown in leisure times. During practice, I have seen his serious face making the knights work to their bone.

This guy is the definition of working for blood, sweat and tears.

Maybe that was the reason why Lewis likes having Robert around.

I waved Goodbye and headed back to the castle. The evening wind twirled between my red curls. It felt refreshing. I wondered what Rose was doing right now.

I hope she is safe.

Hi there!

So, we have already come to one turning point of Rose's life and some background back in the duchy. What did you all think? Comment and feel free to leave a vote.

Happy reading!