4. To Find a Way

Heavy breathing.

My legs hurt. I was running away through the trees of the forest. Wearing a bridal lehenga, a huge red skirt with heavy golden embroidery which I was holding with both my hands to stop me from falling. The heavy gold jewellery choking my neck felt like thorns on my skin. I turned my head to look behind me, there was no one but I was still running. The noise from my anklets and the dry leaves crunching were the only noises I could hear. Then someone spoke.

"Stop running Naina!" I didn't stop.

"Running from this wedding will do you no good. You have to get married." I deep voice said again. I looked behind me again but there was no one.

"Naina please stop. For your father, your family. Just get married you are 25 now. Get married and have kids. That's what you are made for!" It was my father's voice.

"No" I screamed but kept running. They can't stop me. I will run.

Then I heard a baby crying. The sound increased and increased as I ran. I covered my ears with my hands but I could still hear it.

Then I stopped, breathing heavily. In between of nowhere, there were only trees all around me. Nothing else. I looked at my outfit and cringed in disgust. This is not who I am. This is not what I want.

"Naina just think how embarrassing it will be for your father. Just think about me, darling." My dad's voice echoed again.

"I do not want this, dad! Please stop!" I yelled.

My throat felt dry from all the running.

I heard leaves crunch behind me and I turned around.

Shiv.

His black shirt was half tucked in and his hair was ruffled. His eyes had a spark and shined beautifully. A smile played on his lips as he extended his hand and gave me a bottle of water. I took it and drank it all at once.

"You should do what your heart says and I can tell that this wedding is not what it tells you to do." His voice was deep and raspy, the kind that could turn you on.

"I don't have a choice. It is what everybody else wants and no one cares about what I want." I replied.

"I care. And you have a choice, you just have to think about it properly and it will click. A way out."

"How do I do it? Please help me." I pleaded.

"I will. Just not now. Think about it and you will find a way. I know you will." He said with a smile.

I don't know what happened but I suddenly had an urge to kiss him. So I did.

I pressed my lips to his and he replied by moving them just according to my rhythm. When we pulled away, he started backing away step by step.

"I know you will find a way." He said with a smile and disappeared into the dark.

I looked down at my outfit and it had changed to a beautiful white dress instead of the bridal lehenga.

I smiled at the sight. Feeling freedom. He did this. He can free me.

.

I woke up with a headache. What does this dream even mean? Do I really not want this wedding? Can I run away from all this? Can I find a way?

I wanted to live my life. I wanted to find love and I wanted to make a career. I wanted to find who I am but getting married is not what I want. For now, at least.

Ashwin is a nice guy but we all can tell how boring he is. I don't even want to imagine what my life would be with him.

I would have to wake up early, make breakfast. He would go to work really early and be busy all day and I would have nothing to do all day. He would come home late at night, have dinner and sleep. Then maybe we would have kids who would cry and poop all day and I would become a mess and he wouldn't even help because he would be too busy working. I would become the typical rich mom who goes to afternoon parties just to gossip with other rich moms about other rich moms.  Basically, I would become my mother. And then I would die doing this all my life.

I did not want this. I don't think anybody does. I want to work and open my own publishing house. I studied all these years for that and not for changing diapers of little monsters.

I know you will find a way.

The voice echoed again in my ears. I have to think. What can help me get out of this hell?

My phone vibrated and I picked it up from the bedside table.

Boss- Your vacation is over. You start as a senior editor from Monday. Be on time.

Senior Editor!? I got a promotion and I have to be back on Monday and I'm stuck here and most probably I'm going to have to turn down the offer because I have to get ready and be a bride next month.

Or do I have to?

I know you will find a way.

I can find a way.

What if I talk to someone about this promotion and get the wedding postponed for a while? I can think about cancelling it later but for now I'm fine with postponing.

But who do I talk to? Mom dad? No they will tell me that I can join work after the wedding and that's not what I plan to do. Sanjana? No she can't do anything other than cleaning the mess I make. Shiv? No why would I talk to him, no one listens to him and it would be really weird after what happened between us. Who else?

Ashwin.

He was the only person who could've stop this wedding for a while. I needed to talk to him and I needed to do it quick.

.

"What do I say to him? That I need him to help me run away for a while and eventually cancel this wedding?" I asked Sanjana who was sitting on my bed, trying not to make creases on the bedsheets while I paced around with my phone in my hand.

"Maybe ask if he is free and if he would like to go out for dinner tonight and then you could talk to him. He loves to work, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you postpone the wedding for work. I think he will understand." She replied. So she wants me to ask him out on a date?

"Maybe." I should just call him. I'm sure he would ask to talk on phone because he would be at work.

"Just call him." But I don't want to.

"Okay." I said and finally called him.

He picked up just after the first ring. That was fast. I thought he wouldn't even pick up. Maybe I judged him too quick. Maybe he is nicer. Maybe.

"Hey Naina! I was just about to call you." He said. Call me? About what?

"For what?" I replied. Was I being to rude? I didn't even greet him.

"I wanted to ask if you would like to go out to dinner with me. Maybe tonight if you're free?" Um, what? Was he listening to me talking to Sanjana? Or did I call him and he heard it all? Or did he hack my phone? Why am I so stupid for thinking that he might've hacked my phone? I should probably get my head checked.

"Sure, I would love to. In fact I called to ask if you wanted to go for dinner tonight. I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay then. I will pick you up at 7. Is that fine?" He asked.

"Yes, 7 is good. Bye" And I hung up. I have to do something about me being rude all the time.

Just as I threw my phone on the bed,

"Naina!" I heard my brothers voice from behind me. I turned around and ran to him.

"Vivan!" I screamed and hugged him tightly.

"I thought you were coming next week." I said, pointing out the fact that I wasn't expecting him to be here.

"Surprise!" He said while opening his arms.

"I missed you." I don't want to get emotional but I can't help it.

"I missed you too. And after some days you will get married and I won't see you around here. I'm going to miss you." He said and my face fell. I didn't even want to get married, I don't want to go away.

He understood my expressions. He knew me too well to not understand what was going on. He knew I didn't want this wedding to happen with just one expression of mine.

"Is something wrong? Are you not happy?" He asked, a frown playing on his forehead.

"I got a promotion today. I'm the senior editor now and I have to join on Monday. But I'll just have to turn it down." I said with a sad smile.

"No! You have to go back. You won't get this opportunity again. Should I talk to dad?"

"Don't even try. He is still shocked after you came out as gay."

"I know. I stunned everyone, didn't I?" He said with a knowing smile.

Our mom and dad are still not happy with his confession. They refused to believe him when he came out. It's a really long story for another time.

"So anyway. I just talked to Ashwin and I think he's the only one that can help me. I'm going out to dinner with him tonight." I informed.

"It's going to be fine. Just do what you want, mom dad will be back to normal after a few days. It's a good thing you're straight or they would just disown you." He said and I laughed.

I know you will find a way.

I have.