You love everyone, Concubine Rou, the empress dowager, the little prince, him, but you canât love me. ââFeng Yu
It snowed heavily that day.
I sat in the Golden Imperial Hall, watching as my dynasty disappeared bit by bit.
If someone asked me: Do you regret it?
I would answer: I donât regret it.
No one understood me. If I could go back in time, I would hope that I didnât meet her.
What I regretted wasnât the decision, but meeting her.
I had been the crown prince since I was young. Although the road to the throne wasnât smooth, no one could stop me.
So I had an arrogant personality and could see through peopleâs hearts. I didnât have many friends, my only friend when I was young was probably Song Nan Mo.
I thought that he and I would be friends for life.
But I never thought that we would lose each other because of a single girl.
In the dead of night, I would ask myself if I really loved that person.
I am the emperor, I can get any beautiful woman in the world, why was I so obsessed with her?
I could give her to Song Nan Mo to make him more loyal to me and I could give their love a beautiful ending.
Butâ¦â¦I couldnât do itâ¦â¦
I never thought that I would like a person this much. It was as if I wanted her even if I lost my heart.
Disregarding our relationship as ruler and minister, disregarding everything.
No one knew what I was thinking. Thought that that I was being selfish and self serving, but no one knew that I really liked that person.
Perhapsâ¦â¦Even more than Song Nan Mo.
To take a gamble, I made a bold decision.
She was a smart person, she would definitely know what choice to make.
The High Race Country or my concubine, I wanted her to choose one. I didnât think she would go to such a far off place.
I gambled that she wouldnât go. I didnât even ask her to beg me, as long as she told me she didnât want to go, I wouldnât let her go.
I didnât sleep that night. It was the first time I didnât sleep since I had taken the throne.
But she never came to beg me. She wasnât willing to beg me even when putting on that bright red wedding dress.
Why? Why?
She once sacrificed her life to save me. When those countless black clothed experts surrounded me, she firmly stood in front of me.
I thought thatâ¦â¦even if she didnât love meâ¦â¦she wouldnât hate meâ¦â¦
But she really seemed to hate meâ¦â¦
But we did have one thing in common, we were both biased.
It was not wonderâ¦â¦she was my sister, my half related sister from the same father.
No one would understand. Even if I couldnât marry her, as long as she was by my side and I could always be with her.
Even if I knew that she was my sister, I didnât care how heartbroken I was and would protect her.
But sheâ¦â¦still left.
Marrying into the far off High Race Country, so stubborn that she didnât look back once.
That year that she left, I didnât sleep well. Scenes of our first encounter would appear in front of my eyes in the middle of the night, like nightmares that wouldnât go away.
I had been tortured enough! n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
So when Taluâs arrow pierced my heart, I didnât feel any pain and instead felt relieved.
Finally, there was no need to agonize.
Who said that emperorâs were ruthless? I loved so much that I couldnât control myself anymore.
Land, honour, wealth, statusâ¦â¦
I could give it all away, just her alone was enough.
But I didnât seemâ¦â¦lucky enoughâ¦â¦
Not luckyâ¦â¦
Enoughâ¦â¦
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