I still like you very much. In the lonely city filled with smoke, surrounded by tens of thousands of soldiers, I will still come for you. ââSong Nan Mo.
I also thought about how my life would have been if I didnât meet you.
Perhaps it would have been very plain, living into my old age.
Facing a person that I couldnât say that I loved, but protecting them for the rest of my ordinary life.
But at a certain point, God shot a bright firework into my life.
They might not know how important this life was for me, but it had changed my life.
Actually, she and I were not destined.
A light would be loved and remembered by others.
Even if she was a maid, there was nothing that stopped her from shining bright.
The richest and most powerful man in the world loved her, loving her to an obsessive level.
At that moment, I felt so disciplined and so insignificant.
I didnât love her less, but I could only accept my punishment and endure without a word.
I could die, but I couldnât give in.
That was myâ¦â¦bottom lineâ¦â¦.
After being imprisoned, I thought about many things. How my mother and father were also matched together in the beginning. I heard that before my mother married my father, there was someone that she loved.
Although I heard rumours from my relatives, I could see that there was something missing when my mother looked at my father.
It was only a long time later reading my motherâs suicide note that I realized that she already had someone that she loved, but she married my father because of family reasons.
There was an obsession in her heart, one that no one knew about.
But mother didnât expect that the two children she gave birth two wouldnât escape this fate.
First it was my big sister and then it was me.
I didnât know much about my sisterâs matters, I had only met Chi Heng once. n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
I didnât understand why my sister wouldnât listen to father and insisted on marrying Chi Heng.
If she could enter the palace, wouldnât you be able to enjoy your life in endless glory, wealth, and status?
Yesâ¦â¦That was who I was at that time, how ridiculous.
What use was glory, status, and wealth?
If I could be with the one that I loved, even if it was living in seclusion in the mountains, even if it was working all day and night, I would be happy.
Of course, that realization came a bit too late.
I always regretted that the fate between us was a bit lacking. If I had a crush on you first, then it wouldnât have believed in love at first sight.
In the imperial gardens, my heart throbbed.
The me at the time didnât understand that throbbing. As soon as I thought about it, I said that you were a maid of my sisterâs palace and went with the flow.
I never thought that I would be such a person, calculating things like this.
She often said that I was disciplined and cautious, but I wasnât this kind of person.
Actuallyâ¦â¦I cared about things more than she thought, but she didnât know.
The first time that I talked to her was because of my sisterâs childâs death. Actually, I had felt that something was wrong at first, but I couldnât explain why.
There were many times where I didnât dare look into her eyes or get too close. I was always afraid that my heart beating fast would be heard by her in the silent night.
That heart seemed to be telling her how much I loved her.
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