This is a Reaffirmation

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My room wasn't dirty in the first place, but it could be tidied up. I put my journal on my bookshelf along with other books I had lying around. I organized my nightstand and closet. Folded and put up all the clothes that may have been on the ground. I made up my bed and dusted off the sheets. Then, I finished it all off by vacuuming the carpet, not just in my room, but the hallway too.

All in all, it took me a little over an hour, but it would be well worth it to go to this hangout session tonight. I sat on my daybed and wrote in my journal about what I was hoping would come out of tonight.

I have to make up with Celia and Piper. They were there for me before Banks. I kind of traded them in for him. There was something about him that made me feel like he meant everything he said. He could tell me a rock was gold, and I would second guess myself.

My brother thought that he just wanted to use me, but I was choosing to believe Banks. He made my heart flutter and my body quiver. Still, Jay was in the back of my mind. It wasn't long ago that he made me feel that way, but those days felt like a distant memory.

When I saw him, I saw the hurt he brought me. Hearing him ask me if things would be different if he dumped Liv at the beginning of the week put things in perspective for me.

Which one would I prefer? If they broke up at the beginning of the week and he told me all the things he did then, we would be together now. But would I have Banks? I never would have sat with him if I wasn't avoiding Jay.

No matter what I was glad I met him. He had an amazing soul and it was different to have someone be so honest with me. He knew what he did, and who he was, and he wasn't afraid to talk about it. I couldn't think about that though. Those were the choices we made, and we have the results.

Living in what-ifs wasn't healthy for anyone. Especially if an entire relationship was the what if I was questioning if I could bear without.

The sound of my phone ringing tore me out of my writing. I closed my journal and checked my phone. I had a vacant stare as I saw the caller's identification. It was my dad. Without thinking, I accepted the call, unplugged the phone, and ran downstairs.

"Dennis," I blurted out. He lifted his head as I ran in his direction. I plopped down on the couch beside him.

"Who is it," he drowsily said.

"Dad," I mouthed as I put the phone on speaker.

"Sunshine, are you there?" Dennis snatched the phone from me.

"This is Dennis," he gritted his teeth and balled up his hands like he could fight him through the phone.

The line stilled, "Son, it is so great to hear your voice."

Dennis winced at his words. "Is it really? You love to call and text Daya, but you never call me," he swallowed hard.

"You seemed upset and I wanted to give you time. Daya seemed more willing to hear me out. It wasn't because I love her more or anything remotely like that." I could see Mom's short blonde hair from my spot in the living room.

"Why did you call her? Do you want to yell more lies her way?" I could hear the hurt in Denny's voice.

"What have I lied about?" He sounded agitated.

"Hey Dad, I'm here too," I said trying to de-escalate the conversation before it went off the rails.

To me, he spoke calmly, "Hi sunshine, how was your day?"

Denny stood up, "No, you won't ignore me anymore! Daya is not the only child that you have!"

He poked himself in the chest, "I'm still here, and I'm still pissed off!"

Dad sighed, "Dennis, I want to apologize to you. I have many things that I need to apologize for, but I want to apologize to you specifically. My head wasn't in the right place when I came over the other day and I am sorry for what I did to you. You are my son, not a punching bag for me to release my anger onto. I'm so sorry son. I'm going to go to therapy to get my life together so I can be a part of yours. Do you think you could forgive me one day?" Dennis stilled and was blinking infrequently.

"I don't know." I stood beside him and rubbed his arm.

"That's okay. It's honest. I know that is a big ask, but-" Dennis hung up the phone before our father could get another word out.

"Are you okay?" He was vacantly staring at the space in front of us.

He trailed off, "How?"

My mom fully came into view as she walked over to us. "Dennis," she touched the side of his face and then put her hand on his shoulder. He started laughing but I could see that his eyes were moist.

"Oh honey," he sank into her arms.

"What... am, am I supposed to do?" He stuttered as his legs went limp.

I hugged him back, "Nothing, you don't have to do anything."

We stayed in that group hug position for a while until Mom pulled back. "Whew, that was intense," she gave a halfhearted smile.

She walked toward the kitchen without taking her eyes off of him. "I think dinner will put us all in better spirits. We haven't eaten since breakfast." We followed her into the kitchen.

Dennis and I sat at the island. "I was thinking barbeque chicken with a light salad, but if you want something different, I can do that."

I leaned on his shoulder, "That sounds like a good dinner to me."

Dennis wiped his eyes with his non-casted hand and nodded. "This," he tapped his cast. "This is a constant reminder of why I can't accept his apology."

Mom got the ingredients out, "Don't say that Dennis. The cast will come off and so will the one around your heart."

He looked to the side, "That sounds like a fairytale. No cast is going to fix my heart. My hand will heal, but I don't know about that."

"You have to have hope. I haven't given up on that," I tried to console him.

"Don't you have a party to go to," he snared.

Annoyed I glared at him and said, "Don't do that Dennis. This is important to me too. You're my brother. I love you more than any of them. If you need me here for you, then I will stay by your side."

He put my phone on the island. "I want to be alone. Call me down when dinner is ready," he slumped his shoulders whilst he left the kitchen.

Mom instructed, "Daya, will you mix the ingredients for the seasoning?"

"Yes, ma'am," I sighed.

A little bit later, she said, "Will you go get your brother?" Mom asked me as she took the chicken out of the oven.

When I got to his door upstairs it was locked. For a second, I thought he wasn't there. "Dennis," I asked. "The food is ready. There is extra barbeque sauce on your chicken, just the way you like it."

I wriggled the doorknob, "Please, Mom will be disappointed if you don't come down. It's my job to disappoint her. It'll be overkill if we both do it," I chuckled uncomfortably.

"I'll be there in a minute," he finally said.

I placed the plates on the dinner table, while mom set down the water. "He said that he will be down momentarily."

She frowned, "Did he seem alright?"

"I didn't see him. He had the door locked," I sat in my seat.

"Dennis is fine," Denny said as he cascaded down the staircase.

"I'm fine, Mom," he kissed her cheek before sitting down.

Towards me he reacted with, "You should go to your friend's house. I'm thinking about going out too."

"Mom, you want to go somewhere?" Dennis drowned his salad with ranch dressing.

Pushing her body forward she said, "Someone needs to stay home and watch the house. You two should go have fun. Reasonable fun and you have the same eleven-thirty curfews. Daya, I'm giving you an extra hour."

"I'll drop you off at Piper's house if you want me to," Dennis offered.

"Banks already offered to come and get me. Thank you for saying that," I didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"Mom already knows that he'll be there," it was obvious what Dennis was trying to do.

"Where are you going?" I bit into my chicken.

He shrugged, "I can go to the same party you're going to."

I kicked his foot, "It's not a party. There are going to be seven of us. I can give Mom the address and a list of people who are going to be there. Can you do that with your mystery location?"

I dropped my fork. "Is there something you want to tell me?" Mom questioned.

"Is there?" I recited her words.

"No," Dennis leaned back in his chair.

"It feels like something is going on here," she revealed the obvious.

"It's nothing apparently." Why was he doing that? It was like he wanted to get me in trouble for some reason.

My phone started ringing from inside the kitchen. "Excuse me," I said as I got up. It was Banks calling.

"Hey, you," I glumly said.

Still, on a high from this morning, he chirped, "Hey Day, is everything okay?"

I frowned, "I'm fine. Dennis is being a little prick," I mumbled.

"I was going to come to pick you up soon if that is okay with you." I could hear his little brothers running around in the background.

"Hurry, before this gets any more awkward," I whispered.

"I got to find something for Eric and Jude to eat and I will be right over." We said our goodbyes and then I found my way back to the dinner table.

Mom inquired, "Are you about to leave?"

"I wish but not yet. They're about to eat dinner too," I poked at my food.

"Be safe out there, both of you. Text me when you get there, and text me when you're coming home. Not while you're driving Dennis, but you know what I mean. Especially with your bad arm," she paused. "I think I'm done eating. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom."

When I heard the door to the bathroom close, I immediately turned to Dennis. "What was that?"

"Nothing, what's wrong with you?" He said passive-aggressively but with so much emotion behind it.

I slammed my hands on the table, "You want me to get in trouble, don't you? Why do you have such a big problem with him? You said you were going to stop controlling me."

He stood up, "You're upset with me about the lie you told, that's rich."

He took his and mom's plates to the kitchen. "I'm not lying. I'm going to a friend's house to hang out. There will be seven people there. I'm not going to be alone with him." I followed him into the kitchen with my plate.

"I know exactly what this is. I've played this game before, Daya. He's taking you to Neo's house. When you get there, he's going to want one thing from you and you know what that is," he growled in a last-ditch attempt to change my mind.

"That's not true. He isn't trying to take advantage of me. What if I wanted that one thing too?" I wanted to show him that I wasn't that little girl who needed her big brother to save the day.

We tried to keep our voices low. "Ew, that's literally the last thing I want to hear from my little sister."

Boldly I spoke, "If I feel like he's the right person and I choose to lose my virginity to him then I will. And none of your forewarnings will change that."

"But you don't. You know that, and he isn't the type of guy that's going to take that well. I've seen him make this same play before. I've made this play before, so I know what I'm telling you is the exact truth. If I were you, I would stay home and watch Christmas specials with Mom." He snatched my plate from my hand and put it in the sink.

He turned his back on me. "He told me that he doesn't do that type of thing anymore. I believe him, he should be able to move on from those experiences."

"You believe him over me. I have every reason to be truthful and he has every reason to lie." He hit his casted hand on the wall and tried to hide the pain it brought. He tried to hide everything from everyone.

He attempted to storm off but I wouldn't let him. "I don't think you're lying! I think you have old information! Do you think he has no chance of redemption? Because if he doesn't then you don't either!"

Mom walked out of the bathroom and said, "What are you fighting about now?" I picked up my phone and put my teddy coat back on.

"I'm going to wait for him outside. Love you, Mom," and I closed the door behind me. I scrolled through my contacts for Banks' number. Please pick it up, I thought.

"Hey, tell me you are down the street because I need to get away from my brother as soon as possible," I tapped my foot on the porch.

"I'm leaving my house now," it sounded like he almost dropped his phone. "What did he do?"

I grunted, "I'll tell you when you get here, but I want to leave."

A few minutes later, my mom walked outside to see me sitting on the steps. "What did he say?"

She sat down beside me. "Your brother is worried about you. He wants you to be safe, just like I do."

I exhaled noisily, "I'm not in any danger. If something goes wrong, I will call, and you can come get me. Banks doesn't want to put me in harm's way either."

She pulled me into her side and stroked my hair. "I know you believe that, but it's better to be safe than sorry. We all want what's best for you."

We watched as headlights waved at each other when cars went by. Banks' white truck stopped in front of my yard. His headlights turned off and soon after he got out of the truck. Mom and I stood up as he got closer.

"Hi, Mrs. Johnston," he extended his hand out to her.

"Hello, Oliver, I have heard so much about you," she smiled.

"It's great to finally meet you," he kissed her hand.

I watched him flash his signature smile. "I'm here too," I joked.

"Well, I have met you before," he held my hand. "I promise I will get her home on time."

"That time is eleven-thirty," I squeezed his hand.

"Oh, she will be home way before that," he nodded.

I rolled my eyes, "Are you kicking me out already? We haven't even got there yet."

"The whole group is waiting for us, so we should go. I hope we can talk longer next time, Mrs. Johnston."

She shook his hand again, "That would be wonderful. I'll be looking forward to it."

I peered at my mom, who was still on the porch, as we drove away. "Okay, what did Dennis say to you? I'm guessing it was about how terrible of a person I am."

I tapped his nose, "Bingo! I know this is stupid because you already know this. But, I feel like I should reaffirm this to you. We are not, and I repeat, we are not having sex tonight."

He smirked, "Where is your mind at? I didn't think we were."

"I know that. However, Denny thinks that all this is some elaborate ruse to get me alone and in bed with you," I grumbled with residual anger.

He grumbled, "He's still on that."

"He says that he's doing this to protect me from harm. I know you wouldn't hurt me." And that was what I honestly believed at the time.

*And we are nearing the end here people! I can't believe we'll be done with the story on Thursday! Are y'all cool with a double upload on Thursday?

How do y'all feel about Dennis? He has so much going on.

Please remember to follow, comment, and share!*