Do or Die

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We parked a few feet away from the playground down the street from my home. "I take it back, let's spend the whole day together," I mused. He whisked falling strands of hair out of my face.

I hummed, "Did you really mean what you said earlier... about me using you?"

He continued stroking my brown locks. "Yeah," he said composedly. "Everything happened so suddenly, I suppose. Then, came last night. I might've been projecting a bit from what I did to Celia." I shifted and turned his chin so that I could peer into his blue eyes.

"I never would've let last night happen if I didn't care for you." It felt like someone turned the heater on inside my body, and I couldn't hold our gaze any longer.

"I've never... done anything like that before," I murmured shyly.

My heartbeat quickened. "That's why I freaked out after. But then, you made me feel so comfortable and safe. Right after I left a situation I didn't feel safe in. I trust you enough to be vulnerable with you. I trust you not to brag about it or be disrespectful. Sexual things like that are important to me and I wouldn't let just anyone touch me the way you did. I know that it happened instantly, but I didn't choose to feel this way about you. But I took a chance, and I'm glad it did."

His warm lips pressed against my forehead, yet I still wouldn't look up at him. "I'm glad you did too."

He tilted his head down, trying to find my eyes. "Day," he whispered.

I looked up at him and then back to the armrest. "I'm not crying, but there is always a fifty percent chance that I am," my laugh transposed into a whine.

I closed my eyes shut as he coolly elevated my jaw up. "Yeah, I know. I care about you too."

He kissed my nose, and I giggled. Our noses touched and then our lips followed. A thoughtful, tender kiss that didn't go further than that, but held a special position in my heart.

"I should go," I grudgingly said as I confined myself in his limbs.

"You have to let go of me first," he quipped.

I bit his bottom lip, "I promise we will talk later today."

He goofily smiled at me, "You still haven't let go."

I loosened my grip on him a little bit, "You might have to push me out of the truck."

He shook both of my shoulders, and I leaned back against the car window, "Okay!"

I grabbed the handle when he said, "Diya, I'm going to need my jacket back."

I instantaneously turned back around, "How could she mispronounce my name? It's spelled Daya. The first three letters are D-A-Y! My nickname is Day not Die!"

We both erupted into laughter. "It's time to day or die," he jested. "Like do or die."

Opening the door I stated, "Okay that joke is pushing me out of this car."

I hopped out and closed the door. I could still hear his laughter from outside the truck. "Goodbye," I shouted. His wave could be seen past the window.

Taking a few steps down the street, my ears set in the sound of a honk. Thus, I stopped in my tracks and spun around rapidly. He honked repeatedly so I ran back to the truck with an extra pep in my step. At that moment, I realized I still had his jacket on. "Really," I yelled as I took it off and placed it on the passenger's seat.

"Your mom is going to know that's not Piper's jacket." That made sense, but still.

I asked in a teasing manner. "Are you going to watch me walk to my house?"

"I want to make sure you get in safe." He said like it made the most sense in the world. We both knew I couldn't leave him without stealing another kiss. In a rush, I brought our lips together and kissed him like I wouldn't be able to ever again. Honestly, I could've stayed there in that one moment with him for the rest of time.

"You're sweet," I leaned back and he pulled me in for one more. I giggled at his action and waved before exiting the truck and closing the door.

"Bye Diya," he yelled. A smile carried me all the way down the street.

When I got in front of my house, I looked back at his truck. He flashed his lights at me before turning around in the middle of the street. I watched Dark Knight disappear from my eyesight.

The door opened as I stood out in the driveway with my eyes on the street. "Daya!" I saw Dennis standing in the doorway, "Get inside, now!" Marching past the threshold and my brother, I made sure to ram into his shoulder.

"Where were you?" My mom came rushing past Denny and wrapped her arms around me, knocking me back outside.

"Mom, I'm fine," I patted her back.

She asked me with worry in her eyes, "Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, Piper fed me. I'm sorry I didn't call. Time got ahead of me," I spoke gradually as lies spewed from my mouth. I knew it was a necessary evil. She would've been even more distressed if she found out that I was out all night with a boy she'd never heard of.

She pulled me inside and Denny slammed the door shut. "Do you have Piper's number or her mother's?"

I patted my pockets and realized that my phone was nowhere to be seen, "I can get it for you."

"I need to go... change," I noted as I remembered my odd fashion selection, but that was the furthest concept in my mother's mind.

"Okay, but then come right back down. We need to talk," she said sternly but she sounded drained.

Nodding, I murmured, "Yes we do." I knew when I came back I would be in for an earful from Mom and Dennis that I wasn't equipped for.

I headed upstairs and into my room like it was the most secure area I could be in. I dug into my jean pockets and it really dawned on me that I didn't have my phone.

"Dang it," I stomped. I must have left it in Bank's car. And I didn't know his number by heart, so I couldn't call him. How would I explain that? I rattled on in my mind.

Without speculating about it, I took my prescription and then delved into my dresser to find a sweater that would blanket my entire uppermost half. I hoped a light grey turtleneck wouldn't be too suspicious. It's winter and I'll tell her I want to talk on the front porch.

Gliding it on accompanied by matching sweatpants, I went into my bathroom. I did all the typical morning stuff just later than usual. It's not as if he would tamper with my phone or go through it. There were so many messages from Jay and me in there that he could misconstrue. Those insights wavered from my head as I walked back downstairs and into an enormous imbroglio.

"Do you want to sit outside?" I said aspiring to appear as easygoing as feasible yet I was internally freaking out.

My mom and I sat on the patio chairs, and Dennis sat on the stairs. They both looked at me expectantly but I was at a loss for words before I crash-landed on, "Yesterday, before the game and before I went to Piper's house, I saw my dad."

Dennis squinted his eyes, "What do you mean you saw him?"

"When I had my panic attack yesterday it wasn't purely because I hadn't been taking my medicine," I paused. "Dad texted me and asked if I wanted to see him after school."

My mom said, "Honey, you should've told us."

I put my hands in my lap, "I know, but I wasn't going to go at first and we all got into an argument that morning. I just wanted to pretend it didn't happen. It was easier to blame the meds and it did play a part in it."

"What did he say?" I could hear rage saturated with curiosity in Denny's speech.

"He said a variety of things and took me to his apartment in the city," I stared off into the wintery ambiance and apart from their judgemental eyes.

My mom was visibly upset, "You didn't have permission to do that."

I acknowledged, "I felt like I needed to go. Would you have let me go if I had asked?"

She frowned, "I've never tried to keep you away from your father. I want both of you to have a relationship with him."

Dennis hit the railing in a huff, "He doesn't deserve it! What could you possibly say to make any of this better?"

"Nothing, he can't and didn't make me feel any better! He yelled in my face and told me horrifying stories." That may have been an understatement. My feelings were much more complex than that but Dennis didn't need to hear it.

My mom rubbed my shoulder, "What stories?"

I looked at her with misty eyes, "He told me what happened the night he left which was vaguely similar to the first time it happened. He told me why he kept hurting you. He told me about what happened with Dennis. But, I kind of didn't let him finish so there are still some details I don't know."

"Specifics, Daya," Dennis snapped in a way that I had begun to see a bunch.

"Give your sister time. Take a deep breath, baby," mom said.

"He said that you need discipline, but he would apologize if you gave him that chance. I do think he loves us, all of us, Denny. Maybe you should try talking to him."

He shook his head furiously, "That doesn't matter now."

My mom looked over at him, "Of course, that matters."

He stood up and walked down the stairs, "Does it? Look at what he did to me!" He lifted his cast, "What was this a love hit? Is this what people who love each other do," he hollered.

"Calm down," our mom whisper-yelled.

"No! She was alone with him. He could have done anything to her! You shouldn't have gone by yourself," he grimaced.

"If only you could see yourself. You look so much like him," tears fell down my face.

"Don't start, Little Miss," he jostled his pointer finger into my face and I promptly clutched it.

I got up, "We act the way we do because of him! Nevertheless, we need to do better and be better Dennis or the cycle will continue on and on. You don't want to be, but you may turn out just like him."

"I would never do half of the things that he did to us," he faced his body out towards the road.

"He probably thought the same thing! No one wakes up one day and starts abusing their wife for no reason," I took a deep breath.

My words seemed to go over his head. "He did it because he thought he could get away with it! It made him feel like a man to have power over her! Have you ever done anything for that same reason?"

"I know I have. We're more like him than we want to admit. He raised us. He embedded certain character values into us. And even though all of this has happened. There were moments where I looked at him and I saw the man I grew up with and I miss him," I tried to keep their attention. Mom clutched the side of her chair.

"If we don't learn from him, we may become him," I sprinted back inside and slammed the door.

Stomps followed me through the living room accompanied by fierce words. "You don't get to walk away from this," he raged.

"Daya Nicole!" I stopped just short of the kitchen.

"Dennis Mason," I shouted back.

"What are you going to do?" He stood in front of the couch glaring at me.

I raised both of my arms into the air, "What?"

My mom rushed in with disgust in her eyes. "I can't believe the two of you. We are a family. We take care of each other, not whatever this is," she made her way in between us.

"Both of you go to your rooms and cool off," she said with defeat evident in her voice. Dennis walked off without saying a word to either of us. On his way upstairs, he punched the wall with his casted hand and even though he played it off, I knew it hurt.

I walked a few steps closer to my mom, "I'm sorry for what I did," I confessed.

"Go to your room. We can discuss it later." I nodded with tears behind my eyes before I headed upstairs.

"I'm sorry," I whispered before I lost her from my sight.

*Y'all I know what's coming and it's so good! We have thirteen or so parts left so stay with me, you guys!

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