By Frenzy I Ruin: Chapter 40

After his midday nap, I cuddled longer than usual with Battista. Maybe I was overreacting, but I was really worried the Falcones would decide to take him from me so he could live under the same roof with Nevio. Eventually, I couldn’t postpone Nevio meeting his son anymore, and deep down, I knew it was the only right thing to do, to give these two a chance to form a bond. So far in his short life, Battista had spent hardly any time with his father, and I really hoped it would change now. Dad was such an important part of my life. I couldn’t imagine being without him.

Battista was good on his feet, so he and I walked over to the Falcone mansion, his small hand secured in mine. My stomach coiled tightly when I slipped through the open French windows into the common room where Nevio waited for us. He sat on the sofa, bent forward, his arms propped up on his thighs, looking thoughtful. This side of Nevio was new and surprising. I really hope it meant he’d grown up.

He looked up and smiled a honest smile, then pushed to his feet. “Hey, Battista.”

Battista didn’t remember him, which wasn’t surprising as he’d only spend very little time with Nevio in his life and hadn’t seen him in a while. At Nevio’s attention, Battista pressed himself against me and tugged at my clothes, his request to be picked up. I bent down and lifted him into my arms. He pressed his cheek against my chest and regarded Nevio from there.

Nevio didn’t try to approach us. “You don’t remember me, right?”

Battista only stared. He wasn’t a talker, could only say about twenty words, and never when you expected him to. His motor skills were definitely his strength.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. Should I introduce Nevio as his father, or would that confuse Battista at this point and make everything worse? I’d often told him stories about his dad, that he had to leave for a while—something I’d always hoped—to be a hero. A white lie because Battista needed a hero in his life, even if Nevio hadn’t gone to fight for a good cause. He’d gone to help the Camorra in Italy. He’d also run, but Battista didn’t need to know that.

Nevio motioned at something beside the armrest of the sofa, a ride-on car that looked a bit like his Ram. “I hope you like trucks.”

Battista lifted his head off my shoulder, definitely interested. “He loves cars, and diggers, tractors, forklifts, trucks…” I grinned down at Battista. I would have never thought I’d ever spend so much time looking at images of construction vehicles and dinosaurs…

When I looked up, I caught Nevio staring at me.

“Do you want to ride it?” he asked after a moment.

Battista gave a small nod, so I put him down on the ground. He grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the car. Once there, he mounted it and started racing through the living room with it. He bumped against pretty much every piece of furniture, but that only seemed to make him happier, judging by his boisterous laughter.

“That reminds me of you as a little boy,” Serafina said from the doorway.

I hadn’t noticed her before. She leaned against the doorframe with a soft smile as she watched Battista race around. She wore a long flowy dress that hid her bloated belly. She had started taking hormones so she could eventually carry Greta’s babies for her.

“You never had this angelic smile on your face when I barreled into furniture.” Nevio scoffed.

“It’s different,” she said with a shrug, and her eyes caught mine. I could tell that she felt as emotional as I did. Serafina and Remo had stepped up as family for Battista from the moment they’d found out about him. They’d supported me without hesitation. Remo appeared behind his wife and also watched the scene unfolding in the living room. I wondered if they expected me to leave so the four of them could share a moment. I wasn’t part of the Falcone clan, but I couldn’t leave Battista.

He took a turn around the sofa too sharply and toppled over with the ride-on car so his forehead bumped against a leg of the side table. He immediately burst into tears, his eyes seeking mine. “Mom! Mom!”

I rushed over to him and knelt beside him. I picked him up and blew on the already forming bruise. It wasn’t too bad, more of a shock than anything else, but I kept blowing until his cries eased and he only sniffed, already giving the ride-on car a side-eye. “Ready to try again?” I asked with a laugh.

He nodded enthusiastically, so I helped him right the ride-on car and settle on it. Nevio came a bit closer and cheered Battista on, who visibly relaxed over time.

“I’ll prepare snacks for Battista,” Serafina said with a smile at me. Did she want me to join her so Nevio could be alone with Battista?

I nodded. “I’ll help you.”

Remo moved toward Nevio to watch Battista as I headed for Serafina despite my reluctance. It was stupid of me to be this attached. Remo and Serafina, and also Kiara, Nino, Gemma, and Savio had watched Battista without me before. Even Massimo and Alessio had on occasion kept an eye on Battista for a short time.

“Mom!” Battista called.

I turned. He’d stopped racing and watched me leave with big eyes.

“No go!”

I raised my arms in surrender, relief surging through me. “I’ll stay.”

“I’ll help Fina,” Remo said and walked out with her. I focused on Battista, not Nevio, still unsure what I felt about his return. I was glad for the constant visits of other Falcones, especially when Massimo and Alessio showed up and settled on the sofa to play blocks with Battista. It prevented Nevio and me from having another private conversation.

Battista didn’t leave my side while he and I spend a few hours with Nevio. Serafina and Remo came in twice more to check on us, obviously curious how things were going, and Kiara brought us cookies after Battista had finished his fruit and vegetable platter.

I wondered if Nevio being back meant his family would insist on Battista moving into the Falcone mansion. I couldn’t imagine being separated from him, but what could I really do if they decided that was what should happen.

What my daughter Greta so desperately wanted—a child—had been thrown into Nevio’s lap, but he hadn’t been willing and able to accept the responsibility that came with it.

Seeing him trying to form a bond with his son, who didn’t even remember him anymore, tore at my heart. I still wasn’t sure he was ready for the task, that he was 100 percent willing to do what needed to be done to be a father. Sacrifice and thoughtfulness came with the task.

I still wanted to protect Nevio. He was my son, and I would always feel a deep sense of motherly protectiveness for him. But I felt even more protective of Battista because he needed my protection more than his father did, because he was helpless and in need of love. I worried that Nevio felt that I wasn’t on his side, which wasn’t true, because deep down, I knew that one day he’d realize protecting his son was also protecting him from a world of guilt and regret.

It was an hour past Battista’s bedtime when I went over to the Scuderi mansion. I’d seen worry and fear in Aurora’s eyes tonight. Through the patio door, I could see Leona sitting in a silk dressing gown at the dining room table, bowed over paperwork. I knocked at the French window, and she looked up disoriented. When she spotted me, she got up with a worried expression and opened the door for me. “Hey Fina, what’s up?”

“I’d like to have a word with Aurora, if she’s awake?”

Leona regarded me with growing concern and the protectiveness I knew too well. “Battista took a long time to fall asleep tonight. She’s on the treadmill now. Today was a lot to take in for Battista and for Aurora. She’s been giving everything for this boy since day one.”

I smiled understandingly. “I’m not here to take anything from Aurora. She’s like his mother, and nothing in this world would ever make me separate a child from a loving mother.”

Leona nodded and finally stepped back, allowing me to enter. We had been friends for a long time, and I didn’t blame her one bit for how she’d just acted. I would have done the same, and I appreciated her even more for it.

“Is Fabiano still working?” I asked. He had been gone all day, which was probably for the best, considering his fury toward Nevio, but eventually, those two would have to settle their disagreement.

She let out a sigh. “He’s not ready to come home, knowing that Nevio is here. He’s holding a grudge.”

We both knew that was the understatement of the year. Fabiano was furious, and if Nevio wasn’t Remo’s son, I was sure he would have tried to kill him. Aurora hadn’t given us any details, but we all realized that something had happened between Nevio and her, and it was pretty clear that Nevio had broken her heart. Again, I couldn’t blame Fabiano for feeling murderous. If someone had broken Greta’s heart… I would have become a fire-spitting dragon.

And I liked Aurora. Scratch that, I adored her. She was kind and tough, and responsible despite her young age. She was someone I wished at Nevio’s side. I wasn’t sure I wished it on her to be with him, though. I loved my son, but I wasn’t blind. Aurora deserved better. Had Nevio changed enough to be deserving of her? Today, he’d tried to bond with Battista, giving Aurora the space she needed. But I wasn’t stupid. What happened when those two were alone would determine their chances.

I eventually found Aurora in the gym. She had headphones on, but I could still hear the fast beat of the music as she raced on the treadmill at what must have been full speed. She wasn’t working out for the sake of it.

She spotted me, surprise then worry flitting across her red and sweaty face. I waved and smiled, hoping to reassure her I came in peace.

She slowed the treadmill to a stand, then wiped her face and took the headphones off before she stepped down. “Serafina,” she said hesitantly. “What’s wrong?”

“I want to talk about Battista with you.”

I could see her walls coming up, could see her body tensing, her mouth setting in a thin line. She was preparing for a confrontation, and if I’d come here to take him from her, she would have put up a fight. I stifled a smile. She’d really become a true mother to this poor child. My conversation with Kiara rang in my ears, how quickly she had felt like Alessio’s mother, and I could tell it was the same for Aurora even if their stories were vastly different. Aurora hadn’t been ready for a child. She’d been on the cusp of figuring out her own life, but she’d put it on hold and made Battista the center of her life.

“Nevio wants to be Battista’s father. He still has a long road ahead of him. Today proved that. But I want you to know that even if Nevio’s bond with his son grows, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re Battista’s mother. Nobody in my family would ever consider taking the boy from you. I want Nevio to see his son, but unless you and him move in together, I would never suggest Battista living with him. The boy should always live with you as he’s been doing since Nevio gave him to you. Remo and I agree on this, so please don’t worry that anyone’s going to doubt your right to this child.”

Aurora stared at me and swallowed hard. She gave a terse nod then walked over to a bench and sank down. She buried her face in a towel and her shoulders began to shake as she succumbed to sobs.

I rushed over to her, plopped down beside her and wrapped an arm around her. “I’m sorry that this has been weighing so heavily on you. I thought you knew that Remo would never consider taking Battista from you.”

Aurora rubbed her face with the towel then peered up at me with swollen eyes. “He’s a Falcone. On paper and by blood.”

“And by heart he’s yours,” I said softly. “I’m gladly his grandmother, even if it’s still hard to stomach that I’m old enough to be one.”

Especially since I was trying to carry a child for Greta soon.

Aurora laughed along with me. “You don’t look it, if that’s a consolation.”

I sighed. “I know you probably have no reason to believe it, but Nevio loves you. I see it in his eyes, and even if I probably shouldn’t talk to you about it, he admitted it to me when he first came back. I know he’s more than most can handle. I know he has many faults. I know in many people’s eyes, he’s beyond redemption, but so was his father. Still is in most people’s eyes. I hated him for a while, then hated and loved him, then wanted to hate him, and eventually I just loved him. It hasn’t always been easy, but I never regretted becoming Remo’s wife, or accepting his love, and who he was and will always be.”

“To be honest, I could never understand how you forgave him for kidnapping you.”

I laughed. “To be honest, I don’t always either, but I did, and not just because of Nevio and Greta. It’s hard to explain, but I guess love always is. I know Nevio hurt you too, even if I don’t know what exactly he did, and I’m not telling you to forgive him. I just ask you to listen to your heart. I know you’re the person Nevio needs by his side. I know having you and Battista in his life would make it easier for him to become an even better version of himself. But I want you to know that I won’t blame you if you won’t or can’t give him another chance.”

I got up and squeezed Aurora’s shoulder. “Sleep well.” I turned and left. I’d said what I wanted to say, and now things were out of my hand. I wasn’t sure if Aurora would give Nevio another chance.

Remo was in bed when I came into the bedroom. His expression tightened with concern upon seeing me. “I hope Nevio didn’t do anything to cause this look.”

He was angry. He’d never understood why Nevio had left. For him, Nevio should have fought harder to maintain control and taken responsibility. Seeing how wary Battista was of Nevio had awakened his anger again.

“I talked to Aurora.”

“I hope you didn’t try to talk her into forgiving our son. Because I’m not sure he won’t fuck up again.”

I gave him a stern look as I changed into my nightgown. “He won’t, Remo. I talked to him. He’s determined to win her back, to be a father for Battista, to take over more responsibilities in the Camorra.”

“Just took him a year. A year he won’t get back with his son. I always regretted not getting to experience many first with the twins, and he just threw the chance away.”

“He did, but I think he did it out of responsibility. He knew he was on the verge of something bad and didn’t want Battista and Aurora to be affected by it.”

“He and I, all of us Falcone men are always potentially on the verge of something bad. It’s in our blood, in our nature. He can’t always run. He’ll have to face his demons and shackle them.”