By Frenzy I Ruin: Chapter 39

Six months later I chased Battista across the lawn. He was surprisingly fast with his short legs. He stumbled over a bump on the ground and went flying. He didn’t cry, only peered up at me with a look of puzzlement. “Not so fast,” I said with a smile as I picked him up, dusted him off and set him back on his feet.

My eyes slanted to movement on the patio in front of the Falcone mansion. It was early on a Sunday, and usually, the only people awake at that time were Massimo and Nino for their morning swim. But it wasn’t them.

Nevio stood on the patio in swim shorts and a black T-shirt that stuck to his wet skin.

I froze. Nobody had warned me that he would be back, that he was right here in Las Vegas. When had he returned? I’d spent the day before with Carlotta in the hospital as she recovered from pneumonia, so I hadn’t been over at the Falcone mansion. Serafina had watched Battista all day, and Mom had picked him up in the evening for me.

I hadn’t seen or talked to Nevio in nine months. I wasn’t sure what exactly he’d been up to in all this time while I’d taken care of Battista like a mother. He’d probably fucked his way through the Italian girls.

I’d never asked Remo. I hadn’t wanted to know. Nevio had decided to extract himself from my life, from Battista’s life, and I had decided to do the same with him as far as my subconscious allowed, because my dreams and nightmares were still filled with him.

And now he was back.

His eyes slanted to me. Something had changed about him. He seemed even taller, more grown up, harder in a sense but also more serious.

I kept on walking, following Battista who made a beeline for the sandpit. I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of his appearance. I didn’t want it to be. I’d worked my hardest to forget him. I knew I’d have to interact with him because of Battista, if Nevio wanted to see his son, which I truly hoped even if part of me dreaded how close that would bring Nevio and me again. Part of me was even scared. What if Nevio had found someone? A nice Italian girl to marry who wanted to raise Battista with her. He wasn’t my son, but he felt like it, and I was terrified of losing him. Few people understood why I’d so easily adapted to a life full of responsibilities at my age, but I’d never been a party girl.

Steps followed me, and I took a deep breath, knowing what was to come. I’d prepared for this moment for months, had replayed what I’d say, but now his sudden appearance threw me off completely.

“Rory, wait.” Nevio’s voice sounded deeper, more adult. How was that possible in less than a year?

Battista had reached the sandpit and played with the sand molds. I turned slowly, keeping my expression neutral. Nevio stopped right in front of me. He had a new scar on his chin, a white line in his otherwise tanned face. He must have spent plenty of time enjoying the south Italian sun.

“You’re back,” I said, sounding surprisingly unemotional. It was a good thing Nevio couldn’t see into my heart, though, because that one was a complete mess.

Nevio’s eyes traveled the length of me. Droplets of water trailed down his face. His shorts clung to his body, accentuating every inch of his abs. “You look even more gorgeous than I dreamed about.”

My heart skipped a beat hearing those words. He’d never said anything like it before. Instead of letting his praise mollify me, I scoffed. “Really? You never once called, and you probably got it on with countless girls, and now that you’re back, you want me to believe that you dreamed about me? I’m sorry, maybe past Aurora was this stupid, but I’m not, and I’m not going back to being like her.”

Nevio nodded and took a step closer. “I never lied to you, Rory. And I won’t start now. If I tell you I dreamed about you every fucking night, then that’s the absolute truth.” His voice had a slight growl to it that sent a shiver through my body. It reminded me of past encounters that a part of me desperately wanted to relive, but I wouldn’t let that part of me win this time.

“And about me fucking countless girls…You are the last girl I fucked, and if I get my will, you’ll remain the last girl until I die.”

I didn’t allow his words, words I’d so desperately wanted to hear a year ago, weaken my resolve. “So you intend to stay abstinent for the rest of your life?” I congratulated myself silently at how tough and sarcastic I sounded. A quick glance at Battista showed that he was so immersed in his sand play that he didn’t pay attention to us. He didn’t recognize Nevio, that much was clear.

One corner of Nevio’s mouth pulled up in a sly grin, and he chuckled. “I guess I deserve that.”

“Oh no, you deserve far worse for the shit you’ve put me and, worse, Battista through. And I wasn’t joking. I won’t sleep with you. It caused a mess last time, and it’ll cause a mess again. I don’t want that. I don’t that in my life.”

His eyes flickered with bitterness. “Oh, Rory, I know you don’t need me or the fucking mess I was and probably still am in some ways. You’re tough as steel the way you took care of Battista. The way you handled everything. But you know what?” Nevio leaned down so we were almost at eye level. I tensed, ready to shove him away if he tried to kiss me. He didn’t.

“I need you. I want you. And I will stop at nothing until I get you. Until I’ve proven to you that I deserve you. At absolutely nothing.”

His eyes darted to Battista. “And I’ll prove that I can be a good father for my son too.”

“What makes you think I’m still available? You were gone for a year. What if I moved on and am dating someone?”

Nevio shook his head. “You want to get me out of your head, but I’m still in there. I can see it in your eyes. And I know you wouldn’t have moved on to someone else so quickly, especially not when you had Battista to take care of.”

I glared. He was right. I hadn’t had time, or the mind frame, to see anyone. Battista, my work at the Camorra hospital where I’d started to learn everything I needed to work as a nurse, and Carlotta’s health problems had kept me busy. “You probably had Massimo and Alessio give you updates about my love life anyway, so you could fly in and ruin it if you felt like it.”

“I’m not a good guy. I’m a very, very bad guy, trying to be a slightly less bad version of myself. Letting the girl that I want more than anything in the world see other guys isn’t part of my self-improvement strategy, I’m afraid. So yes, if I’d found out a guy would have made a move on you, I would have made sure he regretted it.”

I wasn’t really surprised. I wasn’t even as annoyed as I should have been. Part of me loved Nevio exactly for that reason, no matter how crazy it sounded. Maybe it was in my genes. Mom had fallen for Dad, even though she hadn’t even grown up in the mafia world, even though she’d known he was bad news and even after he’d killed her father. Falling for bad men seemed my fate. Could you evade fate?

“Battista wants to play in the sand for a bit. I can bring him over once you’ve changed into dry clothes so you can spend some time with him, if that’s part of your self-improvement strategy?” I cocked an eyebrow like he liked to do.

Aside from my anger for how he’d treated me, I was even more furious for how he’d just abandoned Battista, his own son, when he needed him most. I wasn’t sure how he ever wanted to make up for it. Battista was still young, not even two years old, so maybe he’d eventually forget that his father had missed so much of his early life.

“I’m going to step up now, Rory. I’m not going to half ass it again. I’m here to stay, here to take responsibility for my son, for you.”

“You don’t have any responsibility when it comes to me, Nevio. We’re not a couple. You left. You moved on.” I smiled tensely. “But I’m glad you decided to finally be a father for your son. He deserves a good father.”

Battista briefly looked up from the sand, probably because of my tense voice, but after a smile from me, he focused on the sand castle in front of him.

“From what I hear, he has a good mom already,” he said, his dark eyes softening.

I swallowed hard. “Someone had to take care of him. He’s been abandoned often enough in his short life.”

“You didn’t have to. You could have handed that responsibility over to my parents. They wouldn’t have expected you to help them.”

“That responsibility is a little boy who already lost his mother and then his father because they both didn’t want him. By the time you left, Battista had formed a bond with me. Handing him to your parents would have been another hard hit in his short life. I couldn’t do that. Not before I was sure he wouldn’t suffer.”

“You still haven’t. You’re still taking care of him, and Dad said he started calling you Mom.”

My heart swelled thinking of it. It had shocked me to my core when Battista had called me Mom one morning when he’d woken beside me in bed, and he’d kept doing it ever since. “I didn’t make him. He just started it.”

“Because you act like a mom should.”

I didn’t say anything to that. I felt like Battista’s mom, which was strange because I’d really never intended to let it happen. What had been meant as a temporary solution, had turned into something I didn’t want to lose. Battista had become part of my life. I supposed that what he and his father had in common. They’d both wormed their way into my heart and simply wouldn’t leave.

He motioned at my clothes. “You even wear matching outfits.” Battista and I both wore short denim overalls, which had happened by accident.

“When you bring Battista over, I thought we three could spend some time together,” Nevio said.

My first instinct was to say no. I didn’t want to spend time with Nevio. But I was also worried about how Battista would react to Nevio trying to spend time with him, so I nodded. I squared my shoulders and narrowed my eyes. “Battista was left twice. Once by his birth mother and once by you. I hope you’re one-hundred percent sure that you’ve come to stay and not run off again, because I’m sick of picking up the pieces after you. I don’t want Battista to get to know you again, to spend time with you again, only to have that taken from him yet again.”

Nevio gave me a strange smile. “This is exactly why I won’t stop until you’re mine, why I left Battista in your care. There’s no better person in this rotten world than you.” He kissed my cheek, startling me. “I won’t run. I’ll stay, because of Battista, because of you.” He pulled back. I took a few steps back and cleared my throat. “You should probably go inside before you catch a cold, and I’m sure your family wants to talk to you.”

“Except for Dad, no one knows I’m back, and he only found out last night when he ran across me in the common room. But I’ll give you some time to yourself now.” He headed for the patio and disappeared inside. I let out a shaky breath and walked over to Battista. He showed me what he’d build so far, and I smiled in response, even if it cost me. My thoughts were a mess. I needed time to wrap my mind around it.

My decision to return home had been spontaneous. I’d felt ready for a few weeks, but then one day I’d simply known it was time. I was still a messed-up motherfucker, but I felt like I wasn’t haunted by this irresistible urge to kill anymore. I felt more centered.

Twenty-four hours after my decision, I had already been on a plane back home. I hadn’t told anyone, except for a text to Alvize before I’d boarded.

When I entered the code to the Falcone mansion after midnight, I felt a sense of belonging that I hadn’t in a long time. This house and city were my home. I’d missed both, but especially the people who made this place special. My family and Aurora of course.

The house was silent when I stepped inside and made my way into the common room.

I sank down on the comfy couch and crossed my arms behind my head, letting out a sigh. Fuck, this felt right.

Steps sounded. Heavy, male steps.

“You better be a burglar because if this is who I think it is, I’m going to have to kick his ass for another solo run,” Dad muttered.

I opened my eyes with a tired smile. He towered over me, in pajama bottoms, and with a stern look. But he wasn’t really angry. I knew all of his angry expressions, and this wasn’t one.

“It’s good to be back.”

Dad didn’t say anything for a while, then asked, “Are you back for good?”

“I am,” I said. “This is where I belong.”

“Took you a long time to realize it. Your mom will be ecstatic to have you back.”

I pushed to my feet. “And you?”

Dad pulled me against him and patted my back hard. “You belong here.” He moved back. “I think you know that not everyone is going to be excited about your return.”

“Aurora.”

“And Fabiano. He’s still pissed at you.”

“I’ll talk to him. I’m sure I can make him see reason.”

“You are not the person I’d pick to make someone see reason without torture.”

I smirked. “I’ve gone through some self-improvements.”

“I hope those updates are better than the ones on my phone because those are making me murderous.”

“I should probably head to bed. I want to beat jet lag and get up early.”

Tomorrow would be a busy day, and one with many emotional ups and downs.

I ran a hand through my hair when I entered the mansion after my morning swim, after having met Aurora again.

I hadn’t expected to see her yet. It was only seven in the morning. I went into the kitchen for a coffee and a protein shake. Dry clothes could wait.

I hadn’t even finished my first coffee when Mom’s voice made me jump.

“Nevio!” I turned, only for her to fall into my arms and hug me tightly. I rested my chin on Mom’s head and waited for her to calm. When she pulled back, she slapped my chest hard. “Don’t you dare leave again.”

“I won’t.”

She looked down at her now wet bathrobe, then up at me. “You’re dripping water all over the floor.”

“I missed your early morning nagging the most.”

She slapped my chest again. “Get out of your shirt at least, if you don’t want to go up and change.”

I pulled my shirt up over my head and draped it over a chair. Mom’s eyes immediately registered the tattoo on my chest.

“What—” She went silent as realization settled on her face. “You have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to win her over.”

“I know.”

The door banged open again, and Alessio and Massimo walked in.

They both noticed the tattoo of course.

“Back to cause trouble, I see,” Alessio said with a shake of his head and clapped my hand before he pulled me in for a brief hug. Then it was Massimo’s turn. His expression remained tight. I supposed the thing with Carlotta troubled him.

“Good work,” he said. “Even Dad couldn’t have done a better job.”

“I would have tried to talk him out of this emotional display,” Nino said as he came in followed by Kiara. My return must have made the rounds.

“You have emotional tattoos,” I reminded him, which he pointedly ignored.

“You didn’t stop him when he disfigured his privates with a bull,” Gemma muttered from the doorway with a head toss toward Savio behind her.

Fuck, how I missed the Falcone banter. Always a little too honest. With a howl, Giulio barreled into the kitchen and flung himself at me. I grunted from the impact and chuckled at his excitement. The little shit drove me up the walls more often than not, but he was my favorite to do so. “You missed your favorite prank victim, I see.”

He grinned up at me. I’d probably fall victim to him often in the next few days.

Being reunited with my family made me realize why I’d often felt this hollowness in my chest while I’d been away. It was almost gone now, and what remained could only be filled with Aurora and Battista.