By Frenzy I Ruin: Chapter 29

Few things got my heart rate up, but Rory did, and fucking her with my knife… My heartbeat had set a new record.

I couldn’t stop grinning as I headed to fight training. I was already late because I’d been up all night, but I couldn’t care less. I really needed to get myself off. Just thinking of Rory’s pink pussy and my knife made me hard again.

When I walked into the abandoned casino that the Camorra used as their gym, I could already hear the sounds of fists making impact and the low grunts of suppressed pain.

Stepping into the vast hall with the fighting cage in the center, I spotted Alessio and Nino sparring in it.

Massimo, Giulio, Fabiano, and Davide were watching and warming up by skipping rope. Of course, Massimo immediately noticed the cut in my hand. I hadn’t bothered bandaging it yet. He stopped skipping, dumped the rope on a bench, and came over to me. “What did you do?”

The way he worded it made it sound as if I had been up to no good, which was, of course, the truth.

“Just some innocent knife play,” I said.

Massimo gave me a look that suggested I was full of crap. “Show me.”

“My knife play?”

He held out his hand with a no-nonsense expression, and I turned my hand over so he could see my palm. He prodded it without mercy, but the pain gave me nice flashbacks to what had happened, so I didn’t protest. It confirmed I hadn’t dreamed this.

He dropped my hand and stalked over to the cabinet with the first-aid kit. By now, the situation had attracted more attention, and Davide and Giulio came running. “What happened?” Davide asked excitedly. “You weren’t in bed this morning when I tried to wake you for fight training.”

I’d been outside, roaming the city, restless but at the same time strangely fulfilled.

“I got into a knife fight and had to defend myself.”

“By holding his knife the wrong way? I doubt it,” Massimo muttered. “This isn’t a cut from defending yourself against a stab.”

“Huh?” Davide and Giulio exchanged a look. By now, Fabiano had joined us too. Only Nino and Alessio were still fighting.

Of course, Massimo had to keep spewing his extensive medical knowledge. “He gripped a blade, and the cut suggests it was a sawtooth knife like his. Seems too big a coincidence.”

I sent Massimo a look that told him to shut the fuck up. While I had no problem with him knowing the details of my adventure, I definitely didn’t need Fabiano to find out. Things would get very, very tense between the Scuderis and the Falcones if he knew what I was up to with his daughter. Fuck, he might even try to put a stop to it, and Aurora would probably even follow his decision.

I didn’t need the additional complication of having to figure out how to get rid of Fabi.

Fabiano raised one eyebrow. “What the fuck did you do now?”

I grinned. “I can’t tell you with the kids around. Let’s just say that a bit of pain makes me shoot fireworks much faster.”

Let them think I needed to cut my own palm to get myself off.

Fabiano sighed and shook his head before he returned to skipping rope, obviously tired of my antics.

Davide and Giulio followed him after a moment. They’d seen Massimo stitch me up before, so it wasn’t that exciting.

“If Fabiano finds out you’re messing with Aurora, things will get very complicated,” Massimo said in a low voice as he pulled out a bottle with clear liquid from the first-aid kit.

“Didn’t you listen? I was involved in a fight.”

“I listen to your bullshit all the time,” he said, dumping half of the liquid over my hand. It burned like hell, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance. There were plenty of disinfectants that didn’t sting, but Dad insisted we use the old-fashioned ones as additional punishment for getting injured in the first place. “My knife was clean, no need to disinfect the wound.”

“I smell pussy on you, so cut the bullshit and let me do my job,” Massimo said.

“Did you turn into a bloodhound since you’re deprived of the smell of pussy?”

He ignored me and pulled out a needle and thread. I hadn’t seen Massimo with a girl in a while, and knowing Carlotta’s stance on sex before marriage, I doubted he’d gotten anywhere near her holy grail. Before Aurora I would have said no pussy was worth waiting for.

Alessio jogged over to us, covered in sweat and sporting a blooming bruise on his cheek. “How did you fuck up this time?”

“Not sure you can handle the truth. You’ve been a bit touchy recently.”

“Fuck you,” he muttered. “Just because I’m not quite as psychopathic as you two doesn’t mean I’m being touchy.”

Massimo jabbed me with the needle. I bared my teeth at him. “Your condition is defined as sociopathy, which is hardly more desirable,” Massimo said to Alessio, unimpressed.

“Did Aurora try to stab you because she couldn’t stand your annoying stalking?”

I just grinned, but I didn’t really want to share any details.

Alessio glanced at Massimo, then back at me. “I probably don’t want to know what kinky shit you were up to.”

He jogged back over to Nino. Massimo regarded me intently. “Something is definitely up, and I don’t think it’s your usual nonsense. I haven’t seen Carlotta and Aurora together since they moved into the apartment. They used to be inseparable. And suddenly, you are with them all the time.”

“I think you’ve been reading too many conspiracy theories.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Alessio, you and I have overcome many hurdles together. It makes me wonder what is so bad that you’d keep it from us.”

I shoved my hands into my pockets. Maybe I should confide in them. Massimo was right. Alessio and Massimo were my ride or die.

I ran a hand through my hair.

“How about you move your ass into the cage and fight me?” Fabiano called.

I raised my injured hand, which had never stopped me. His so-what expression conveyed he didn’t care.

“I’ll go easy on you.”

“No, you won’t,” I said as I pulled my shirt over my head. I shoved down my pants, leaving me in my boxing shorts, and turned to Massimo. “The French girl is the mother of my child, and she left him with me. I didn’t know what to do with a baby, so I called Aurora, and she’s been babysitting him for me since she moved into the apartment.”

Massimo stared at me as if he thought I’d finally lost my mind, but I didn’t give him a chance to question me. With a shrug, I turned around. “You can tell Alessio.” I jogged over to the cage and got inside.

Fabiano and I had fought against each other in the past, but his expression today told me he had a bone to pick with me. This would get interesting.

“Why the pinched expression?” I asked as I faced him in the cage.

His mouth tightened. “You’ve been visiting the apartment every day.”

“Like I said, I’m a good friend. I’m sure Aurora told you the same. You should know your daughter. She’s a good girl and wouldn’t lie to you.”

“She is, and under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t unless someone compelled her to do it.”

“And I suppose that someone would be me.” Fabiano only stared at me with raised eyebrows. “Let’s stop the chitchat and get this fight going.”

The words had barely left his mouth when he charged toward me. Soon, we were caught up in a heated fight. Fabiano was fueled by anger, which made up for his age.

“It’s enough!” Dad’s voice boomed through the casino. Fabiano stepped back, panting. I dropped my arms, my own chest heaving. I was covered in sweat and blood. Some of it was mine, some of it was Fabiano’s. He was bleeding from his nose and a cut over his eyebrow. My mouth swam with blood, and my hand was bleeding profusely again.

Fabiano wiped his forearm over his eyebrow, smearing blood everywhere.

I spit out blood, then turned to Dad with a grin. He stood in front of the cage with a thunderous expression.

“What’s the matter, Dad? I thought you want us to take fight training seriously?”

“This looked a bit too serious for my taste,” he muttered.

I glanced at Fabiano, who’d given up on stopping the blood flow from his eyebrow. My ribs hurt too, and from Fabiano’s stiff movements, I suspected it was the same for him. Fabiano walked toward me. “Good fight,” he said, less tense than before the fight. Maybe he’d gotten his anger out of his system with our fight. For me, that trick never worked. “But this is nothing to how I’m going to kick your ass if I find out you’re messing with Aurora.”

“I’m going to be Capo. Many fathers would love to give me their daughters.”

“I’m not one of them,” he said as he headed out of the cage. I followed him.

Dad sent me a hard look, as if this was only my doing.

Grabbing a towel, I steered toward the changing room where Alessio and Massimo had disappeared a couple of minutes ago.

They sat across from each other, straddling the bench.

Alessio tipped an imaginary hat. “Every time I think you can’t fuck up more, you raise your game. Cudos for still managing to shock me after I’ve seen you use the head of a corpse as a hand puppet.”

Massimo motioned me forward and grabbed my hand. “I don’t know why I bother treating your wounds.”

“Fabiano wanted the fight.”

“A kid, really? Ever heard of condoms?” Alessio asked.

“Why don’t you scream a little louder so everyone can hear it.”

Massimo got up. “You should tell them. This isn’t a small secret. This is a child. You need help with this. You aren’t equipped to take care of a child.”

“Trust me, I know, which is why I asked Aurora for help.”

“What’s wrong with the girl that she can’t say no to you, for fuck’s sake?” Alessio asked, pushing to his feet.

“Ask her,” I said with a shrug. Then I became serious. “You can’t tell my parents or anyone else about this.”

Massimo and Alessio exchanged a look. “You can’t keep it a secret for long. Aurora can’t play babysitter forever. Your father will rip your head off if he finds out you kept a child from him.”

“He’ll rip my head off either way.” In this case, Mom would probably resort to violence too. Fathering a child with a woman I’d fucked once was definitely not something she’d accept.

“This is serious,” Alessio said.

I glowered. “I fucking know that.”

“I seriously doubt that, or you would have told our families right away. This is probably just your way to bind Aurora to you. The girl was trying to get away, but you couldn’t let her,” Alessio muttered.

“I know your stance on Aurora and me.”

“Why don’t you show us your son?” Massimo asked.

“Give me a sec to shower.” I stepped into the shower stall after telling Aurora we would be coming over.

Thirty minutes later, Alessio, Massimo, and I knocked at the apartment’s door. I was pretty sure that Massimo’s interest in my son was only an excuse to see Carlotta.

Aurora opened the door, looking slightly disheveled, her cheeks flushed. I’d left her in a similar state yesterday, and the memory made me smirk. Aurora avoided my eyes as she let us in. “Carlotta and Battista are in the living room.”

We followed her inside and found Carlotta and Battista on the floor on a blanket, playing with all kinds of kitchen utensils.

“So you finally decided to tell someone,” Aurora said as she stopped beside me while Alessio and Massimo settled on the sofa beside Carlotta. She didn’t look at me, though, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the others.

“Alessio and Massimo are loyal. I should have trusted them from the start,” I said.

“I guess I should feel honored that you considered me trustworthy enough to confide in me.”

“You really should,” I said honestly.

“I don’t suppose they’ll help with child care, though?”

“They might.” I wasn’t sure I wanted those two to take care of my kid. I leaned closer to Aurora to whisper, “Won’t you look at me?”

She turned to me with narrowed eyes, but the blush on her cheeks was exactly what I wanted to see. “You’re not the only one around.”

She moved to the sofa and sank down beside Alessio. Her hair was in a high ponytail, revealing her beautiful neck I wanted to mark as mine. I’d never left a hickey on anyone, but with Aurora, I couldn’t wait to change that. I would have loved to tease her a bit more about our kitchen adventure yesterday, but I had a feeling she’d avoid being alone with me.

Massimo got up and came over to me with an analytic expression. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t even go over to the kid, and he barely reacted to your presence, so I suppose you two haven’t bonded yet.”

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to bond with him at all.”

“You don’t want to be part of his life? Then why keep him here? Why not tell your parents about him and let them or my parents adopt him.”

“I don’t think I should be a father, and I don’t think I want to be. If I tell them, they’ll make me choose right away, but I want more time to consider my options.”

“Or more time to spend with Aurora.”

Aurora glanced our way as if she’d heard our conversation. I visited daily because of her, not because of my kid. Maybe he’d eventually grow on me. She dragged her eyes away again.

Massimo’s gaze moved from Aurora to Carlotta.

“You always say you don’t believe in deities,” I muttered.

Massimo’s gaze slanted over to me again, and he cocked an eyebrow in a mix of annoyance and boredom. “Didn’t you give up on drugs?”

I rolled my eyes. “You don’t believe in anything. Sex is merely a bodily outlet for you. And you despise religion and conservative views, yet you regard Lotti as if she were the most revered goddess on your altar.”

His brows furrowed, jaw setting in a tight line. “I simply admire the perfect angles of her face. It’s rare for nature to follow the perfect geometrical patterns to create something this pleasing to the eye.”

I could admit that Carlotta was pretty, but Aurora was in a league of her own. Where Carlotta was sweet, Aurora was stunning in a memorable way. “Whatever. You can’t fuck her before marriage, and you’ll have to marry in a church if you want to pierce her hymen, so better find someone else with good geometrical patterns.”

“A hymen can’t be pierced in most cases—”

He cut himself off, seeing my expression. “It’s not logical to postpone sex to marriage.”

“You don’t have to tell me.” I wanted nothing more than to sleep with Aurora, but a part of me wondered if I wasn’t making things worse. I couldn’t date Aurora. Already this commitment of coming over daily felt like being on a leash. The Camorra and my family already limited my freedom. I wasn’t sure if my frenzied brain could take more.

In the five days that followed Massimo’s and Alessio’s surprise visit, I quickly realized that not much had changed. I had managed to avoid being alone with Nevio the one time he’d come over to help out with Battista. Though his help really only consisted of him buying everything Battista needed and bringing takeout.

When I was invited over to the Falcones for dinner with my family on the third day, I considered telling them, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to break Nevio’s trust, which didn’t even make sense, considering how much turmoil he’d spread in my life since our night at the party.

Both Dad and Nevio still sported bruises. Alessio had hinted at their training fight having gotten a bit too enthusiastic. But Dad hadn’t questioned me about Nevio again. Only Mom had once again emphasized that I could talk to her about everything, which made me feel even more horrible for lying to them.

During dinner, I pointedly ignored Nevio, though he tried to catch my eyes several times. I could hardly stop blushing with mortification when I thought of what we’d done, and looking at him would have only worsened my reaction. I didn’t need to give Dad more reason to be suspicious.

I wished my body wouldn’t always heat with longing whenever I thought of how Nevio had claimed me with the handle of his knife. Even just thinking about it again made my thighs clamp up, and my core tighten.

When Kiara and Serafina got up to clean up the dishes and take them to the kitchen, I did as well. I was glad for the distraction as I helped them.

I loaded the dishwasher while Kiara filled the sink with hot water to clean the pans.

“I love my son, but I know he’s quite a handful, and that’s putting it mildly,” Serafina said suddenly from behind me, almost giving me a heart attack.

I straightened with a tight smile. “I’ve known him all my life. I know who he is.” Yet I had to admit part of my previous perception of Nevio had been grounded on infatuation. Unlike in my fantasy, Nevio hadn’t miraculously turned into a doting and loving boyfriend. He’d become the insistent, obsessed hunter more fitting for his personality.

Kiara dried her hands and came to Serafina’s side, both of them bestowing me with understanding smiles. “We know you do. We just want to make sure you know we won’t judge you if you want a bit of distance from Nevio.”

I swallowed hard, wondering if they knew what had happened. Serafina touched my shoulder. I nodded. “I’m fine, really.” I focused on the dishes once more. They probably wouldn’t judge me this kindly if they found out I’d helped Nevio keep his child from them for weeks or possibly months.

After the conversation, I was glad when my parents, my brother, and I left the Falcone mansion. We crossed the premises as there wasn’t a fence between our land and theirs, but I was too agitated to go inside yet.

“I’d like to stay outside for a bit,” I said.

Dad glanced at his watch. “It’s getting late. You should stay the night, and I’ll take you to your place in the morning.”

I couldn’t do that to Carlotta. Battista’s sleep pattern was still erratic. “No, I promised Carlotta I’d be home. She’s still a bit hesitant about being alone in the apartment overnight.”

“I could call Diego.”

“No, please don’t. He’s already overprotective. Carlotta would kill me.” She definitely would because she had no problem staying in the apartment alone.

Mom gave me a smile. “I don’t mind taking you to your apartment later. Take as long as you need.”

Dad gave her a look that made it clear he wouldn’t allow it. “I’m not letting you drive around the city by yourself at night.”

“Everyone knows my car and me. I highly doubt anyone’s going to give me trouble.”

“There’s always a first for everything.” He turned to me. “I’ll take you home in an hour.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said with a smile and stepped on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

“You and your mom have me wrapped around your fingers.”

Davide rolled his eyes. “Can we go inside now? I paused my game for dinner, and I want to finish this before midnight.”

“You’re lucky I don’t confiscate your Switch.”

Dad and Davide moved into the house, arguing about the stupid games my brother enjoyed, while Mom stayed with me. She touched my cheek. “I really wish you’d confide in me. I can tell something’s bothering you.”

What was currently bothering me was definitely not something I’d ever talk to Mom about.

“Sorry, Mom.”

She nodded and went inside as well. I headed toward the pool and sank down on one of the lounge chairs, staring at the luminous water surface. I lost myself in whirring thoughts of my twisted relationship with Nevio, the myriad of lies I had to remember, and my growing feelings for the little boy I had agreed to babysit.

The next time I looked at my watch, forty minutes had passed. I rose from the chair and headed to my parents’ house when a twig broke behind me. I knew who was following me. Had he been watching me at the pool? I walked faster, desperate to get into the house before he reached me. I doubted Nevio would follow me inside. Even he had to have a sense of self-preservation because my father would kill him if he found us in a compromising position. When I’d almost reached our terrace, fingers curled around my wrist and I was jerked backward and dragged away. My surroundings briefly blurred before me, then my back bumped against the house wall, and Nevio took shape before me.