By Frenzy I Ruin: Chapter 19

“Just stop it,” Aurora seethed.

Her anger rolled off her in waves, but it wouldn’t change a thing. I would not, could not stop this. As long as I wasn’t sure what Aurora had done to me, as long as my own emotions and mind were a jumbled mess, I would make sure nobody got close to her. Fuck, I hadn’t even intended to follow Aurora to the races when I’d found out about it. I wasn’t the jealous type and never even understood the reasoning behind it in the first place. But the night before Aurora’s move to the race circuit, I had been unable to fall asleep. I’d thought back to the asshole I’d killed in New York, had thought about how many more assholes would be at the races. Assholes who would dare to make Rory smile, to make her laugh, to fucking touch her. That thought had festered inside me and made my skin itch as if thousands of ants were digging tunnels under it. Usually, this kind of restless craziness only took hold of me when I hadn’t killed in too long. Now the idea of not being near Rory caused it too. What a shit show.

When I returned to the bonfire a little later, I felt the itch under my skin again.

“I don’t like the look on your face,” said Alessio when I sank down beside them.

I took out my knife, half tempted to cut open my fucking skin to get rid of the itch, but it didn’t work that way. I knew only one thing that elevated the sensation…

My eyes were drawn to Gigimo, who drank a beer with a couple of guys. Just looking at his stupid face drove me up the wall. He emptied his beer and excused himself, probably to take a piss. I rose to my feet.

“I can smell trouble,” Alessio muttered.

“Adamo won’t be happy,” Massimo added.

I waved them off and stalked after Gigimo.

The next day, I stepped into the makeshift hospital tent where Aurora helped out.

She looked up from the folding desk. She immediately shook her head and got to her feet, rushing around the table and toward me.

“I don’t want you in here,” she said as she stopped right in front of me with her fists propped up against her hips and fury in her blue eyes.

One corner of my mouth dragged upward at her feistiness. A few wayward strands had fallen out of her ponytail, accentuating the wild look in her eyes. This wildcat side of her was one I greatly appreciated.

“This hospital is for everyone, right?” I said, looking around. Only one bed was closed off with curtains. I supposed that was where I’d find Gigimo.

“You’re not injured.”

“I’m sure you can change that,” I said, amused.

I shifted my weight but Aurora’s hand came up against my chest to stop me from moving to Gigimo’s bed. But she quickly dropped it as if she couldn’t bear touching me and raised her finger in front of me like a scolding teacher. “Not another step, or—”

My eyes met hers, and my smile broadened. “Or what, Rory?”

It was adorable that she thought she could stop me. Maybe I’d even let her. But we both knew this would only be because I was being unusually charitable.

She pressed her lips together. “You won’t hurt me.”

I tilted my head. “I thought I already did.”

A blush spread on her cheeks that exhilarated my heartbeat almost as much as torture did.

“Stop it. You broke half the bones in his body,” she whispered harshly.

That was a major exaggeration. I’d really held back as much as I was capable of. “I didn’t kill him.” If only she knew how fucking much I’d wanted to cut his throat, how hard it still was to resist. One slash of my knife and the stupid fucker would spill his warm blood over my hands. Instead, it flooded his worthless body, a waste of perfectly fine blood.

“Do you expect me to thank you?”

I walked past her, sidestepping her feeble attempt to bar my way. Her attempts to stop me by grabbing my arm were futile too. “I did it for you. I would have broken the rest of his bones and then slit his throat, but I knew it would upset you, so as a show of goodwill, I left him alive.”

I reached the closed-off curtains and ripped them open. Gigimo, covered in bandages, lay in the narrow hospital bed. Aurora was talking to someone on the phone, but I didn’t pay attention. I was in hunter mode.

The fear in his eyes gave me a sick kick, and my body called out for more of his blood, a call I would have gladly answered if it weren’t for my initial reason to come here.

Aurora squeezed in front of me, her pure scent flooding my nose. “I called Adamo. He’ll be here any moment.”

He was at least ten minutes away by car, enough time for me to off Gigimo and half the camp. I lowered my gaze from Gigimo’s terror-stricken face.

Aurora glared up at me. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Every word. Don’t worry, Rory, I didn’t come here to kill Gigimo. I’m here to bring my message across.”

“I think he got whatever message you had for him when you beat him up,” Aurora seethed.

I flashed her a hard smile. “I’m sure he did, but you didn’t, and that’s why I’m here.”

Her brows dipped in confusion and a hint of anxiety. I grabbed her by the waist, lifted her off the ground, and carried her the few steps to the neighboring bed, where I dropped her off.

I jerked the curtains closed. While I wanted Gigimo to get the message too, I didn’t want him to see Aurora and me. That was our moment.

“I was the first inside you, and I’ll be the last one.” Until the words shot from my mouth, they hadn’t even been in my mind. I hadn’t given much room for thoughts of the future, had lived in the moment, but now I knew these words to be true. I wanted to be Aurora’s last, and no matter how brutal I had to be, I’d make sure I was. But fuck how could I be her last when it went against my core belief, when I knew I could never be hers in the way she wanted?

It didn’t matter.

Aurora’s skin turned even redder. It was hard to say if her anger or her embarrassment were in the lead this time. “Why do you even want me? What is all this about? The stalking, the jealousy, the killing. Why the change of heart?”

I didn’t like that phrase. I preferred to see it as a more primal need to claim what already felt like mine. My head was already enough of a mess. I didn’t need emotions to get in the way.

I cupped her neck. Trepidation filled her eyes, but there was longing beneath it, an emotion I was well-acquainted with in my victims. Longing for me, the same longing that now pulsated in my veins like a jungle drum. I’d taken her virginity but didn’t remember. There were so many more firsts to claim, and I’d never forget any of them again. I leaned over her, bringing us closer. She fell back on the cot with my arm under her lower back, her palms against my chest. I lowered my head and pushed my lips against hers, wanting a taste. Her eyes widened a fraction, her mouth firming up. My tongue traced the hard line of her lips. She parted them but only to nick my lower lip with her teeth, drawing blood.

My grip on her neck tightened as I pulled back an inch. She breathed harshly, her chest heaving beneath me. Copper bloomed on my tongue as droplets of blood fell from the small cut.

“You don’t deserve any part of me,” she growled.

“Fuck, that’s why I always told you to stay away from me, but you wouldn’t listen, and now it’s too late, Rory. You’re in my fucking head, and there’s no escaping from there.”

Her lips parted, her brows snatching together as her eyes roamed my face. She was trying to understand me, but that was something she’d never do. Even I didn’t.

“Now I’ll have to hurt everyone who gets too close to you.”

She shook her head slowly.

“Because while I still think you should stay the fuck away from me, unfortunately, I can’t stay away from you. And even if I don’t deserve any part of you, every single part only belongs to me.”

I leaned down again so our lips brushed. She didn’t move this time, even as I coated her mouth an enticing red with my blood. “And we both know that deep down you still want to belong to me. Every part of you.”

I reached between us and tugged her hardened nipple through her shirt, then pressed my flat palm against her jeans-clad pussy, making sure to really increase the pressure with my middle finger so she’d feel it deep in her core.

She tensed but didn’t push me away. I could see the fight in her eyes. The fury, not just at me but also at herself. Resolution filled her face, and she grabbed my shoulders as if to push me away.

Steps crunched outside the tent. Aurora’s eyes widened. I removed my hand from her crotch but stayed bent over her. “I mean what I said. Every guy who wants a piece of you better be willing to lose at least a piece of himself.”

The tent flap moved, and Adamo stepped inside, frowning at the scene we created. I pushed away from Aurora and stepped back.

“Hello, Uncle.”

Adamo stalked inside and toward Aurora, who was sitting up with a deep red face and blood-covered lips. “Are you all right?”

She gave a jerky nod. “I’m fine.”

Adamo stopped in front of her, obviously not convinced. He glanced over his shoulder at me with suspicion and disapproval. “I need a word with you, Nevio.”

I smiled and headed out of the tent. The heat blasted my body, and the sun beat down on me. After I’d found a spot in the shadows, I shoved my hands into my pockets and closed my eyes, soaking up the sounds around me. The hum of engines, laughter, a door being thrown shut, the low murmur of too many voices. Adamo’s voice was one of them, but I couldn’t pick up what he said, even if the thin tent fabric hardly served as a barrier. A couple of minutes later, steps crunched on the dry ground, and I opened my eyes as Adamo joined me outside. Anger reflected on his face. “If you came here to cause trouble for Aurora or me, or other members of this racing circuit, then you’ll get in major trouble with me. Got it? I won’t stand by and watch you ruin everything. And I sure as fuck won’t stand back if you harass Fabiano’s daughter.”

“Did she say I’m harassing her?” I asked, not really concerned. Dad knew I was here. I wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to let me come. Maybe he thought it was better if I did it under his watch than on my own like in New York. I hadn’t killed anyone yet, so he had a point.

“She didn’t say much. The strange thing is I don’t even think it’s because she’s scared of you. I don’t know what’s going on, and I’m really not sure I want to, but maybe you should consider the consequences of your actions for once. This isn’t just anyone. This is Aurora Scuderi, and her dad is like our family. Consider what you risk destroying, and ask yourself, is it worth it.”

My smile had become harder to maintain. I knew what was on the line. I also knew it wouldn’t stop me.

That night, I snuck to Aurora’s campervan. It was locked, but it took me only a few seconds to pick the lock and slip inside. The windows were open, letting the cool night air in, but the inside still smelled of Aurora. Sweet and light but also a hint of musk. I moved toward the bed. Even in the dark, I could see that Aurora was wearing headphones and a sleeping mask. She hoped to keep the anxiety at bay that way. It made her more vulnerable. She was lucky she was as safe as she was.

I flipped on my flashlight on the lowest level. Rory’s sleep was fitful. She was mumbling under her breath and twisting and turning. A nightmare, maybe about me?

She sank her teeth into her lower lip, her breathing too deep for a nightmare. One of her arms was under the covers. I tugged at them and found her hand between her legs, but she wasn’t doing anything except for squeezing it between her thighs.

“Oh Rory, I hope you’re not dreaming about poor Gigimo, or I’ll have to end his miserable life tonight.”

Her legs squeezed her wrist even tighter, obviously seeking friction and chasing the same pleasure she was experiencing in her dream.

I directed the light beam to her chest. Her nipples poked her thin T-shirt. She tossed one arm up above her head, almost frustrated, her lips parted, and then she said one word that saved a life, at least for now. “Nevio.”

Hearing her moan my name was my fucking undoing, and it gave me a sick satisfaction to know that she couldn’t escape me even in her dreams. I shone the light on her thighs and stroked them, then pushed them slightly apart until my hand was between them. I wedged the flashlight between my teeth and used my now free hand to remove her arm from between her legs. Her breathing changed, but she wasn’t awake yet. Her pajama shorts were wedged between her pussy lips, and I pushed my thumb into the crease. Soon, Aurora parted her legs, and I massaged her clit and slit, up and down, until her breathing quickened and the fabric of her bottoms was soaked by her juices.

Feeling her heat and arousal through her pajamas filled my own body with lava-hot desire. My attraction toward Aurora had been growing by the day, and it seemed to reach an almost unbearable peak today. She shuddered in her sleep as I rubbed her little clit, and she succumbed to an orgasm. It ended too soon and was nothing in comparison to the orgasms I wanted to give her when she was awake.

I put down the flashlight and leaned down to her pussy so I could inhale her scent. Fuck. This was pure torture. My dick hardened in my shorts. I darted my tongue out, couldn’t fucking resist and wedged it into the crease, tasting her through the fabric. She shuddered again. I pulled back, then slid my hand into the leg of her shorts and rubbed my thumb over her dripping pussy, gathering as much of her juice as I could. I removed my hand and touched my coated finger to her parted lips, then slid it carefully into her mouth, rubbing my pad over her tongue. I wanted to kill my own stupid ass for not remembering how my cock had been engulfed by these pussy walls.

I pulled away and got up. My cock was rock hard, and I wanted nothing more than to fuck Rory senseless. But that would definitely wake her, and I knew her stubbornness would stop her from enjoying my touch as much as she’d just done.

One day every of her firsts would be mine.

I woke before my alarm rang. My skin was sweaty, and to my mortification, my dreams had left a visible impact on me. My shorts stuck to my pussy. They were completely wet, almost as if I’d peed myself but I knew it wasn’t that. I’d come in my sleep. My dream had been incredibly intense. Of course, Nevio had been in it. He’d stalked me at night and then taken me against a house wall. After everything he’d put me through, you’d think my body would stop lusting after him. Sadly, that was far from the truth.

I was incredibly annoyed and furious even by his stalking, but my subconscious seemed to spin all kinds of erotic fantasies around it. The most disturbing had been one a few nights ago where Nevio had snuck into my bedroom, covered my mouth with his hand so I couldn’t scream and then fucked me from behind, his body pressing me into the mattress. He hadn’t even asked for permission or made sure I was wet. He’d just thrust into me brutally and it had gotten me off.

I rubbed my eyes, not sure what was wrong with me.

I quickly changed into clean shorts, then put on a bathrobe before I rushed to the motorhome with the washrooms. I needed to clean my body and mind of last night’s fantasies. Unfortunately, Nevio was there too. He was only dressed in boxers, and his hair was wet from a shower.

I stomped up the stairs, sending him a scowl.

“Good morning, Rory. How was your night?” The way he smirked made my cheeks go hot.

“I had a nightmare about you,” I said, trying to get into the only free shower room, but Nevio stepped my way. “A nightmare, are you sure? I don’t smell fear on you, only arousal.”

My eyes widened in mortification and indignation as I did a quick scan of our surroundings to make sure nobody had heard Nevio’s words. The showers in the occupied shower rooms were running, and the other people mingling around were too far away. “Are you a dog now?”

He grinned. “I’m just very in tune with your scent.”

I shook my head with a disgusted look. “Stop it.”

He stepped back, and I stormed into the shower stall, then thrust it shut and engaged the lock. I took my time showering, even if the rules limited shower time to five minutes. I needed to wash any thought of Nevio away. When I stepped out, Nevio was gone, but so were my soaked shorts when I returned to my campervan. I knew I’d put them down on the heap of dirty clothes in the basket in the corner, and now they weren’t there. I should have locked my door, but I doubted that would have stopped Nevio.

I stormed out of my camper and rushed over to the one that Nevio, Alessio, and Massimo shared. I hammered against the door, then stormed inside. Nevio leaned against the small kitchenette in the trailer with a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. I had half a mind to spill it down his privates.

Alessio slunk on the bench in the corner and got up before I could say anything. He was only in boxers, his many tattoos and a nipple piercing on display. “I don’t want to know. I warned you, and now you two have to deal with each other. I’ll let Massimo know that the campervan is off-limits for now.” He grabbed a T-shirt and left the campervan.

“This won’t take long!” I shouted, but the door had already fallen shut.

“Give it back,” I growled, turning back to Nevio.

Nevio’s dark eyes held mine, mirth dancing on his face. “I fear that’s not how it works, Rory. What’s gone is gone.”

I flushed when I realized he wasn’t referring to the shorts. “I hate that you took it,” I whispered harshly, on the verge of crying, which made me hate him even more at that moment.

“I didn’t take your virginity. You gave it to me. And I only hate that I don’t remember every second of it.”

I staggered toward him. He held the coffee out of my reach, obviously anticipating my need for violence. I shoved him, and a bit of the hot liquid spilled on his chest. He hissed, then smirked. “This and the scent of your soaked shorts will get me off in no time.”

“Have you lost your mind?” What a stupid question. “Give me my pajama shorts. I didn’t know you were a creep who steals women’s underwear.”

“I only steal yours, Rory, and I’m definitely a creep.”

I shook my head. Maybe he’d stop this bullshit if I stopped reacting to it like a crazy person. I needed to learn to ignore Nevio, but I was incapable of doing it. I shrugged. “Then keep it. I don’t care.”

His answering smile was even more infuriating. “I still have your panties from the wedding too. I think they smell of you, but not nearly as intense as the ones from last night.”

My eyes widened. “You promised to throw them away.”

His dirty grin drove me insane. “I couldn’t part with them. I knew it would be a while before I’d get the chance to get closer to your pussy.”

I couldn’t believe he’d kept them. Part of me was sickeningly elated by the news when I should really just be annoyed and repulsed. Everything Nevio did was a provocation. “Throw them away. They only smell of chlorine anyway. They were wet when you took them.”

I regretted my choice of words when I saw Nevio’s answering smile. It was dark and daring enough to make my panties wet this time for entirely different reasons, and I hated that my body still reacted to him like that. “Maybe I’ll throw them away now that I have the shorts with your lust all over them.”

“Your sense of smell is obviously off,” I muttered, even as my cheeks burned.

“Don’t pretend you don’t finger yourself to sleep every night imagining it is me, Rory. I can practically smell your arousal whenever we’re close. And last night, I was witness to your wet nightmares.”

I froze, swallowed hard. Had he watched me sleep? Had he seen me touch myself? I wasn’t sure what I’d done during my very hot dream but judging by the state of my shorts this morning, I might have actually touched myself.

Part of me wanted to turn on my heel and run away. The need to escape the situation was unbearably strong, but I didn’t want to give Nevio the satisfaction. He was the one in the wrong. He should have never been in my camper at night! “I bet you’re having wet dreams about me as well.”

“I won’t deny it. Not just at night. I think about how it’ll be to bury my cock inside you all the time.”

I shrugged, almost as if it didn’t matter, though my heart still beat furiously. “You were inside me.”

“That doesn’t count. Next time, I’m going to remember every inch of my cock claiming your tight pussy, going to memorize the smell of your arousal, lick it up after I make you come over my hands and face after I licked your pussy and your ass.”

I blinked up at him, trying to determine whether he’d really said it. Maybe I was actually asleep again. Because sometimes he said similar things in my sleep, but never when I was actually awake. Silence spread between us, and I could tell that Nevio enjoyed making me speechless again.

I glowered. “You’re all words, and I’m sick of them.”

Nevio dropped the coffee cup in the sink, grabbed my hips, and jerked me toward him. I breathed harshly, feeling a wave of rage but also desire for the man before me. Before I could choose either, Nevio’s lips pressed against mine. They were softer than I’d expected. I sank my nails into his shoulder, determined to shove him away and maybe bite him again, only harder this time, but instead, I pushed into the kiss, letting my rage consume me.

Nevio turned us around so my back pressed against the counter and kissed me even harder. His heat was everywhere, and he tasted and felt so good, like temptation and darkness.

A rage-fueled kiss wasn’t what I’d imagined for my first real kiss. It felt good, addicting, but also as if I was being pulled in a direction that wasn’t me. I tore my lips away and shoved Nevio’s arm until he pulled it back so I could move away from him. I didn’t want to be fueled by rage or hatred. Nevio obviously thrived on these destructive emotions, sought them like an addict, and I could see how they could become addicting in situations like this. They were easier to process than emotions like love and affection, which bared your soul and made you vulnerable.

I wanted to be vulnerable with the person I kissed, not driven by instinct like an animal.

“I think you gave me another one of your firsts,” Nevio said. I didn’t look at him. I wouldn’t give him a reaction, not when this was obviously a game that got him higher than any drug could.

“Keep my undies. I don’t care. I can’t play by your rules. I won’t.” I left his caravan without a look back. Part of me was satisfied with these highs, even if they were fueled by negativity. I had no intention to let that part win.