By Frenzy I Ruin: Chapter 15

It wasn’t the first time I spent time away from home. The previous two summers, I’d spent a couple of weeks with Adamo and Dinara at the racing track to watch their son Roman while they dealt with business.

But I’d be gone longer this time. Maybe just for two months during the summer, or maybe beyond that. I wasn’t sure how long my heart would need to heal, how long it would take to come to terms with the fact that Nevio and I were a bad idea that would never happen. I wanted to turn love to hate, wanted to shield my heart with pure contempt for the man who’d ignored me most of my life and then taken my virginity without even realizing it was me, as if I were so inconsequential to him that even then my presence hadn’t registered.

When I landed in New York, I was nervous. I wasn’t even alone. Dad had insisted on accompanying me. I supposed he wanted to make sure I was really well protected. Things between the Camorra and the Famiglia were still somewhat shaky despite Greta’s marriage to Amo.

I’d briefly considered living with them, but they were newlyweds, so my presence would probably bother them. Not to mention, Greta was too close to Nevio. That seemed like an awfully bad idea.

Dad and I took a cab to the townhouse where my aunt Aria lived with her family. My cousin Valerio was around my age, but I hadn’t seen him very often due to the physical distance between us and the war.

Dad was mainly concerned about me being under Luca’s roof and rule for the time of my stay. Luca was the Capo of the Famiglia and, according to Dad’s frequent rants, an overconfident madman.

I never mentioned that Remo didn’t have the best reputation either.

When we pulled up in front of their townhouse, I felt a hint of nervousness. The door opened when Dad and I approached the staircase leading up to the entrance.

Aria, closely shadowed by Luca, stood in the doorway. Her beaming expression calmed my anxiety. Luca looked less enthused, though I attributed that to seeing Dad. Those two had butted heads in the past, and the look that passed between them had me worried that Dad might change his mind. After the utter relief I felt upon leaving Las Vegas, I couldn’t imagine returning right away.

Aria must have seen the worry in my expression because she hugged me in greeting and whispered, “It’ll be all right.”

I gave her a grateful smile and followed her into the living room. It was pure Aria—light, bright colors and an air of warmth. I felt instantly welcome, almost at home.

We settled at the dining table, and soon after, a maid carried pots and bowls with food into the room. Enough to feed an army.

“Who else is coming over? Have you planned another surprise ambush?” Dad asked in a sarcastic tone that made me choke on my water.

Aria cleared her throat after a look at Luca, then she said sternly, “Greta and Amo are late, and so is Valerio.”

“He always is,” Luca said, but his eyes were on Dad.

The tension seemed to rise to crushing dimensions when the front door opened. Valerio, Greta, and Amo appeared in the living room soon after. I was strangely nervous to meet Greta, which was ridiculous. Amo hovered close to Greta, one arm slung around her waist in a protective gesture. She appeared fragile, like a doll, but she’d survived things few other people had. I admired her for her strength.

“You’re late,” Aria said with narrowed eyes at Amo and Valerio before she sent Greta a smile and pulled her into a hug. Greta settled on my other side and gave me a small smile. I tried not to overanalyze every gesture. Greta had always been a restrained person.

Amo gave me a nod, and Valerio sent me a grin that let some of the tension slip away.

Greta acted at ease during dinner, her expression not suggesting that she knew anything about what went down between Nevio and me.

I wasn’t sure if that was because they weren’t as close as they used to be or if Nevio realized this was something he couldn’t share with anyone. Thanks to Aria and Valerio, the conversations stayed on safe ground.

After dinner, Greta asked me to join her in the garden, which could only mean she knew. Dad didn’t mind, so she led me away from the dining table.

The moment we were outside alone, Greta gave me a small, sad smile that made my stomach drop. “I’m sorry Nevio hurt you.”

I didn’t say anything and hoped my face wasn’t giving away anything either. Her words left room for plenty of interpretation, and I didn’t want to reveal more than necessary. I’d sworn I would be more careful.

She nodded slowly as if my reaction made sense and peered at the night sky. “Before Amo, I never really wasted time thinking about love or soulmates, and I’m still not entirely sure I believe in the latter. Now that I have Amo, I want the same for Nevio. I want someone who speaks to his soul and balances his dark.”

I laughed. “Nevio doesn’t have a soul, and if you know what happened, then you also know I’m not that person you want for him. I doubt someone like that exists. At least not on earth.”

Perhaps in hell.

Greta clasped her hands in front of her belly. “Nevio called me. I think he’s really upset that you left because of what he did. He cares about you, Aurora, and very few people can say that about themselves.”

Nevio certainly had a strange way of showing me how much he cared about me.

“You’re getting something wrong. Nevio doesn’t care about me, not like that. He’s probably just angry because I didn’t obey his command to stay in Vegas. He acts like a Capo, even when he’s not.”

Greta tilted her head, her eyes narrowed in thought. “I don’t think you’re right. For some of us, it isn’t easy to understand and act upon our feelings.”

“That would require Nevio to have feelings beyond anger and hatred,” I muttered.

Greta gave me a small smile, but I could tell she did it because she didn’t want to argue with me, not because she agreed. Maybe Nevio could feel more for someone, but I wouldn’t be the one who’d wade through layer after layer of whatever messed-up darkness covered it to uncover it. I was done with him. I’d made a fool out of myself, and I wouldn’t keep doing it.

When we returned to the dining room, only Aria was there. My belly tightened. “Where’s Dad?”

“He’s talking to Luca, Valerio, and Amo in the office.”

I cringed, considering what Dad would tell them. I bet he had a long list of rules. Before my worry could drive me crazy, the three emerged from the office. One look at Dad’s face told me he was ready to leave. He came toward me and grabbed my shoulders.

“I should return to the hotel to grab some sleep before my early flight. All right?”

I nodded with a reassuring smile. I could tell he was still wary of leaving me.

“If you need anything, call me. And if you change your mind, you can come home any time.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Dad stepped back with a nod, but his eyes remained worried.

Aria wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “You don’t have any reason to worry, Fabiano. Aurora will be perfectly safe here.”

The three of us moved toward the front door. I stepped forward once more and hugged Dad tightly.

“You’ll write each day and call your mother every other day, understood?”

“Yes, Dad,” I said in exasperation. He’d told me the same about a dozen times. Dad pulled back, then took a step back before turning and heading to the waiting car.

I wondered what kind of instructions Dad had given them. Probably all of them about boys. I waved as Dad drove away, then released a deep sigh. I felt relieved to be away from Vegas and my family’s watchful eyes, but at the same time, I was also very nervous. While I was excited about spending time with Isa and my other cousins, I’d miss my talks with Mom and Carlotta. Phone calls just weren’t the same.

“I’d like a word with you, Aurora,” Luca said.

I froze, not having expected that.

“Uhh, sure.”

Aria frowned at her husband, obviously as surprised by this as I was. “I’m sure this can be done right here. Aurora must be tired.”

Luca gave a terse nod before he met my gaze once more. “I don’t care how things are run in Vegas, but in my territory, I won’t allow you to see any boys.”

“I’m not here to see boys,” I said with an embarrassed smile. I was here to run from one. Though calling Nevio a boy seemed awfully wrong. Nothing about him conveyed the necessary innocence to justify that label. Greta’s curious gaze made me even more nervous than Luca.

Luca gave a satisfied nod, but his expression remained stern. “Valerio is going to take over most of your protection and accompany you wherever you go. If he’s not available, your cousin Flavio will take his place.”

I nodded because that was what Luca obviously expected. I wasn’t concerned about any of this. Boys were the last thing on my mind right now.

“I’ll keep a close eye on her,” Valerio said, winking at me. I wasn’t sure if this meant he wouldn’t or if he simply wanted to put me at ease. I gave him a smile. His easygoing nature helped to set me at ease. Amo was more closed off, at least in recent years. I remembered him more relaxed.

“We’ll return home now. There’s plenty of time for Greta and Aurora to spend together in the next few weeks,” Amo said to his father before turning to Greta and holding out his hand. She gave me a tight but reassuring smile, which I returned before they left.

“Come on. I’ll show you your room,” Valerio said and grabbed my suitcase, which Dad had set down beside the door to the coatroom.

When neither Aria nor Luca protested, I followed my cousin upstairs. His blond hair was the same shade as Davide’s, lighter than Dad’s, but according to Mom, his had been that way too when he was a child. Mom always said it was the Scuderi blond.

Valerio opened the second door on the right. “My room is on this floor as well, but my parents have their rooms on the floor above us. The library is on the ground floor. We don’t have a gym room because Mom always goes to Gianna’s gym, and Dad and I go to the Famiglia training complex.”

“I’ll go to Gianna’s gym if I feel like working out,” I said, though I doubted that time would come. I loved skateboarding, skiing, and snowboarding, but every other sport wasn’t for me. Yoga seemed positively sleep-inducing, but I’d do it if Aria or Gianna invited me to join them.

Valerio motioned me to go inside. The room was bright, with a soft gray and mint color palette. The window looked out to the yard. Most townhouses had narrow courtyards without any green, but this was the biggest house on the street, and the yard was accordingly sized, not just a square space of concrete but with actual grass and trees.

“Isa suggested that we’ll have breakfast tomorrow morning,” Valerio said, leaning in the doorway with crossed arms. Through his white tee, I could see the outline of the Famiglia tattoo over his heart. It was strange to think that while I was visiting family, I was in another mob family, which had always and would always make things a little tense, though Valerio certainly wasn’t the reason for it.

I smiled. “Sounds great.”

“I hate getting up early, so I won’t agree to any dates before ten.”

“What do you do when you have Famiglia duties before ten?” I asked, amused.

He grinned. “I drink insane amounts of coffee and am grumpy as fuck.”

“I can’t imagine you ever being grumpy.”

“See, this family bonding time will give you new insights.” He glanced down at his watch. “I have a date. Will you be okay?” His blue eyes showed honest interest.

“Sure. I’m exhausted, so I’ll go to sleep. Have fun with your date.” I wondered what date started at ten o’clock but didn’t voice my thoughts. Valerio turned and closed the door.

One thing was the same in the Camorra and Famiglia. Guys could go on dates as they pleased, but girls could not.

I unpacked my clothes into the wardrobe, then undressed for a shower. After a flight, I always felt a little icky and needed to wash off the day. When I was about to enter the shower stall in my en suite bathroom, my phone beeped. I’d already answered texts from Mom, Carlotta, Kiara, Dad, and even Davide, but this message wasn’t from any of them.

When I saw the name on the screen, my belly plummeted.

The relaxation that had started to set in evaporated. I hated that I allowed someone to have this power over me. Without looking at the message, I blocked the contact so Nevio couldn’t reach me again. I knew he’d probably figure out other ways to message me, but for now, this gesture felt like I was seizing power and taking control of my happiness.

I enjoyed time with Isa, Flavio, and Valerio the following day. Despite their presence, something kept my thoughts rooted in the past. Two weeks after my night with Nevio, I started getting antsy. My period had been due two days ago. My cycle was pretty irregular, so this wasn’t anything unusual. But given what had happened, my being overdue made me nervous. If my cycle was particularly long this time, it could still be up to four days before my period came—if it came at all. I couldn’t wait that long. The problem was how to get my hands on a pregnancy test. I didn’t get a moment to ask Isa while we were with the boys, so I postponed the question until the next day when I met Isa at her mom’s yoga studio. We wanted to spend the day together without the guys, who had to work anyway.

Valerio took me there and dropped me off at the reception where Cara worked. She was in her forties but didn’t look it, a real MILF how Nevio had once said, and was the wife of Growl, Remo’s half brother whom he hated furiously. She was in workout clothes, which revealed how in shape she was and her brown hair was up in a neat bun.

Isa’s bodyguard would take over for the rest of the day, so Valerio left right away. “Isa’s in Gianna’s office,” Cara said, motioning to the door at her back, which opened then.

“Office? More like a dump.” I glimpsed the chaos of workout material, clothes, and paperwork behind Isa and had to agree with her assessment of the room. She smiled at me, walked around the reception desk, and hugged me. “You look like you didn’t get much sleep. Homesick?”

I scoffed. “Not really. But I didn’t sleep much, that’s true.” I slanted a look at Cara, who was on the phone with someone and checking something on the laptop. Isa took my hand and led me into a vacant yoga studio.

“What’s up?” she asked, righting her glasses as if that would allow her a deeper look into my soul.

Confiding in her was a risk. I didn’t think she would ever share my secrets, but I was still worried. On the other hand, I desperately needed help if I wanted to buy a test, and Isa was still my best bet. I couldn’t ask my aunts Aria or Liliana. They were both overly motherly types and might feel like it was their responsibility to tell my mom about it.

Gianna was a rebel, so she probably wouldn’t tell anyone about it.

“I need a pregnancy test,” I whispered so she had to lean closer to hear me.

Isa pulled back slightly, with a hint of surprise on her face but definitely not the amount of shock many would have shown at the request. She nodded simply as if this was no big deal. “Sure. I have a few in my bag in my locker here.”

“You do?” I asked, utterly stunned.

Isa shrugged and led me to a locker in the dressing room. She took out her gym bag and motioned for me to enter one of the changing rooms. I went in, and she followed, then she opened her bag. There were indeed three pregnancy tests inside. “My mom got a bunch for me a while back,” Isa said and held one out to me. “I’m keeping them here so Dad won’t find them by accident.”

I laughed. “My dad wouldn’t be too happy about finding a pregnancy test in my bag either.”

Isa searched my eyes. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here, okay? And if you’re pregnant and you need to find a solution, my mother can tell you all about it.”

I paused, wondering what she meant by that, but the hint of bitterness in her tone stopped me from asking. “Thanks, Isa. I really appreciate it. I don’t expect this to be positive but…” I trailed off. It was difficult to explain the situation and the slim chances of me being pregnant without revealing more about the embarrassing night that I wanted to forget.

“It’s a very sensitive test, so it’s almost 100 percent safe if your period is due.”

I nodded again and stuffed the test into my bag. “I’ll use it tomorrow morning.” It would take immeasurable control to wait that long, but I wanted this test to be as accurate as possible.

“Don’t let Luca find it,” Isa said with comically widened eyes.

I giggled. “I’ll be careful.”

We spend the day together at a skate park. Isa wasn’t a skater, but her current novel was about a drug-addicted skater with all kinds of issues. She wanted me to show her a few tricks in detail so she could understand better when writing from his perspective. Thanks to the embarrassing scowls our bodyguards sent everyone else, we had the half-pipe to ourselves.

It was really fun to show Isa what I could do and let me forget the test in my bag until I sat at the dining table with Luca, Aria, and Valerio, and Isa, Matteo, and Gianna. Liliana and her family would be coming for dinner tomorrow, and all of us would leave for the Hamptons in a week.

Isa and I went to my room after dinner, followed by Valerio. He, Isa, and Flavio were close friends, a bit like the Unholy Trio, but minus the brutality and raids at night. I liked Valerio, especially his brand of humor, but I preferred to chat with Isa alone as I was seriously considering doing the test now.

We talked about our day in the skate park for a while, but Isa and I kept exchanging looks, and eventually, Valerio caught on. He got up and raised his arms in surrender. “I know when I’m not welcome.”

“It’s not about you. It’s your Y chromosome.” Isa smirked.

“Many girls would cry bitterly if I didn’t have an Y chromosome.”

“God’s gift to womanhood,” Isa said with a roll of her eyes.

“It’s a pity we don’t appreciate the gift because we’re related.”

Valerio nodded sagely, but then he slipped out and left us alone.

“He’s one of the most easygoing Made Men I know. I can’t believe he’s related to Luca.”

“Trust me, he is like his father when it matters, but he’s good at hiding it,” Isa said. Then she narrowed her eyes in thought. “You want to do the test now?”

I sighed. “Yeah. I should probably wait until morning, but I don’t think I can.”

“Just do it. I have more tests, and Mom will buy more if you need them.”

Time crawled at a snail’s pace as I waited for the result. When the test finally stopped blinking, I held my breath, then released it in a whoosh.

I held my chest and squeezed my eyes shut, relief flooding me.

Now I could really move on.

I closed my fingers around the skateboard necklace in my jeans pocket. Aurora had asked Carlotta to return it to me after she left for New York. She’d also given me back her unopened birthday gift, which now waited in my fucking nightstand drawer. For the past few years, Alessio, Massimo, Greta, and I had always given Aurora a birthday present as a group, but this year, after the party fuckup, I’d also bought her skateboard earrings to match the necklace. According to Carlotta’s words, Aurora’s forgiveness couldn’t be bought. Maybe that had been the plan. I wasn’t fucking sure why I’d thought buying her jewelry was a good idea. The only thing I knew was that Aurora had made herself comfortable in my head. It was maddening.

She’d really fled Las Vegas as fast as she could and left what could remind her of me here.

“You’ve been out of it since Aurora left,” Alessio commented as we sat in the dark of Greta’s former ballet studio after a night with a few drug dealers who’d gone behind the Camorra’s back.

I didn’t say anything as I pulled my hand from the pocket without the necklace and turned my arm in thought. It still occasionally felt a bit stiff from the fracture. I actually liked the dull pain, liked how it reminded me of Aurora, of her rage. It had been beautiful to see this side of her, and because of this crazy as fuck thought, I shouldn’t be anywhere near her. Aurora wasn’t a vengeful, angry person, but I made her that way.

“It’s for the best. Distance will allow Aurora to get you out of her mind. That’ll reduce the risk of future drama,” Massimo said.

Distance would maybe allow Aurora to get me out of her mind, but she was a constant pounding in my skull. I couldn’t shake her off. “If I wanted therapy, I’d go to a shrink.”

“The shrink that can stomach your kind of crazy doesn’t exist,” Alessio muttered, then let out a laugh as if he’d made the greatest joke of all time.

Massimo regarded me closely, though I really didn’t know how he could make out much in the dark of the studio. “You’re up to something, and I get the feeling it will cause more trouble. You should be glad Aurora is gone for a few weeks so things can calm down. You realize that, right?”

I did realize that her absence would minimize the risk of Fabiano finding out about our night together. I also realized that her absence didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t like that she was out of our territory, which meant out of my reach and sight.

“Nevio,” Massimo warned in a low voice.

I raised my palms. “I’m here and behaving, what do you want?”

“For you not to follow your first impulse for once.”

I felt naked traveling without any weapons, but considering that this was a standard charter flight and not our Camorra jet, I had to leave everything at home. I’d just have to buy a few things once I was in New York.

Massimo would probably insist his warning had triggered me like a two-year-old going through the terrible twos, but my decision to fly to New York to check on Aurora and make my standpoint clear had been made pretty much the moment I’d heard that she’d left.

After landing in New York, I went to one of the gun sellers I’d found on the darknet and got the necessities like two knives and two guns. Knowing Luca’s overbearing protectiveness, I had to stay on my toes as I walked the neighborhood of the Vitiello townhouse. I didn’t know Aurora’s schedule yet, so that posed a problem. When I eventually, after many hours of waiting, caught sight of Aurora’s face in a car, she was accompanied by Valerio. It was difficult to rate the Vitiello men on my personal dislike chart, but he was probably at the top with Amo merely because of his annoyingly sunny persona that seemed to trick some people into believing he wasn’t Luca’s bloodthirsty spawn. That guy was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I knew a mess-up when I saw one.

I followed the car in a cheap Prius that I’d bought for the occasion. Rental cars always attracted more attention. Valerio’s car disappeared in the guarded underground garage of the building complex that harbored the Famiglia gym, including Gianna’s yoga studio.

My phone vibrated in my pocket with incoming texts. I supposed Massimo and Alessio had noticed my absence by now.

I took my phone out while keeping a side-eye on the building.

The first few texts were indeed from the guys, but then there was one from Greta. She messaged me every day, mostly mundane stuff, but without having opened her message, I had a feeling this wasn’t simply one of these life-update texts.

Where are you? Alessio and Massimo are worried.

Of course, those two had to blab to Greta about my disappearance. They knew me too well. That was why real serial killers never had close friends.

I talked to Aurora.

That caught my interest. I dialed my sister’s number, and she picked up after the second ring.

“We should meet. I don’t want to discuss this over the phone.”

Greta released a small sigh that reminded me of Nino. It held a quiet but firm message full of disapproval. “You’re here?”

“Where can we meet, without your husband? I hope you won’t tell him anything.”

“I’m alone at home right now. I can leave, and we can meet in a park or café.”

“I’ll pick you up. I don’t want you running around alone.”

“I’m safe.”

It was strange to think that her safety wasn’t supposed to be my concern anymore. And now I was supposed to swallow the bitter pill of Aurora finding a new home in New York as well? Fuck it.

I hung up after we’d ironed out a park close to Greta’s apartment where we could meet. Of course, I didn’t head there. Instead I drove directly to the apartment. She left the building when I pulled up. Her eyes immediately went to my car. She ignored it and walked down the sidewalk, away from the surveillance cameras of the building. The smallest hitch in her walk from the injuries she’d suffered let new rage boil up inside me, but I wasn’t here to revisit my failures from the past. Well, not how I failed my sister. I smiled sardonically. I followed slowly until she eventually stopped and got into my car. She hugged me tightly. “I worry about you.”

“I’m not the one married to a madman and far away from my family.”

Greta pulled back with a frown. The concern in her dark eyes didn’t sit well with me.

She released another quiet sigh, then leaned back. I started the car to take us farther away from her home and possible prying eyes. I could just imagine how Amo would react if he knew I was in New York.

The drive to the park didn’t take long. Greta was quiet in the meantime, which wasn’t overly unusual for her but she was watching me in a way that suggested her silence had a deeper meaning.

The moment I parked and turned to her, Greta shook her head. “I don’t think you should be here.”

“Because your husband doesn’t trust me in his city?” Amo and I still weren’t friends, certainly not family. We tolerated each other because of Greta, and even that only barely. Maybe he thought I was here to cause havoc in his city. Or maybe Greta hadn’t told him yet.

“Amo doesn’t know about this yet. He’s at work.”

“You could have messaged him the moment you found out I was in the city.” I wasn’t sure why I still thought it was clever to test Greta’s loyalties. She had married Amo and left Las Vegas, the answer was clear.

“This isn’t about Amo. It’s about Aurora. She doesn’t want to see you. She came to New York because of that.”

“Who says I’m here to see Aurora?”

Greta let out a small sigh and curled her legs under her body. “You hurt her, Nevio. Physically and emotionally.”

The disappointment in Greta’s eyes was a knife in my chest. “What did she tell you?”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to know how much Greta knew.

“We met at Aria’s and Luca’s house a couple of days ago, and she told me a few things, more than you did anyway. Still not everything I believe but enough to make me really worry about you. How could you lose control like that?”

“I’m a mess. I don’t know why you’re surprised,” I said with a twisted smile. My smile died down after a moment. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know. I think Aurora is heartbroken, and unless you want to be with her, I don’t think there’s anything you can do. I’m not even sure that would be enough. Aurora is trying to get over you, and I think it might be for the best.”

“I never saw her like that. She’s like one of us boys, not someone I’d fuck.” She wasn’t even my type. She was too good, too kind, too everything I was not.

“But you did, Nevio, and you took her first without care or consideration.” Greta opened the door and got out and left me sitting in the car. Girls and their firsts, bullshit. I didn’t even realize it was Aurora.

I got out too and followed her into the park. My eyes scanned our surroundings for any threats, but I didn’t detect anything. Still I never fully relaxed. Being in a different territory always felt wrong.

Greta sat down on a bench and I sank down beside her. “How do you feel about what happened?”

Feelings. My favorite topic. In the past, Greta was as wary of emotions as I was, but Amo had to come and ruin it.

I rarely felt guilty unless it involved Greta or Mom, but now an uncomfortable sensation filled my chest. I didn’t want to hurt Aurora, even if I got off on hurting people. The right people, not my people. And Aurora was my people.

“You think she’s on her way to get over me?” I asked, mulling over my sister’s words from the car.

Greta turned her head to me, her eyes searching mine. “Not yet but soon.”

I pulled down her sunglasses perched on her head and covered her piercing gaze with them.

Greta didn’t comment but her lips tightened.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and looked out over New York’s skyline. I didn’t like the idea of Aurora getting over me. If that didn’t make me an asshole after everything that had happened, I didn’t know. “Then whatever she thought she felt for me can’t be that serious.”

“How would you know?” Greta asked curiously. “Have you ever been in love?”

I grimaced, and in the reflection of Greta’s glasses my face took on a grotesquely monstrous appearance, which was very fitting I supposed. I didn’t think Aurora was in love with me. She saw something in me and was attracted to the projection. “You know the answer.”

“I didn’t think I could fall in love before I met Amo.”

I stifled a snide comment about him. Every time Greta mentioned her feelings for Amo, her fucking husband, I wanted to scrub my body with a steel brush. “There’s a difference. I’ve known Aurora forever.”

“Not every love is love at first sight.”

“I’m not in love and won’t be. It’s not in my nature.”

“Then you should allow Aurora to get over you. Return home and give her a chance to move on, to find that love you don’t believe in. It’s the right thing to do.”

I stared up at the sky. If I tilted my head all the way back, it appeared as if not a single skyscraper surrounded us. “The right thing to do…”

It was typically Greta to think doing the right thing was something that was part of my program.

A small part of me wanted to do the right thing, for Aurora, but the far bigger and darker part couldn’t let go of Aurora yet.

Stalking Aurora was a full-time job and required far more stealth than I’d anticipated because Valerio had taken up the job of her personal bodyguard. I followed their car to a coffee shop and watched them enter. To get a better view, I got out of my car and approached the shop until I spotted Rory behind the counter. Her face lit up with a smile, but it wasn’t a joke from Valerio that made her face glow like Christmas decor. What the fuck?

The guy behind the counter smiled broadly at her and leaned toward her as if he wanted to jump over the counter to get even closer to her.

My chest constricted, and I curled my hands to fists. I wasn’t sure why the sight made me so livid. Fuck, I’d never felt so much rage come up so quickly, and that meant a lot coming from I’d felt murderous for plenty of reasons in my life, but this time, a feeling I was entirely unfamiliar with had been the trigger. It took me several heartbeats before I could define the sensation and then even longer to really come to terms with it:

I was jealous.