By Frenzy I Ruin: Chapter 10

This was the first time Carlotta and I went out with the Unholy Trinity, and I hoped it would be a memorable experience. The guys let us enter the building first. The white marble lobby was already crowded, people mingling with drinks, laughing and chatting. Though it was loud, the source of the ear-splitting music came from the living room where people were dancing and crammed together like sardines. Despite this being a huge house, the number of people attending this party surpassed even its capacities.

While Carlotta’s and my entrance was met with mild curiosity or assessing looks from the girls, and appreciative or even flirting looks from the boys, the atmosphere shifted the second Massimo, Alessio, and Nevio stepped in close behind us. We became invisible to the boys, especially when Nevio pulled me against him to murmur, “Remember to behave. Massimo will keep an eye on you and Carlotta.” He pressed a kiss against my temple and was off.

Another one of those annoying friendly kisses!

He left me a little dumbfounded once again, and before I could retort, “Only if you do.”

Nevio headed straight for a room at the end of the big lobby, a kitchen from the looks of it, and the admiring and nervous gazes of almost all the girls followed him.

Alessio chuckled dryly, still beside me just like Massimo and Carlotta. “He’s like a black hole.”

I gave him a blank stare, my brain not catching up, especially as the droning bass made clear thoughts difficult.

“He’s referring to the strong gravity of a black hole.”

“Even light doesn’t have enough energy to escape its pull.” Alessio gave me a meaningful look, then he followed Nevio. Maybe he didn’t notice, but his pull wasn’t so much worse.

Massimo stayed and led us past the gawking masses toward the kitchen. By the time we arrived, Nevio and Alessio were already gone, probably with alcoholic provisions, of which the kitchen had an almost unlimited array. Massimo went over to one of the fridges that must have been set up for this occasion since they barred part of the kitchen counters and took out a can of 7up for Lotta and a can of Mountain Dew for me before he grabbed a Corona from a basket filled with ice for himself.

Because of her heart, Carlotta never drank. She’d once tried a sip of champagne at a wedding, and Diego had gone completely berserk. Since then, she steered clear of it. I didn’t usually drink either because I just didn’t like the taste and didn’t tolerate much, but I guessed that had more to do with my lack of training when it came to alcohol than my general taste.

I took the can from Massimo and took a gulp. Maybe I’d have a drink later, but to start, it was probably a good idea to keep my wits about me. I wanted to get a feel for the party first before I risked getting tipsy.

The other people in the room gave us curious looks, especially Massimo’s presence as our massive shadow. He ignored them and stoically drank his beer. His black polo shirt revealed the tattoos on his arms, which seemed at odds with his nature. Then again, it didn’t.

“You don’t have to play our bodyguard if you prefer to hang out with Nevio and Alessio, or ,” Carlotta said.

I leaned against the counter, allowing the beat to fill me up and watching my friend’s interaction with Massimo. The way she had said someone else had made it clear she meant someone female, at least for me.

Massimo narrowed his eyes slightly and glanced into the living room, which could be seen through the round arch connecting the two rooms. “I know most of these people, but I don’t want to spend time with any of them, nor do they appreciate my company. Alessio and Nevio can entertain themselves and usually do in an annoying way.”

Carlotta nodded toward a group of girls who were watching us, and especially Massimo through the open French doors of the kitchen. “They seem interested in your company.”

I was distracted by something in the living room, so I stopped listening to their conversation, which would probably soon end in a debate anyway. Nevio chatted with two girls, sipping from a vodka bottle. He looked utterly bored, but the girls were definitely interested. Alessio danced with a girl, though she did most of the dancing, and he mostly nodded along with the music. I wasn’t sure how he wasn’t suffering a heatstroke in his hoodie.

Maybe I could get Nevio to dance with me since even Alessio was on the dance floor, doing what could be generously labeled as dancing.

I gave Carlotta a look, my eyes darting to Nevio, and she answered with a small nod, knowing my plan even if she probably disapproved of it, considering her wariness of Nevio. I pushed away from the countertop.

“Where are you going?” Massimo asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Into the living room to dance. People saw me enter the party with you, so I doubt anyone will bother me, and if they do, Alessio and Nevio are there to protect me.”

“I wouldn’t count on Nevio. He’s already drunk one-third of his bottle, and he’ll finish it by midnight.”

“Does he always drink this much?” I asked.

“At parties, yes, especially since Greta has moved to New York. Being around so many people makes him murderous pretty quickly, and the alcohol mellows him out.”

I nodded as if this made sense. I had caught the occasional glimpse behind Nevio’s smirking mask and seen how much he missed his twin. He had a heart, but it was well-guarded. I headed for the living room. The music rang in my ears, and I had to resist the urge to cover them with my palms. Alessio danced toward me, barring my way and leaving me no choice but to engage in a quick dance with him, though that was only for show of course. “Not a good idea, Aurora.”

“What’s your problem?”

“Remember the black hole?”

“I’ve known Nevio and you all my life. You act like I’m an oblivious bystander who’ll be shocked by the skeletons in Nevio’s closet.”

Alessio smiled condescendingly. “You know us by day.”

“It’s dark outside now,” I muttered, glancing past him to Nevio, who perched on the backrest of a long leather sofa while both girls stood closely in front of him.

Alessio shook his head, then danced backward, briefly lifting his hands, palms outwards to signal defeat. I walked around him and headed straight for Nevio, even if my heart hammered hard enough to do lasting damage to my ribs.

Now I wished I’d actually had some alcohol to boost my confidence and silence my doubts. Before I could really go over what to say to him, I was already beside Nevio—and the two girls who gave me their best mean-girl expressions.

“Three is one too many,” the girl with dark curls said.

I would have thought two girls was already one too many, but Nevio probably didn’t agree. I wasn’t naive enough to think he hadn’t done pretty much everything you could do sexually, even a threesome with two girls. I shoved the idea out of my head.

Nevio wrapped an arm around my shoulders, one corner of his mouth pulling up. “Rory is always welcome, and there’s no reason to be jealous, girls. She’s only here to chat with a good friend. Right, Rory?”

I wasn’t here for a good-friend chat. I was here to get out of the friend-zone. Three sets of eyes regarded me expectantly.

I swallowed, trying to say what I’d come here to say. Instead, I muttered, “Right,” and gave them a tight smile. I doubted the girls believed it, and I wasn’t sure if Nevio did either. I took a sip from my beverage, then reached for Nevio’s vodka bottle. He regarded me closely as I brought it to my lips and took the tiniest sip. And holy shit, did it burn. I tried to suppress my coughing, but it was useless. My eyes watered, and a few coughs burst out of me.

Nevio took the bottle from me. “You should stay away from the hard stuff.” The way he said it made me believe he wasn’t only referring to the vodka. Annoyed at myself and Nevio, I retreated. By now, Massimo and Carlotta had found a place on a sofa in the corner. I didn’t want to go over to them.

Instead, I headed outside into the garden, which wasn’t as crowded as the inside but not as deserted as I would have liked in my current mood. I took a deep breath but only got a whiff of smoke and something sweeter, probably marijuana. My belly tightened. Having seen what drugs did to my grandmother, I’d never been tempted by joints, much less any harder stuff. Dad would have probably locked me into my room until I was thirty if he ever suspected me of doing drugs.

“I warned you,” Alessio said, almost giving me a heart attack as he appeared right behind me. He held a joint in his hand.

I gave him a hard look. “You shouldn’t smoke that.”

“I’m working on my self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s all part of the plan.”

“That made no sense,” I said.

He gave me a dark smile and took a brief pull from his joint. “I know. I guess I’m trying to channel the past.”

I hoped he realized that he sounded crazy. He chuckled and tossed the joint away, then squashed it with his boot. “Self-destruction comes in different forms. You have your Nevio. I have my joint.”

“Oh, shut up.”

He became serious. “Listen, Rory, this emotional bullshit isn’t my thing, but if you really feel like you need to ruin yourself with Nevio, then at least pick a different place and time. Nevio at parties is like a crack pipe. The rush is short and not worth the utter havoc it’ll wreak on you.”

“Why do you insist on protecting me? I don’t see you warning Carlotta from Massimo?”

Alessio scoffed. “Carlotta has God, and Massimo has logic. They’ll be fine.”

I took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine, okay? Nevio doesn’t want anything from me. We’re just good friends, so you can chill.”

Alessio’s expression piqued my curiosity.

“Right?” I asked.

Alessio backed away. “Let him do the noble thing for once, Rory. Don’t be stupid. Don’t tempt something you can’t control.”

He turned on his heel and vanished inside the house. If he’d planned on keeping me away from Nevio, his tactic had backfired.

I went inside, even more determined than before. If Nevio pushed me away because he thought he was being noble, I would show him that I didn’t need protection, least of all from him.

I was a Scuderi. I wasn’t an outsider who’d cry herself to sleep over all the horrors in his past . Dad was an Enforcer, and even if I didn’t like to dwell on the details of his daily work, I knew it was cruel and brutal. I still loved him, and so did Mom.

Nevio wasn’t in the living room when I entered. Massimo and Carlotta were still in the spot I’d last seen them, though. She gave me a questioning look and made a move as if she wanted to come over to me. I shook my head. I was fine. She looked doubtful, but I shook my head again.

I headed for the kitchen, but Nevio wasn’t there either, so I moved to the wide staircase that led up to the second floor. What if he was up there with the girls? I really didn’t want to catch him in the act. It was one thing to know what he was up to. It was a very different matter to see him.

I hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. What would I even do if I found him with the two girls? Jump between them? Drag him away?

“Are you lost?” asked a guy with dark blond hair, a polo shirt with a turned-up collar, and a scar on his cheek that suggested he was in one of the old-fashioned fraternities.

I felt it sometimes. I gave him a firm smile. “No, I’m fine.”

He hovered. “Are you alone?”

“No, here with friends,” I said. “Umm, is there anything else you need?” I hoped he’d get the memo. I wasn’t interested in his flirting. Maybe making Nevio jealous would have been an option, but I didn’t want to start playing these kinds of games, and if Nevio wasn’t interested in me, jealousy was hardly on the menu.

I spotted Alessio in the doorway to the kitchen, watching with mild interest. I didn’t want to cause a scene, for which the Unholy Trinity was notorious, and narrowed my eyes at him. He stayed where he was and didn’t intervene.

The guy followed my gaze, then made a face and left without saying another word.

Alessio strolled past me, looking pleased with himself. “Nevio doesn’t get jealous…”

I sighed and went upstairs before he involved me in another of his ominous warnings.

My heart sped up as I reached the first-floor landing. No one was in the hall, but I could hear voices and giggles from a couple of rooms and around the corner at the end of the hallway. I slowly walked through the corridor toward the corner.

A girl’s voice rose in anger, and a deep male voice said something in turn. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but I could tell it wasn’t nice just from the tone. It was definitely Nevio’s voice.

I stopped right before the corner, worried about what I’d walk in on. A slap sounded, making me jump. I rounded the corner as Nevio grabbed a girl by the throat and pushed her against the wall, his chin and left lower cheek turning red, and his eyes terrifying enough that even I was a little scared of him. The girl looked positively out of her mind from fear.

“Never again,” Nevio snarled, then his eyes slanted to me, standing frozen in the corridor. He released the girl immediately and stepped back. With a harsh smile, he backed up to the wall and leaned against it. His fly was open and his boxers below askew. He wasn’t even wearing a shirt, only his leather jacket.

The girl shoved away from the wall and rushed past me. As she did, she hissed at me. “You can have him. Have fun sucking his dick.”

I watched her leave with parted lips. I wasn’t sure what had happened. From the corner of my eye, I saw Nevio right his boxers and pull up his fly. He obviously didn’t expect me to do what the girl had suggested, though he must have heard her. He pulled a cigarette from his pants pocket and lit it up, then took a deep pull.

For a while, we just stood like that, not saying anything.

He was leaning against the wall, his head bowed down, his hair falling into his face, and he was hiding his expression from me. The half-empty vodka bottle stood beside him on the ground. I couldn’t believe he’d already drunk half of it. The cigarette dangled from his mouth, the tip glowing ominously. My eyes traced his muscled arms, pronounced six-pack, and the narrow swing of his hips, hating the idea that the girl had felt this part of him, that she’d run her hands over him how I wanted to do. I’d known Nevio all my life, had seen him shirtless countless times, but in the past few years, the sight had had a different impact on me. I wanted to touch him, to feel his body against mine, to lean my nose into his neck and smell him—sandalwood and musk, sometimes the hint of copper, which I never allowed my mind to dwell on.

My skin became hot, then hotter when I followed the hint of dark hairs into his black jeans. His leather belt was already half unbuckled. My chest ached thinking of what I’d almost overheard. It didn’t make me want him any less. Every part of me desired Nevio.

It wasn’t healthy or advisable, but it was fact, how Massimo loved to say, and in consequence, Carlotta too. I should be with her now, not up here, especially not up here with Nevio. But Carlotta was safe. Much safer than me in every sense of the word.

I had a feeling this was my chance. Maybe my only one. Nevio’s guard was down. I could…what could I really do? Talking to him was out of the question in the state he was in. I’d seen how much he’d drunk, not to mention the marijuana he’d smoked, which I could smell even from a distance. Maybe I could… kiss him. Show him that I wasn’t one of the guys. He hadn’t glanced my way in the way I’d hoped tonight despite my outfit, not in a way that other guys looked at me, even if it was so unlike anything I usually wore. I was air to him. I wasn’t sure what else to do to catch his attention.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he gritted out with the cigarette between his teeth, still not looking up.

“I needed a break from the party and thought it would be quiet up here.”

“You shouldn’t be at this party,” he clarified and raised his face, his dark eyes hitting me.

So that was what he thought.