CH 3.2

“Achoo!”

The extremely bored and guarding while sitting Bai Xia Xia used her cat paws to rub her ears, they were unbearably itchy.

Bai Xia Xia scratched hard.

Persian cats, this breed, were beautiful, elegant, cute, extravagant, with innumerable good points, but there was just one thing that was not good.

Their fur was long, prone to hiding and accumulating dirt and enticing parasites and other things.

When Bai Xia Xia transmigrated and found herself in a wild jungle, she paid special attention to this aspect.

Afraid of enticing dirty things and getting sick, then constantly washing up and grinding her back.

Later, she was able to find a great massage place.

Living by the creek located in the northwest of the base, the family of white-haired wild monkeys on the fifth tree.

White haired monkey(?)

She bought fur caring and massage services from them.

Monkey Mother was smart, they immediately understood when Bai Xia Xia mentioned it.

Bai Xia Xia was very generous, so they were extremely happy, completely willing to do it.

The whole family provided fur cleaning services. In the beginning, they worked but did not find anything. On the first two times, Bai Xia Xia did not find any dirty thing on herself.

Because of that, Bai Xia Xia began to doubt, thinking that it was possibly because she had transmigrated and had a mutation.

She thought that maybe she would not grow dirty things, but later, she missed the massage service from the monkeys, and was not able to block her necessity for cleanliness.

She went a third time. This time, Monkey Mother diligently flipped out many creeping little bugs.

Upon seeing them, Bai Xia Xia’s legs had softened, her mouth becoming dry, and her scalp going numb.

She speedily bought a Wild Monkey membership, a monthly one.

Sigh, she did not know if those bugs had been taken from over her body.

Bai Xia Xia had seriously doubted if she had been presented an act, but she did not have evidence.

Because of Bai Xia Xia’s enlightenment to the white monkey family, they had now even opened a store. Their clients were varied, the number was not high, but nothing could beat an extra income.

When Bai Xia Xia heard about it, she had become speechless: When animals start to become intelligent, there will be no need for humans.

Thin cat ears that were slightly red itched more the more she scratched. Bai Xia Xia self controllingly scratched hard one last time, then put down her paw.

She turned her face; the road was still quiet without any movements. Da Hua had long become impatient from waiting, his big tail shaking left and right.

“Xia Xia, let’s leave! Let’s go to the monkeys’ house, comfortable!” Da Hua did not understand what massage was, but he knew that it was comfortable!

Bai Xia Xia rejected the Amur tiger that wanted to get monkey massage with an expressionless cat face, and for the twenty-seventh time, she wanted to collect tuition fee from the family of monkeys.

“You go, Monkey Mother isn’t there, no monkey will dare to do it for you.”

Da Hua thought about it and felt that it was true. His head slumped without energy, “Oh.”

“If you wait here, when the time comes, I’ll call someone[1] to give you an authentic massage!” A monkey massaging cannot be compared to a human[1].

Da Hua was so conflicted that his fat face turned into a ball of wrinkles, smacked his lips, and his big tongue licked his mouth.

He glanced at the two-legged Qin Xiao that did not have claws, an ugly fellow that did not even grow fur… pouted his mouth in disdain, then accepted without much interest.

Bai Xia Xia appeased once again the ADHD Da Hua, her cat face full of worries.

Should I make use of this opportunity, to find a poop shovel officer (pet owner) for myself.

The base was closely located, so not only would she be able to take warm showers and eat cooked food but going into the mountain would also be very convenient.

Back when she had just transmigrated, Cuilian Mountain was vibrant and full of life, a place where everything could germinate and grow. It was indeed a sunny spring period, and when Bai Xia Xia went into the river to take a bath, nothing bad happened to her.

Now, midsummer had already passed, and autumn was visibly approaching. Bai Xia Xia had not, for more than half a year, eaten malatang[2], drunk bubble tea, and her taste buds were about to die from lack of taste[3].

Malatang

Milk bubble tea with tapioca pearls

The meat jerky that she occasionally got now and then by fooling others with her cuteness were also stolen by Da Hua, this gluttonous fellow.

Living in the wild, the days were hard.

Danger was everywhere on Cuilian Mountain. Bai Xia Xia had almost died many times and only survived until now difficultly by relying of her capacity to adapt cleverly and her resourcefulness.

I can live through spring and summer, but if it’s autumn… Bai Xia Xia tilted her head, I also can’t keep stealing squirrel Xiao Jiu’s dried fruits and mushrooms that were diligently stashed through hard work.

When she just came here, she did not have anything to eat. It just so happened that she found Xiao Jiu’s nest and ate until her belly was full and round.

She had been caught in the act by Xiao Jiu. Its distressed appearance while grieving, even now when Bai Xia Xia remembered it, she felt guilty.

Stealing food from a baby squirrel that was not even one year old, cough, cough…

Bai Xia Xia: It’s not that I can’t do it again, after all, I’ve already done it once.

Cats stealing food, isn’t that very normal?

I’ll try to find a poop shovel officer to take care of me first. It’ll be best if they have a car, a house, and a fixed job. Even better would be if their temperament is gentle and they love cats.

Their looks can’t be too bad, otherwise, I won’t have the appetite to eat.

There’s already one that isn’t too bad… Bai Xia Xia sneaked a glance at Qin Xiao, let’s get a poop shovel officer to try cohabitating, if it doesn’t work… then I’ll partner up with Xiao Jiu.

Mm, then it’s decided, just like that.

After all, I know all about Xiao Jiu’s secret treasure stashes, whether we partner up or not is solely up to me.

That fool thinks that just because it understands what having a back-up plan is[4], that just because it has heard about it, he’s already a big shot?

Putting on the act of making one stash here and then making another one behind my back, sneakily finding a new saving point, was it even possible for me not to know?

Hmph.

Bai Xia Xia’s cat face was not able to hide the wickedness of a villain,  and she very roguishly licked her cat paw.

— —Simply, smug!

In the mountain forest, a squirrel with a big tail that was akin to a tree trunk with light and shadow across it looked around its surroundings vigilantly, moving its ears.

This squirrel was born particularly beautiful.

Reddish brown fur that was bright and smooth, a tail that was extremely bushy like an explosion.

Reddish brown fur squirrel

Its small, beady eyes looked all around, and after making sure that there was no danger, it hurriedly ran down the tree.

It was very different from ordinary squirrels, its bulging cheeks did not count, on its neck also hung a sturdy little cloth bag.

The insides of the bag were packed full, up to the brim with things.

“Hum~”

“Jijiji…”

Xiao Jiu’s paws grabbed onto the tree bark, jumped onto the ground, and dragged the little cloth bag, seriously searching for a new, concealed storage location.

Scoundrel Xia Xia isn’t here.

Xiao Jiu has three stashes, five stashes, six stashes… stupid Xia Xia! Thinking that I’m stupid for real.

Hmph, those places that are only hiding a measly number of things are all only covers, right, they’re fake!

The little squirrel smugly flicked its tail. Today’s Xiao Jiu was still being amazed by its own intelligent self.

It diligently moved its food to fight against the evil force cat, storing food for winter.

Translator’s comments:

Bai Xia Xia is the definition of bullying the weak and fawning over the strong ^^.

Translator’s notes:

[1] Here, the word ‘人 (rén)’ is used. It can mean many things, such as: human, someone, person, etc. depending on the way it’s used. In the first sentence, Bai Xia Xia’s words have double meaning, ‘someone’ and ‘human’. Da Hua interprets it as ‘someone’ since he knows and labels humans as ‘two-legged beasts’, but Bai Xia Xia implies ‘human’ too, as can be seen from her thoughts in the following sentence. So she’s practically saying that she’ll call a human to give him a massage, but he doesn’t understand.

[2] Malatang or 麻辣烫 (má là tàng) is a hot spicy soup close to hot pot that is used to boil food and that is commonly found in street stalls of China. Its key ingredient is mala sauce, which is a combination of Sichuan pepper and dried chili pepper.

[3] Here, the literal translation was that ‘the insides of her mouth were so tasteless that a bird could come out of it’. It was just a way of saying that she hadn’t eaten seasoned food for too long.

[4] Idiomatic expression ‘狡兔三窟 (jiǎo tù sān kū)’: the literal translation is a crafty rabbit has three burrows, and it’s used to express that a person should have more than one plan to use in case something unexpected happens.