Chapter 4: Alpha’s Secret: Chapter 4

Grizz

I’m up a little after one p.m., closing the door to the bedroom softly and growling at the bright light. I could’ve stayed in bed and held Jordy for hours, but we’ve got a lot to do, starting with meeting Declan and friends at the Fight Club. Almost twelve hours, and I’m no closer to figuring out why vampires are risking the peace treaty to take shifters than before. And now I have a captive, a complication I didn’t foresee.

Augustine is gonna shit his pants when he notices she’s gone. He might not care about her too much, but vampires don’t like other people playing with their toys without their permission. Control thing.

Augustine can kiss my werebear ass. Still, no need for him to know if he doesn’t have to. I took her telling myself I’d return her as soon as I got the info I need. She’s my only lead, the only shifter I know who services a vampire.

The fact that my heart flips when I see her standing in the entrance to the kitchen, sleepy-eyed and wearing nothing but one of my flannels has nothing to do with the reason I’m keeping her. She’s part of the job, nothing more.

I can’t describe how much I like the sight of her in my shirt and the pair of socks I left out for her. My cock is so hard it’s about to split in two.

I turn back to the counter to hide it. No sense scaring her.

“Sit down,” I tell her as she hesitates, blinking in the bright light. I dish up the meat I’ve been cooking, confident that she’ll obey. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, sir,” she answers softly. I’ve heard submissives call their doms ‘sir’ countless times, but the word never made my cock stir like it does on Jordy’s lips. Fates, what’s that about?

I turn, ready to tell her to just call me Grizz but she looks so small, so heart-wrenchingly fragile sitting at my kitchen table with her legs dangling, I don’t have the heart to correct her. So what if she calls me sir. Maybe it makes her feel more comfortable. I can sacrifice my comfort to make her happy.

The fact that I hope she’ll say it again means nothing. For some reason my bear is into her. Doesn’t have to mean anything.

I get back to cooking, asking over my shoulder, “Did you have any more dreams?”

She doesn’t answer right away. Her hand strokes her neck where her collar used to be, her gaze faraway.

I raise my voice over the bacon’s sizzle. “Jordy, did you hear? I asked if you dreamed again.”

“I heard.”

I raise a brow. Is she playing games, trying to resist me? This is the opposite of sir. Is she pushing for punishment? “And?”

“I had them again.” She keeps her eyes on the table. Her reluctance only makes me want to push more. I need to question her, anyway. With any other witness, I’d have done it long ago, instead of coddling her and letting her sleep. Fates, she has me off my game.

“Were they bad dreams?” I’m not letting her off so easily.

Her forehead creases. “Yes.”

“Was it about Augustine?

“No. Another vampire.”

“A vampire Augustine loaned you out to?”

She shrugs. Not a direct answer but I don’t push it. I set the bacon aside and start on the eggs and sausage. For all her reluctance to answer my questions, she’s at ease. Her fingers fiddle with items on my table—a pen, a stack of old junk mail.

Maybe I don’t have to do this the hard way. “How’d you get to be with Augustine anyway?”

She mumbles something. I set a cover on the frying pan, go to her and tip her chin up. “Tell me.”

“My family sold me.” She doesn’t look in my eyes. Her cheeks grow pink.

I swallow my anger and release her, but don’t move away. “Why?”

“Too many mouths to feed. My clan was getting too big, harder to hide. Foxes have to hide.”

I grunt in understanding. Prey animals usually survive by hiding.

“I also broke the rules,” she offers after a moment.

“How?”

“I helped a stranger. Someone outside of the clan, but a blood relative. She was searching for my older brother, and I gave her information to help her. But it put the clan in danger, so when there was a chance to get rid of me, they took it.”

“That’s fucked up,” I growl. Her face falls.

“How did they sell you to Augustine?”

She shrugs, looking miserable. “There were these men in dark masks. They smelled blank, like their scent was wiped away. Then there was an auction, and I ended up with Augustine.”

I should be focused on this information and be relentless about asking her follow-up questions to find out as much as I can about the shifter slavers, but I can’t. All I can focus on is Jordy. Her shoulders are up by her ears, her scent sad and ashamed. No wonder she doesn’t want questions about her past. She’s probably toning down the horrible way she’s been treated, letting the memories fade. If I’d been through all that, I’d have nightmares too.

I grip her shoulder. I want to comfort her, but what am I gonna say? “It’s okay.” Is it me or does she lean into my hand a little before I remove it?

I go back to making breakfast. We fall into silence, but Jordy doesn’t seem to mind. She’s comfortable sitting where I told her to sit, sifting through things on the table. She even picks up a pen and starts doodling in the corners of an old coupon flyer.

“Why do you think he wanted you?”

Still drawing with the pen, she answers readily. “I’m a submissive.”

“So?”

“Sweetblood. That’s what they call us.”

“I thought sweetbloods were all human.”

“No. There are human submissives.” She’s got her head down, still doodling. “But Augustine says they take work.”

I lean back on the counter as I think about this. “Humans submissives need to be seduced and coddled. And you can’t just make them disappear. But buy a prey shifter at an auction and you can do what you want.”

“Right.”

“You were already off the radar in hiding with your clan. To the world, you don’t exist.”

She shrinks a little more. The pen in her hand stills.

“Jordy.” I wait until her gaze flicks to me. “I’m not asking about this because I want to. It’s part of my job.”

A pause and she gives a short nod. It’s not much, but it makes my bear feel better.

Jordy

Grizz bends over the stove, his corded biceps bunching as he stirs the sizzling meat. He covers the pan and heads to the fridge, rummaging around there for another package wrapped in butcher’s paper. He moves fluidly for such a big guy. His powerful bulk flows from the fridge to the stove and the controlled grace of his movements makes my breath flutter in my chest.

My fox is fascinated by him. I have to admit, she has a point. He’s so large and rugged, he belongs on a mountain, chopping down trees. On a construction site, working with his hands. Or in a war zone, unleashing the violence I sense inside him. Watching him cook in the kitchen is like having Godzilla knit you a sweater. The great and powerful executing the mundane. Every little domestic thing he does is a miracle.

“What did Augustine do once he had you?” he asks. I focus on my hands and the point where the pen touches the paper. The ink leaks out easily and I doodle swoops and swirls. A flowered vine grows in the margin of the faded newspaper.

“Nothing too bad. He told me he was my master. I was supposed to obey. If I didn’t he’d punish me. I was rewarded for my obedience with sexual pleasure.”

Grizz growls a little at that—I’m not sure if it’s the punishment or reward he objects to. “And he’d loan you out.”

“Yeah. I liked that less. Most of those doms respected his boundaries, though.” I shiver and clutch the pen tighter in my left hand, while my right presses to my chest and rubs the itchy skin over my heart. I jolt when I realize Grizz is watching me, eyes narrow. His gaze follows my hand and I drop it in my lap. I wait for him to say something, but he grabs a plate and loads it up for me, setting it down with a decisive clunk.

“Eat. Need to get some meat on your bones.”

I stare at the piled plate, my mouth watering. I haven’t eaten this well in months. Certainly not this much food. I’ve trained myself not to think bad things about Augustine—otherwise I never would’ve been able to endure my life in his lair—but being with Grizz makes all the bad stuff come into focus.

“Jordy,” he puts a hand on the back of my neck as he returns with his own plate. “Eat. That’s an order.”

I snatch up my fork and begin shoveling food in, chewing as fast as I can. My stomach cramps against the sudden onslaught.

“Whoa, whoa,” Grizz says, his hand still resting on my bare neck. “Slow down.”

Instantly I put down the fork and focus on my full mouth.

“Sorry about that,” he murmurs. “I need to watch the orders.”

“It’s all right,” I swallow. “I’m used to them.”

“I want you to be okay. And healthy. Did Augustine really feed you dog food?”

I nod.

He growls and I startle. “Shhh, it’s okay.” His big hand squeezes mine. “I’m not mad at you.”

“I know.” I lift my eyes to his, taking comfort in the yellow blaze of his bear.

“You need to eat well. You’re not a dog.”

“I’m a fox. That’s close enough.”

“You’re a shifter. A lovely young woman. You need real food.”

My cheeks warm. He called me lovely. “Augustine didn’t want me to eat too much. He liked me thin.”

“Liked having you weak and dependent, probably.”

I press my lips together. He’s right, though I feel guilty even agreeing with him. I should be loyal to my master.

Grizz’s face gets tight when I tell him this. “Why? He didn’t treat you well.”

I set my fork down. “He treated me better than the clan did.”

The big man grunts at that. He plows through his food while I pretend to look at my plate, sneaking glances at him whenever I’m sure he’s not looking. The scar on his face isn’t ugly, I decide. The seam makes him look dangerous, not weak. His nose is crooked, like it’s been broken and set badly, but that only adds to his violent aura. Combined with the tattoos, rough stubble and shoulder length golden locks, he looks like a badass biker. The type to live free or die.

I’m confident I’ve gotten away with studying him without him noticing when he reaches out and grips my knee. Instant arousal gushes through me, a flood filling the cup of my sex. I squeeze my legs together to keep from overflowing. I know what it’s like to get turned on—Augustine took delight in making me desire his bite and beg for it as much as he enjoyed hurting me—but I’ve never felt anything like this.

Grizz raises his head, his nostrils flaring. He turns bright eyes to me, high beams in the dark. His fingers give me one more squeeze.

“You finished eating?”

I nod, unable to speak.

He forks the rest of my food into his mouth, eating with his hand on me like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like he can’t tell my breathing has quickened and the air is filled with my scent.

“You called me sir, earlier,” he says casually. “Why did you stop?”

“You didn’t like it,” I whisper before I can stop myself. He doesn’t need to know how closely I watch him, how I saw his lips press together in the start of a frown when I said it the first time. How I pushed to see how far I could push before his dominance kicked in. Testing limits is just something I do naturally.

He grunts and I feel a second of panic. “You didn’t want me to keep calling you sir, did you?” Did I read the signs right? The thought that I might have disappointed him squeezes my chest.

“No, no,” he soothes, catching my hand. “Relax, Kit. You can be yourself. I want you to be yourself around me.”

“Okay.” I lower my eyes. How can I explain that submissive is just what I am?

“Good girl,” he rumbles and in an instant I’m content. Maybe he knows what I am. At least, on some level. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it.

With one final squeeze, he rises and clears the table.

“Time to go, Kit. You wanna wrap up in that blanket?”

“What?”

“You need clothes. You can wear my flannel, but wrap up in that blanket so I can take you out.”

Grizz

Jordy blinks at me.

“Kit, let’s get a move on.”

It’s bad enough that she’s looking at me with big baby doll eyes. Her scent surrounds me, sweet as fuck, and I’m thinking about my fantasy in the club last night. A sexy little piece who will trot around my home in a shirt and no panties, drop to her knees whenever I want. Here she is, but I can’t touch her. She belongs to a vampire.

She plucks at the shirt that swallows her small body. “I can borrow this?”

“Yeah, seeing as you got nothing else to wear. We’ll get you clothes first thing.”

With a sassy smile, she slips it off.

“Kit…” My mouth is dry. I saw her naked in the club and this morning when she tried to run away, but somehow, having her in my den is different. Her pale body is freckled, her torso slender and thighs sturdy. She looks like she belongs here. My mouth waters.

Before I can ask what she’s doing, she pulls my shirt around her, leaving her arms free, and buttons it up almost all the way. The middle button ends up between her breasts and the shirt clings to her. She takes the arms and wraps them around her like a belt. “There,” she smiles, pleased. The shirt dress ends about mid thigh and leaves her shoulders bare, but it’s enough coverage to hit the surplus store.

“Good enough,” I say, and it comes out a growl. Not surprising, I’m pretty close to tossing her over my shoulder and taking her back into the bedroom. ‘Cause that’ll teach her to trust me.

I shrug on my jacket as Jordy sticks her feet into my extra pair of Timberlands. The boots are enormous but she stuffs paper around the socks.

I check my pocket for my flask and weapons, taking care to hide what I’m packing from Jordy. “Let’s go.”

Outside she waits and watches me switch out the license plates on the truck.

“This truck is hot,” I explain.

“Hot?”

“Stolen.”

She cocks her head to the side. “Why did you steal it?”

“Couldn’t take you on the bike.”

A sigh escapes her. She’s gnawing on her lip, staring out over the valley.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Grizz, seriously, why am I here? Augustine isn’t gonna like it.”

“You call him master and sometimes Augustine.”

She flushes, her eyes meeting the ground.

“It’s not a judgment. I’m just curious about it. The dom submissive stuff is a game.”

“It isn’t,” she insists.

I raise a brow at her as I haul my tool box back to the shed.

“It is, and it isn’t,” she falters. “You know how important dominance and submission is to shifters. We live and die by it.”

“Yeah, but the sexual part. I don’t get it.”

She gnaws her lip, staring up at me. I’m about to order her to stop biting her lip before she chaps it, when she blurts, “Haven’t you ever wanted to give someone everything? Prove how much you love them?”

She presses forward, laying a hand on my chest, right over my heart. Her touch hits me like a Taser. I jerk but she doesn’t notice. Her eyes are wide, rapt, and words rush from her like she’s been holding them in all her life. “Haven’t you wanted to love someone so much you’d do anything, even let them drag you beyond the boundaries of normal, into forbidden territory? And you go with them, just to show how much you trust them. You’d do anything for them. You’d give your life, your heart, your pain, and it’d be a pleasure.”

The air leaves my lungs. “Jordy—”

“Don’t you want a love like that?” She has both hands on me now, her little fingers fisting in my leather jacket. “If you found it, wouldn’t you do anything to hold on to it?”

I take her wrists. “Kit—”

“Wouldn’t you?”

I stare at her. She’s got a clear blue ring around her eyes but it fades to brown close to the pupil. Her lips are plump and soft. She’s up on tiptoe, her whole body thrown into convincing me of what she’s saying, hoping I’ll understand.

I hate to disappoint her. “No, Kit. I can’t say that I would.”

It hurts watching the light fade from her face. She starts to pull away and I grip her wrists tighter.

“Did you love Augustine?” My words come out a growl.

She bites her lip and looks away. I take hold of her chin and turn her face back to mine. “Answer me.” My bear is clawing my insides, roaring to break free.

“No, okay. I don’t. But I like what we have. My fox is…I need to be protected. All I ever wanted was that.” Her shoulders slump at the admission. It’s a half lie. She wanted more, but she settled for protection. I want to say something, comfort her, but what? We don’t see the world the same way. For me, there’s only predator and prey, and I’ve made damn sure I’m a predator. Jordy is weak. At worst, she’s prey, a pawn to those more powerful than her. At best, she’s collateral damage. But I can’t say that. On some level, she already knows it. Despite her hope for something better. A love to be all, end all.

“I guess it sounds silly to you,” she whispers. She won’t meet my eyes.

I drop her chin. I’ve done enough damage.

“Get in the truck, Kit. We need to go.”