Sleep hasn't come, it wasn't surprising to me, yet it would be a lie if I said I wasn't on the brink of falling asleep. Washu hasn't returned for the night, and I was strongly hoping that was due to having fun instead of trouble.
After restless attempts at getting some sleep, my first solution was to go to the park where I spent the remaining hours watching the stars.
I enjoyed it, but Keith's presence was still in the back of my head. He was watching me, I knew that, but finding the princess has been slowly overshadowed by the life on Earth.
Just a little longer, a bit more, greedily wanting to explore whatever it was the woman has made me feel, terrified however of how the want dangerously lined with need and desire.
"That's all," I told the cashier and grabbed the order from the local cafe.
Making my way towards Nahla's apartment, Georgia was leaving through the front door. She hasn't seen me until I held it for her to make it easier for the old lady to walk out.
"Oh," she uttered, her grumpy expression changing into a smirk when she saw me. "Nice to see you around here"âshe glanced at the coffee and bags of pastryâ"with breakfast."
Squinting at her, unsure of what she was getting at I shrugged and responded without a second thought. "It's for Nahla," I informed.
She laughed and patted my shoulder, "Oh, I know honey, I know. She's beautiful isn't she?"
Nodding the older woman snorted and waved me off, "Go then, before the coffee gets cold."
"Do you need any help?" I found myself asking.
She was a bit surprised by it and responded with a more serious tone. "Going to doctor's nothing you can help me with, this time."
"Okay, take care."
As I walked up the staircaseâtheir elevators didn't seem trustworthyâI tried to process this relatively simple and casual conversation. In the beginning, I thought there was no place for me on this planet, that only Washu could fit, but slowly it was becoming apparent, even someone like myself had a chance of finding herself around humans.
When I knocked at the woman's door, I patiently waited for her to open, keeping in mind that walking required a bit more time and energy on her part.
It was funny, my heart instantly has let itself known by beating louder when her messy chestnut hair poked out from behind the door.
"Jonah... I told you not to come," she said with a groggy voice.
Arching a brow at her shocked expression, she was speechless when realizing who it was.
"I got some breakfast? I read on the internet that's what people want after drinking, or maybe it's not... Anyway, I just wanted to give this to you, you don't have to eat it." I tried to explain only to begin getting lost in my own words.
"Come in sweetheart, stop talking," she laughed while opening the door further for me to enter. "Leave it there," she pointed at the little table. "Let me go change."
"Okay," was all I said having a hard time looking away from her gorgeous legs that even when walking inwards were nothing but alluring.
She returned not long after with dark pants and a green sweater loosely hanging on her shoulders, exposing a lot of her tempting neck.
Wait.
Since when was I paying attention to such things? Unsure of my own thought process I got up and stood in front of the mysterious human, who so innocently played with my head.
"You have something here," I pointed at the corner of my cheek, Nahla gasped and desperately tried to free one of her hands out of the crutches, but before she managed to do so I placed my arm around her lower back and brought her closer. "Just let me," I said shortly, and after receiving a nod without further ado wiped the spot with my thumb.
"It's toothpaste..." she muttered shily.
Smiling at her deepened blush, she made my heart feel so warm and good, I craved to feel this at all times.
"Are you better today?" I wondered with a little frown, worried she might have still been unwell.
"Mhm," she muttered softly. "I'm very sorry about the last night, you shouldn't have seen it."
This human found the need to apologize for everything, and as much as I thought it endearing, I wished she wouldn't be so worried.
"The guy should be sorry for being rude," I scoffed, and die while he's at it. "Throughout the entire time I was there I wished to hold your hand whenever you felt anxious."
A beautiful laugh has escaped her pinky lips as she glanced at me from under her lashes. "You are always so sweet to me," her words spoken with such emotion and care. "It's fine, apparently no one will ever want to settle for a disabled woman. It seems to be the first thing they see."
"I don't see your disability, you are doing perfectly fine on your own, there's nothing disabled about you. But I do wish to be there for you whenever you need a little help"âI tightened my holdâ"ensure you are stable and ready to live through the day with that smile of yours."
"Elina," she was breathless. "We should drink that coffee now..." she somehow managed to say.
Opening the cup I bought for myself I sniffed it a few times before cringing at the smell. That's what humans loved to drink?
"What's wrong," she laughed at my reaction. "Don't tell me you never had coffee before?" There was a surprise in her tone and expression as if it wasn't normal.
Scoffing I was too proud to admit, "Of course I had it!" I admonished and took a sip, only to nearly spit it out as I coughed without a break.
"Oh no," Nahla scooted closer with an apologetic smile as she rubbed my back, which felt incredibly nice and made this entire thing worth it. "I thought you would never lie to me," she teased after I grumbled some incoherent words.
"I can't do coffee it seems," I noted to myself.
She laughed amused. "Please don't. Here, have this," her hand offered me a piece of pastry I got this morning. Leaning forward I took a bite, enjoying the taste of what the cashier described as almond filling. "Better, yes? It seems you are too sweet for coffee my dear."
"I'm not sweet," I protested after swallowing the food. "But you are free to think whatever you want of me."
Her pleased smile was enough, no comment was necessary as she slowly drank her coffee and ate the other pastry. We remained in the comfortable silence for a bit longer until I dared to ask.
"Jonah is coming over?"
She moved her legs comfortably onto the sofa with the use of her hands before answering. "Ah, I did mention him, didn't I? Well... He was supposed to accompany me today as he always does on Saturday but I'm too tired to deal with anyone at the moment."
A pang of pain at the possibility of being unwanted. I blurted out, "Should I leave?"
"Whatâ?!" she panicked and carefully placed her hand close to mine; our pinkies almost touching. "No... I enjoy having you around. I'm surprised but very grateful that you came." After another pause, she added. "And you were cute with that coffee, so thank you for making me laugh."
Sighing I smirked and leaned against the back of the sofa. "You are the cute one here, professor. May I dare to say adorable even."
She grinned exposing a line of her white teeth, reminding me of a happy child. "Are you flirting with me, my sweet girl?" she joked oblivious to the fact that I actually was.
"You got me," I condensed defeated. "On another note, why won't you let me help with whatever it was Jonah was supposed to do?"
Her smile fell almost instantly and I slightly regretted asking, however when she moved closer, just enough to rest her head against my shoulder I exhaled relieved she wasn't upset with me.
"Not sure if I want to involve you in my mess... This," she took my hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Is beyond our personal problems, it's fun and distracting. Inviting you into my life would destroy this friendship we have."
Humming deeply, I understood where she was coming from. We didn't know much about each other, and it was obvious I would never be able to tell her the truth about myself without Alifa killing us both for breaking the rules.
"The moment we cross this line of wonder and silence would be the beginning of no return, however... Let me in slowly," it didn't feel right to give up now. "I won't question nor look for a reason. Whatever you want explain you can, and whichever part you wish to remain a secret you might keep it. Iâ" bitting onto my own tongue, proceeding with this confession would mean future hurt.
No. It was already too late for that.
"I wish to be by your side, that's all. You make me calm, and you make me laugh. There's nothing more I would ever ask of you than that."
She snuggled further into my neck her hand letting go of mine only to grab my shirt in a desperate attempt to not let go. I scooped her closer, which wasn't too difficult, she was nearly sitting on my lap at this point.
"Is this a hug?" I asked in wonder if this newfound closure that for some reason felt much different than the hugs I have to Washu.
Her soft lips chuckled against my cold skin, it made me feel funny, almost as if my stomach was alive, tickled from the inside, and poked at.
"At this point, it's more of a cuddle, but yes, we are hugging." After a second she added slightly taken aback, "Have you never hugged before...?"
Considering the question, it would have been a lie to say no. "I suppose I have, I hugged Washu before, I just never thought it to be anything else than a greeting."
"Is that your friend?" she asked warmly smiling at my confession.
"Yeah. She means a lot to me."
"I can see that, I'm glad you have someone. It's important."
She was honest and meant each word, yet sadness has managed to slip through, not something I could ignore.
"Do you have someone like that?" I asked, biting onto my bottom lip.
Her hum followed by silence was enough of an answer, how could this precious human not have a friend? I didn't get into it, knowing it wasn't my place, instead, I did what I promised her I would do. Fully embraced her, in hopes of providing any type of reassurance.
"Would you accompany me today?" she asked shily after moving away with slightly teary eyes.
"Of course, whatever you need Nahla."
Her cute smile came back, I liked how she wasn't shy about it, always blessing me with its sight. After that, she took a few minutes to get ready before we called the taxi. She was spacing out a lot during the drive, looking out of the window while her index finger anxiously picked on the side of her coat. I remained in my place not wanting to interrupt the demons she was clearly fighting within her head, some things had to be done on our own.
When we arrived I wasn't sure what to expect, entering a large building and walking through a long white corridor. Nahla spoke to a man at the desk, they clearly knew each other as they appeared comfortable enough to laugh during their short conversation.
When we stood in front of the door, she needed some time before going in; a deep breath and a quick pep talk. Once finished she gave me a weak smile before finally taking a step into the room.
It was quiet inside, the sun was at its peak, sneaking through the gaps between the curtains. The only sound was coming from a machine that I have never seen before, its long tube was connected to a person laying on the bed. Nahla took a seat on its side and carefully caressed the other woman's hair.
"How was your week?" she asked against the tears, I could tell her voice was shaky, even without seeing her face.
I didn't say anything, instead approached a bit closer in order to see more clearly. The other woman was a spitting image of Nahla, except her chestnut hair was long and cheeks pale, opposite to my human's lively red. The tube was attached to a mask that covered her mouth, she was breathing steadily, yet something felt off. To me, it was a body with no soul, kept its functions alive, but whoever it was, wasn't there anymore.
I patiently waited for Nahla to take her time, she chatted with the woman about various things, laughing or complaining about whatever has happened in the past week.
When the word sister has been spoken I gulped with difficulty. How could I tell her that she wasn't there anymore? I had no right to break whatever was left of her hope.
"Sorry for dragging you along," she apologized once we left the room. "Whenever I do this on my own, I cannot help but cry, and I'm certain she would've hated that."
My fingertips gently grazed over the tears that run down her cheek. We looked into each other's eyes and that was enough to make the corners of her lips curve upwards.
Humans were so fragile, the entire building was filled with pain, heavy air, and hope that wasn't always going to prevail.
Their technology lacked the means to help and my heart ached for this woman who did her best to pretend that she indeed was fine, while I knew; her soul bled.
"I really needed a friend," she broke sobbing, her forehead finding its place against my chest as my arms embraced her, already used to her shape and the way she fit in them.
"I'm here," was all I said.
It might have been the first genuine lie I had to tell. I was here now, but how much longer did I have?
â