"Anything planned for today?" Washu wondered while putting on the leggings and an oversized jumper. Noticing her athletic body it was apparent she kept herself in shape even though she couldn't exactly use it during her training. "What?" she lifted a brow when asking.
Giving her a cheeky grin, she groaned and pulled the jumper down. "Creep," she muttered and I laughed.
"Glad you are keeping yourself ready, but I told you there's no need to work this hard," I pointed out without a second thought, but when her greyish eyes have snapped into mine with so much intensity I felt taken aback. Have I said something wrong?
"Elina," she began calmly yet a heavy sigh indicated just the opposite. "Never mind..."
I was confused. "What?"
A minute of silence before the answer, or rather the lack of it. "You won't understand, let's not."
Growing annoyed; how could she say such a thing. "When have I not understood?" I accused with hurt, my face grimacing at the comment.
A tiny scoff pierced right through me. "You never did," she explained with a weak smile. "Elina, my friend... I trust you with my life and I will follow you anywhere, butâ" she paused for a second before speaking again. "You aren't the best when it comes to understanding feelings to put it out lightly, so I never expected for you to understand."
My heart shattered; how did we go from a nice morning to such heartbreaking confession?
"I'm not..." words a mere whisper coming out of my mouth. "I still feel you know?" There was a crack as something that I hardly ever acknowledged was being said.
Her touch was more unpleasant than usual, and so I pulled away from her hand. Right now she wasn't my salvation, but an enemy.
"I know Elina, that's why I fucking love you and don't expect you to understand what I'm going through. But have you ever asked how I am?"
Before I could argue she interrupted. "Like how I feel about everything? How it affects me?! What I am going through up there alone!" her voice raised as tears broke out, another thing I was incapable of.
I was speechless, and she was right. I didn't know much about her thoughts, my only concern was to keep her alive, yet sometimes a beating heart didn't define living.
"So please, don't tell me that I don't have to train when all I'm trying to do is to fucking survive. I won't be some helpless sheep when the real danger comes. Instead, I will be by your side facing it head-on."
Have you ever been so stuck in your own bubble that when it finally popped you didn't know how you could have been so oblivious? Stupid even.
"Okay." That was all I said before getting ready to leave.
"Okay?" she repeated, clearly not satisfied with this conversation ending on such a note.
"What else do you want me to say?" My teeth gritted as I packed the bag. "You are correct, I don't"âpausing I looked into her saddened eyesâ"I don't know feelings, might as well be an empty can, but that doesn't mean I don't care... that I don't hurt. Nevertheless, I'm sorry for not being a person you could console in."
"Elina, that's not what I meant. Of course you feel, Iâ shit. I'm sorry, not sure what's gotten into me, I didn't mean to lash out..."
Giving her shoulder a reassuring tap I whispered, "I know." Even though we both knew she did. "I'm going to see Haze after class so don't wait for me."
"Elina..."
Loosening my muscles I smiled wearily. "Honestly? You are correct. I've always treated you like a glass that's about to break. You are strong, heck maybe even stronger than me. I was ignorant and avoided this topic because I was scared to face the truth. I cannot keep you locked up till you die, that's messed up. You have the right to fight for yourself, and I will be there with you. Okay?" Standing in the doorframe I added, "I will find a way so you won't have to go back up there. I promise."
Washu has been struggling for a long time, and I remained ignorant of that fact. Secretly believing that if it wasn't brought up then it didn't exist. My own ineptness when it came to emotions has caused a great deal of damage to her heart. If I wished to call myself her friend, I had to start acting like one instead of always looking at things from a view of a soldier.
Could I though? Was there anything else left inside me other than a soldier?
Nevertheless focusing on the positives, going through the classes has surprisingly turned out to be easier than the days before. Slowly getting control over the sounds and sensations of the earth, however, there was still one that refused to fade.
"Correct, good job Henry," Nahla apprised the student who provided an answer to one of her questions.
Her melodic voice echoed in my ears for hours, she was so softly spoken it truly had a way to mess with my heart.
During the class, she never looked at me once, but she didn't have to, because whether aware of it or not, there was a force pulling us towards each other. Such a feeling wasn't something I've experienced before, but it was not to be fought.
Like a wind, a force of nature, the way her beating heart caused mine to pang evoking helpless fascination and fear.
The only question was, why? There was nothing to connect us, she couldn't be in any way related to my life, the only thing were those nights where we stared at the stars, yet for different reasons at that.
"Great, let's continue tomorrow. Please ensure to finish the online exercises I've set up for you on the website," she announced and turned back towards her desk.
"Have a good day professor," some students said before leaving the class. "Bye-bye."
Once no one other than us remained, deciding to approach her in order to observe the woman in the light of a day she allowed me to do so without questioning at first, but once done with her task on the laptop she raised her sandy brown irises and connected them with my soul; or the lack of it.
"You are staring." She commented indifferently before the corner of her lip curved ever so slightly and she added, "Again."
Tilting my head the long blond hair following along, what was about this human that made me feel so... Just feel anything at all.
Was it her silky dark brown hair that danced just above her shoulders, or maybe lips; with the upper one being thin compared to the plump bottom. The dark brown brows were groomed nicely yet not too neatly complementing her natural look. My eyes snapped onto the mole that resided just at the corner of her right eye, and then the birthmark; not too large, but noticeable under her left ear.
"Elina..." her voice was breathless when my name left her lips, only to notice her demeanor has changed, the way she sank into her chair with those reddish cheeks painted against her limestone-colored skin.
"Is there anything you need?" she asked avoiding my deep and dark blue eyes that at the moment were swallowing her features and engraving them inside of my brain.
Yes, tell me who you are.
"No." A short answer, but clearly a lie as I didn't seem to be able to look away from the human in front. "Did I make you uncomfortable?" The sudden realization has hit me, maybe it wasn't appropriate to stare at someone, even if that's all you wanted to do.
She let out a nervous chuckle before finally looking at me with her brows knitted together as she thought of an answer. "Honestly, no... Normally it would, but it's a bit odd with you," she muttered more to herself than me. "Well, I guess we are friends, aren't we?" she thought of what sounded like an excuse.
"I see," was all I said.
She now took her turn in order to observe my features.
"I do find you slightly intimidating."
Her comment took me aback. Why would she? Did she see into my eyes, into the monster I was?
"I mean look at you," she pointed at me with awe. "Who wouldn't be?"
Frowning unsure of what she meant I asked confused, "What?"
Her eyes observed me with disbelief. "Now you are simply searching for compliments, I'm not playing that game with you," she accused and shook her head.
"No. I don't understand what you mean," I explained flatly.
Once realizing that I indeed wasn't trying to tease her, she allowed her lips to part before uttering. "You are stunningâ I mean! You look like a God damn model," she rambled stumbling upon her words. "Tall, silky gold hair, and your eyes like water at the depth of the ocean, slightly lost searching for light... and well everything. You are a beautiful young woman, that's what I tried to say..." Her entire face was now red, but it didn't matter.
What mattered was what she said, clearly, because my stomach twisted so strongly that my hand laid against it in a poor attempt to ease this feeling she gave me.
"Um," this was new. "Never had anyone tell me something like this."
Her pupils dilated, "Impossible... You are like a walking Goddessâ!" she pointed out before catching her tongue. "I mean..." Her expression was lost as she searched for an explanation for something that appeared impossible for her to comprehend. "Well, I heard a few boys talking about how beautiful you are, so it's not just me..." she again became embarrassed.
"I see, well that doesn't matter. I'm not interested." I shrugged not needing others to comment on my beauty when well aware of what laid underneath it.
"Boys?" she asked carefully, aware this might have been going too far.
Giving her a shrug, love was never something I considered, and even if boys never seemed to be my type. "They don't interest me," I said, looking into her eyes.
"Does anyone?"
We were both so enchanted by each other's presence that the questions we wished not to ask were said against our better judgment. Like a spell, a nasty one at that, we both needed more for an unknown reason.
"I'm sorry!" her voice more squeaky than usual. "Oh my God, I don't know what came into me, I'm so sorry... We shouldn't be talking about this," she explained flustered.
"I don't mind," I said in hopes of calming her down, truly not having anything against the conversation with the woman. "I never considered being with anyone, if that answers the question."
"It does, it does... I'm sorry," she muttered sheepishly.
"You apologize a lot. Is that normal?" I wondered without an ounce of amusement showing on my face. This human was adorable. Have I ever considered anyone as such?
She shook her head refusing to look up and muttered, "No... I just tend to do that, sorry."
A subtle laugh escaped my lips, causing her eyes to snap into mine with hurt.
"It's not funny!" she whined like a child.
Shrugging nonchalantly, I allowed the smirk to play on my lips for a bit longer. "Whatever you say professor," I teased with confidence as it became one of my favorite things to do during my spare time. Which reminded me, I had to meet Haze.
"Nahla!" a voice of a young human screamed her name.
Recognizing the girl from the day at the park, there was no mistake. She was the one who stood on the man's foot and ran away.
"Andy?" Nahla yelped not expecting the visit. "What are you doing here sweetheart?" Her voice was calm yet there was concern in her brown eyes that caused my heart to ache. "Please tell me you didn't..."
Kid with dark brown hair and blue eyes huffed and complained. "He's an asshole auntie!" she argued.
"Andy!" she scolded, but her lightly furrowed brows didn't hold any hostility towards the kid. "He's still your father..."
"He's a pathetic drunk!" she screamed and I twitched. Glancing at the woman she was clearly saddened by the child's words.
"I should go," I said and reached for the bag.
Kid observed me curiously. "Who's that?" she asked her auntie.
Nahla sighed heavily. "That's one of my students," she answered and paused. "Also, a friend."
The kid gasped and ran up to me motioning for me to bend lower. Confused I did as told not wanting to upset her.
"You are pretty," she whispered, becoming a second person to say it to my face.
Tilting my head in wonder I asked, "You think?"
Her childish innocence was admirable, I was never allowed to have it.
"Yes, you look like those Instagram models! Doesn't she auntie?" Andy turned towards the woman who with a deep blush refused to get dragged into this conversation.
I smirked at her reaction.
"Thank you," I said simply. "I'm Elina." Shaking her much smaller hand she had quite a grip.
"Andy. Eleven years old badass, right?" she turned towards Nahla who shook her head and hid her face in her hands.
A real smile rose upon my lips at her declaration. "No doubt," I commented recalling how she acted with the guy at the park, even though she didn't know I saw it. "Well, it was nice to meet you, but I should go now." I glanced at the woman who gave me a thankful expression. "It seems you and your auntie have something to talk about."
"Okay..." the child pouted.
Giving Nahla a quick nod I headed out the door with an odd urge to learn more about the woman and her life.
â