Chapter 0220 I always wondered what authors talked about when they said âearth shattering k*ssâ. This was it.
My senses really have left the building because I grab the back of his head and deepen the k*ss. Itâs like I couldnât get enough of him and I just wanted more. Even Ethanâs k*sses didnât feel this way.
I get lost in his k*ss as he devours my mouth. This was exactly what I always dreamed of. I always wanted Rowan to k*ss me like he wanted me. This what Iâd wanted from him every time he came home from work or left in the morning. This was what I wanted every time we made love. We never got that though. Not because I didnât try, but because he never wanted me.
âYou tried being a descent F*** but you werenât even good at it. Every time I was inside you, itâs Emma | wanted, itâs Emma I imagined beneath me. Every time I cummed, itâs her face I saw. You were nothing special, just easy and so I used you. I used you like the F***ing slut you are The words he flung at me a couple of months ago hit my head like a wrecking ball. I wrench myself from his hands, as the words play over and over in my head. Tormenting me now, like they did when I first heard them from his mouth.
I was breathing hard as I stared at him.
âAva?â he calls in confusion âEvery time I was inside you, itâs Emma I wanted, itâs Emma I imagined beneath meâ I quote his words. You were nothing special, just easy and so I used you like the F***ing slut you areâ
âAvaâ he tries again, his voice barely above a whisper.
My tears start filling and obstructing my view of him.
Thatâs what you said to me. You said I was nothing but an easy F*** and a place holder for your precious Emma Why the hell did it still hurt? Is it because he k*ssed me like he wanted me when in reality we know that he never cared for me?
âListen to me, Ava. Pleaseâ he begs, but I donât see him. The only thing I see is his face twisted into a mean glare as he shattered my heart with those words.
Please leave, Rowan No he stands his ground. âNot until you listen to meâ
I just wanted him to leave me alone. I just wanted to go to sleep and forget that we k*ssed.
âFine thenâ I turn around and take my car keys.
âWhat are you doing?â he asks.
âIf you wonât leave, then I will.â
I was just about to step into the hallway when his voice stops me.
âIâll leave. Itâs late and you shouldnât be out by yourselfâ
I donât say anything. Just wait for him to leave.
He starts to and I begin breathing relief. That stops when he steps next to me. Before I can do anything.
he tips my chin up and places a gently k*ss on my l*ps then on my forehead.
I glare at him.
I Instead, he gives me a small smile before he quietly leaves. The moment I hear his car leave, I lock my door and rush upstairs to my room.
After changing I get into my bed and will my tired mind to sleep. I still couldnât believe that I k*ssed Rowan. It felt so damn good and thatâs what scares me.
Itâs easy to give in to this new version of him, but I canât because no matter what I canât risk getting hurt by him again and we all know if there is something Rowan is good at, itâs hurting me.