Chapter 191

191 Chapter downstairs in time to see him stumbling through my front door.

an? What the hell man?” I ask as I help him up, supporting his weight, He was drunk, it wasn’t a hard guess. He usually stays clear from drinking too much because of what happened. Today things seem different. It F***ing worried me because the last time he drunk this much was during his dark times.

I help him take a seat then take mine beside him.

“What happened Ro?” I ask worriedly.

“You were right. Fucking right as always” he stammers. “I messed up big time. How the hell am I going to fix what I destroyed with my bare hands?”

I feel the pain in his voice and it kills me. I love my brother more than anything. When he suffers, I suffer right along with him. I would do anything to take away his pain. His heartaches. But I know I can’t. Not really anyway.

“Explain to me why you think you’ve messed up and where exactly have you messed up?”

He looked distraught. Like his world just collapsed down on him.

“I love her Gabe. I F***ing love” he yells.

“Who?”

“Ava!” he shouts. “I F***ing love her. It hit me today”

And it hit him hard. This is what I was afraid of. When he finally realizes the F***ing truth. My prediction came to pass. The realization is his undoing.

“Why didn’t I realize it sooner? Why did it take me this long? She’ll never believe me if I were to tell her that I loved her. I all but killed her love for me. Spent most of the nine years making her pay for that night. I hurt her so F***ing much. She’ll never believe me”

A tear drops down his face. Paih marking his grey eyes that are similar to mine. I feel my heart lurch as waves of pain radiate from him.

“What am I going to do? How am I going to fix all that I broke? How the F*** am I supposed to mend her broken heart when I broke it?”

I grip his shoulder and bring him to me. Rowan isn’t one to show weakness. Even when Emma left him, he how he would fix what was shattered. He just drank.

+15 BONUS His shoulders shake as he tries to fight his emotions. My heart goes to him. He is my twin and I F***ing hate seeing him like this. I have no idea how to help him.

Nine years of pain and heartache wasn’t going to be easy to fix. Ava had grown into herself. Risen up from the ashes like a damn phoenix. She wasn’t going to easily allow those that hurt her come near her.

“I don’t know Ro, but you’re Rowan F***ing Woods and you always get what you want. You’re going to fix this and you’re going to get Ava back. You never quit, so don’t start now”

He straightens and looks forward. His eyes staring at nothing. Completely lost in his mind. 1 “What if she doesn’t take me back?” he whispers more to himself.

This isn’t my brother. Rowan is assured and confident. The fact he is doubting himself just proves the power Ava has over him. I F***ing believe she has more power than Emma ever had.

The love he had for Emma was youneed easy. Puppy love. That’s why it never lasted. That’s why it crumbled at the first sign of trouble. I believe, though not entirely sure that what he may feel for Ava may be stronger. Way F***ing stronger.

“You’ll just have to give it your best” I whisper back. 1 We stay seated, lost in our own heads, until he falls asleep. I stand up and help him to one of the bedrooms. The one he uses while he is here.

I deposit him on the bed and watch him for a while as he struggles even in his sleep. I want to be confident that he will win Ava back, but I am not. Nine F***ing years. That’s how long he has hurt her.

I would be surprised if Ava gave him a chance after that. I can only hope. Hope that the love she had for him isn’t entirely gone, because I’m not sure he’ll survive losing her.