She's not an impulsive person, ever. Everything is in order and everything has an order. She's not one to drink or smoke or do anything like that. And the one time she does get a little crazy, she up and gets married. Admittedly her control issues are something her therapist works with her on. It's part of her anorexia recovery. But this, this has sent her control and perfectionism into hyper speed. She can't breathe. What is she going to do?
As Ava got ready for school, so many thoughts threatened to drown her mind. So much so, it feels like she's swimming underwater and unable to catch her breath, just treading. She'd like five more minutes. Five more minutes of the good stuff, the good times. Five more minutes to rewind and do Vegas differently.
She'd wake up and tell Johnny "Hey you'll never believe it. But we're married. Yep. You and me." But she didn't do that. She didn't do anything like that. Instead, she chickened out. Even at Christmas when he'd given her the necklace, she couldn't tell him. She was going to confess it all to him, but at the last minute she said "I love you more than words." Which is true. She does. But what a pussy she is, as her husband so kindly says about people. And now here she is, drowning like a total loser. Just five more minutes.
She held her necklace and wished for it. But wishes like that one don't come true. It only happens in the movies. Another thing she'd want to come true is her cousin flying off on her broomstick and disappearing. Misty, true to form, has been trying to be better than her.
First, when she spent the day with her and Rachel, her bored attitude got on both their nerves. They took her to Golf 'N Stuff. Having had enough of her sighs and eye rolls and picking at her nails, she and Rach left her to her own devices. It wasn't them being mean, well maybe partly. It's just Misty didn't want to do anything with them.
They had suggested shopping and she sighed. They suggested going to see a movie, and she rolled her eyes. So, they decided on the extremely fun place and atmosphere of Golf 'N Stuff. Everyone loves it. You can't go wrong with it, except maybe her contrary cousin. Now there she stands picking at her nails. The two of them left her at concessions and played mini-golf. When they came back, to reclaim her, of course, Misty would be talking with Susan, Barbara, and the other cheerleaders.
With her head held high, Misty told them, "I've been invited to hang out with them. It sounds like fun. See ya." She flipped her glossy brown hair over her shoulder and walked off, with her new found group of idiots.
Not that she and Rachel cared, but it's kind of rude of her. The two of them went out of their way to include her, trying to be kind, and she leaves them for the cheerleaders. Typical. Another typical thing is Misty one-upping her.
After Christmas, her father invited her to play golf. He and Uncle Tim were going to the club to play some rounds together. She accepted, knowing it's the perfect opportunity to practice her swing for the tournament. When the father-daughter duo arrived, at the club, a surprise was waiting. Misty! She was there with her father. What the heck? As far as Ava knew her cousin swims and plays tennis. When Ava inquired about it, she said "A girl can do more than one thing." With a quiet voice, she made the comment "Some girls are better than others." Then speaking normally she stated "Daddy taught me. I'm pretty good now."
Her words left Ava wondering if that was a threat? Some girls are better than others... Yes, they are. Like her and golf.
Uncle Tim declared with a smile, "There's room for another golfer in the family."
No there's not! Golf is her sport. She takes it seriously. Plus Misty does all those other activities. Ava wanted to have her own spotlight and golf is it. It's the one area she truly shines. When they hit the course, Ava learned her cousin is a mediocre golfer at best. She's nowhere near her own game (at all). Therefore she is better than her mean-spirited cousin.
Misty hit many sandtrap balls. It was rather embarrassing, but hilarious to watch her trying to get them out. Disturbingly, her father and uncle acted like she was the best golfer since the great Arnold Palmer himself. Barf. Her conceited cousin even went so far as to say "I may try out for the golf team." Behind her back, Ava rolled her eyes. Oh please do. She'd be instantly cut.
The final annoying thing is when school started back. Misty, being the new girl on the block, got fawned over by every guy in the place. Every guy, minus Johnny, was looking at her with stars in their eyes. By lunch on the first day, it became apparent Misty didn't need any introduction. Her new friends consisted of the cheer squad, Joy, Charley, and Kara. It all made Ava want to puke. It made Rachel want to puke too.
The two of them bemoaned all of it. But what really bothered them both, for different but similar reasons, is that Bobby seemed to be caught up in Misty's glow. "I can't believe he's easily fooled by a pair of big, big..." Rachel didn't quite know what to say.
"Bosoms," Ava finished for her. "Yeah, I don't get it either." She really wants him to ask her friend out already. They keep making goo-goo eyes at each other. But now that her ridiculous cousin has entered orbit, his attention is elsewhere.
They stared at the girl with annoyed expressions. "Are guys really that easily led astray by big boobs?" She wants to know. If that's the case then she doesn't have a chance. While hers aren't at the status of her cousin's, they aren't small either. Looking at her own chest, she would say they're normal. But if Misty is the top of the line, then her own is sorely lacking.
In response to her question, Rachel said "I don't know, but it seems like it. She's just... puke. Puke Green. Sorry, I know that's your last name too." She looked at her friend apologetically.
Ava immediately burst out in laughter. "No. It's OK. I agree with you. She is Puke Green." Both she and Rachel decided that Misty is now to be known as Puke Green.
She tries to not compare herself but some days it's hard. With her cousin in the picture, her own value and contribution feel significantly less. Plus having it paired with the whole marriage business, her perfectionism is kicking up to heights unheard of. And when she gets that way it's hard to break her out of it. Very hard. Just five more minutes to catch her breath and breathe.
While Ava was busy wishing for five more minutes, Johnny was wishing for it too. Five more minutes of sleep. The snooze button is a handy thing. He spent his five minutes thinking about Ava. Something is going on with her. She's not herself, hasn't been since Vegas. It makes him wonder, did something happen that she isn't telling him about?
Plus he's been having these weird daydreams, fantasies, imagination gone wild? He's unsure, but there are several things he'd like to clear up. First, there's an odd sense of wanting to hear I Can't Help Falling In Love With You. He has no idea why, but he wants to. Then there's the whole New Year's Eve party.
The country club theme was the 1920's. Everyone had to come in costume. He and the guys went dressed as mobsters. Ava and Rachel wore flapper dresses. She wore this black lace and fringe number, with these lace gloves and a black sequin headband. It had a feather. Her hair was pinned and curled. She looked smokin' hot. He couldn't take his eyes off her. The whole time he also couldn't help but think the mobster thing was something he had wanted before. It was like a weird kind of deja vu.
And every time he sees her it gets harder and harder to leave. His heart feels... homesick. It also gets harder and harder to keep his desires in check. There's this one daydream he keeps having over and over again. It seems to be stuck on repeat. It's she and him on a bed, wrapped up in each other, and he's brushing the hair off her face. And it's the hottest thing ever because she looks at him with so much love and brushes her hand softly to his face. They lace hands and his mouth is on hers. It's obvious they have sex, but it's not sex. It's love, pure love. Why? Why does he keep coming back to this one fantasy? Except he swears it feels like more than a wishful dream. It all does.
He's never had desires so strong like this before. Sure he wants his girlfriend in the worst way, but this is different. It's like a piece of him is missing. There's no explanation for it, except love. And he just wants her with him, all the time. It's crazy. His alarm went off. Not able to hit the snooze again, he got up and showered. When he finished, he pulled on a pair of khakis and a blue sweater. He spritzed his cologne, grabbed his binder, and car keys. With a final comb of the hair, then rushed downstairs.
In the kitchen, he found his mother and she kissed his cheek. "Hi, Baby. Ready for today?" He groaned in response. No, he's not. Is anyone ever ready for school?
Sitting down at the table, she gave him a plate of egg and sausage casserole. She sat with her coffee cup. They sat together, him eating and her sipping. Quiet and comfortable, similar to him and Ava. Before he left home, he took his Walkman and put the headphones around his neck. Then kissed her cheek. It's all a very normal routine, except it's missing something... her.
Maybe he's sick... lovesick, heartsick, homesick for her. Everywhere he turns, it's her, her, her. Even in his car, she's there. He had to change the radio station back to rock because Ava had it set to some pop channel. She loves pop music and even though he doesn't care for it, he'll listen to it for her. He's meeting her at school. Which is great because he really needs to ask the guys something important.
After he got back from Vegas, they all got together and hung out. They talked about the tournament. It hit all of them just as hard as it hit him. They all felt like crap, but they weren't going to let it get them down. They never do, but this loss is more. It's their sensei abusing them and that's total bullshit. Instead, they'd focus on soccer. That's coming up in the spring.
But the hardest part of it all was hearing that Jimmy and Tommy got dumped. When he asked why they both said "They told us they had fun but they want more than fun." They raised a beer toast. "Here's to being fun," Johnny told them it's bullshit too. What kind of girl would kick a guy while he's already down?
About twenty-five minutes later, he pulled into his spot at school. Getting out, he checked his hair and went to find the guys. They were huddled at the picnic table. He high-fived them and side hugged Bobby, then sat on top of the table. Dutch was sitting beside him.
"How's it going?" he asked them. Since they lost, people have been doing nothing but whispering, staring, and treating them with disdain. In other words the same as before, but more like a huge welcome to loserville. It's obvious they were leeching off their Cobra status.
Dutch answered his friend's question. "Everywhere I turn people are talking behind my back. But it's OK. I just sit here like, dude, I have a fan club. I love being me. It pisses off all the right people." Tommy laughed and high-fived him.
"Too true. So I was thinkingâ-" Johnny got interrupted by Jimmy.
He couldn't help it. His friend set himself up for it. "There's a lethal combination. Johnny thinking."
Giving him a look, he said "Hahaha, very funny. But seriously. I was thinking about something and I need your opinion." He then told them about the weird, hot, daydreams he's been having. Their faces said it all. Stunned beyond belief. "So what do you think? Am I crazy? Is it real or just fantasy?"
Then Tommy sang "Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."
"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see," Jimmy sang too.
Rolling his eyes, Johnny spoke "Assholes. Seriously, though."
Bobby, who was quietly thinking this over, commented. "First off, how drunk were you?"
Leave it to Bobby to ask the obvious. "Drunk. I had whiskey, straight. A lot of it," Johnny told him.
With a thoughtful expression, his honest and wise friend reminded him "The last time you drank the strong stuff, you blacked out. You had no recollection, for weeks, of streaking naked down the street, but you did. Then poof... One day your memory returned and you freaked out because old Mrs. Nedermyer saw you run naked. To this day she still gives you winks. I think it's possible that it really happened and it isn't just a fantasy. A really, really steamy one. But the question is, if it's real, then how do you get her to admit it?" Bobby finished talking and began thinking that over too.
And this is why he's the most thoughtful snake. Bobby always thinks of everything and nags you about it too. But Johnny wouldn't have him any other way. "You're right. I have no idea how to get her to admit it. If it did happen, then she's probably eaten up with guilt and shame. And I can't have her shut down on me." At that moment, he saw her car pull in beside him.
Sucks, sucks, sucks. Her morning sucks, starting with her idiot brother who spilled syrup on her sweater. She had to change her outfit thanks to that. Now she's back at school, another day. Yay.
She got out, grabbed her school bag and purse, and looked around for Rachel and Dawn. She didn't see them but she saw Johnny and the guys. Closing her door, she walked over to them. Along the way, people whispered and pointed. Are they back to that again?
Adjusting her bag on her shoulder, she held onto the strap. Johnny got down and took her bag. Then he gave her a kiss, short and sweet. He led her to the table, where he scooted Dutch over and the three of them sat on top.
She took her bag back and dug through it. Pulling out two containers of fudge, she handed them to Tommy and Jimmy. "I know this isn't what you really want. And it's a cheap consolation prize, but I want you to have it all the same." She saw their faces and felt sad for them. Johnny had told her about the breakups the other day. "I'm sorry they broke up with you the way they did. It was wrong and ugly. They suck, but it just means there's someone better out there for you. So don't give up hope."
Dutch was put out. "Hey what about us? Don't Bobby, Johnny, and I get anything? I mean, I'm single too. He's a loser--" He pointed at Bobby, who gave him a sharp look --- "And this one is your guy."
Digging through her bag again, she pulled out three more ziptop sacks of food. One has two pieces of red velvet cake. She handed it to Dutch. Another has lunch. She gave that one to Johnny. And the last one has coconut cake, Christmas cookies, and homemade divinity. She passed it to Bobby.
Again Dutch looked put out. "Why does he get the one with the most?"
Right on cue, Bobby told him "Haven't you been paying attention? We've told you all before. We're secretly in love and dating behind Johnny's back."
Before anyone could say something, Misty appeared. Her shiny bubble of newness glowing around her. And all the Cobras, minus Johnny, were attracted to it like a moth to a flame. Disgusting. Dutch told Ava, "If she's your cousin, then hook me up."
With crossed arms, Ava point blank said "No. You can do better than her." Looking around at all the guys she pointed her finger and stated, "You all can." Turning to Johnny, she declared "Except you. You already have someone better."
Staring back at her he agreed. "I do. But she's been acting strange lately."
Her heart sped up. What does he mean? "She has?"
With a nod of the head and a brush of the hair, off his forehead, he spoke. "I need to go to my locker. Walk with me." He got down and picked up her school bag.
She got down and put her hobo on her shoulder. They said bye to the guys and walked hand in hand to their lockers. When there he handed Ava his binder and took out the books he needed. Once finished, he took his binder back and spoke. "Babe, can we meet later and talk? There are a few things I'd like to discuss with you."
Trying to maintain a state of cool under pressure is tough. Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest. "Yeah, sure. I'm going golfing with Dawn and Rachel after school, but we can talk after that."
He moved closer to her. "Good. I'll pick you up at six. Is that alright?" He heard her quiet "Uh-huh." Then his arms moved around her waist, maneuvering his books around too. Feeling the need to remind her of her place, his voice floated up to her ears. "I love you and I think you're the tastiest babe in the whole school." When her arms came around him, he added "And you're mine, not Bobby's." They both chuckled.
Throughout the day, Ava continued to get strange looks, points, and whispers. It made her think another rumor has started up. Stupid, irritating nit-wits. After school, she met Dawn and Rachel, at her car. They greeted each other with hugs.
"Hey girls. Ready to hit the greens and tee it up?" Dawn asked tucking her short blonde hair behind her ears. Since Ava introduced her to Rachel, a new group of friends formed. Rachel, Dawn, and her. They're like the three amigos but better. Sometimes you have to shake off the dead weight for something new to come along. It's clear Charley, Joy, and Kara were dead weight. And at this point in her life, Ava has no time for fake friends or people. That includes wretched Puke Green cousins.
Rachel laughed. "The two of you can hit the greens. I will drive you around." That's the fun part.
The Cobras walked their way, as did Misty and her merry band of cheerleaders. Rachel noticed Bobby's eyes follow Ava's cousin. Her eyes turned down and a frown drifted across her face. Ava noticed. She linked arms with her friend. "Don't worry. You're still nicer and prettier."
Dawn, who was shooting daggers at the group of girls, mentioned "You said she thinks she can play golf. One day we should test that theory and make a challenge. How is it the two of you are related?" She has history class with Ava's cousin and the girl is fake. So fake her face may fall off. She's also an attention seeker. The more of it the better. This is why it bothers her to see all these people follow the girl around. Plus the fact she's Ava's cousin blows her mind. Ava is drastically different from her in every way. Whereas Ava is truly sweet and kind, Misty is all fraudulent candy-coated sugar.
Looking at her cousin, Ava mentioned "I have no idea." A cold chill ran over her. She's up to something, she just knows. Misty always gets this particular gleam in her eyes when she's being deceitful. As she was paying attention to her cousin, Johnny came up beside her. He nudged her with his arm. She turned and looked up, a big smile on her face at seeing him.
He kissed the side of her head. "Don't forget six o'clock." With a wink, he got into his car and waved bye. Ava waved bye to him too.
She turned back to her friends and noticed Bobby. He gave shy glances to Rachel, who didn't notice. But when Rachel pulled her hair up, she saw him and smiled. So did he. If silence and smiles were a conversation, then there was plenty said.
The girls loaded up in their cars and left school. At the golf course, Dawn reprimanded, and helped, Ava with her swing. "OK, first off your shoulders are too tense. You've got to loosen up. If you keep swinging like that then the ball is going to keep pulling. Plus you could tear your rotator cuff. And if that happens then you can kiss the tournament goodbye and possibly the golf season too."
Of course, she's tense. There's a lot on her mind. A lot! But Dawn is right. She needs to breathe, focus, and hang loose. Stretching her neck and arms, she focused her attention on the ball. Tuning out all of the things on her mind, trying to, her consciousness became attuned to her stance and swing. The minute the driver connected with the ball she knew it was solid.
Turning around with a gigantic, bright smile she curtsied. Both of her friends clapped and high-fived her efforts. Throughout the afternoon, both she and Dawn traded helpful tips with each other. It was nice having someone's opinion who actually understands the game. Rachel drove the cart and gave them heart attacks with her driving. Her driving is like Carl Spackler in Caddyshack trying to get the gopher. Crazy, crazy, crazy.
On their way out, Ava asked again "Dawn are you sure you don't want to compete in this tournament? It would be fun!"
Dawn shook her head. "I don't know. I mean it would be fun, but I think I'd rather concentrate on the upcoming season."
The three friends had to pass the heated pool, to get to the exit. As they passed, they heard voices from girls who go to school with them. "I heard Ava is a total Ana."
Another girl said, "I did too. It's rather sad. Not eating food and being anorexic. That's kind of pathetic and sick in the head, you know."
"I know right? It's totally disturbing." These three girls started laughing.
Ava stood there with tears in her eyes. Rachel pulled her around behind a wall of lockers and hugged her, but not Dawn. She walked right up to the three girls, eyes blazing, and asked "Where did you three hear that?"
"Oh, hi Dawn. We heard it from Susan and Barbara. They were told by Joy and Misty," a girl with blonde hair admitted. "It's pretty pitiful huh?"
Dawn was not having this. "No. What's pitiful is the three of you talking about someone's personal problems behind their back. It's none of your business."
Before she left, she threw their towels into the water. Walking back to her two friends, her temper is flaring. But that was nothing compared to Ava. When she heard Joy and Misty's names, her heart sunk. It's one thing to spread nasty gossip about her and Johnny, but it's another to talk about a serious illness. That really stung.
Choking out the words, with hurt in her voice, she asked "Why would they talk about my anorexia to everyone? Why?" The tears continued to fall and she just wanted to go home. But at the moment she had no idea where home was. She just wants five more minutes of her life back.