Do you sometimes wish to just shrink and disappear into thin air?? I'm staring down at his shirt, with my brain still processing the words, that came out of his mouth moments ago.
"I haven't really felt any positive emotions in the past few years, but now my heard tickles every time I see you." Is this a confession?? When did he learn to talk like that, you know quite and slowly, with a clear tone.
"I don't even know what this feeling is. It's so confusing." He says. I'm confused to dude. If you have never felt these kind of emotions you're describing, how do you know what kind of emotions they are!!
"Then may-" I cut myself off as my eyes land on his face again. My eyes open wide as I notice the red bloody stain, that has formed just under his nose.
"You're bleeding!!" I say in a tone, which is still quite enough for the two sleeping beauties to keep snoring on the other couch. I push myself away from him and sit up. I quickly get up and go into the kitchen to grab a towel or at least a tissue. When I come back I can see him already sitting up, looking at his bloody fingers.
His eyes can't look away for some reason, he keeps staring at his fingers, with the blood from his nose slowly traveling down his lips and chin. I sit next to him and wipe it away quickly grabbing his hand and holding it out of his sight. He looks up at me with his empty eyes. I know he remembered something while looking at that blood. I'm not going to let him keep this one inside as well.
"What is it??" I ask while looking directly at his eyes. He just shakes his head a few times, before taking the tissue out of my hand and holding it up on his own. I feel like I'll get angry if he doesn't tell me what went through his mind just now. I mean, if he feels bad for earlier then he can tell me instead of keeping it inside again. All I literally want from him right now is to talk.
"It's ok. It-"
"Just tell me. It's ok, you can tell me." I say as I take the tissue out of his hand and replace it with a clean one. Just when he is about to throw his head back, I stop him by putting my hand behind his head.
"If you throw your head back the blood will go back into your head. By the way you're bleeding you'll feel it in your throat in less then 30 seconds. Close your nose and title your head forward. When it stops beading we'll just clean you up... now tell me. What did you remember??" He does as I say and titles his head forward. It takes him a few long seconds before his gaze raises up looking forward into nothing particular, and his mouth finally opens.
"I thought it will be a normal day just like every other one. I came back from school. Cooked a small meal with whatever was in the fridge. My body hurt because of the previous day, and my lip was covered with a small cut. I just went to my room and waited for the day to pass. But then he came home... he was yelling, cursing, things kept breaking everywhere he passed by. I was so scared to exit my room but I didn't have to. He came into my room and just dragged me by my shirt outside. I didn't even have the guts to look up, I just stayed on the floor where he threw me. He kicked me once... twice... three times.. four.. five..."
I can see the tears forming in his eyes. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him to talk about it. I realize I'm still holding his hand down, the one that has it's fingers covered in blood. I just squeeze it hoping it help somehow.
"Then he pulled me up by my ear and slapped me with all his strength. The last thing I remember is that I hit my head on something. Before I blacked out I saw my fingers covered in blood... After that I never saw him again, I woke up inside that building and everyone always looked at me like I'm a monster, nobody talked to me like a normal person would. It kept going like that for a while before I said I want to go outside, that's when I realized I was never supposed to even peak my head out of the hospital. I tried getting what I want by force. I tried to escape. I tried asking for help.. but nobody listened. Year after year it was just getting worst, they stopped providing me with education, I wasn't even allowed to leave my room and after I called the police they never allowed me to use a phone again. What's worst is that they started feeding my body with capsules and injections every single day. I.. I was just sc- scared"
He broke. His tears started running down his cheeks and so did mine, I didn't even realize when my eyes got watery. I wipe away my tears not wanting him to see since his eyes are fixed on the floor again. Without losing any more time I just pull him closer, and wrap my hands around him.
"It's ok. You are never going back in there.. I promise." I bring his face up making him look up at me. Even though he breaks eye contact in less then a second I just wipe the tears off his cheeks. He's been crying a lot lately. I once again replace the bloody tissue with a new one.
"Don't cry. I don't really know what you went through, but I'll make sure you never have to go through the same things ever again.. now, do your eyes still hurt??" I ask looking at him. He shakes his head a little.
"Not really, just a little." At least his temperature went down, since I can't feel it. The side effects should last less then 6 hours considering the fact that 4 already passed, he should return to normal soon.
"How's your breathing??" I ask noticing his breath got heavy again.
"It's fine. It's way better then before..." I look up at him expecting more.
"But..."
"But I still can't really breathe normally" He finishes.
"Just breathe slowly it will get better with time. Also do your muscles still hurt??" He just nods.
"Let me see that." I take the tissue out of his hands and look at the blood that is coming out of his nose. Why does it bleed so intensely tho??
"Take this back and turn around." I say, and he turns to the side facing me with his back. I don't know how much it will help, but a massage to relive his stiff muscles could be useful right.
"I'm sorry about before. I almost hurt you by throwing that cup." I look at him with a slightly surprised expression. To be hones, I forgot about it and I also can't see any of the pieces from the cup. The boys probably cleaned it up.
"It's ok, don't worry. I didn't get hurt. I would appreciate if we don't do it again though." He pauses for a moment.
"But I liked the hug." Without realizing, I press on his muscle a bit to hard earning a small whine from him.
"I meant the cup not the hug." He turns around and looks at me, leaving my hands to just flow into thin air.
"So you liked the hug??" He asks with a small smile on his face. I know he smiled just last night but so many things happened since then, that I forgot how happy his smile actually makes me. I want to crack him up one day. Make him laugh like a maniac not just smile.
"We could say so." I say and turn him around again. A small smile forms on my face as his back turns to me.
"But what does that mean??" He asks. At that moment my stomach growls louder then ever before. Both of our heads look down toward my stomach and then he looks up at me again. "That you are hungry..." He says while I just awkwardly chuckle .
"I'll eat later." I say and turn his head forward but he turns it back right away.
"You said not to skip meals though. Am I the one that has to force you to eat now??" It's not that I'm complaining I'm just surprised at how smiley he is. He seems so relaxed right now. He stopped hesitating while speaking with me, and since a lot of his memories came back he seems like he has more vocabulary. I catch myself just staring at him with surprised eyes before he gives me one more smile. Now that is the cutest thing I've seen in my entire life. He does show his teeth while smiling, which is really satisfying for some reason. He waves his hand in front of my nose, making me realize I still haven't stopped staring at him.
"Yes- I men no. I will eat now." Even my tongue freezes every time he smiles. Noticing he let go of his nose I lean forward to take a closer look at the dried blood, just to make sure it's not bleeding anymore.
"Did this stop" I ask as I take the tissue out of his hand. He just turns his head away from me and nods without saying a word. I get up from the couch and give him a new one, so he can finally clean his nose.
"I'll be back I'll ju-" I was about to say I'm going to grab some food but he cuts me off.
"Let me come with you. I have been lying down for hours, I want to get up." He says making me eye his legs. Last time he could barely walk but it is true that now he looks way better. My eyes land on his again, and I can see how badly he wants to starch his legs.
"Please. I don't want to stay alone." It takes me a second, before I pick up his infusion and help him pick himself up. He just stands on the spot for a few seconds before slowly walking toward the kitchen. I can still see on his face that his body hurts as hell, but he is pretty good at fighting it.
I help him sit down behind the table and quickly return for the stand. Just as I am about to return Minho slowly opens his eyes. The moment they land on Seungmin's head, he jumps up with a small scream.
"OH MY GOD. I need to take a shower. How did this happen." He says and lets Seungmin's head hit the empty couch as he quickly gets up. He fixes his hair and rubs his eyes, making sure the situation is real.
"From now on, I'm sleeping on the armchair." He says as he looks at me. I can't help but chuckle at his response, I mean they didn't even look that bad.
"I guess, I should hang a photo of this scene in out apartment when we go back." I say enjoying the fact that I can tease him. He just glares at me, and slowly prepares his legs for a sprint.
"You didn't??" He says with the most sharp tone he can provide.
"Yes I did." That's when I start running for my life. With the stand for Squirrely in one hand and my phone in my back pocket I run into the kitchen, already feeling Minho following behind.
I quickly take Squirrely's infusion and hang it on the stand. Before Minho enters, I make my way all around the table where he can't jump on me right away. He steps into the room, with eyes sharp as a knife.
"Min Jieun, give me that phone and you can live." He says earning a small smirk from me.
"Never." And just like that the running around the table starts. Squirrely's eyes keep following us both with confusion filling them, from bottom to top. His head keeps turning from me to Minho and from Minho back to me.
After 5 whole circles around the kitchen table, Minho surprises me by jumping and then sliding over the table. Even though I move fast enough, the moment his feet set on the ground, he jumps me from behind and both of us crash on the ground right behind Squirrely.
"Delete it!!" He demands but I just try to get the phone as far as possible.
"In your dreams!!" I say back and notice the way Squirrely is looking down at out little fight. Eventually Minho uses his brain and finds my weakness. His hands travel to the side of my waist tickling me as much as possible, and all I'm doing is just cracking up loud. Just when I'm about to let go of the phone Squirrely mumbles a few words, making me look up at him once again.
"Stop that.. Get off her." He mumbles and a second later his leg raises up and kicks Minho in the shoulder, cousin him to fall on the side. A silence takes over the room as me and Minho exchange a look. He just.. kicked him. Knowing Minho doesn't tolerate someone kicking him on the ground, I get up fast and turn Squirrely around. My head turns toward Minho again where the surprise is still perfectly visible on his face, I just stick out my tongue at him and earn a kick in the butt. He gets up still stunned at the fact that someone dared to actually kick him, and gives Squirrely a glare.
"Don't think I'll go easy on you." He says and Squirrely just looks at me with the confidence slowly washing off of his face.
"Please protect me. He is so scary." Hahaha, this cute Squirrel is afraid of the grumpy old man Minho.
"Don't worry. I will be keep you alive." I say and smile at him.
"How touching. I guess you'll die together then.. what a romantic tragedy." I glare at Minho and he just smirks back at me. "Do you want some ramen for lunch??" He asks and his facial expression changes completely.
"Yes please!!" I say back with excitement filling my tone. I feel energetic at this moment, maybe because I got to forget about everything for a minute while playing with Minho.
"Then make it yourself." Ah, what a dimwit.
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Thank you for reading â¤ï¸ð¤
Today I passed my math exam that I have been struggling with for a long time, I'm happy but at the same time confused... I finally don't feel like I'm the dumb one at least... TO HELL WITH SCHOOL!!