I roughly wiped the tears with my sleeve, thinking I shouldnât have played the piano.
Then I went up to my room again.
Iâm going to find a way to live somehow. Even if the sky collapses, there must be a gap for me to rise.
To do so, it was now necessary for me to remember the original story completely since it would be a long-term battle.
***
âThat was what Iâd said. But it turned out the original story was useless to me now.
I tore my hair with a pen still in my hand.
The original story began with the appearance of the female lead, but since Ronan was still alive, the original story would never start!
In the originalâ
The female lead was caught while investigating Kid and was on the verge of being fired from her paladin position.
On a day when a typhoon blew, the leads fought on the bridge, and they both fell as the bridge collapsed.
As they saved each other, they, well, started building feelings. Kid finally declared that he would not kill the culprit, the first designer of the experiment that he wanted to kill. And in the end, the female lead, Kid, and Seniel lived well together.
The only useful information was that a bridge would break on a summer night during a typhoon.
If I had at least some information regarding the culprit, perhaps my chances of surviving Kid would increase because Kidâs ultimate goal was to find âJoelâ, the planner of this experiment.
But unfortunately, I didnât know any information about Joel because right before Kid found Joel, he repented by letting this Joel go.
So all I knew about Joel was that he was intelligent, a priest with scarlet eyes and brown hair, somewhere between his thirties and fifties. I had no information regarding his whereabouts.
âBut this is information that even Kid knows.â
If I had to add a little more information, it was that he had a strange religious belief.
If other people started the experiment because they were greedy for raw power, Joel had a different reason for planning it.
He wanted to welcome God in a human body. He longed to see the great god face to face. He believed that it was the right thing to do.
So Joel, the culprit, called Seniel âThe Oneâ at the time of the experiment and believed that God would dwell in his body. Occasionally, he would appear in the laboratory and treat Seniel respectfully as if God existed in his body.
But this information was just some trivial facts. It was useless for finding Joel, much less useful for trading information with Kid.
I couldnât act rashly because I could be suspected of pretending, or he could be suspicious of where I got that information.
âCan I live?â
Seeing this situation where death awaited me at every turn, I thought I was destined to die in the first place.
âWhat the hell should I do first?â
They said it would take a month for the ship to sail, but it could have taken longer than that. To escape that way, I had to possess enough luck to live until then somehow. That was why I thought of the original story, but there was nothing I could use.
Kid said he would spare me because I was useful. But I couldnât believe his words.
âItâs nearly impossible, but if Seniel really falls for me, that day will be my memorial day.â
Kid was someone who wanted to torment Seniel in some way, so if I became someone precious to Seniel, he would try to kill me on the same day.
There had to be a safety rope somehow.
The bigger problem was that even if I lasted for a few months, I could not divert Kidâs attention when I ran away.
âRonan isnât the real heroine, so the thought of giving him the evidence makes me uncomfortable.â
I didnât know if Ronan was as strong as Ezette. Ezette pushed hard to get Kid, but I was doubtful Ronan would do the same.
âIf Ronan were the female lead, heâd win.â
No, if that were the case, the ship wouldnât have been blocked in the first place. I tousled my hair in frustration.
âWhen I still thought that Ronan was the real heroine, I thought that after giving him the evidence and escaping, the power of the original story would unfold on its own!â
So I believed they wouldâve fallen in love with the power of the story, but now it was completely ruined.
Ronan had no money, so he volunteered to become the monsterâs sacrifice. But this happened because I gave him money without asking or arguing.
âIf I hadnât given the money, would Ronan have died? And if I asked why he needed the money, could I have picked any ship and left right away?â
If it had been, I would have been caught right away. Still, could it have been possible to sneak out?
I let out a deep sigh and stopped feeling regret and self-blame since I couldnât return time.
Ronan wasnât as enthusiastic as Ezette. He seemed vague. If I counted on him, wouldnât it just make Kid angry?
âOnce he gets angry, I think heâll overturn everything heâd said and come after me.â
Chased by Kid? Just imagining meeting his eyes upon waking up one day at an inn in a strange country caused my hair to stand up.
â⦠Will Ronan and Seniel fall in love if I give him evidence?â
Since they were siblings, maybe they had similar tastes⦠Itâd be good if they fell in love. To be exact, itâd make four of us: Seniel, Kid, Ronan, and I have a happy ending.
Should I ask about Ronanâs taste first? I pondered seriously, then banged my forehead on the desk.
âWhat nonsenseâ¦â
It would be better to meet the female lead in person. I could keep giving Ronan indirect evidence to build up his curiosity about my escape, just in case.
âIâll give him small evidence, look at his reaction, and think about the other stuff later.â
If that didnât work, Iâd just plant a bomb in the mansion and leave. I could go when Kid was busy cleaning up the ashes of the mansion.
I had my lady-in-waiting send a letter to tell Ronan that I wanted to meet him tomorrow. I wrote the words âsee you tomorrowâ in a plausible manner and gave the letter to my maid.
After sending the letter, I was at a loss as to how to survive today.
I didnât know why Kid had shown me such mercy the night before, but I was sure heâd try to kill me tonight. I shuddered at the thought.
âIt doesnât seem like the shocker would work, so Iâll just put them somewhere else and wear protective gear just in case.â
Maybe Iâll last another month if I go past today.
Kidâs condition was for me to seduce Seniel and kill him after he fell for me. If I met that condition properly, I might survive this month.
âIf Kid comes tonight, Iâll beg him that I was wrong and prove my usefulness again. Then, after a month, Iâll bounce out somehow.â
I felt uncomfortable because there was no specific way, but now I had no other way than this. I made up my mind while chewing on the tip of the pen.
âI should go out with Seniel tonight.â
I didnât do much yesterday because I was sick, so I should do well today. I had to let him know that I was this competent.
It should be okay for us to stay outside until the time the attendants leave work. Seniel should agree since I didnât plan to stay out for long.
I put down the pen on the desk.
âBefore that, letâs go see the female lead.â
I needed to meet the real heroine and decide what to do with her. I knew where she lived, so I didnât need to hesitate.
***
On the way to Ezetteâs village, there was a large river. So one must pass a large bridge to enter the village.
As the carriage crossed the bridge, I opened the window. I could see a beautifully built bridge and a large river when I put my face close to the window.
âThis place will collapse during a typhoon.â
I couldnât believe a bridge that looked so strong would be broken. There were a lot of people and carriages coming and going. Did these people know that this bridge would break and cause a lot of casualties?
I closed the window, thinking Iâd never cross this bridge during a storm because I didnât want to drown in this river of unknown depth.
***
The carriage stopped near Ezzeteâs house. I got off and looked around Ezetteâs house. Old walls with peeling paint and a roof that looks like it would collapse at any moment.
I stopped at the sight of someone running into the house. Without realizing it, I hid behind a building and observed closely.
With silver hair down to her waist, skin so clear that almost all her veins were visible, and bright sky-blue eyes that seemed to embrace the cold winter sky, the woman was shining just by standing still.
â⦠Itâs Ezzete.â
Ezette, who looked about the same age as me, hurriedly opened the door.
âMom! I brought the doctor over!â
Behind Ezette, a man with a striking mustache followed. He was someone I hadnât noticed because Ezetteâs presence obscured him.
Ezette brought the doctor into the house with a desperate look. She was in such a hurry that she hadnât even closed the door properly.
As I approached Ezetteâs house sneakily, I heard a conversation through the open door.
âMom, hang in there a little longer, okay? Doctor, whatâs wrong with my mother?â
The voice sounded hurt. I felt the urgency so much that I bit my lip unconsciously.
âI changed the medication, but it doesnât seem to work. Even if we overcome the crisis today, thereâs no guarantee we will overcome it in the future. I think itâs better to prepare your mindâ¦â
âNo!â
I heard Ezette crying from inside.
Even though sheâd been told that her mother wasnât a good mother to her children, Ezette still couldnât let go.
ââ¦â
Ezetteâs mother would die within a month, even after changing her medication with the money Ezette and Ronan saved.
Perhaps that was just the authorâs method to isolate Ezette and turn her into an avenger completely. Even though I knew it was a simple setup situation, I couldnât move hastily.
âEzette will faithfully help me if I ask for help.â
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In the original story, she missed her motherâs passing because she sought money and avenged her brother. But now that she didnât have to, sheâd been given a new chance to be by her motherâs side.
My mouth felt bitter as I recalled the time when I had to bury both of my parents due to a sudden car accident without being able to say goodbye to them.
âEze-â My voice crawled, but I left soon after hearing nothing but a wail. I couldnât disturb her because I knew better what it was like to be left by someone without watching their passing.