It was good that Kid didnât come and that I was still alive. But the more this happened, the more fearful I became.
Wasnât there a saying that there was the calm before the storm?
Having stayed up all night with a tired mind, I stretched limp on the bed.
I could have thought positively about Kid not coming. Heâd assured me he would spare me until Iâd completely seduced Seniel. So he couldâve simply trusted me and didnât come to see me.
âBut thatâs unlikely.â
Because Kid didnât trust people.
âCan I live tonight?â
There were only four days left until the stowaway, but it felt like a long way to go.
I pressed my eyes hard with my hand. Knock, someone knocked on the door. Maybe itâs Seniel. It mustnât be easy to come to check whether I was alive as soon as he woke up, but I thought he was sincere.
âVivi, itâs me. May I come in?â
I got up like a zombie.
âYes, come in.â
I saw Seniel with his hair tied up. I lowered the hand that was massaging the area around my eyes. I shrugged, widening my arms slightly as if to show pretentiousness.
âYouâre fine today as well, it seems.â Relief appeared on his pale face. He shouldâve known I was still alive from hearing my voice outside the door, but it wasnât until he was my face that he let out a sigh.
He covered his face with both hands. They were pretty, thin, and long.
âItâs good to look delicate, but he only looks sick every time I see it.â
Although it can also be cute sometimes, I thought as I recalled his cuteness yesterday.
Seniel slowly lowered his hand. I thought he would be in tears, but he wasnât. The tears stopped at the brim. Iâd told him not to cry yesterday. Perhaps it bothered him, so today he didnât cry.
âIf you want to cry, just cry.â
I averted my gaze as he held back his tears. Now I felt bad that the reason he didnât cry today was because of my words.
It reminded me of an animal documentary Iâd seen in real life. Whenever I watched an animal documentary, I would cry out to the camera director to save the miserable dying animal. But now I understood the camera directorâs feelings. It was necessary to keep the rules of the original story, like following the way of nature.
âOf course, my survival attempt will destroy the original story.â
But at least I wouldnât do anything unscrupulous that separated the main characters, so it should be okay. I gently indulged myself.
There was nothing I could do for him, sad as it was. And again, no matter how different he looked from Kid, Seniel was still Kid. He was someone I shouldnât look at with pity.
I opened my mouth without making eye contact.
âYouâve checked on me. Go on now.â
ââ¦â
I thought he would leave with a gentle âyesâ like yesterday, but I didnât hear any answer or footsteps. This made me wonder if he had anything left to say, so I turned my gaze back to him. Seniel opened his mouth with a hesitant expression and then closed it.
When I looked at him with eyes as if asking, âWhy arenât you going?â, he finally spoke. âI believe in you, Vivi. But I think it would be better for me to go far for today.â
âWhy?â I realized why he said that only after asking the question, which was a beat late.
âHe knows that Kid is particularly wild on his fatherâs death day.â
At my sharp question, Seniel looked at me with calm eyes.
â⦠You may not know because I didnât tell you in advance, but today is my fatherâs birthday. Kid becomes more irrational this day, so Iâd rather go outâ¦â
âDonât.â
In urgency, I unknowingly grabbed his wrist. It was something that was never meant to be said. Sending him away when Kid was so stretched mentally? It was like sending my life away with him.
I had to appeal to Kid that Seniel was on my side, so it was necessary to show that Seniel trusted me and we were building a good relationship.
Seniel looked at me desperately holding him and became perplexed. His eyes, sunk deep in gloom and guilt, opened wide.
âDonât leave. Receive the flower I give you today, and go to bed without a thought. Donât do anything else.â
I was afraid he would do something stupid. Holding his wrist, I warned him urgently and firmly not to do what he had in mind.
âDonât harm yourself, either. You must sleep. Donât ever, hold yourself from sleeping. You should never leave any gaps for Kid.â
â⦠A-All right.â
He agreed, but his eyes asked me, âHow did you know?â My heart pounded nervously at that look.
âWere you going to do everything I said if I didnât warn you?â
His innocent face made me dizzy. Still, I took his hand with both hands eagerly.
âDamn. What else is there⦠In any case, donât do anything extra. Just go to the temple like yesterday, have dinner with me when you return, and receive the flower I give you and decorate them prettily. Do you understand?â
Seniel grew pale at my biting words.
â⦠Yes, I understand⦠Iâm sorry I couldnât be of any help.â
He seemed guilty again of his incompetence. His broad shoulders receded slightly.
Seeing a grown man sulking like that made me feel bad. To be more precise, seeing a handsome man looking so frustrated was uncomfortable. So I closed my eyes pretending I didnât see it. However, the tearful eyes holding back tears were dazzling, so I couldnât completely ignore him this time.
âThatâs enough. Why are you sorry? You were trying to help me.â
âBut it didnât help at allâ¦â
âWhatâs important is the intention. And youâre already helping enough. So pull yourself together.â
I didnât know if I was being helpful, but eventually, I decided to conclude that it was just helpful.
âNothing will change if he gets upset because he canât help. Itâs better to see him as a separate character from Kid.â
I patted Senielâs hand as if to comfort him.
âCome on, letâs strive hard to survive again. Got it?â
â⦠Strive⦠Yes, I will.â
Such an obedient boy who listens well.
Feeling all right, Seniel opened the door to get ready to work. He smiled softly as he walked out. It looked like a forced smile while pretending to be energetic, but it was better than being gloomy.
***
After sending Seniel away, I stretched out on the bed again. I just wanted to lie down like this all day. After I transmigrated as Vivi, Iâd never taken a day off.
âOther romance fantasy transmigrators usually have loving, tyrant dads, supporting second male leads, or raising babies.â
Why was I the only one playing such extreme survival?
My whole body was sore. Gradually, my eyes relaxed.
I had an appointment with Ezette, but there was still some time left before that. Before going to sleep, I called the maid and asked her to wake me up before lunchtime.
As soon as I finished the request, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
***
I felt like my stamina was not recharged even after sleeping. Thatâs why you should avoid staying up all night. To people who wanted a taste of their body fading, I strongly recommended staying up all night.
âI keep talking nonsense because Iâm tired.â
Iâd often stayed up all night for assignments, but never for fear of survival. My physical strength seemed to be getting worse.
I groaned, got ready to go out, and climbed into the carriage with a roar. The coachman looked at me strangely.
The carriage departed. The scenery outside the window swirled. I looked out the window with unfocused eyes.
I thought I would wake up a little bit when I came out of the mansion, but perhaps because I was somewhat relieved, I became even sleepier.
Besides, wasnât I on my way to meet Ezette?
Although her motive was suspicious, she was still the female lead. The female lead was the only one who could help me.
âTaking off all the gauche protective gears is so comfortable.â
I didnât have to arm myself to meet Ezette, so I was dressed comfortably and freely. Eventually, I dozed off in the carriage until I reached my destination.
When the carriage stopped, I almost hit my head on the sofa on the other side. I quickly got out, roughly wiping the saliva around my mouth with the back of my hand.
***
âBecause this is the world of a romance fantasy novel, the cafe is clean and nice.â
At first glance, it was nothing short of a modern building, but I was sure the details differed.
I went into the cafe to find Ezette. I looked inside, but there was no familiar face anywhere.
Did I miss the appointment time? No, itâs right. Where the hell are you?
I also scanned the group room, just in case. There was a transparent glass window on the group room door, so you could see inside without opening the door.
âFound you.â
I saw Ezette sitting in the group room. She wore plain clothes that commoners would wear, but his face shone so hard that the clothes didnât look so shabby.
I made eye contact with Ezette before opening the door. She immediately got up from her seat and strode towards me, looking tense.
âWhatâs going on?â
I was nervous, too.
Had she noticed that Seniel was Kid? But if that was the case, she wouldâve called me somewhere more private. Or, was she going to blackmail me? Was the female lead running out of funds to track down Seniel now?
I couldnât stop thinking and went inside with anxiety.
As soon as I entered, Ezette looked at me solemnly. I didnât know the reason and was about to suggest that we sit down and talk. But suddenly, Ezetteâs height dropped sharply. My line of sight, which had been looking at Ezetteâs face, went down as well.
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I couldnât hide my jumpiness.
âSir Phylaxis. What are you doing?â
Suddenly, she knelt in front of me.
At best, I thought sheâd threaten me or half-forced me to be a helper. Iâd never anticipated she would kneel before me like this.
Ezette knelt on her knees and bowed her head. Because of that, I couldnât even look at her expression.
âI need help.â
Whatâs the use of kneeling?
âIâll listen, so sit down and talk.â
Without listening to me, she persisted and continued, âI have long forgotten what happened before, so I wonât be rude and threaten you with such things. Rather, I will do whatever Your Ladyship tells me to do.â
âI think Iâll have to hear why youâre doing this before I can answer you, sir.â
Ezette, who had been bowing, raised her head. As soon as IÂ saw her face, I took a small breath of surprise.
âWhat the hell is going on with her?â
Despair, misery, and desperation were deep in her face. She looked more pathetic than a man with a deadly disease.
Slowly, Ezette opened her mouth.
âI need money.â