SHIN
The splash of cold water pacifies me. Repeating it thrice I stare at my reflection- tucking the wet matted hair behind my ears to see my pathetic face moist with despair. Securing the tap I let my hair free of the braid - using fingers to massage my scalp I attempt to appease the ache. Each memory of what had happened an hour ago gripes me into an essence of alienation.
Hugging myself into a smaller entity I stepped back to simply watch the girl in the mirror. If exhaustion had a face, she would be it. Her cheeks were flushed pink with how fast her mind was racing- her petite body donned with blacktop and skirt, they were there to put on a show- her eyes, they conceivably were the most impressive trait of hers. They were hooded, hazel, and expressive when they desired to.
They also were happier and prettier when she had been hell-bent on ignoring the reality she comes with.
Fatigued, I sigh jerking my head to get the thoughts out. Owing up to the mistake I did was the only solution to it- swabbing with the rolled-up towel on the basket, I fling it across once I was dry enough. Walking out i spot Lee on his mobile, seated by the edge of the bed, changed into a fresh light blue shirt. The older one had Madisons blood on them.
He looks up as soon as he senses my stare on him. I know I wasn't giving him a thing away as I imitated a stone at the moment. Never had my emotions ever been stonier than this- They were rigid, strong, and finally building up the wall between us than I should have done ages ago.
Only if he had let me be.
"How is she?" I ask, not allowing his dense stare to bother me. He takes his time to articulate a reply.
"Aldo is with her. She is fine" I secretly hoped to detect some kind of rage and concern when he spoke of Madison. But the way his entire focus was directed to and at me- I hated it. I despised the steps that had us here. breaking this chain was a necessity- and to do it, I want him to hate me. But I was so harmless in his view that no matter what I did- he would probably see through my lies.
So I stood there as he got up and walked over. He doesn't say a word- silently he tugs my hand to inspect the redness on my knuckles. I severely wish it did something to Moreno- it was the strongest punch I could pack. By the end of my brutal prayers â a soft sigh from Lee alerts me.
His thumb brushes my knuckles as he holds my gaze-
"Why didn't you leave when I asked you to?" it was a question, but the tone was rhetorical so I don't answer him. But it doesn't suffice there- not with how sharp his eyes got when I ignored him "What's wrong?"
The weather was unconditionally cold, with temperature decreasing as the night ascends. Snatching my hand from him ,I hugged myself again. I needed to quit the dependence I have on him. His smile, his voice, his care- I had gotten used to it. But habits that has been learned could be erased.
But was he a habit?
Breathing isn't a habit. And for me- Lee was no less. He was my necessity â he was something I've searched for and dreamt in my barren fantasy.
"When are we leaving tomorrow?"
The formality in my utterance didn't faze him, as if he knew I would behave in such this way. He always knew of a junction that will be harsh to go through. But not when.
Neither did I.
"By four. We also have to leave for Seoul in three days" he angles slightly to watch me, perplexed I frown at how It had completely skipped my mind- the Korean reception that takes place by the end of this week. A ceremony that will have us united for the sake of media and sorcerers. The reason this all began.
"So we reach our goal soon" I blurt, the frozen letters seeping off me without hesitation.
"What goal?"
Serious and persuasive. He was daring me to say it. I do it anyways-
"Your profile will steer clear. You will be free to do anything with your life once the conference takes place" with a prompt I lift my gaze to meet his. He rakes my face for the slip- I watch the anger cloud his eyes as he takes a step further. I retreat one with my hands falling to my side.
"Is this all a fucking game to you?" he seethes as I bite the inside of my lip.
Not a past- it's my future.
"If so-" he yanks me, wrapping my frame into a furious hold "-then you chose the wrong person for it"
His cologne twists my sanity into a mashed complication. He was like the warmest place I could find in the coldest night- so when he kisses me- I try to fight him off by a hand to his chest. But he scarcely budged as he slams me briskly against the wall- breathing down my neck- leaving a trail of wet kisses as he grabs my wrist, raising them above my head. Fastening me to his likes.
"Lee- don't" I force out the whisper as he arches my body to him. kissing me again to cut off the protest as I melt in. He doesn't even have to fight for dominance as I felt his finger grazed the inside of my thighs, sliding it up and down-
"You were saying something babe?" his husky utterance after he breaks the kiss was a cunning act. He knew what he was doing me- he was erasing the reasons that were there to erase him from my life. I couldn't do it- speak on his demands as he draws the hem of my shirt from the skirt. His fingers and palm squeezed my waist as he worked his way inside my top. "You want me to stop?"
He breaths.
"I- I, Lee" mine was no better. My words morphed into a moan as he explored me in nooks that I didn't have control over.
It was the audacity of his â his smirk that curled against my shoulder. He undid the top buttons of my shirt in quick moves. I closed my eyes when he picks me up, effortlessly. My legs wrap around him as he gets us to bed-
He leans with his gaze piercing onto mine, laying me on the soft matters as he moves the stray strands of hair from my face.
"You are beautiful," he says with his finger tracing over the lace of my undershirt- but his eyes never for once leaves mine, yet they seem to have memorized each and every detail of me- they were wild, they ere dark. Yet so gentle and raw with passion "I feel like my heart Is going to explode"
I raise my hand to his face- feeling the dampness of his hair from the shower he took and his heated skin on my palms-
"Mine too" I crane myself to kiss him, but he was all over me in a second. Shedding off the layers that separated us. Into the darkness, I felt him bite onto my shoulder as I gasped, with a knowing glint that followed he projected me on his discovery.
"You like that don't you?"
It was probably the only movement in the night where my hyperactivity gave in as I ramble-
"I don't know, maybe-" he frowns with the slow realization "-it's not something I experienced before"
He paused every little thing to look at me with his lips parted- I look away timid and shy from the combination hunger and shock that painted him. His fingers curl by the back of my neck, tilting me as he kissed me softly for the first time since this escalated.
"I don't know what to do with the surprise you are," he says, as I was pushed deeper into the sheets and a state of ecstasy as he whispered "I love you"
A breath hitched in my throat, he fists my hair in an abrupt surprise as he whispered in my ears,
"I don't think I've loved anyone the way I love you, and I promise to show you just how much"
I don't get to dwell
His nails sank into my skin by the small of my back, and suddenly it dawns on me. It reminds me furiously of why I wasn't able to resist him or his touch when I had my mind made and staked with excuses to end whatever had us in a bind.
It wasn't just any touch that's gone when he isn't with you. It was a poetry that possess you with its roots reaching far into your soul- making you an addict. I couldn't resist because he was writing himself on my skin and the scary thing was- I don't think I will ever be able to wash him away.
Not tomorrow, Not forever.
It was a lost battle- so I let him win.
...
Well...i told you this book was a little little different.