CH 1

At 4 o’clock in the morning, tranquillity resumed in the emergency hall once again.

Xu Qin, in a white coat, walked through the hall with her hands in her pockets.

The cleaner took the mop, dipped it in disinfectant, and forcefully mopped the bloodstain on the floor.

Xu Qin was absentminded and only came to when she reached the cleaner’s side. The cleaner couldn’t avoid her in time, and the mop pushed the blood slop over, covering Xu Qin’s shoes.

The cleaner hurriedly apologized: “I’m sorry, Doctor Xu, I’m sorry.” Right after that, the cleaner subconsciously rubbed her hands with the cleaning rag.

Xu Qin quickly pulled out her hand and stopped the cleaner from squatting down: “You don’t need to, it’s okay.”

“But…”

Xu Qin gently interrupted: “It was my carelessness that inconvenienced you.”

Hearing this, the cleaner became increasingly embarrassed: “No such thing. Why don’t, I think I’d better help you wipe it off.”

Xu Qin stopped her once again, and smiled very slightly, “I can take care of it myself.”

The cleaner felt guilty as well as grateful, “Doctor Xu, you’re a good person.”

Xu Qin continued walking forward.

The cleaner grasped the mop tightly and stared at Xu Qin’s back – a slender and tall figure, the white coat further added a hint of quietness and exquisiteness, her hair cinched together over the shoulders with a rubber band, a few tendrils sprang loose on both sides.

The cleaner hesitated for a moment, and lightly called out, “Doctor Xu!”

The spacious and empty hall echoed.

Xu Qin’s footsteps halted and turned around: “Yes?”

“The person that was sent here just now, was he saved?”, the little cleaner asked, subconsciously glancing at the bloodstains under her feet.

At this moment, the emergency hall was deadly calm*, you could hear a needle drop, who would have imagined the weeping and hubbub not too long ago, a ball of chaos and disorder.

风平浪静 fēng píng làng jìng lit. breeze is still, waves are quiet (idiom); tranquil environment / all is quiet / a dead calm (at sea)

Xu Qin said, “Managed to save.”

The biggest smile broke out on the cleaner’s face. “That’s awesome. Doctor Xu,” she bowed towards Xu Qin, “you’ve worked hard.”

Xu Qin nodded slightly in response, and turned to leave.

Four o’clock, it’s the darkest hour of the night.

The deathly pale lights shone down the hospital corridor, the distinctive flavor of life and death filled the air, bitterness, impossible to get rid of.

Xu Qin put her hands back into her pockets as usual, passed through the corridor where there’s not a soul in sight*, entered her office, and stood still. She lowered her head and fixed her eyes at the dirty shoes on her feet, a hint of distaste in her eyes. She frowned, and felt extremely disgusted. The blood slop seemed to be able to seep through the surface of the shoe, oozing through the instep and entering the body.

空无一人 kōng wú yī rén – not a soul in sight (idiom)

Instep

Xu Qin quickly sat down on the chair, took off her shoes and threw them into the rubbish bin. The socks were clean, yet she paid no attention to the familiar sight but yanked them off and threw them away as well. She also opened the drawer, pulled out the wet wipes, and vigorously wiped her instep. The skin was rubbed until it became red then right before the skin peeled, she stopped.

Xu Qin calmed down and adjusted her breathing little by little. She threw away the tissue, opened the cupboard, put on the spare shoes, turned around and walked to the washstand. She turned on the tap, pumped the soap, rubbed between her hands, rinsed off the foam, pumped the soap once again, rubbed her hands together, rinsed off the foam, back and forth three times.

Xu Qin methodically* completed this string of actions, took out her cellphone from the pocket of her white coat and glanced at it, 4:10 am. It was pitch black outside.

有条不紊 yǒu tiáo bù wěn – regular and thorough (idiom), methodically arranged

The emergency room was peacefully quiet, as if the night was finally going to pass without any mishap.

There was a missed call and a text message on the phone from Meng Yanchen: “Come home over the weekend.”

From the phone’s black screen, Xu Qin saw that her eye sockets were slightly caved in. She had been working non-stop for 22 hours, her whole body felt numb.

Xu Qin placed her hand back in her pocket, her index finger gently tapping the cigarette case and lighter, and glanced at the “No Smoking” sign on the wall.

She stared at the sign for a while, curled her lips, got up and walked to the balcony.

Xu Qin leaned against the railing and lit a cigarette in the night wind.

Halfway through the puff, a yell came from behind: “Doctor!”

Xu Qin got up and put out the cigarette, closed the balcony door, and went back indoors to wash her hands three times. Just barely after turning off the tap, an unkempt man covered in ashes rushed in: “Doctor, help!”

Xu Qin’s eyes swept over him quickly, no obvious injury: “Where are you not feeling well?”

The out-of-breath* square-faced man gestured with his hand: “No, my brother*, he—”

上气不接下气 shàng qì bù jiē xià qì – out of breath (idiom) / to gasp for air

兄弟 xiōng dì – brothers / younger brother / brotherly / fraternal

Just as he finished, three to four dirty and disorderly men entered, the smell of smoke and pungent sweat came through too. The men wore military green tank vests and trousers, each of them tall and rugged, each of them more disheveled than the last, but each one more sloppy than the last, their arms exposed, covered in black ash, who knows from which construction site they came from.

The square-faced man took a breath and pointed behind him. Xu Qin looked over and saw a man’s body, wrapped in a tank top, and still did not know who he was pointing to after a while.

“He, he has a terrible toothache.”

Xu Qin suddenly stopped her steps: “Toothache?”

The square-faced man was still pointing: “Doctor, come over and see him…”

Xu Qin interrupted: “The emergency department does not do dentistry, go register in the outpatient clinic.”

“The clinic is currently closed.”

Xu Qin: “Then wait for it to open before going.”

Xu Qin walked to her desk and sat down, tilted her head then saw a group of men staring at her.

It was at this moment that Xu Qin saw the “sick” man among the crowd, he wore a mask, his thick eyebrows underneath, the eyes above the mask stared straight at her, the gaze sharp and bright. Just a look, and it was enough to see that he was completely different from the people beside him.

Xu Qin looked back at him fearlessly: “Did you misunderstand? The emergency department does not do dentistry, go to the outpatient clinic.”

He didn’t open his mouth, on the contrary, the square-faced man was a little impatient and quick-tempered: “The clinic is not open now, what should I do?”

Xu Qin: “Endure it.”

“You!” The square-faced man clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, as if making a great concession, “Then you can prescribe some painkillers.”

Xu Qin leaned against the back of the chair and put her hands in her pockets: “I can’t do that.”

“Why can’t the medicine be prescribed? You’re a doctor, do you know how terrible a toothache is?!”

Xu Qin replied calmly: “It’s not going to kill you.”

The square-faced man thought she was being offensive and raised his voice: “What’s with your tone?”

Xu Qin looked at him: “I am very patiently responding to your endless pestering.”

The square-faced man was furious: “It seems like you—”

An older man came up to grab his companion and helped to smooth things over: “Doctor, there’s some misunderstanding, it’s because he didn’t really make it clear just now, we don’t have a toothache. It’s not some kind of cavity, it’s an injury from work, the tooth broke, could you please take a look…” Then he turned around wanting to take off the man’s mask.

Xu Qin lowered her head and flipped over the medical records: “Don’t take it off, as I’m not a dentist, I can’t see to it.”

“Can you then prescribe some medicine? For pain relief.”

Xu Qin closed the medical record with a snap: “Can’t prescribe. How many times do you want me to say it?”

Before she finished speaking, the square-faced man couldn’t help but stride forward, pointing at Xu Qin: “Do you believe that—”

“Yang Chi!” A voice shouted coldly, it came from the man with a mask.

The muffled voice endured silently, with unusual resolution. Xu Qin lifted her eyes and glanced at him unconsciously.

It was that look again, his eyes dark and bright, staring at her.

He rose from his chair: “Sorry for the trouble.”

Xu Qin did not say a word.

The man with the mask took a step, stopped, and asked faintly, “What time does the clinic open?”

Xu Qin: “Eight o’clock.”

Man: “Thank you.”

Xu Qin: “No need.”

The man got up and walked out, but Yang Chi still would not accept it, and followed: “Captain Song, this—”

Song Yan had already walked out.

The others followed and left. Yang Chi was still angrily pointing at Xu Qin while he stomped away.

…

Yang Chi ran to catch up with Song Yan and the others, his anger has not subsided: “That doctor’s damn attitude is so terrible, I must complain about her. I saw it when I first entered, the complaint book is by the right door. Jiang Yi, you come with me.”

Jiang Yi sighed: “I’m just afraid it’s useless to complain, this is the Third Military Hospital. People with no background can’t get in. That young lady just now cost 2,580,000*, who knows what influence she has behind her.”

2,580,000 is often used to describe people with money and status. They have their own way to live and are not restricted by the world. If I understood it correctly, the number signifies a trump card in mahjong. Ten thousand because in Chinese, it symbolises good luck.

Song Yan walked down the steps and took off his mask, spitting a mouthful of bloody saliva into the trash can.

Jiang Yi: “Captain Song, are you alright. If you really can’t, we can call the higher ups?”

Song Yan: “It’s okay. Let’s go.”

Yang Chi stood still on the steps, thought about it, and decided to turn back: “This won’t do, I should still complain about her.”

Song Yan called out to him in a low voice: “Forget about it.”

Yang Chi wasn’t willing: “No, just thinking about her makes me angry, no matter if it’s of any use, I have to complain.”

Song Yan said again: “I told you to forget about it.”

Yang Chi didn’t listen, he turned around and ran up.

Song Yan: “Are you really disobeying the damn order?”

Yang Chi came to a halt, his body leaned forward.

Song Yan: “Stand properly for me! — Attention!”

Yang Chi straightened up.

Song Yan pointed to the other side of the street with his chin: “Return to the team.”

Yang Chi turned around straight as a ramrod and trotted down the steps.

Very late at night, an empty street, a fire truck parked across the street.

Jiang Yi stepped forward, wanted to say something.

Song Yan frowned and shook his head impatiently in the distance. Jiang Yi stood at attention, saluted, and trotted after Yang Chi.

Song Yan stood in place, absentmindedly wiped his dirty face with the mask, and accidentally touched his cheek. He hissed and breathed in the cold air, endured the sharp pain, licked his teeth, and spit out another mouthful of blood.

Damn it, having a toothache is so darn ghastly!

Song Yan looked back at the direction of Xu Qin’s office, half a second later, he withdrew his gaze.

Jiang Yi just got into the car, and Yang Chi asked, “Why do I think Captain Song is not right today?”

Jiang Yi: “What are you trying to say?”

Yang Chi: “As far as his temper is concerned, if it’s the usual, he won’t have given face.”

Jiang Yi: “It must be because she’s a woman?”

Yang Chi didn’t want to accept it: “Captain Song is so bad-tempered, he’s not that polite to women as well. I guess she’s a beautiful woman.”

Just as he said it, Song Yan grabbed the handle and jumped into the truck, while hitting the back of Yang Chi’s head.

Yang Chi promptly covered his head and begged for mercy: “I’ll shut up!”

Song Yan: “Drive.”

The red fire truck slowly started.

The whole journey back was clear and the street lights were brilliant. The city was still sleeping, the sky rays slightly lightened.

Song Yan placed his hand by the window, the cigarette between his fingers had burned to the end. He glanced back, the men askew and asleep, he smoked the final puff and slowly let it out.

The scene in the hospital appeared before him.

Her hands in her pockets, leaning against the chair, her chin raised slightly, her expression cold, mercilessly looking at him, just like in the past.

Song Yan had never thought before that she would return to China, not only that, but she didn’t recognize him anymore.

Ah, it has been almost ten years in the blink of an eye.