tw: panic attacks
- mattia
" hey mattia , where is avery?" jessica ask running down the steps.
" she left an hour ago with amara, i guess they are touring italy together." i answer. i was all sweaty because i just came from the gym. my brain was all over the place trying to figure out a lot of things.
" isnt she like axels sister? something about that girl is off." jessica screws up her face. " anyways when she gets back tell her come to my room."
she walks out the front door leaving me alon infront the stairs. i shake my head and walk straight to the shower.
i took a cold one to wash off all of my thoughts and clear my mind. i lather my skin with body wash and rinse it off.
i throw on a black shirt and some sweats. i turn the bathroom light off and head to the second floor to alejandro's room. i need someone to talk to.
" come in" someone answers through the door. i walk in and see him laying on his bed. " hey what's up?"
" can i talk to you about something?" i scratch the back of my head and sit on the chair infromt of his desk. " where is avery?" he questions.
" she went out with amara to tour italy." i answer. his eyes widen and he sits up. i guess everyone has the same suspicion as me. " you dont trust her either."
" yeah , something seems so weird about her. wait are they alone?" alejandro jumps.
" im not even sure. thats the problem, im afraid she might do something to her. everyone in the house doesn't seem to trust her."
" if avery feels right hanging with her , thats her decision. but i suggest you keep her away especially from your relationship." alejandro suggest.
" keep close eye on axel for me too , he seems so obsessed with avery and i dont have time to deal with him because of my gift for avery." i sigh.
- avery
" so , howd you like the tour?" amara smiles at me.
" i enjoyed it very much , thank you so much." i thank her.
todah has been really fun honestly. amara wasn't lying when she said italy was beautiful. me and amara have some what in common and i liked talking to her.
" i glad you did. so how are you and mattia?" she ask playing with the straw of her drink.
i feel very weird talking about my relationship with her.
" um were are great , i love him and he loves me. i trust him with my life so have no choice but to." i simply answer not going to anymore details. her facial expressions change and she shifts in her seat.
" he is really good at hiding stuff isnt he?" she mumbles under her breath. i choke on my drink slightly being caught off by her.
i look around the restaurant and its only us in here. i did forget she said this was a private restaurant.
( play song)
" excuse me what?" i gulped.
" i said he is really good at hiding stuff," she says becoming more hostile. " dont play dumb , you know what this is."
" im sorry but what are you trying to say?"Â i asked but being more afraid.
" your so faithful man isnt as faithful as you think. and your just dumb to believe the act he is putting on." she fumed.
something told me that this was all just a setup but i tried to just give her a chance. what does she mean not so faithful?
mattia has never lied to me once nor has he cheated on me. well what im aware of.
" amara what are you talking about? mattia hasnt done anything to be unfaithful to me" i stutterted.
she rolls her eyes and gets out of her chair. " god your so stupid , me and mattia slet together. boom , happy now?"
i blink a few times trying to process everything she just said. my heart is racing and im trying to slow it down.
i can tell she see's the steam blowing from my ears right now. why should i believe her? her and mattia just met two days ago.
" your - your lying , you guys literally just met." i trembled. my chair feels like its about to snap under me. i push all ny weight on it to keep my stable.
" thats what he wants you to think. remember his little buisness trip to france two months ago? who do you think he was with?" she smirks.
my mouth becomes dry. but thats still not enough proof. she has to be lying. whh would i believe someone i just met two days ago over my boyfriend who i have been with over 3 years now?
right?
i would be and idiot to believe her.
" that still doenst prove anything. anyone can tell you that he was in france especially his dad. im not stupid you bitch." i hissed.
" still don't believe me, what about that tattoo with a panther paw below his hip on the right side. oh and not to mention the scar on his lower back."
no.
" no , no th- this cant be true."
she has to be lying. then she has the audacity to sit and laugh in my face. i feel the tears building up in the bottom lid of my eyes. i blink my eyes shutting them only causing the tears to fall.
" see , dont let these men fool you. you would be dumb to even believe him. you just as stupid as i thought."
" i cant- i cant do this right now."
she rushes out of the restaurant with tears streaming down her face. her vision was blurred by them. nothing is more painful to find out you so called boyfriend cheated on you with a girl you barely know.
she hops into the car and grips onto the stearing wheel ,hard. her nails dig into the leather fabric. she needed to get home safely.
driving calmly, she made it home. she needed to be reassured that none of what that physcho bitch said. all she could think of is how did she know about that , when know one else does except her.
she wanted to be sure , she needed to ask her self. she reached the room door pushing it open. there he was sitting on the bed.
her blood pounded through her ears. her heart thudded through her chest. her air ways were tight and it felt as if she was losing air. if she opened her mouth to speak she would simply stop breathing.
her vision disfigured as if she was looking through a fish eye lens. her throat was dry and it felt like she was being choked.
he was confused and worried. her body gave out and she slides her back down the door. she felt the need to hit or throw something. her hands shaked trying to suppress her heart. he dropped to his knees infront of her trying to calm her.
" baby," she called out and the tears kept overflowing. enough to flood their room floor.
" its just me okay , look in right here. its okay baby." he tries everything in his power to get her out of this state.
" tell me , tell me now that im the only one. please." she choked. her airways were to clogged for her to say anything else.
" its just you baby , it will always and forever you baby. only you" i places his cold hand on her cheek. " only my love,"
" you didnt sleep with her right?" she looks up and her heary starts racing again. she looks away again as a wave of heat flashes over her. sweat forms on her forehead .
" hey look at me, i have never even looked in another women's direction yet alone sleep with them while being with you. its only you nothing more nothing less."
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hello everyone! your shocked huh? im jot gonna lie to you guys i cried righting this only because i relate. whoever else has gone through something like this , im so sorry and i hope you recover.
the lasg few chapters have been more on the softer side , revealing a development in their relationship. avery always needs that act if reassurance from mattia just so she knows because she wants to hear it from him.
she reads his feelings through his eyes but she feels much greater if he says a few times. its like a moment of " if i had to choose between you and a million of other things i wanted , ill always pick you."
her panic attack was triggered by the events taken place between her and amara. amara described what she feared most which caused her to hyperventilate and seek that from mattia.
avery has never had one before so she hasng learned how to control it.
now im going to start going deeper into this and i hope you guys see what in trynna do.
i might make a uploading schedule i just have to figure out what it is.
happy reading!!!