Penny and Danny spent the rest of the day hanging out; however, neither brought up the audition. Penny didn't feel like talking about something that wasn't any special, and Danny simply read her mood and decided against it.
He left before dinner time, but earlier they talked about random thing and watched some movies together. Quentin was no where to be seen. For dinner that Saturday night, Penny ate some of the leftover Mac and Cheese.
The next day, Sunday, she did what she wanted to do yesterday: nothing. She physically did nothing, but mentally, her mind felt fairly busy.
She would by laying in bed when she would remember one nasty beating from her teen years. Or she would think about what Aubrey would think of what she was doing. She felt guilty when thinking about her friends. What would they think of you if they knew you just stay in bed all day?
She really didn't want to stay like this, but she feels so empty inside, it was pointless to do anything. She was afraid that she couldn't find joy in anything anymore. She felt like she couldn't feel. It's just better if I stay here in my bed.
In her bed, nothing could hurt her. She didn't have to face the disappointment of her friends and new family. She had no creeping thoughts of if her friends couldn't stand her presence. Once in a while, she would feel guilty, that she was letting down her therapist, but it went away when other self-depreciating thoughts entered.
Quentin didn't notice anything wrong with his wife. He was focused on completing his large collection of novels, therefore, not leaving his room very often.
Ms. Birdie noticed right away when she saw how she stayed in bed. She would always bring food outside her door. She tried to enter, but Penny kept the door locked. The tray would sometimes disappear and then reappear with the food half eaten (which wasn't a lot of food). Ms. Birdie decided to give it another day before taking action.
However, the next day wasn't that much better.
Penny got some sleep during the night, but not much due to the fact she took many naps during the previous day. She doesn't like the way she feels, really. It's not like she wants to be capacitated to her bed, barely able to get to the bathroom. But...
It was better than actually facing her emotions and problems.
Having to face her emotions means that she would have to tell someone about what happened. She already hated the fact that two people know what happened to her. She doesn't want to come to terms with what happened. She prefers to just try and forget it all. However, with all her past trauma bottled up, she doesn't know how to emote. She doesn't know how to face her anxiety or identify triggers.
The fear of shame, embarrassment, and judgement were greater than seeking help at the moment. She was perfectly happy (well, she didn't feel much other than exhaustion) being on her own.
Anyways, I don't want to bother anyone with my problems.
Ms. Birdie didn't want to be left out of anyone's problems. She was the type of woman that needed to know everything that is happening and do anything she can to help.
By mid-afternoon on that Monday, she went through the kitchen, rifling through all drawers to find the "junk door". Hopefully, the master key to the bedroom doors will be found. When she has no luck, she journeys upstair, past Penny's door, and knock on the door of the master-of-the house.
She hears some shuffling before the door is opened wide. Quentin stands on the other side, the most causal she has ever seen him. He was wearing a pair of dark gray sweatpants with a college name running down on pants leg and he was wearing a plain, navy t-shirt. It was something that all men wear when relaxing.
"What's the problem, Birdie?" He asks, itching to get back to the book he was reading.
"I was wondering if you happen to have keys to open the bedroom door?"
Thinking of how odd the request was, he had to ask, "Why would you need that?"
"Uh, well," She didn't know how to respond, especially since it was about his wife that he doesn't care too much about. "Penny isn't feeling very well, but she locked her door. I am getting concerned about her. So can I have the key to help her?"
It wasn't a lie, she wasn't feeling well. It just wasn't physical.
He looked at her for a second, thinking of what to do. "I can go check on her. Why don't you make some food for her?"
"I don't know if she will feel comfortable around you," she says without thinking. "I am so sorry I said that sir! It's not what it sounds like."
He started to get a heavy feeling in his chest, as if he couldn't breath super well. He wanted to help her if she wasn't feeling well. They were on good terms now. Penny should trust him on these things. He decided to pull rank, making him sound a little ruthless, "Well, I am the one with the keys."
"Okay," Birdie said, with her head hanging low. She wakes away, down the stairs, to make something for the young woman. She decides on making some yellow cake with chocolate frosting for her. Dessert always brings joy.
Quentin grabs the keys from his at-home office and goes to knock-on Penny's door. "Hey, Penny. I heard you weren't feeling well...can I come in?" He tries to speak in a more gentle tone, but Quinn wasn't the most gentle man.
He doesn't hear a reply, but he unlocks the door anyways.
Her room...could be cleaner. There were piles on clothes on the ground near her clothes, close to the bathroom, and by the bed. Her bed comforter was half on the ground and half on the bed and the sheets were drawn across the bed, not tucked into the side. There were dirty bowls, cups and plates in her night stand and any other surface that could hold food. The only pristine thing in the room was a large, full body mirror with delicate gold decor located in the corner.
He feels like he was walking into the past. He knows that she wasn't sick. He knows that she is depressed.
Sometimes, his mood swings would take him to the lowest of the low, causing him to stop taking care of himself and his space. He was more high functioning because he had a very important position at his company. Even though some days he almost begged not to, he would get out of bed and head to work.
However, like his other mood swings, these feelings of numbness would leave and he would become more mental stable, less numb.
He understands though how draining simple things can be, or how easy it was to just stay in bed, thinking. He can't even image what is going through her head.
Well, at the moment, probably not much. She was currently napping. She is laying on her side, curled into a ball, protecting herself from the outside world that is causing her so much pain.
He decides to first wake her up so that she could bathe. Once he got closer, he realized that she really did need a shower, or bath. He walks over to her side, and gentle shakes her shoulder to wake up. "Penny," he says, just above the volume of a whisper. "Get up, okay...Penny, wake up."
He could see her moving a little bit and could hear her breathing pick up, but her eyes remained closed.
Penny was starting to have a flashback. Often times when she was asleep, her father would wake her up from sleep. He would, of course, be drunk and want to take his frustrations out on hitting his daughter. He would grab her by the shoulder and violently shake, leaving her confused and sitting up in bed. He would then drag her out of bed onto her floor and give her stomach a few good kicks, then deciding to trash her room.
Most of the time, she would just lay on the floor afterwards, thankful that her father didn't take out his frustrations in other ways.
Penny was awoken by Quentin, but her eyes stayed closed, worried that she might open them and her father will be looming over her body.
He watched as she curled herself into a tighter ball, as though someone was going to hurt her. She is whispering, "Please don't" and "I didn't do anything wrong". She, then, sat up, eye wide open, yelling "Father!"
Quentin didn't really know what to make of this. He could tell that she went through something in her past and was still suffering from it, but he just doesn't know what.
Penny looked around, seeing that it wasn't her bedroom and her father wasn't there. Her breathing was rough and uneven. Sweat plastered fly-away strands of red hair to her pale skin. She looks to her left and didn't expect the person next to her.
Why is Quentin here? she wondered to herself.
She also took another look at her surrounding, which was her messy room. She didn't want him seeing this. She felt embarrassing, thinking that it made her seem like she enjoyed living in her own filth. She pulls the sheets closer to her body, looking away from him, "Can you please leave my room?"
He decides to ignore her question, so that he could ask another one, "Are you okay?"
She turns her head a little, so that out of the corner of her eye she could his expression. He had genuine concern slapped on his face. His eyebrows where high and his eyes were gentle. His face was relaxed and his body was open to her. Everything about him screamed (to her) pity.
"I am fine," she replies, coldly. She didn't want his help. She didn't want to be a burden when he was busy with other things. She knew she wasn't more important than what he was doing. "Can you please leave now."
"Well, Birdie was pretty worried about you. She is making you some food, and I thought I would check on you."
It was pretty obvious that she was embarrassed and uncomfortable with him being there. She he not looking at him and her knees were close to her chest, closing off her whole body.
"She has nothing to worry about, I'm fine," she says, getting annoyed.
"Okay," he tries, "Even if you are feeling fine, why don't you take a shower? You look a little sweaty after that nap and it will be really relaxing."
"Can I take a bath instead," she ask as those she is a shy child. Not that there was anything wrong with that. Quinn actually thought it was pretty cute.
"Yes, why don't you get a fresh pair of clothes and I will start it for you," Penny actually looks him in the eyes. She has seen the same look on men on stage during certain scenes. However, this one sent butterflies to her stomach and made her agree to what he was saying.
Before going to start the bath, he gives her anther nod back. The bathroom was pretty messy too. Makeup and other skin products were spread across the counter, and dried towels lie in piles near the shower door. He starts the bath, making sure the water coming out was just right. He proceeds to clean up the towels and put them in the laundry hamper. He also rifles through the drawer to find a bag of lavender scented bath salts. He takes a generous scoop and tosses them into the water.
He walks out of the bathroom, with the hamper slightly hidden behind him, to find Penny laying back on the bed, with some random clothes in her hand.
"The water is almost ready," He grabs her attention.
She slowly rises from her position and gets off the bed. He follows her into the bathroom, swiping her phone off the desk. When she turns back to face him, he ask, "Can you unlock your phone?"
Hesitantly, but has nothing to hid, Penny says, "Sure."
She unlocks it and hands it back to her husband, suspiciously. His focus returns to her phone, looking through apps. Once he find the one he is looking for, he press a button and sets it down on the counter. It was her music app. He found a playlist labelled "favorites" and decided to play it, so she could listen to her favorite music while relaxing in the tub.
"Thank you," Penny says, turning off the water. She was trying to signal him to leave, so she could undress. Still standing there, like an obviously idiot, she has to say, "You can leave now."
He stands up straight and his eye widen, "Oh, yeah, of course. I'll leave you be."
With that, he closed the door, leaving Penny alone again. She undresses and slowly lowers into the tub, appreciating the sweet lavender smell that is present in the water.
While she bathes, Quentin and Ms. Birdie were busy with there own things. Birdie was making a cake for the girl, while also starting to prepare dinner for all three of them. Quentin also decided to clean the room for her. He had a feeling she wasn't going to do it herself, but he okay doing it for her. He put all the clothes into the hamper or back on hangers, made her bed, and gathered all the dishes to bring them back to the kitchen. Upon getting closer to the kitchen, amazing smelling waft into his nose. He lets out a sign of contentment. In the kitchen, he finds the maid busy.
"What are you making?" He had to ask, bringing all the dishing into the sink.
"I have a cake in the oven and right now I am starting dinner."
He walks behind her, looking over her shoulder at what she was making. It looked like she was preparing some sort of fish with potatoes, even some olives where in the mix. Quentin thought that it looked pretty good. Of course, he had to ask what was for dinner.
"Bacalhau à lagareiro" she responded.
Not knowing what that was, he decided to leave it be. Only replying with, "It looks delicious!"
"How is Penny doing?" She stopped cooking.
"She could be doing better," There was no point in just saying she was doing okay when she wasn't. "I ran a bath for her and put on some of her favorite music. I find that usually helps."
"Okay," Birdie returns to her cooking. "Thank you, Quentin. I'm glad that you are being so kind to her. There were enough men in her life hurting her, she didn't need another." The last part she muttered under her breath. Quentin knew she said something, but he wasn't sure what that something way.
He went back upstairs to grab the laundry. He slowly opened the door, just to make sure a naked Penny wasn't on the other side. Once no sounds of "Stop! Don't come in yet", he opened the door all the way. Like he predicted, she was still in the bath. He knocked on the door and asked how she was doing.
All in return, over the music, he got a, "I'm good. I'm going to get out soon."
"Okay, once you are dressed, why don't you come downstairs?"
He hears a hum in reply and walks away from the door.
He gathered the laundry hamper and took downstair. That bathroom housed the washer and drier. He normally didn't do the laundry, so he left the clothes next to his for his own maid to come and do it.
He sat back down at the table, a little tired from doing chores around the room, but satisfied that he was able to help. He sat on his phone, while Ms. Birdie took out the cake to cool. Soon, Penny actually came downstairs, dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and a black shirt. Surprisingly similar to what Quentin was wearing.
She sat down next to him at the kitchen bar, watching Ms. Birdie cook. The maid, once realizing the cake had cooled down, asked, "Do one of you want to help me frost the cake?"
Quentin quickly gets out of his seat, a little too excited to help frost a cake.
And Penny just watched him have fun, smiling a little when he does something wrong or just plain stupid.
***
The rest of the evening was very pleasant. Ms. Birdie cooked an amazing meal and a wonderful dessert. While Penny didn't talk too much, everyone made sure she felt included to the conversation. Neither expected the girl to come down from her bath bouncing off the walls with a huge smile on her face. However, they were just happy that she was downstairs with them and eating dinner.
They all sort of went there own ways, well, two of them did. Ms. Birdie went to wash the dishes and Quentin left to take a phone call from his parents to discuss Thanksgiving plans better. Penelope was left feeling a little lost.
She didn't really want to go back to her bedroom because, like a black hole, it sinks her into nothingness. She liked being around people, it took her mind off of things. It made her forget her past trauma. It made her realized that she isn't a blank slate. It made her feel more human. The truth is that Penny loved people! She feels better being around them, but the fear and anxiety of judgement and disappointment ruin it.
She ultimately decided to go back to her room. When she opened the door, she took a good look around. Before, after her bath, she didn't realize the cleanliness of her room. Now, with her eyes open, she saw clear floors and a nicely made bed. There was only one person in her room while taking a bath: Quentin. Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes. She couldn't believe that someone did that for her. The maid in the past has cleaned her room, but that's because she was being paid. No one paid him to do this. She didn't even ask him.
It was honestly one of the nicest things someone has ever done for her.
She turns out of her room, trying to clean the tears that are fall down her face. Listening closely at his bedroom door, she waits for him to get off the phone. She wipes a few last tears and knocks on the door. He opens it pretty quickly.
Upon seeing her red eyes and hesitant body position, he was worried he did something wrong. However, before he could apologize for God-knows-what, she started speaking in a cracking voice, "Thank you, uh, for cleaning my room. You-you didn't have too, but I really, really appreciate you did."
She tried to control her voice, but it come out in pathetic cracks and tears wanted to leave her eyes. He steps forward, away from the doorway, and embraces her in a hug. She quickly returns, gripping hard around his waist, shoving her head into his neck and shoulder crease. She couldn't help crying, it was like a dam exploded and all her feelings were released.
He didn't know what to do with a young woman crying. He could feel a wet spot growing on his shirt. But he couldn't push her away. He couldn't only hold her tighter. He closed his eyes and leans down so the side of his head is softly resting against the top of hers.
It was a pretty intimate position. One neither has really experienced before. However, in that moment they both knew that they were addicted.
***
He just let her do her thing until she was ready to release her arms. Her sobbing calmed down to a gentle whimper.
Penny's throat afterwards felt like it was crying. It felt swollen and thick from all the nose mucus she swallowed. It was already bad enough that salty tears were soaking his shirt. He surely didn't need snot.
She didn't let go just yet. She said to him in a low whisper, "I'm sorry."
He whisper back, "It's okay, you have nothing to apologize for."
"Still, I'm a little embarrassing for crying over someone cleaning my room." She released her arms and they both took a step away from each other.
"I don't think that was the only reason," He tried to look her in the eyes, but her gaze was solely focused on there shoes. The silence turned a little awkward. Neither wanted to say something and neither wanted to move away. Quentin thought of something instead, "Why don't we watch a movie together upstairs?"
She looks up at him, giving him her signature polite smile, and nods her head.
Quentin wanted nothing more in the world to hold out his hand for her to grab on to, so they could walk together, hand in hand, to the home theater. But, he respected her boundaries and kept his hands to himself.
In the theater, Quentin sat on the side of the couch, vertically. On the other side of the couch, Penny laid down, with her feet perched on Quinn's lap. Neither was really paying attention to the movie. Quentin's mind was focusing on many different thoughts. Sometimes it was on Thanksgiving. Other times, it was on the girl beside him.
Penny was falling asleep.
Eventually, Quentin heard heavy breathing- not snores- escape from her. He gently lifts her off the couch, like he did not too long ago, and brings her to her room. Luckily, she was already wearing clothes comfortable enough for bed. He lowers her slowly on to the bed.
He lightly kisses her forehead and walks away. He couldn't help but look back one more time, before shutting off the light and heading to bed himself.