Ray drove the Ecto-1 in front of the apartment complex; already a crowd of people waiting for the five of them to show up. There were tons of cop cars and a couple of fire trucks. What were they gonna do, spray ghosts with water?
"Hello, New York!" Peter said as he stepped out of the car, Winston following behind him. "Gotta run, got a date with a ghost!" He said as he put on his proton pack.
"Okay, whatever happens, let's be professionals," Peter said.
"I think the only one out of all of us that acts the most unprofessional is you, Peter," Silvia said.
"Hey!" Peter complained. Even the military was there, wow. The five of them stood in front of the building, preparing themselves mentally and emotionally. Dark clouds and lightning formed at the top of the building, scaring everyone down below.
"We might have to put a little overtime in on this one!" Ray shouts to them. As he said that, the sidewalk and concrete started to crack and separate, the concrete falling beneath their feet. The five of them fell into a hole where the concrete used to be, a cop car falling behind them.
"Look out for the car!" Silvia shouted as she covered her head, the rest of them doing the same. Luckily the car came to a stop before it could hit any of them. "Really? Are these spirits trying to kill us before we even got to the fight? That's unfair."
"Is everyone all right?" Ray shouted to them.
"I'm okay," Egon said, trying to climb back up through the rubble. As they all climbed out from under the rubble, the crowd cheered for them.
"I was in no way prepared for that," Ray said.
"Me either," Silvia added.
"The ghosts wanna play rough. Wanna play rough?" Peter said.
"Yeah!" Ray commented enthusiastically. The five of them put their hands together in a circle, Silvia gave Egon a small side smile as their hands touched. They raised their hands in the air joyfully, running off into the apartment shortly after.
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"Where are we?" Ray asked as they all trudged up the stairs that seemed to go on forever.
"It looks like we're in the teens somewhere," Ray replied.
"Well when we get to twenty, tell me. I'm gonna throw up." Peter said, and with that, they continued back up the stairs. Silvia counted until they got to floor nineteen.
"We're almost there guys." Silvia sighed heavily. "I don't think wearing combat boots was the best option for my feet today."
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"Twenty-two, is this it?" Ray asked, looking at the sign saying 'floor 22'.
"Yep," Peter said. They walked to the side and into a hallway that was, pardon my French, a fucking mess.
"Art deco, very nice," Egon commented.
"Where is it?" Ray asked.
"It's at the end of the hall," Peter said, pointing. Once they got to the end of the hall, Peter kicked at a door, it falling and breaking instantly. They walked through the doorway and onto where Dana's apartment was.
"Hey, where do these stairs go?" Ray asks, pointing to some random stairs that appeared out of nowhere.
"They go up," Silvia replied as she walked past them and up the stairs, seeing electricity strike, opening two doors, as if it were a gateway to something. Peter watched in horror as Dana, his would-be girlfriend was electrocuted and then turned into the dog creatures from earlier.
"Okay, so she's a dog," Peter said. They walked further and saw some glass castle thing that had stairs leading up to it, mist covering the ground.
The doors to the glass castle opened, revealing a girl/guy. Silvia couldn't tell.
"It's a girl," Ray said.
"It's Gozer," Egon said.
"I thought Gozer was a man," Winston added.
"It's whatever it wants to be," Egon said.
"Well whatever it is, it's gotta get by us," Peter said.
"Right," Ray said.
"Go get her Ray!" Peter said.
"Chicken," Silvia said to Peter. Ray walked up one of the stairs.
"Gozer the Gozerian?" Ray said, Gozer turning around to face him. "Good evening. As a duly designated representative of the city, county, and state of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return to your place of origin or the nearest convenient parallel dimension."
"That ought to do it, thanks very much Ray," Peter said.
"Did he write that down and prepare his speech before this?" Silvia asked.
"Wouldn't doubt it," Egon said.
"Are you a god?" Gozer asked Ray.
Ray looked back at Peter, who nodded and gave him a thumbs up.
"...No," Ray said.
"Then... die!" Gozer said as they shot lightning off their hands, sending the five of them to fall and tumble backward and back to the concrete part of the apartment.
"Oh shit!" Silvia shouted as she was almost pushed off the edge of the building, Egon and Ray helping her back up.
"Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes!" Winston said as he got back up.
"All right. This chick is toast." Peter said. The five of them stood back up and walked towards the staircase again.
"Got your stick?" Peter asked.
"Holding it." Egon, Silvia, Ray, and Winston replied in unison.
"Heat 'em up!" Peter said, and with that, they switched on the particle throwers.
"Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown," Peter said. They fired the streams at Gozer, but they dodged them and did a frickin backflip in the air, landing behind them back on the concrete.
"Nimble little minx, isn't she?" Peter said.
"We better go full stream," Egon suggested. As they once again aimed their streams at Gozer, Gozer disappeared into thin air without leaving a trace.
"We neutronized it. Do you know what that means? A complete particle reversal." Ray said.
"And we had the tools, we had the talent!" Winston said.
"Ray, this looks extraordinarily bad," Egon said, showing him a tiny device.
"Oh no," Ray said.
"Look out!" Egon shouted to them. Some of the structures on the apartment building started to fall apart, falling and nearby hitting them as they broke off. They hid behind a bench-looking thing so they couldn't be the rubble's targets again.
"Sub-creatures. Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar the Traveler has come. Choose and perish." Gozer said.
"What do you mean choose? We don't understand." Ray said to Gozer.
"Choose the form of the Destructor," Gozer said.
"Oh, I get it. I get it, very cute. Whatever we think of. If we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us, so empty your heads. Don't think of anything, we've only got one shot at this." Peter said to the gang.
"The choice is made," Gozer said. "The Traveler has come."
"Nobody choosed anything!!" Peter shouted.
"Chose, not choosed. Grammar." Silvia corrected him.
"Did you choose anything?" Peter asked Egon.
"No!" Egon said.
"Did you?" Peter asked Winston.
"My mind is totally blank," Winston replied.
"What about you?" He asked Silvia.
"I've got nothing!" Silvia replied.
"I didn't choose anything!" Peter shouted to Gozer. Then they realized: Ray. The gang turned and looked at Ray, who had a sheepish look on his face.
"I couldn't help it. It just popped in there." Ray said.
"What just popped in there?!" Silvia asked frantically.
"I tried to think-"
"Look!!" Egon shouted as he pointed to the roads.
"No, it can't be!" Ray said.
"What is it?" Silvia asked.
"... It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man," Ray said. Silvia facepalmed hard.
"Well, this is lovely," Silvia said sarcastically.
"There's something you don't see every day," Peter said.
"I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft." Ray explained.
"Nice thinking Ray," Peter said.
"We used to roast Stay Puft marshmallows by the fire at Camp Waconda," Ray said, looking as if he were about to cry.
"Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left?" Peter asks him.
"Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought." Egon said as they all watched Mr. Stay Puft walk to the church.
"Oh shit," Winston said.
"Mother pus bucket," Peter said. "Nobody steps on a church in my town!"
"One, two, three, roast him!" Ray said, and they all shot their streams right at the giant marshmallow, who was obviously angry. As the angry marshmallow was set on fire, the gang went to hide again amongst the concrete.
"Funny is going out like this. Killed by a hundred-foot marshmallow man." Ray said.
"We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is a sailor, he's in New York. We get this guy laid we won't have any trouble." Peter said.
"Very funny, Peter," Silvia said, rolling her eyes.
"I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the gate." Egon said.
"How?" Ray asked.
"We'll cross the streams," Egon said.
"Excuse me Egon. You said crossing the streams was bad." Peter said. "You're gonna endanger us. You're gonna endanger our client...the nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog."
"Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive." Egon said.
"I love this plan. I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it." Peter said.
"This job is definitely not worth 11,500 a year," Winston said as they all got up and ran as Mr. Stay Puft's burning hand reached for them.
"See you on the other side Ray," Peter said as they smiled at each other.
"It was nice knowing you-" Egon said to Silvia, but he was interrupted by Silvia hugging him tightly. Egon stiffened up at first but embraced the hug.
Peter fired his stream first, then Ray, Winston, and Egon, and Silvia fired hers last. They brought their streams closer together one by one, and once they were all together, it caused the Gozer glass palace thing to explode, making the whole top of the apartment complex explode. Mr. Stay Puft was now nothing more than marshmallow paste all over New York, covering people and cars everywhere. Peck was walking around the place and looking around when a bunch of marshmallow goo dropped on him and the Ecto-1.
"Winston, are you alright?" Ray asked as he emerged covered in marshmallow.
"Yeah," Winston answered.
"Venkman? Spengler? Scoleri? Where are you guys??" Ray asked. "Oh, Spengler, are you okay?"
"I feel like the floor of a taxicab," Egon replied, helping Silvia up from the ground.
"I think that's the dirtiest thing you've ever said out loud," Silvia groaned to herself.
"Venky!" Ray called out, Peter appearing with little to no marshmallow goo on him.
"Really? You aren't a marshmallow mess??" Silvia said as she flung some of the marshmallow on his face.
"Hey!" Peter said as he wiped it off his eyes. They all walked around the top of the apartment complex, seeing that the dog creatures had now turned to stone.
"It smells like barbecued dog hair," Ray said. Peter looked at him, Ray realizing what he had said. "Oh Venkman, I'm sorry. I just forgot."
"How could you forget? We saw her and Louis transform into dogs." Silvia said. As Peter walked away heartbroken, some of the statues started to fall apart, a hand reaching out. They all scrambled to help tear the statue apart and get Dana out.
"Somebody turn on the lights!" They heard Louis yell from across Dana. Egon and Silvia went and helped Louis out of the statue while Peter helped Dana.
"You'll be alright," Egon said to Louis.
"Boy, the superintendents gonna be pissed," Louis comments, making Silvia chuckle.
"I'm sure he'll understand," Silvia says.
"Are you okay?" Ray asked him.
"Who are you guys?" Louis asks Ray.
"We're the Ghostbusters," Ray answers him. "You know Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual."
"I know," Louis says.
"You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross-rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909," Ray says.
"Felt great," Louis said.
"We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue," Egon said, to which Louis agreed.
"I love this town!" Winston shouted as he pumped his fists into the air, Silvia celebrating with him.
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As the Ghostbusters, Dana, and Louis exited the apartment, the crowd cheered and screamed in excitement. Peter and Dana kissed in front of the crowd, which made them go wild. The crowd then shouted at Egon and Silvia to kiss since they exited the building with linked arms. Peter and Dana turned around to look at Silvia, Peter giving her a 'you lost the bet' look.
"I don't wanna do that unless you give consent or you're comfortable with it and-" Egon rambled on, but Silvia held his face with her hands and kissed him, the crowd cheering and big smiles plastered on their faces, holding up shirts with the Ghostbusters logo on it. Egon didn't know how to react, so he just went with it and kissed her back. When they parted, Egons face was like a tomato.
"Sorry, that was a bit sudden," Silvia said.
"It's okay. I've, uh, I don't know how to put this but-" Egon started.
"He's liked you for a while now!" Ray shouted at the two.
"If I'm being honest, I have too. I don't think I've expressed this as much as I should have, but I care about you." Silvia says giving him another tight hug.
"Yes we get it you two love each other, now let's go back and get this marshmallow off," Winston said as he hugged Silvia and Egon. They all piled into the Ecto-1, driving back to headquarters.
I can't wait to spill all this tea to Janine. Silvia thinks to herself as she and Egon hold hands during the car ride back.
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In case you were wondering: are they dating now?, are they gonna remain friends even tho they kissed?, the answer is: THEY'RE DATING I JUST DIDN'T MAKE IT CLEAR I'M SORRY!!
By the way, I will be writing this book into Ghostbusters 2 and (maybe) into GB: Afterlife. I might not do afterlife tho, don't get me wrong I love the movie, but I don't feel like writing the beginning of the movie where (HUGE SPOILER AHEAD PROCEED WITH CAUTIONâ ï¸) Egon dies. I don't like writing out parts of a book where the main character dies, that's just me.
But I'm writing this into Ghostbusters 2, even tho it's not given as much love as the 1st movie (GB 2 is one of my favorite movie sequels to ever exist).
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.