Me and Claudia are shitting ourselves as we make our way to Ms. Reed's health room during lunch. Even though I'm the one who tried out and not Claudia, we're practically the same person. Whatever one person feels, the other does as well.
Nothing really happened in gym today. The activity I picked was one of the activities Ms. Reed unfortunately wasn't teaching. I thought it was. I guess I'll just have to wait another two or three weeks.
"For God's Sake stop taking such baby steps. Stop being a pussy. The quicker you get to her fucking room, the quicker all of this will be over."
I intentionally slap Claudia hard. No way this rat has the audacity to speak the truth.
I'm kidding she's not a rat. Although sometimes she can be.
She was right though. I am walking slower because I'm scared. I know I'm good but maybe she just cut me from the team because she fucking hates me.
"Well damn." We're right in front of Ms. Reed's door and these two girls just came out of there crying.
I'm fucked.
"Go go go." Claudia whispers to me.
She's a great friend. I can't lie. She's the only person in this hell hole world I can be vulnerable around.
I open the door to Ms. Reed's room and I see her reading a book that looks to be Heartstopper.
Okay Ms. Bodacious...I see you gay ally!
"Hello Ms. Reed"
I may have accidentally startled Ms. Reed. It's okay, let me be the scarier person for once. She clears her throat when she sees I almost caught her guilty pleasure. Reading gay books.
But I already caught her. So maybe I can blackmail her in the future.
"What do you want, Oliver?"
"Uhmm, to see if I made the team??"
"Oh right. Right." She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. What else would she think I'm here for?
"Congratulations Oliver. You unanimously made the team."
I'm trying my best to act nonchalant. Ms. Reed is in love with me.
Just kidding. Although I wish I wasn't. Holy shit! Is this turning into a crush?!
"Thanks Ms. Reed. I'll see you whenever the first practice is. That may be a lie since the next time I see you will probably be tomorrow in gym." I wave goodbye to Ms. Reed who has her normal stern face on.
"Wait Oliver." Is she talking to me?
I turn around and look at her but I don't say anything to her. A once in a lifetime moment just happening because Ms. Reed is now looking at me. Her eyes lingering.
"I'm sorry about the other day. You're actually one of the best volleyball players I've ever fucking seen. Without a doubt you're the best player on the team. It's no shock you're going to be in the starting 6."
I smile.
So she can curse and I can't? This hypocrisy of this woman.
"Thanks Ms. Reed. I appreciate that."
I feel like she has more to say because I see her hesitate and open her mouth but nothing comes out. No offense to Ms. Reed but I have other things to do, like become big back at lunch, so I exit her room and go back out to where Claudia is.
I leave the room and I see Claudia giving me one of her many famous looks.
"Just fucking say whatever you have to say Clauds."
"You were in there for a suspiciously long amount of time." Clauds pauses for a minute but then I see her eyes grow wide and jaw drop. "Omg do you have a crush on her?!"
"Fuck man are you crazy?! She's a teacher, so no!"
Maybe.
Claudia side eyes me suspiciously and I can tell she doesn't believe a single word that I have said just now.
"Anyways, so did you make the team?"
I nod my head and she pulls me into a hug, congratulating me.
...
It's the end of the day and I see Ms. Reed get into her white BMW. I wonder about her personal life. Teachers don't make a great salary and they definitely don't make enough to buy a $52K BMW Coupe.
I would know. I searched up her car model.
She has her airpods in and is like always, sending a voice message to someone. I don't get the point of having airpods in if you're just going to bring your phone speaker to your lips.
I mean she's a teacher after all. She should know better.
Maybe that's why she's a gym teacher then.
I completely forget about me having to sit on my bike because I am more captivated by Ms. Reed getting into her car. The bike ride home from school could wait.
She gets into her car and closes the door and now suddenly I can't see her because of her dark tinted car windows.
Those could be very useful for later.
I just came back from school and I realize I have a lot to think about. I'm starting to think that my feelings towards Ms. Reed aren't things I should be feeling. It's time for me to accept I have a full blown crush on her.
I can't recall the last time I actually liked a person. I don't even know why I like Ms. Reed. She's gorgeous I will admit but she's an absolute bitch. Yet somehow she makes me smile. Her dark tone lights up any room.
To me atleast.
It's just a crush though. A little crush has never hurt anyone.
I'm feeling the need to tell my squad or just Claudia but the way that Claudia reacted before just doesn't sit well with me. Oh and God forbid Ashley ever found out about this. Yea then my life is fucked.
Out of nowhere my dad pops into my room.
"Jesus Christ dad you scared the living shit out of me."
My dad is standing in my doorway and giving me one of his cheeky little gay grins. Thankfully though he doesn't come in any further.
"Well then maybe next time you shouldn't just leave your door wide open. Thank God I didn't run into you doing something worse."
My dad laughs while I lean my head back on my pillow, groaning.
"God dad why do you have to say shit like that?! Why are you home anyways?"
God didn't choose my side today because now I am watching my father quickly approach his way towards me. And now he's sitting on my bed. Great. He puts his hand on the lower of my leg.
"I called out. With all your sports about to run up again, I wanted to call out from work today so I can spend it with you. Who knows when the next time we're going to have a time when its just you and me. You're going to leave me and now I'm just going to be alone while your father is on the other side of the country."
Ugh. I hate how guilty this man makes me feel.
"You're such a manipulator dad. You know you can always come to my games and see me whenever. Now don't you make me feel sorry."
"I'm not doing anything wrong!" Me and my dad laugh. "Please go to USC. It's just a few hours away. I of course won't force you to go anywhere you don't want to but I think it will have a lot of great benefits for both you and me. And your father of course."
I still don't know where I want to commit. I've narrowed it down to 5 schools. Uni of Michigan, USC (Southern California), Tennessee, UConn, and Stanford.
UConn has been my dream school since I could remember. But its on the other side of the country and I'm not going to lie, being that far away from my dads is really terrifying. But I have to do what's best for me not what's best for them.
"Maybe."
And besides, if I commit to USC, that also means I'm closer to Ms. Reed.