a/n: here's a long one, my loves !! ENJOY ð
* * *
"You can't like coffee more than tea."
"And why not?"
"Because...you're British. That's like...against your culture."
"That's very stereotypical of you to say, darling." Harry looks at me with a disappointed expression.
"But can you blame me?" I say, shrugging, handing him his mug of coffee. "I've been to London one time. For all I know, all British people are like "Pip pip cheerio, I'd love a cup o' tea love. Then I'd love to bicker about that bloody wanker Harry. He's lit-rally so mad"," I mock in a British accent.
"But you've been living with a Brit for a few weeks now," he points out, "Have I not taught you anything?"
"You may be British, but I don't think you count. You live in California half the time, so you aren't a full-time Brit."
"So what, I'm I just a bloody wanker to you?" Harry asks, pretending to be hurt. "Is that all?"
"Yes," I joke, taking a step closer to him. I cup his cheeks in my hand, looking him directly in the eyes. "But you're my bloody wanker."
Harry smiles, his dimples imploding under the palms of my hands. He leans his head forward, placing a quick and gently kiss onto the tip of my nose.
"I wouldn't want to be anyone else's," he tells me softly.
The coffee machine beeps, signaling that it was done brewing. I step away from Harry, turning my attention to the coffee machine.
"Would you mind getting mugs? They're in that cupboard right there."
"This one?" He asks, gesturing to the same one I pointed to before. I nod and he opens it up, removing two clear glass mugs from the shelf inside.
"And two plastic cups, please. The tall ones on the shelf just below the mugs."
Harry sets the two glasses down on the counter in front of him, retrieving two plastic cups from the cabinet as well. But after getting everything I'd asked, he stands there, his back still facing me. A puzzled look creeps across my face as he reaches up, pulling another mug, this one white, off the shelf.
"Well, this is ironic," he says, still failing to turn around.
"What is?" I ask, still confused.
Finally, he turns around to face me, turning around the cup as well. My jaw drops as I read the wording on the front of a mug I was given as a gift for Christmas ages ago.
"I haven't used that in years," I say, feeling nostalgic. "I forgot I had that."
"Then why was it at the front?" He asks, the corner of his lip tilting up.
"I don't know." I shrug, truly clueless. "Jess probably used it or something."
"Hm, okay," he says bluntly. It was obvious he didn't believe me, even though I was telling the truth.
"You actually think if I had that mug, I would just leave it lying around for you to see?" I ask, being realistic. "Do you think I like embarrassing myself?"
"Perhaps you're doing it for my narcissism," he suggests, shrugging. He sets the mug back where he found it, now picking up the other two mugs he'd opened the cabinet for in the first place.
"Harry, everyone on the entire planet knows you're the furthest thing from narcissistic."
"You don't know that," he says, "I could be a total sociopath and you would never know."
"I'll take my chances," I whisper, shooting him a wink.
With an amused smirk on his face, he hands me both the mugs and plastic cups I'd asked for initially. I take them from him, returning my attention to the coffee machine. I take the time to now making Harry and I both cups of coffee so we would have enough energy to pull our all-nighter. I could probably manage to stay awake the whole time without caffeine, but it didn't hurt to give myself a little boost. I wanted to win Harry and I's bet, after all.
"Now I usually take my coffee pretty plain... I will usually just add sugar and call it a day," I tell Harry, pouring equal amounts into both plastic cups. "But Jess loves all the extra stuff...like fancy flavored creamers."
After I finished pouring, I set the coffee pot back down and make my way over to the fridge, opening the door.
"Jess is the literal opposite. She loves lattes and all kinds of crazy concoctions. So, in an attempt to help her save a little money," I say, my eyes searching the shelves for what I needed specifically. I spot it, quickly grabbing it off the shelf. "I made her buy exactly what she liked."
A while back, I forced Jess to buy all the ingredients to make her own coffee after she developed a Starbucks obsession. It had gotten to the point where it seemed impossible for her to go a single day without buying a caramel cold brew with almond milk. Not only was it draining her bank account, but it made her look basic as hell when she would post it on her Snapchat story every morning before work saying something like "Omg someone stops me" or "Coffee first". And I wasn't too thrilled to be associated with someone like that.
"But her problem was that she didn't know how to make it," I continue, walking back over to the little coffee station of my kitchen. "And luckily for her, I worked part-time as a barista in college so I knew how to whip up something similar to what she ordered every day."
I crouch down and open the cabinet below where the coffee machine sat. This was where we kept our pumpable artificial flavors. Very extra, I know, but it's better than Jess spending $6 on a coffee every morning.
I made pretty bomb cold brews if I do say so myself.
* * *
"Whatcha writing?" I ask, plopping down next to Harry on my bed, where he stared down at his phone.
Harry tilts his phone away from my view. He smiles at me, obviously trying to distract from the fact that he was hiding his phone from me.
"A poem," he says simply, locking his phone and setting it off to the side.
"What about?" I ask, trying to disguise my hurt that he was suddenly being secretive.
"Just things I've found intriguing lately," He shrugs, "I've actually been writing one every dayâwell, not just poems...I've been writing something every day."
"Have you always done this?"
"Not every day. It's one of my new year's resolutions...to write something every day. I've never really been one to stick to those damned goals, but I wanted to try this year. And I think this is something I think will be good for me and something I could force myself to get into the habit of doing," he tells me passionately. "But to make it easier on myself, I've only set three goals for myself."
"Which are...?"
"Well, I really want to experience more and just...live. I mean, I'm going on tour in Aprilâwhich I'm so fucking excited for. So I really want to just go out and experience more in the places I haven't. I go to so many cool places, but don't really get to the chance to take a look around...I just perform a show. But now I want to. And I think part of that has come from being able to explore around here a little." He smiles as he talks so passionately. "I've been thinking like, if there's so much I haven't seen here, then there must be so much more in other places that I have yet to see. And I know I won't be able to see everything, I just want to see more...you know?"
"I do know," I say understandingly. I loved listening to him talk, especially when it's something he's interested in or passionate about. The way his face lights up as he rambles is so beyond fascinating...it's indescribable. "You said you made three...what's the other one?"
"I want to stop eating meat," Harry says, shrugging.
"Oh can't relate." I widen my eyes, shaking my head. "I could never."
"And why do you say that?" He asks, a smirk on his face. "Why don't you think you could do it?"
"I love burgers too much." I shake my head. My mouth waters at the thought of a big, greasy cheeseburger with french fries.
"Have you ever tried a veggie burger?"
"I have," I say. "It's just not the same."
"I bet you could do it if you really tried. That is if you wanted to try. But I'm getting the impression that you wouldn't want to."
"Probably not." I laugh.
"Well," He sighs, "I guess when we go on dinner dates I'll just have to get sushi or something. I promise I won't drag you to too many vegetarian restaurants."
"There aren't many around here," I inform him, "Which honestly makes sense because everyone around here are hardcore meat-eaters."
Harry chuckles, looking down. "I didn't necessarily mean here."
I furrow my eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know." He shrugs. "It could mean anything really."
"Harry Edward Styles," I scold, "You can be mysterious and say things that only you know the meaning of with your fans all you want, but I hate trying to figure things out. So can you please just tell me what you mean." I laugh nervously, hoping I didn't come off as too straight forward.
As charming as it was, I wasn't the biggest fan of when Harry said things that he knew I wouldn't understandâand it bothered me that was the reason he said them.
"Alright, my bad." He chuckles. "I want you to come to California with me."
My eyes widen. "W-What?"
"Yeah." He shrugs. "If you need me to, I could pay rent this upcoming month for you and Jess so you can take some more time off work..."
"Harry," I cut him off, swallowing harshly.
The time had come. I knew it would, but deep down I was wishing it wouldn't.
I had to tell him I quit my job.
"What is it?" He asks, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. I stare down at it, butterflies swarming inside me.
"I just..." I grab his hand slowly, looking up at him. I take a deep breath. "Linda was being such a bitch earlier and she told me that if I walked out to come get you, I could say goodbye to my job."
"Wait," Harry shakes his head, sitting up straight, "but you came and picked me up."
I bite down on my lip, nervous to say anything else. There wasn't much to say though. I knew he understood what had happened, he must have not wanted to say it out loud.
"So you...got fired? Because of me?" He asks, his voice breaking.
I quickly snap my head up, my eyes landing on his. They were glossy and fearful, and I could see the guilt in his eyes. He had nothing to feel guilty about...so it shattered my heart knowing that he thought it was his fault.
"No," I say quickly but softly, cupping his cheeks in my hands, rubbing the tops of his cheekbones gently. "It wasn't your fault." I give him a sympathetic look. "I wasn't even fired actually. I quit."
"You...you quit?" His eyes widen. "Why?"
"I mean, I was fed up with Linda's bullshit anyway. But when she was talking shit on you, it sent me over the edge and I was done," I tell him the truth.
"I know I should be flattered that you chose to come save me, even if it meant losing your job," he says, with a soft, but obviously forced smile. "But I can't help but feel guilty. Like it's my fault you don't have a jobâwhether you quit or were fired."
"Yeah, I get that," I say with a nod. "But I think me quitting had to do with a lot more than just bringing you gas. She always treats me like shit and I-"
"You deserve better than that," Harry cuts me off firmly, finishing my sentence for me. I smile down at my hands, which were fumbling with each other.
I obviously should've believed it, but it was just something I had only told myself. I never heard someone said it to me.
But now I was hearing Harry say it. And I think it meant more coming from him than anyone else.
"That's what I was thinking," I say sheepishly. "It's just nice to hear someone else say it."
"So what can I do?" Harry asks after a moment of silence. "Do you and Jess need help with rent? I can buy food. Tell me what you need and I'll get it for you."
"You," I place my hand under his chin, "can just sit back and look pretty. I just need to find another salon."
"You could always come to California with me," he suggests once again. "You know Harris Reed?" I nod in response. "Well they have have been looking for someone to do their nails for a while, and I'm sure I could find a million others whose nails you could do."
"Harry."
"You could probably be so successful you could open up your own salon. And I will come in and get my nails done and get pedicures and then I could go around bragging about how my girlfriend is a fucking nail goddess. And then everyone will see my nails and then they'll want theirs done by you. Then bam, you have a business."
"I don't think that's how it works."
"It could be." He shrugs. "I was thinking about studying business if I didn't make it on the X Factor."
"You're a businessman now."
"Far from, actually," he corrects me. "I have people who do it for me. I'm mostly just the pretty face of the operation. My ideas get so morphed and manipulated that sometimes it's barely what I had in mind at all."
"I'm sorry," I say.
"Don't be. You have no reason to." He clears his throat. "So about California..."
"I'll sleep on it," I tell him.
"Is that you saying you're going to sleep?" He raises an eyebrow, smirking.
"You aren't that lucky, Styles."
* * *
"Harry," I say out of the blue, both of us laying lazily on my bed. We turned on a movie in an attempt to keep ourselves busy while we tried to stay awake.
"Lili," he says back, in the same tone as me.
"You know how you gave me your phone password?"
"No I don't," he jokes, shaking his head. I roll my eyes at him. "Did I?"
"Harry," I scold.
"Sorry." He chuckles. "Anyways, what about it?"
Then, just as I opened my mouth to speak, Harry spoke once again, back at it with his jokes.
"Oh no!" He gasps loudly and obnoxiously. "You didn't leak Medicine, did you?"
"No."
"Anna?"
"Not that either."
"The Two Ghosts music video?"
"There's a Two Ghosts music video?!"
"Anyways, what about my password?" He changed the subject, skipping past what he said as if he didn't just say it.
I shake my head, ridding my brain of all the new questions that had just popped up.
"Uh anyways," I say before clearing my throat, "I think it's only right that you know mine. I think it's kind of unfair that I know yours and you don't know mine. It feels secretive and I don't like that."
"Lili, you don't have to-"
"No, I want to," I cut him off. "I want us to have a mutual trust, and in order to do that, I think you should know it. That way, you know I don't have anything to hide."
"Seriously, I-"
"It's 7231 right now," I don't give him a chance to finish his sentence, "but I change it a lot. I'll let you know when I do."
"I'm flattered," Harry says, "really. But I don't need your phone password to trust you." He chuckles. "I think of trust as a thing people are given, then once it's lost, it needs to be earned back. I trust people until they give me a reason not to."
"You're daring."
"Not even close. I may trust my gut, but I'm constantly terrified of being let down," he admits, looking down. "But I want to be given the benefit of the doubt, so I do the same for others."
"I have a hard time trusting people," I admit to him.
"And why's that?" He lays back, staring up at the ceiling, paying no attention to the movie at all.
"I don't know," I say, furrowing my eyebrows in thought. "It's not that I've really been let down or anything. I guess I'm just the opposite of you. I don't give people my trust automatically, they have to earn it. There aren't very many people either...that have my full trust I mean."
"What is it that those special people do to gain your trust?"
"That's something I haven't been able to pinpoint either...I don't really know. I've never been able to really tell what it is that those people have. I'm still trying to figure that out."
"Well," he says, letting out a sigh, "when you figure it out, let me know. I'd love to be on 'Lili's Trust List'."
"Who says you're not already on it?" I smirk.
"Am I?" His face lights up.
"Not quite yet."
"Well," he says again, but this time, his hand moving to my thigh, dragging it up ever so gently.
The feeling of his hand on my leg sends electricity through me. One simple touch and I'm weak for him. I grab his hand and give it a gentle squeeze, looking up at him.
"Why are you smiling?" I say, and immediately I feel myself getting flustered.
"Nothing, you're just beautiful," I hear in return. My cheeks flush, just as they always do.
Snuggling further into against his chest, I hear a sigh and I look up to him, his hand never leaving mine.
Sitting up, I let go of his hand, and I hear another sigh, except this time it's a gloomy sigh.
"What's wrong Harry?" I question, obviously worried why he sighed that way.
"There's nothing wrong Lili," he says and giving me a smile. I run my fingers through his hair.
"You can tell me anything you know."
"I know that," he says.
Getting closer to him, I stare into his eyes, and occasionally at his lips. His perfect lips, that always bring a smile to my face whenever they curve up into a smile of his own.
Slowly bringing my lips to his, my breath quickens just as our lips connect, I feel the electricity once more. The kiss is soft, but still sends passion through me. My fingers are still in his hair caressing it. I deepen the kiss, this time no doubt about what I want to do.
I climb on top of him, straddling his waist. His hands place themselves on my back, supporting me.
Once I need to take a breath, I take his shirt off, no longer going slow or wasting my time. The pace of things was quickening, and I honestly wasn't complaining.
Harry pulls away from our kids, a puzzled look in his face.
"What are you doing?" He asks, brows furrowed.
"You trust me, right?" I ask, knowing exactly what his answer would be.
He nods, and I continue my actions. I connect my lips to his once again and his hands travel down to the hem of my shirt, gripping it, signaling he wanted it off. We pull away so he could slide my shirt up and over my head.
After I was left in my bra, our lips reconnected and I immediately ran my tongue along his bottom lip, tasting the minty lip balm I had watched him put on a few minutes ago. He allows me access and our tongues dance for a few moments.
My hands push against his chest, his back falling softly onto the bed. A soft pant fell from his lips as his head hits the pillow.
I disconnect my lips from him, leaving them red and swollen. I smile in satisfaction as I look down at him, a baffled look on his face as if he was taken back.
He took this time as his opportunity to flip us over so he was now hovering over me.
"You should know by now I'm the dominant one," Harry whispers, the corner of his mouth curving.
He brushes stray hairs away from my face, tucking them behind my ear as he stares down at me. I felt almost intimidated but in a good way.
His head dips down, his lips immediately attaching to my neck, just under my jawline. I let out a breathy moan, excitement, and anticipation pumping heavily through my veins.
"You like that, don't you?" He tilts his head to the side, watching as I try desperately not to squirm underneath him.
His finger trails slowly up my stomach, stopping at my bra. He draws small circles over my nipple, never breaking eye contact with me. Harry hums as he watches my mouth fall open.
"Fuck," he mutters and stops, causing my brows to furrow.
His hands now reach behind my back to unclip my bra, the straps falling down my arms before he pulls it the rest of the way down, discarding it somewhere in the room.
His hips rested between my legs, and I could feel him hardening against me. He places his hands on either side of my head, grinding himself against me ever so slightly.
The feeling of him against me sent sparks flying through my body. And I knew he felt the same way, because a soft groan left his lips. He tilts his head back, looking up at the ceiling.
"Harry," I whine, not able to contain myself any longer. He looks down at me, his eyes lazy. I swallow harshly. "I want you."
A smirk appears over his lips once more, and with that, he sits himself up. His fingers hook around both my soft sleep shorts and underwear, dragging them down my legs to get rid of them. I felt so bare, completely naked in front of him. But Harry didn't seem to mind, all he managed to do was stare.
He reaches over into the drawer of the nightstand on his side of the bed. He returns to me with a small shiny-blue square, placing it between his teeth.
He pulls down his sweats, along with his underwear, obviously not wanting to waste any time.
"How come you never told me you kept those in there?" I ask as I watch him rip open the packaging, pulling a condom out.
He doesn't respond. Instead, he rolls it down his long dick, still staring into my soul.
"You're going to have to keep it quiet," Harry tells me. "You don't want to wake Jess."
"Okay." I nod vigorously.
He now moves so he's hovering over me once more. His tip lines up with my entrance, and his finger lightly strokes my bicep.
"Can I?" He asks, searching my eyes. His finger reaches down, collecting arousal from my dripping heat, making sure it was coated everywhere.
"Of course," I whisper.
And with that, he slowly pushes himself inside, a gasp immediately leaving my lips.
* * *
I yawn as my eyes flutter open and shut as I struggle to stay awake. I finally let them close, hoping to just let them rest for a moment.
"Are you getting tired already?" Harry asks, combing my hair with his fingers. I could clearly hear the smirk in his voice. "It's only 3, my love."
"I'm not sleeping," I defend quickly, shaking my head vigorously, "I'm just...resting my eyes."
"Really?" His fingers brush lightly over my forehead as he sweeps my front hairs away from my face. "Because it looks like you're about to fall asleep."
"I won't," I tell him confidently. I always have no problem staying awake, so I wasn't sure why I was feeling so tired all of a sudden.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand next to me, but I felt no need to check it.
"Are you going to get that?" Harry asks.
"No. Everyone I want to talk to is here right now."
"But it's late," he says in a weary voice, "Do you think it's important?"
"No one should be texting me at this hour."
"I guess you're right." I feel his shoulders shrug underneath me and that was the end of that conversation.
A few minutes pass and I feel myself melt into my bed, my body relaxing completely, feeling almost as if I had been put into a deep state of trance.
"I think this means you owe me a date," Harry whispers into my ear.
I would've argued, but I was just too tired to talk.
* * *
I wake up and mentally curse myself for falling asleep before Harry. Now I would have to plan our next date and had absolutely no idea what he'd even want to do.
I look around the room until I eventually see Harry, throwing a shirt over his head and pulling it down the rest of his torso. Letting out an exaggerated sigh, I reach over to grab my phone off the nightstand. I check it, seeing I didn't get any notifications last night, which confused me, considering I could've sworn I heard it buzz.
"Oh, you're awake," Harry says, turning around.
"Sure am," I say as I unlock my phone.
"Lili," Harry says in a serious tone, causing me to look up from my phone to listen to what he had to say. He clears his throat and fumbles with his fingers, seemingly nervous about something.
"Yeah?"
"Are you...uh..."
He rocks back and forth on his toes. He takes a deep breath, looking up and shutting his eyes before he regains the composure to talk to me.
"W-Why are you still talking to Noah?"
* * *
a/n: a small portion of this was written by IminlovewithHeroF !!