Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Useless Birth Father

Emperor Xianzong had hardly stepped through the door when he saw his daughter pick up his beloved consort from her seat and fling her out the window like a dead dog. He was stunned by the sight. Can someone explain what’s going on?

As Consort Zhao flew out the window, she spotted two sparrows fly past her body before soundlessly blacking out. Soon enough, there was the heavy splash of a body hitting the waters below. After a moment of silence, cries of alarm rose from outside the building.

“Ah, Consort Zhao fell into the water!”

“Ahhh, save her!”

“Ahhhhhh, Consort Zhao sank to the very bottom!”

By the time Emperor Xianzong recovered his senses, he’d reached the window in three steps to stare at the pond below, shuddering as he wondered what he’d just witnessed. Yu Xiaoxiao’s brows were creased with vexation as she realized she’d failed. She forgot that the pond was right outside when she tossed Consort Zhao out.

“Quickly,” Emperor Xianzong shouted from the window. “Hurry and go down with Zhen!”

“You want to go downstairs?” Yu Xiaoxiao echoed. Before any of the guards or eunuchs could react, Yu Xiaoxiao had reached the emperor’s side.

“Zhen wants to go down and see my beloved consort, ah!” Xianzong replied.

“Sure, I’ll take you downstairs,” Yu Xiaoxiao said before grabbing his collar. Then she jumped out the half-open window with her imperial father in tow.

“……” said the crowd by the window.

By the time Xiaozong landed with both feet on the ground, a few eunuchs had managed to drag Consort Zhao out of the pond. The emperor was too absorbed with Consort Zhao to think about himself. He demanded loudly, “How is she doing?!”

Before the eunuchs could reply, Yu Xiaoxiao said, “She’s not dead.”

“Then why is she foaming at the mouth?” Xiaozong asked.

Soldiers of the apocalypse were all excellent at treating external injuries. Not all doctors could fight, after all, so it was more likely that soldiers learned how to treat themselves. As Yu Xiaoxiao studied Consort Zhao’s foaming mouth, she felt a little conflicted. There were no external injuries on Consort Zhao’s bodies, so this must be an internal affliction. After some thought, she guessed, “Epilepsy?”

The eunuchs helping Consort Zhao up wanted to shout at the father and daughter pair. The woman had been frightened out of her wits, that’s all! Couldn’t they see her trembling? What kind of father and daughter were this? After almost flinging a woman to death, they still had the time to chat while she was foaming at the mouth with fear? Was it that hard to call for an imperial physician?

“Y-Your Majesty,” the head eunuch rushed down loyally from the third floor to appear in front of Xiaozong. His face was expressionless as he asked, “Are you alright?”

Xiaozong grew incensed. “How could anything be wrong with Zhen? It’s Consort Zhao who’s in trouble right now!”

The head eunuch looked up at the building behind them. Xiaozong gave a start, then followed the eunuch’s gaze. He suddenly exclaimed, “Eh? How did Zhen get down here?”

The eunuch carefully pointed a finger at Yu Xiaoxiao. Xiaozong’s brain, which was filled with nothing but eating, drinking, and being merry, finally remembered what had happened. His own daughter had jumped off a building with him!

“That’s impossible,” he muttered to himself. He must have got out of the wrong side of the bed today.

There was no sound to be heard for a hundred meters around Script Viewing Tower. Everyone wore wooden expressions as they looked stiffly at Princess Linglong. Leaping off a building with the emperor for fun? How much guts does she have?

“Is the princess sick of living?” a guard whispered to his companion from a shadowy corner.

The companion, who was good at grasping the main points of a conversation, shot back, “When did she learn martial arts?” Even guards like them didn’t have enough time to stop her. Had Her Royal Highness suddenly morphed into a top level expert?

“I heard that the princess fell ill for a while because of esteemed empress’s death.”

So after getting sick, she turned into a martial arts expert? The guard looked at his stupid companion without a word. If that’s true, then we should all get sick instead of working so hard to perfect our skills.

“You dragged Zhen with you to jump out of the building?” Xiaozong asked beneath the gazes of everyone present.

Yu Xiaoxiao nodded.

“What were you thinking?” he asked.

“It’s faster this way,” Yu Xiaoxiao replied.

“What nonsense!”

“I never tell lies.” This was the truth. Yu Xiaoxiao hadn’t tricked anyone. Zombies didn’t even know human speech, so who would she lie to? Other humans like herself? Don’t be a fool. With the species almost doomed to extinction in her world, what kind of idiot would waste their time on infighting?

When Xiaozong thought of his narrow brush with death, cold sweat broke out on his body. He pointed at Yu Linglong and cried, “Someone, come!”

Everyone held their breaths. His Majesty was going to kill his daughter. Yu Xiaoxiao couldn’t sense the tension in the air at all, and pointed at Consort Zhao instead. “What are you going to do about your mistress?”

Mistress? Xiaozong’s finger shook as he continued to point at his daughter. “Mistress? You say she’s Zhen’s mistress?”

“What is she, then?”

“She’s Zhen’s beloved consort!”

“Isn’t a consort a mistress?” Yu Xiaoxiao was a little mad. Was he bullying her for being ignorant just because she came from an apocalyptic world?

“Take her into custody for Zhen!” Xiaozong roared.

Yu Xiaoxiao sighed. As long as the father had some IQ and merits to him, the daughter wouldn’t deviate much from the source. It could only be said that the cruel female emperor had a tragic ending because her birth father was so useless.