It's been a year since that day her Jasmines and Honey scent filled my brain and intoxicated my senses. I've never felt so electric and filled with purpose. It was only us that day; I finally noticed her big brown eyes that looked like chocolate pools I could swim in forever, those full lips I wanted to nibble and peck all day, and the way her curves ate that checkered dress she wore. She made me feel like a man. She was the one to be mine to protect and love for eternity. My Jadah.
I gave myself heartache and an erection.
I sometimes walk over to Lucas's house when I need to clear my head and wander to her room to get my fix; just to feel like everything's right in the world, and that that's our room. I like to think she's just out grabbing groceries or doing whatever girls do and'll be back later to cook for us and tell me about her day. I took her flannel dress as a memoir.
Ever since I marked my "mate", life's gone to shit. The burning accusatory stares I feel as I walk around the pack house, and the disgust oscillating through me as I keep the show going. I'm living a lie but it's all for the people I tell myself.
I wonder if Jadah loves kids...
I've been feeling perturbed with this rogue issue, they've been sighted around these parts more than usual and banding together which, for rogues is unusual. To top it off, my wolf abandoned me around the time I need him most, the ties between us have been severed; I can't shift. I was warned but I was too pig headed to listen and take heed to his warnings. I just couldn't tell my parents, my pride wouldn't let me own up to my wrongs and admit I needed to fix myself. He's gone now and I have to deal with the consequences.
I can't lose this. I've lost my mate and my wolf. It's the only thing left to connect me to the pack or else I'll have to be human and leave the pack.
What Alpha can't shift?
I watch from the side lines as my pack trains and run around in wolf form without me, giving me the pitied glances because I can't join.
They'd break me at this rate.
The only wolf attribute I still have and hold dear to my heart is my alpha tone. I use it when necessary because it's slowly fading away, and if I use it too much it lowers an octave. Pretty soon it'll be completely gone.
My beta Lucas runs and is in charge of pack activities, while I do the paper work. We're a team and we both do our part to keep the pack running efficiently. If I didn't have him I don't know where I'd be. I would never get anything done.
I feel like a pile of old thread diminished from a once cashmere sweater. I thought I did everyone a favor but I lost myself.
I see the aftermath of my carelessness, of my pride, of my ignorance. I put Jadah through so much and I can only pray to the heavens that she can feel my remorse through our bond and come home wherever she is. She's the other half that I can't live with out.
I locked myself in my room, the darkness surrounding me, comforting me as I took a big inhale of Jadahs' scent letting it paint bright colours in my mind. I exhaled letting the colours fade away. A knock on my door interrupted me,
"You okay in there?" I heard Kim ask from the other side of the door."It's been three whole days since we-I've seen you." She whined.
Opening my eyes I sighed heavily sitting up, placing Jadahs' dress on my head."Yeah I'm fine."And with a reluctant sigh she left me be, her heels clicking away from my room until I heard her no more.
I closed my eyes again and fell back on my bed, letting myself drift into Jadah.
I then heard a blood curdling scream that threw goosebumps over my body. Scrambling from my bed I raced to the window.
I smelt it before I saw it. Blood. It started covering the lawn by the gallons, the bodies of my pack members started dropping over the lawn, there was a war on my land; battered wolves versus the healthy members of my pack.
I ran out out my room practically jumping down the flight of steps losing my footing, in a corner I saw Kim. My eyes shot out their sockets,
"Why didn't you get everyone inside!" I yelled pulling on some shoes.
"A few martyrs on the frontline will make them go away! Let Lucas handle this, you'll get yourself killed if you go out there!" I looked down at her in disgust.
She saved herself and watched innocent people, my people, even kids! Get slaughtered out there! I ran out the front door and saw the wolves from my pack fighting off the rogues, barley succeeding.
My mind went staticky as I racked my brain for a plan,
I can't shift, I can't fight wolves without my wolf so what can I do?
I came to when I saw a little girl running as fast as her legs would take her, to find some cover. Without a second thought I ran to save her. I pumped my legs as fast as they could go until I had the girl in my arms.
"It's just me." I cooed after watching her eyes nearly roll into her head,"We need to find safety ok?" I asked walking us to the house, carefully moving us through the chaos.
"M-m-mommy s-said run away so I ran b-ut she was attacked a-after." She cried looking at me knowing what had happened to her parents. My heart ached for her.
I glided through the front door slamming it shut. I looked around and saw some of my battered pack, this with enough strength pulled those too wounded to move into the house. Kim stayed crouched in the corner. I couldn't concern myself with her so I headed over to one of the packs nanny's and carried Kelsey.
"Betty this is Kelsey, Kelsey this is Betty." I sat Kelsey down and gently nudged her her over. Kelsey gave a small wave and Betty returned it with a welcoming smile.
"Come on child, come sit with the others." I heard from behind me as I briskly walked back to the doors. I felt Kelseys eyes burning my back as she longed for me to stay.
I opened the front doors and saw some wolves retreating into the forest, all bloodied and battered. I was proud until I saw half of my pack lying wounded and some dead on the ground. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.
If only I was a better mate I could have prevented this.
"Alpha Malachi we have to talk." I heard Lucas call as he ran up the porch putting on some shorts.
"What is it Lucas?" I asked as we walked up to my office.
I sat in my leather chair, behind my desk, and waited for him sit down. Sighing aloud and rubbing his face, he knew what I knew.
"We lost half of the pack...Some children were caught in the aftermath, and some of the saved children's parents are out there. We have some blood on our hands, but we fought our hardest." He finished solemnly.
I nodded my head feeling the dark cloud over my head grow bigger.
I had to do something, after a moment of silence he spoke,
"We should call the DarkKnight Pack."
I raised my eyebrow inquisitively sitting up in my seat,"The DarkKnight pack? Unless they're willing to form an alliance with us, what can they do?" I asked genuinely curious.
Sitting up, placing his hands on my desk, his eyes lit up,"No man, they offer free, well affordable training to smaller packs."
I wasn't convinced.
"I know man, don't give me that look, think about it; they're the strongest pack in the world, they could help train our pack so that we can defend ourselves, or hell! They'll be on our land, that'll keep the rogues away."I nodded, he did have a good point."They're training course is 3 months long. Yes, and before you ask or say it; they are open to coming to us despite these rogue sitings. They're the most feared pack in the world!"
I wasn't too proud to beg in this case. I have to do what's needed for my pack to survive, and ensure our safety right now.
"they have a trainer-"
"How do you know they'll help us?" I asked skeptically.
"They would never turn down a call from a pack in need. Just think about it. We could get trained and get them to help us with this problem and when it's all over they go home." He said simply slumping back in his seat.
I grabbed my phone and dialed their number.
I stood in the back near some trees, watching Jadah train what is it? The Purple Sniper pack? She was so patient and attentive, she noticed every detail; always very encouraging and confident. She never missed. I was a proud father right now.
Watching her and Georgia grow into the strong women they are now, makes my heart sing.
I get softhearted for my girls.
Ginger sat next to me, taking some time to watch with me; periodically taking a break from her dolls.
Letting proudness seep through my pores I watched as Georgia executed a perfect counterattack. Ginger looked up at me with a huge smile as I clapped lowly; I stuck my tongue out at her causing her to bubble over with giggles.
My thoughts were interrupted when my phone chirped from my pocket.
Knowing exactly who it was I cleared my throat before answering,"Yes baby?" I asked huskily letting arousal slip in my tone. She tittered, blushing, I vibrated with satisfaction.
"There's a call from a pack who wants to speak with you."She purred back,"I'm gonna transfer them over."
I bit my lip in anticipation,
I can't wait to get home.
"Hello." I said getting serious.
"H-" they cleared their throat,"Hello sir."A voice spoke with a tinge of nervousness even his confidence couldn't hide.
"Who am I speaking with?" I asked getting to the point.
"This is Alpha Malachi of the SilverMist Pack." He said and I heard alarm bells go off in my head. I recognized his name immediately. Looking at Jadah I cracked my knuckles.
Hmm
"Is this an emergency?"
"Y-yes, we called to ask for your assistance Sir." Malachi stuttered for the second time.
"I hope this isn't an emergency with your pace!" I chuckled passively.
He nervously chortled clearing his throat again,"I'm sorry about that, yes indeed this is an emergency. My pack was just attacked by rogues and we're facing a huge loss right now. I readâ"
"Heard!" A voice sharply whispered,
"I-I heard about your trainer, Jay and we-"
I sighed cutting them off holding the bridge of my nose, I didn't know if I should laugh or be annoyed.
I chuckled deciding to go easy on the boy,"We'll discuss details later. We'll be over as soon as we can be. Do note that we are in the middle of training a pack right now so please have patience." He let out a sigh of relief.
"Thanks so much sir! I'll throw in any amount you require!" He blabbered, I rolled my eyes smiling,
Sure kid. You can afford the price that I'm thinking of.
"Alright, bye now." I hung up the phone sliding it back into my pocket. Folding my arms I continued to watch my kids.
I felt Gingers' eyes looking at me, she could sense my tension. After keeping my eyes locked ahead she eventually went back to playing with her dolls.
I waited until they were done training the Purple Diaper pack to tell them the news.
Standing before my kids I watched them relax and get settled before I spoke,
"So, I received a phone call from the SilverMist pack today. We have to leave and go assist them for a bit, they need our help. Half of their pack was slaughtered by the rogues we've reported in the area." I finished; looking at the faces of my children, stopping on Jadah I could tell she was trying her hardest to keep it together.
"That's terrible." She responded holding her hands to her mouth with wide horrified eyes.
"We need to leave."She got up hastily and charged towards their room.
I bet my bottom dollar she's feeling responsible, IÂ know my child, she's keeping it together but those tears are about to spill.
Exhaling I breathed in deeply before grabbing Gingers hand.
I was worried about my child and she knew.
"Come on baby girl lets get packed." I smiled before picking her up,
"Daddy can you do it for me?" She asked me batting her eyes. Oh she's good.
"Of course pumpkin." I said tickling her. She giggled in my arms. Oh how I love my daughter.
I'm a ball of nerves right now. I wanted to shit myself yet...dance around excitedly? I look forward to seeing him, Amaris after all this time came forward,
"Jay I can't feel his wolf." She told me and I stopped packing.
"What? What does that mean?" I panicked and she shook her head 'No'.
"No, No, he's not dead he's just dormant. Our absence hurt him so he closed himself off from Malachi." She said and I blew out a sigh in relief. I threw out all the bad thoughts I had. Before it hit me.
"That's probably why the pack was slaughtered like that. Think about it, no alpha no matter how weak would have let all those casualties happen to his pack, unless he couldn't shift." I explained and she nodded her head.
I continued to pack my clothing keeping what I just found out a secret, making sure I blocked my mind link off from the others. That's pretty embarrassing not being able to shift to protect your pack, and I don't want my boys to torment him, that'll really damage his ego, and that's my job. I know I don't hate him but I believe in making my feelings known. I never hated Malachi, I'm just hurt and confused as to why he humiliated someone who was made for him. That's what makes me angry.
When I was done packing I changed into a a pair of gray leggings, and a black half shirt. I pulled some of my hair into a ponytail and left the rest out; before I lugged my luggage outside to our truck. I glanced at the pack and saw a look of disbelief on their faces as we were about to leave. I felt bad. Soon little arms wounded themselves around my legs. I looked down and there was Sarai, and Annissa. I smiled at them before bending down,
"I'll miss you girls, stay together okay?" I made them promise, and they nodded their heads before giving me kisses on my cheeks. Smiling cheekily at them before giving them kisses on their chubby brown cheeks, I let them run away and go play.
I faced the pack again and saw their eyes had softened a bit. I blushed before standing in front of them.
"I know we've only been here for a few days but you guys trained well." I said and they smiled. "We will be back and when we do, we will be working ten times harder, especially if that fridge in that house isn't stocked up. Y'all might as well be prepared for a fight." I joked pounding my fists together.They all chuckled.
Ethan then came up to me and I narrowed my eyes watching him closely.
"I'm sorry Jay, for being disrespectful and not respecting your privacy when you came." He apologized and I nodded,"No hard feelings?"He asked.
"No hard feelings."I agreed pounding fists with him before waving bye and walking away. I seen Tyler waiting outside the car for me,
"You're such a sweetheart." He cooed, pinching my cheeks and I swatted his hands away, before hopping in the car.
"Language! How many times do we have to say it!?" Martin yelled frustrated. Georgie her window down before yelling,
"A billion fucking times!" everyone laughed while he growled and shook his head. I waved bye one last time before we pulled off and was headed home.
When we got home it was around 7AM and we stretched as soon as we got out of the car. My arms popped and I groaned, rolling my shoulders. Today was the day and it didn't even feel like it. That's how calm I felt.
"It's good to be back home." I moaned inhaling a breath of fresh air walking to the back of the truck to grab my bags. The others agreed before sluggishly following suit. It was dark when we got in the house so I walked my bags upstairs.
When I entered my room I belly flopped on my bed. Inhaling the lavender that danced around my head. I felt so relaxed.
"A few minutes won't hurt anybody." I yawned, before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.
"Jadah?" I heard someone say as they rocked me back and forth.
"Hmmmm?" I hummed groggily opening my eyes. I saw Georgie in front of me,
"It's time to get packing; don't want to leave the SilverMist pack waiting." She grinned Deviously. All the sleepiness I felt disappeared when she spoke those words. I hopped up from my bed at the speed of light and ran into my shower. My abilities kick up when I'm excited.
I took a long steamy shower, using my Honey and Jasmines body wash. I washed, deep conditioned, and oiled my hair. When I was done I brushed my teeth, walked out of my bathroom and saw that Georgie had already laid out an outfit for me.
It was a black Nike half shirt, some high-waisted jean shorts, and my Balenciaga runners. I hastily got dressed falling over from time to time because of how fast I was going. Then I paused.
What do I do with my hair?
I seen a blow dryer on my vanity mirror and a lightbulb went off in my head. I sat down and blow dried my hair after putting on heat protectant, until my hair looked like a lions mane. After adding more oil I sectioned my hair in zig zag parts and put it into two ponytails. I shook my head enjoying when my puffs moved around.
My door opened and when I turned around I saw Georgie with her hair in an Afro, a white crop top, some high waisted jean shorts, her white Air Force 1's, and her sunglasses.
"You look good!" I gushed hopping up from my seat. She grinned at me,
"So do you!" She spent me around,"I have great taste."She said to herself after examining my outfit. She looked up and played with my puffs.
"You like like an adorable bad-ass kid." She said and I busted out laughing.
I hurriedly packed my bags before we walked downstairs. I saw everyone looking good in their black and white, even Jax, Martin, and Levi. When their eyes met us they let out whistles and howls. I blushed and laughed. Georgie started striking poses and pulled me in so we both began to model as they hyped us up.
Soon Gin came over wearing the exact same thing as the boys. Two identical boys. She pulled out two pairs of sunglasses from her jacket, gave me a pair and we began modeling again.
The boys laughed and clapped at us. I blew kisses and ruffled my puffs then sashayed back to the staircase. When we were done Jax, and Levi had already put our bags in the trucks.
"Y'all ready?" Jax asked us, we chuckled before nodding and walking out the house to our escalades.
I hopped in the passenger side and Georgie hopped in the driver side, the boys sat in the back.
"Alright, I wanna make a grand entrance so don't let them see me, ok?" I asked and they nodded. I turned back around to Georgie who was grinning like a maniac. We buckled our seat belts and was on our way.
I wanted it to feel like any other time we went to go train a pack but this trip held more weight. My old pack. I'm gonna see my mom, and dad, and siblings. Malachi. On the way there, I played all my faves, lots of rock, and oldies.
When we got closer, two guards stood in our path stopping us; I noticed one was Leo, and the other was one of the guys that used to bully me.
"Guys that's Leo and one of the guys that used to bully me." I whispered to them. When the guys got to our car they were met with glares that could pierce skin. They were blind sided by the scrutiny before they spoke,
"Who are you and why are you on our territory?" Leo asked, when he saw me he squinted his eyes trying to get a good glimpse of who I was but Georgie moved her head in his way with a smile.
"We're here to train this pack." She finished. Fear flashed in his eyes as he quickly put two-and-two together, mind-linking who I'm guessing was Malachi. When he focused on us again he nodded his head before letting us pass.
When we drove past I remembered the curvatures in the roads and finally saw that contradiction of a sign that stood some yards before the town. It read:
"SiverMist Pack; where all wolves are respected here."
I snorted rolling my eyes focusing back on the road.
"He was so scared!" I laughed," I'm surprised he didn't recognize me off the bat." I trailed off laughing a bit trying to keep to keep up the good energy.
But what did I expect?
Tyler pulled me from drowning by putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I appreciated the action more than he knew.
When we pulled to the house a knot grew in my stomach. I immediately cowered and flew to the back trampling over Tyler and the Twins. Sitting up and looking out the window from behind a head of curls I noticed my pack standing on the front lawn looking a little nervous. I'm surprised, I don't see the usual wanna be intimidating stares. When we parked the car I waited for the boys to get out first. Georgie stayed back with me until they were completely blocking the view from us.
"You ready?" She asked taking my hand in hers and squeezing it. I focused on her, letting her comfort subside the anxiety I was feeling. I slowly cracked a smile feeling the tears in my eyes dry up. I heard someone speaking and telling from the shivers that ran up my spine it was Malachi. His voice was deep and velvety. I moaned losing all control but Georgie smacked my arm.
"Ouch" I muttered and she rolled her eyes, someone else spoke.
"And my daughters." I heard Jax say, and I grabbed Georgie's hand before we made our way to the front. Ginger was on Jax's shoulders, her eyes glowing gold.
"Ginger Knight. Calm your self." Jax voiced in a clipped tone.
She breathed in before exhaling allowing her eyes to fade into those rich browns.
When I surfaced, everyone pinched their eyes together my face obviously familiar to them.
"I'm Georgia Heart Knight eldest daughter." She said licking her teeth evilly at Leila who looked like she was about to piss herself.
"I'm Jay, and I'll be your trainer Surprise." I made jazz hands and everyone gaped at me.
Oh yeah this is gonna be fun.