THE BRIDE SELECTION was a flurry of excitement and anticipation. That morning, we rose with the sun, quickly getting ready. Our best clothes were packed, and then a carriage carried Yunhua and I, along with our closest maid, into the walls of the Imperial Palace.
I had never been within the Palace walls before, but Yunhua seemed to have. I gripped her hand tightly as I looked out of the window.
"Do not be scared," she said mildly. "It shall all work out."
We'd been repeating those words for the past few weeks now. I did not know who she was trying to comfortâme or herself.
"I am not scared," I told her. "Merely excited. The Palace is much bigger than I'd imagined."
"It is a small city in itself," she told me. "Come, sit properly."
The first round was simple enough: we stood in rows as the eunuchs and aunties picked among us. Around half of us were left behind. I was split from Yunhua, and instead found myself standing next to someone I was quite familiar with: Luo Xueying.
The lady gave me a glance and turned away with a little laugh. No words were shared, but enough was said anyways.
I did not look at her.
We were then led away in small groups, where the aunties would spend the rest of the day teaching us the correct etiquette in front of the Emperor. Those who failed to meet their expectations by the end of the day would be sent home. Of course, a majority of us had already been well-taught by our families beforehand, but there were some intricacies that had to be relayed by the aunties then.
Again, Yunhua was in another group than I. I was in a group of seven girls, who I would be presented alongside in the Hall of Virtuous Glory tomorrow.
I recognised a few of them besides Luo Xueying. None of the girls from my group were eliminated that night.
To my annoyance, I was allocated the same room that evening with Luo Xueying. The moment the door shut behind us, with both our maids outside awaiting instruction from the aunties, Luo Xueying let out a grave huff.
"Such misfortune, being in the same room as you."
I raised one brow. While I might have been scared of speaking back to her some months ago, that time had long passed. "I could say much the same, Miss Luo. But please, do try to hold your tongue. I would hate for you to affect my chances as well as your own."
"As if you would be able to marry someone of high status either way. Not with your cousin already set to be the Crown Princess Consort."
"I'm glad that you're aware of that, Miss Luo."
Luo Xueying wasn't a bad person. That, I had observed over these months. A few months prior, a group of refugees had fled into Luoyang, and Luo Xueying had been one of the first to immediately set out food stalls to offer them food and shelter. Yunhua had followed sometime later, but the quickness with which Miss Luo had reacted showed that while she was incorrigible towards me and the Shangguans, that dislike was strictly personal.
And most of the other lords and ladies were somewhat fond of her. She was a great beauty and seemed smart in all manners of subject until it came to the Shangguan sisters, myself an honorary member. But like Duan shizi had told me in those early days, she was all bark and no bite. I had nothing to worry about.
"Oh, as if being the Crown Princess Consort will be so fun." Something glinted in her eyes and she offered me a little smirk as she twirled around, smoothing her bedsheets.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "You better not be planning anything."
She didn't reply, instead sitting down on her bed. We'd change and shower after our maids returned and get an early night's sleep in preparation for tomorrow.
I thought our conversation was long over, but then she suddenly sounded, "What do you think will happen tomorrow?"
I shrugged. "Who knows? Our fate is not in our hands."
"Do you not think it's ridiculous?" she whispered. "That our lives change just like that? One snap? The Emperor doesn't even know us well. How does he know he'll make the right match?"
"I think our feelings matter little in the face of political benefits for our families, Miss Luo."
"It's unfair."
"And out of our hands. Not all of us can be Shangguan Yunjun."
"I admire her," Luo Xueying admitted. "I don't like your cousins or you, but I've always liked the second Miss Shangguan. A most admirable girl."
I said nothing. She didn't seem to want a response. "But you're right," she continued. "We can't all be her. So we will dress ourselves up and present the best side of ourselves tomorrow in the Hall and hope that we are given a good match and that everything shall be well."
She wasn't convincing me. She was convincing herself. Maybe there was more debt to Luo Xueying than I thought. I wasn't sure why she was telling me thisâperhaps because there was no one else here to talk to about this. Or maybe because since I was cousins with Yunjun, she thought I might share some of these views.
But it seemed fairly idiotic to say such things within Palace walls, where spies may be listening.
So I told her, warning in my tone, "It is not in our place to discuss these things. You forget yourself, Miss Luo."
"But you agree with me. I can tell. How are you not worried? You've already made plans for tomorrow, haven't you? You're close with some of them. Have you already been told who you'd be granted a marriage with?"
I didn't say anything.
"You have, haven't you?" A pause. "I have, too."
"So why are you worried?"
"It's not a good match." Luo Xueying let out a bitter laugh. "It's not what I wanted, my god. But what other choice do I have?"
This was getting out of hand. Again, I repeated, "Miss Luo. You are forgetting yourself."
"No," Luo Xueying snarled. "This is myself. At least let me be myself for one more damned night before everything is set in stone." Our eyes met, and I did not miss the fury flickering in her gaze. Gone was the cool composure I was used to seeing on her. The only thing left was pure, unadulterated rage.
"Miss Luo," I softened my voice, taking a step closer. "We are in the Imperial Palace. This is not the place to act improperly."
She set her jaw. "I thought you had a rebellious streak in you, really. Coming outside from Luoyang and all. That you'd find all of this ridiculous." She spread her hands before slamming it into the bed.
I did. In the deepest of nights, I did. But there was no benefit in sharing that. I turned away, taking off some of my jewellery. "You thought wrong, Miss Luo."
She only smiled, as if she knew something I did not. And I had a striking suspicion that she did.
A match she was not happy with? One of the older Princes? I knew some of them still had no wife. I doubted she'd be a concubine, though it wasn't impossible. That might distress her too, even though an imperial concubine of a Prince was very different from the concubine from the families of nobles or merchants. They were mistresses in their own rights.
Either way, it was of no matter to me. Duan shizi had assured me that the Emperor would adhere to his request.
All would be well.
â
WE ENTERED IN groups of seven. Yunhua was in the group before me, and I was unable to hear what had happened inside. But after they were done, we were summoned in.
The Hall of Virtuous Glory was historically used for Bride Selections. It was not fancily decorated, with detailed wooden decorations, a wooden screen before the door that we stood in a line in front of. The room was rather empty. The Emperor and Empress sat at the front of the room, sat atop ornate chairs.
I'd picked my prettiest gown, a silky blue thing with large sleeves that flowed like water. The ruqun was a lighter shade than the robe around it, with jewellery from Grandmother that she told me would fit my station.
I was the third in the line. The fourth was Luo Xueying. I waited, as the first girl was introduced. Her name, her father and his position, as well as her age. We'd all ran over this yesterday with the Aunties, but the girl still stumbled on her words when she wished the Emperor and Empress good luck and a long life.
I could not see their expression, for my head was lowered, but it could not have been good.
"So green," the Empress murmured. "Perhaps a few more years at home would do you some good, girl. Gift the girl a flower."
That was rejection. A flower was rejection. This girl would not be gifted a marriage. It was not necessarily a bad thing for most families. All of those seeking a bride this time would have had items of their own already prepared, to be given to the girl who would be granted to them as a wife.
I wonder what Duan shizi's was.
They moved onto the second. The girl performed much better, but a flower was still her reward.
The Empress sounded much kindlier this time. "Your father was a good man. A most loyal general. I think you would make him proud."
Despite it, the girl did not sound displeased at all. Instead, she sounded, still on her knees, "Thank you so much for your kind words, Your Majesty."
"Stand and be at ease."
She did so. And now it was my turn.
The eunuch called out my introduction: "Fei Minxi, daughter of Junior Surveillance Commissioner Fei Yang. Aged fifteen."
I dropped elegantly onto my knees, greeting the Emperor and Empress and wishing them the best of luck and a long life as I had been taught to for months. I did not stumble. I kept my head lowered on the floor.
"Raise your head, girl." It was the Emperor who said this. He had not spoken since we'd entered.
I obeyed, still being careful not to meet his eyes, staring at the leg of his chair.
"A beautiful girl," he praised, "I can see why Duan shizi sings your praises."
I bowed. "Thank you for your kind words, Your Imperial Majesty."
The Empress teased, "With how things have gone and the words that have been said to us, I see no reason to say anything else. Give her the token."
A eunuch came towards me, holding a tray. In it was a jade bracelet, so pale it was almost white. I was no master of jades, but I could tell immediately it was expensive. Scarily so.
The Empress explained, "Chiqian insisted on giving you this. This was gifted by my father-in-law, the late Emperor, to Dowager Consort Chun. A suet white jade bracelet. One of its kind."
"Thank you, Your Imperial Majesty, Your Majesty!" Before accepting the bracelet, I offered another bow before putting it on with the aid of the eunuch.
"Stand, and be at peace." I finally stood, my head still lowered.
It had happened. With this, I became the Consort of Duan shizi. At that moment, all my fears washed from my body.
It was Luo Xueying's turn.
"Luo Xueying. Daughter of Imperial Secretary Luo Yuwen. Aged sixteen."
She was absolutely perfect as she bowed and greeted the Emperor and Empress. They must have seen her plenty of times before, for the Emperor began, "You have only grown more beautiful with age, Miss Luo."
"Thank you, Your Imperial Majesty."
"We have heard plenty of your wisdom and feats. Such talent in such a young girl, very admirable." The Empress let out a light laugh. "Only the best for you, I think."
Oh.
Oh no.
"We have always promised that the Crown Prince's wife shall be the eldest Miss Shangguan, who is the epitome of virtue and capability in a girl of your age. But I think it would be even better if you were to enter the Eastern Palace as Side Consort, Miss Luo. It would be the best of both worlds."
That was the meaning behind all of Luo Xueying's words yesterday. And the reports of her being around the Crown Prince often these days. Did Yunhua know? That Miss Luo was to become the Crown Prince's concubine? And not just any concubine, but the Side Consort, only a step below her?
If or when the Crown Prince inherited the imperial throne, Yunhua would be Empress. And Luo Xueying would be the Noble Consort. And her family was as powerful as the Shangguans.
They did it on purpose. They didn't want the Crown Prince to only marry Yunhua. That would give the Shangguans too much power, especially since I was to wed Duan shizi as well. So they came up with this. Not only to balance out Yunhua's influence, but also to boost the Imperial Secretary's power.
This was all just a game of politics, wasn't it?
And us daughters, we were all just pawns.
"Bring her the token." The eunuch stepped forward, a tray in hand again. This time, it was a beautiful hairpin, the end carved in the shape of a flower. The Empress continued, "The Crown Prince chose this specifically for you, Miss Luo. He told us that your favourite flowers are haitang blossoms."
"It is, Your Majesty. Thank you."
If I had not heard her words from yesterday, I'd have believed that she was genuinely overjoyed. But I knew she didn't like this in the deepest pits of her heart. That she was forced in this position. That she had no more freedom than any of the rest of us.
I pitied her.
I pitied her greatly.
I was not fully listening for the rest of the three girls. Two were rejected, given flowers. But one, the daughter of one of the Ministers of Justice, was granted to the Third Prince as his main wife and consort.
Her name was Qin Yue. An extremely quiet girl who said few things.
Unlike Luo Xueying or I, her marriage did not seem to have been planned beforehand. The Emperor did not seem fully pleased with it. The Empress was the one who'd pushed it forward despite that.
But the Emperor said nothing. And his silence was enough of a justification that Qin Yue was given a token. The Third Prince's token was a round jade with a hole in the middle, the kind that was worn around daily on clothes.
And then we were ushered off, without much else. The aunties met us outside and led us to our carriages.
Yunhua was already sitting inside, and she raised one brow as I entered. "Well?"
"I have been granted in marriage to Duan shizi."
She nodded, as if unsurprised. "The royal writ will be sent to our manor this afternoon, I think. Be ready for it."
"Yunhua?"
"Yes?"
"Luo Xueying has been granted to the Crown Prince as his Side Consort."
For the first time since I'd entered Luoyang, I saw blankness in Yunhua's expression. Pure and utter shock rippled through her face until she finally recovered, turning to me hastily. "What happened?"
I told her what the Emperor and Empress had said in the Hall of Virtuous Glory.
Yunhua's eyes fluttered shut. "I should have seen this coming. Of course the Emperor and Empress would not allow all this power to fall to our family."
"Qin Yue has been granted in marriage to the Third Prince."
Yunhua frowned. "Her? But her father is barely of any power and she herself is so quiet and weaklyâ"
"The Empress granted it."
"And how did the Emperor react?"
"Silence."
"That is good for us. The Third Prince is the only worthy opponent to the Crown Prince. But this means the Emperor does not care to support him."
"Are you alright?" I asked, tilting my head. "Luo Xueying will not make your life easy. But I do not think she is happy with how things have gone either. I was in the room with her last night, and she seemed extremely unhappy."
"She's a girl who craves freedom at heart, I think. At least over her own life." Yunhua sighed. "That does not mean she will make things easy for me. It is nothing personal now, merely a problem of family power and influence. That is why they have decided upon this, I think. Now I must see if they insist on her marrying the Crown Prince on the same day as me, or later than me to see how serious this situation is."
"Is this not disrespecting us to our face?"
"They are our rulers," Yunhua sounded, steadying herself. "They can do with us as they please. Father will not be pleased to hear any of this tonight. Tell me, had you and Duan shizi already discussed this beforehand?"
"Yes. He told me he would request the Emperor grant us marriage."
"Do not tell Father that," Yunhua laughed. "Do not tell him that at all."
I knew why. Shangguan An would have been hoping I married one of the powerful princes with influence. Or perhaps as a high ranking concubine to them, like Luo Xueying. He would be able to accept that the Emperor had appointed me to Duan shizi, but he would not be happy to know that I had agreed to it myself and knew it was to happen.
It felt strange that Yunhua would help me hide such a thing. But I was not going to let her down. So instead, I nodded and thanked her.
She seemed to be lost in thought, so I remained quiet for the rest of the carriage journey home.