The Solstice

We didn’t get a chance to go on any walks. In the weeks leading up to the solstice, we were both busier and busier. Instead of dealing with work from the comfort of the manor, Anhelina, Putra, and I made our way to town at least two or three times a week to help out.

On Muin’s request I made sure I was in town at least once a week to show face and let people know they could ask me anything, but this was different. Unlike Wisteria, that had a day’s long festival, Datura had an all day and night festival that seemed determined to cram all of the festivities Wisteria had into those twenty-four hours.

The square was full of stalls selling clothes, drawings, woodworking, handmade journals, handmade weapons. Some offered the opportunity to get discounted services through games like the seamstress I helped haul materials for. Some even offered complimentary services just for the fun of the holiday like the bookbinder who always smelled like glue.

In the days before, we helped hang streams, paper stars, lanterns, and Putra helped haul in an evergreen tree to set up in the square. If the night went well and no one was too drunk, we’d set the tree alight to burn away the bad karma of the last year and mark ourselves with the ashes to bring in good karma for new growth and change.

The whole set up was impressive and I was glad to lend a hand.

Instead of full letters, we left small notes on the others desk. Words of encouragement, a stray thought we wanted to share, and even some teasing on his end.

> Seeing you in your natural habitat was a bit startling, but watching you hide from me was quite funny. It made my morning and gave me something to chuckle about while working.

Reading it made my face burn hot and I wished there was anything I could have done to look less like a paint covered gremlin, but I knew I my heart that’s just who I was. It also didn’t help that the day I got the note was the next full moon. As my little heart raced in my ribcage and with wings fluttering as I soared around the room, my little songbird brain could only think of those words, and I wished I had the freedom to sing.

I kept all of his letters in the drawer of my bedside table, but I kept that one in my desk.

Looking myself over in the mirror, I sighed, wishing I could calm down. Muin was going to be at the festival today and my stomach refused to still. It felt like a torrent of butterflies were released and no amount of breathing was going to help.

“Do you also need that tea?” Putra asked. We were standing outside as Franz pulled the carriage to the front. Since the manor couldn’t be empty for any significant amount of time, Anhelina, Jurek, Putra, Muin, and I would be going to the festival during the day and Franz, Freja, Kristina, Pili, Fedir, and Kasi would come to town upon our return. They were more night people than the rest of us. “I think Fedir has some left over from earlier.”

“I don’t think it would help. I’d still be nervous.”

Franz jumped from the coachman’s seat and handed the reins off to Putra. “Thanks for being so patient. She doesn’t really like to get moving for anyone else.”

“I understand. There was a mare at Notti Manor that would kick at everyone but Hyran and I. It was a wonder the Viscounts Notti kept her.”

“It was the one thing they did for me,” I said, trying to focus on not running back inside. “They knew I liked the mare, even if everyone else hated her.”

Franz laughed. “Sounds like a good mare. Have fun, my lady. This festival is always the highlight of the year. Oh, and look out for the dragon. She likes to make an appearance at the tree lighting and will fly over a few times before.”

Putra helped me into the carriage where Anhelina was already nervously tapping her foot against the seat. “You know,” he said, cocking his head with a smirk. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had a crush with how nervous you’ve been lately.”

My ears burned as heat rushed to my face and I slammed the door shut in his face. He cackled as he walked to the front and climbed on. I crossed my arms, sinking in my seat as he cracked the reins, and we took off to town.

It was ridiculous, of course. I was nervous about a lot of things all the time. I was nervous every time we went to town because I was sure I would misremember something or, Solas forbid, forget someone’s name. Today was an even worse day for compounding worries. The festival was starting now at nine in the morning, and it had yet to snow all month. Looking out the window as we jostled our way down the hill, I could see clouds looking heavy over the sky.

Not just that, I didn’t know that much about Muin anyway. Sure, I was getting to know him and the last two and half to three months we exchanged letters regularly and if I closed my eyes, I could see his face in exact detail, but that was to be expected. We didn’t know each other before the wedding, and I didn’t see him very often so I tried my best to remember what I could.

It was fine.

I was fine.

I didn’t have a crush.

Anhelina’s foot hit the seat with more force than expected as we went over a bump and she jumped, putting an hand to her chest. I smiled. There wouldn’t be time to restock the tea today, but in a few days, we’d need to get more. If she was going to continue coming with me to town, I couldn’t let her go without it.

Snow started to drift softly from the sky as we arrived Anhelina smiled we rolled to a stop, looking out the window of the decorated town. “Everything looks perfect.”

The door opened and instead of Putra standing there, Muin was. Dressed in a thick fur lined tunic with an equally thick cloak draped over his shoulders, he looked like the heroes I saw in paintings. Imposing and handsome and deadly.

Thankfully I’d asked Anhelina to get my better-looking clothes ready, so I was dressed similarly, with thick pants tucked into boots to keep the cold at bay and scarves wrapped around our necks, though my cloak was purple instead of black and reached my calves.

He held up his gloved hand that I took gingerly like I was handling a deadly snake. His hand was firm as he helped me from the carriage, and helped steady me as I stepped down. The roads were starting to get a little icy. His gaze lingered for a moment, taking my clothes and nose scrunched against the wind with a small smile. Then he turned back to the carriage, extending his hand again for Anhelina.

“I’ll get the horses to a stable and then come back,” Putra said from his seat. He still had that smug look on his face, and I wished we were alone so I could smack him. “I’ll be back soon, my lords.”

“Stay safe,” was all I managed to say without biting his head off.

Anhelina stood close by for warmth as I looked around. She was right. Everything was perfect. Streamers on streetlamps that would light up when the sun went down, the resident artist sparing some reflective paint for decorations. The tree was covered in colorful little paper stars of wishes people had for the upcoming year. A little before midnight a trail would be made so light it up from a distance, creating a warm glow over the whole town.

If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

As we walked, I tried not to make a direct beeline for the bakery stand. There was something so addictive about her bread. Or maybe it was just bread in general that I couldn’t resist. It seemed to have gotten worse after being introduced to Esther, the woman who owned and ran it.

Thankfully she waved us down, so I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t eyeing the small paintings she’d set up of the bread she was offering, and the handwritten price taped on the side. She’d asked me after my third time in the bakery if I could paint them for her. It was a little jarring since I never said I was a painter, but then she pointed out the paint in my hair and the charcoal smear on my arm. Anhelina, who had gotten used to seeing me like that, hadn’t noticed. Everyone was embarrassed that day, but it was the first commission I’d received, and I was more than happy to do it.

“Lord Muin. Happy solstice.” She bowed her head, then turned to me, grinning. “Lady Hyran! It’s so good to see you. And thanks again for the signs. Everyone’s been telling me how good they make the food look.”

“I’m glad it all worked out,” I said. “All your baked goods were more than enough payment for the signs. If anything, I feel like I made out like a bandit, getting to do both of the things I love.”

She laughed. “I think you’re the only person I know who loves to eat just bread. How’s that loaf I made for you last week? Did it last very long?”

I sighed forlornly, thinking about it. “Fedir has it tucked away and won’t let me just eat it so we still have some. Some of the best bread I’ve ever had. No one else will eat it, though.”

“My lady,” Anhelina said, shaking her head. She looked to Esther whose eyebrows had shot up at my comment. “The reason we won’t eat it is because we know Lady Hyran likes it so much. Fedir even refused to serve it to Lord Muin who also has an appreciation for food.”

“Well, that’s something,” Esther laughed. “I’m all out tonight, but next time you’re in town, I’ll bake some fresh bread just for y’all. Enough for everyone at the manor, how about that?”

“That would be awesome, Esther, thank you,” I said.

“Just remember that you have to share it,” she teased. “And Enara wanted you to swing by to see the finished stall. She’s really grateful for all the heavy lifting.”

I shrugged. My whole job was to help everyone and make sure they were living their lives as best as they could. More than anything, I was happy to be useful and have something to do. “I used to help my dad in the garden, and he insisted on using the best fertilizer despite not being able to carry any of the bags. I was the only one, aside from Putra, that would help him move them around. Carrying a few boxes of manuscripts so she can get off her leg is nothing much for me.”

“Well, make sure you swing over there before you leave. She’s got something for you.”

“For me? I didn’t ask for anything.” Maybe Putra put something in my name knowing it would get finished faster. I had hoped he would have left that habit when we came here, but maybe my hopes were too high.

Esther smiled and said, “Just make sure you swing around there.”

We walked off, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it was. There wasn’t anything I wanted that I couldn’t make myself. The only thing I could think of was a professional binding of my art, but that was more effort than I was willing to go through. I was content to go through them as I pleased, flipping through the papers until I settled on the one I wanted to set out on my desk for the day.

“Thank you.” Muin’s voice startled me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry?” I looked up at him, noticing the snow was sticking to his beard. He looked around as we walked the square, taking in the decorations.

“I asked you early on to visit the town and it seems like you’ve made a good impression on everyone here. Thank you for that. I know it can be daunting coming into a close community like this one, but it’s clear you’ve put in the effort. I appreciate that.”

I tucked my chin into my scarf, suddenly embarrassed. “It’s my duty,” I said, twisting the corner of my shirt. “It helps that everyone is already so friendly and welcoming.”

We stopped in front of Naaji’s drink stall and Muin chuckled, shaking his head. “Lady Hyran, have you ever taken a compliment in your life?”

Anhelina laughed behind me, covering it with a cough as I turned to glare at her. She scurried around us and got in line, still giggling to herself. She’d asked me the same question not too long ago.

I pulled my cloak tighter and looked up in time to see the dragon flying overhead. She looked around, surveying the town as she banked west back into the forest. I could see her better in the morning light. Blue and purple and grey scales glistened in the light, two horned protruding from her head, and wide, thin wings angling the wind. She was as beautiful as she was deadly.

Snow was coming down faster and it was starting to stick. The roofs of several stalls were covered in a light dusting of powder, though the owners didn’t seem to care. It was wonderful to me, but mundane to them.

I looked back to Muin who was watching me with a curious look. “Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever been complimented to my face and knew they meant it before coming here. I mean, Putra will say I’m doing well on something sometimes, but I’ve known him for so long it hardly counts.” Most of his compliments were tempered with well-placed jabs so I never forgot what a menace he was.

Muin looked thoughtful for a moment before leaning down to make sure we were eye level before he said, “My Lady Hyran, from the bottom of my heart, I want you to know you are doing a phenomenal job at taking care of our people. You’ve not only helped everyone else, but you’ve also helped me tremendously. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

I felt like my heart was going to stop. He had me trapped in his gaze, his eyes almost daring me to rebut him or downplay what he said. There was something about his sincere words that made me want to squirm and filled me with a jitteriness only coffee could hope to imitate. My kneejerk reaction was to downplay, deny, distract. It was the only way I would ever make it through any conversation with my family. My achievements weren’t great or interesting. They were expected or already done before; nothing to brag about.

I looked away, trying to regulate my emotions to avoid transforming, and saw Anhelina who was coming back with four cups held against her chest. I felt bad I was relieved to see her struggling, but at least now I could leave without seeming rude.

As I turned, he grabbed my hand to stop me, tilting my head up with his other hand until I met his eyes again. “I mean it.”

I couldn’t find my voice, so I just nodded and scurried away to help Anhelina with the drinks.

“Are you alright?” she asked, handing over one of the drinks. I took a sip of hot cider and relaxed a bit. “You look a little panicked.”

“I am.” I took another sip, focusing on the burn in my throat. “Let’s go see Enara.”

I hustled ahead of them, Muin hanging back with Anhelina while I tried to stay focused. I tugged my scarf off, tying it around my arm, hoping the breeze would help cool my neck. The interaction with Muin left me hot and the cider only made it worse. I pressed a hand to my chest, willing my heart to slow down. Nothing but my own inability stopped me from moving, but I knew he could keep me place with just his forefinger and thumb on my chin.

“Lady Hyran,” Enara said, waving me down. She sat at her stall, manuscripts in glass containers to keep them safe from the snow, her cane leaning against the wall, and her mobile workspace covered in cloth and glue. Her glasses were ill-fitting, sliding down her nose as she pushed them up again and smiled. “I didn’t think Esther would tell you to book it over here.”

“Nice,” I said as she gave me a big smile at her pun. “And, uh, she didn’t tell me to hurry. I’m just… curious about what you have. I didn’t order anything.”

She laughed, slapping the table and rattling her tools. “I know you didn’t, Lord Hyran. What I have to give you is the guarantee for a discounted custom binding of your paintings, should you choose to do that.”

“Oh, Enara. I-I couldn’t. That’s—”

“Very generous of you.” I could feel the heat radiating off of Muin as he stood behind me. He looked down at me with a smirk, that look of a dare in his eyes again. “There are paintings you’d love to put into a book, I’m sure.”

I stared him down, suddenly irritated at being embarrassed so easily. I lived with Liza after my curse manifested and all the bullying that came with it. Nothing should be able to cow me now.

I smiled and said, “Nothing I could show you, Lord Muin. My art isn’t for people who aren’t nice to me.”

He chuckled, leaning down again, and cocking his head to the side. “If that’s what you consider not nice, I can be mean, if you really want to see that.”

I reached up, adjusting his scarf, my hands warming as they got close. “I’d like to see you try.”